Good evening Bloggets. Well, my head is done in… I’m so confused, in fact my con has never been so fused! Hub and I have spent so long over the past few days deciding where things will go in our new kitchen. I have had more men in my house today, smile… Well, what else is a girl to do?
We have floor tiles on the floor of our kitchen, well, Fiona, where else would one have floor tiles? See, I told you I was confused. Talk about double vision? We have double trouble. We learned not long after we moved here that the person before us, lay the floor tiles on top of other tiles. The man today said that if we lift the second lot of tiles up, we may find that the original floorboards come up and the whole floor basically gives in…. Well, I laughed and showed him our ceiling, oh what a mess that is? There are more cracks in that than the before facelift job of an old actress!
This job is daunting. I’m stressed and we are only on week one. It’s such a big job as in stupid shape of our kitchen. I tell you trying to design a room like this is so difficult, when I did my last extension on another house, remember I told you I drew the plans out on some graph paper? Oh, that was so funny, especially when I handed the builders the design and they asked who did them for me? Hahaha. I told them I did, and they were shocked, but I just don’t have the confidents to do that now days, I am slowly struggling to write my name. Today I was asked to sign a bit of paper, heck, seriously, what was that for again??? Em. I really don’t know, but the man was impressed as he said he has had sighted people who can’t write their name in the box and apparently, my name was right in the centre of where it should have been. It’s something I should practice, just a simple signature, as I am not at all comfortable about writing now not as I used to be. As far as graphs and designs, in my last extension, when I think back, it was a huge dining room, a shower room a study and a large bedroom, but they were simple rooms even the shower room was quite basic in comparison to a kitchen where we have to know about the cooker/oven where it’s going, what kind of oven and hob, the gap above the hob as sadly we have to have a gas hob because the electric hobs are almost all touch pads and I need dials. But me and gas, hmm. I don’t like gas at all. Hub says he prefers to cook on gas, em,, excuse me love, but how many times do you, cook? I can see myself going up in a blue flame… We have to fit in an integrated fridge, freezer, washing machine and dryer. In our kitchen, there are corners and pipe work that have to be made so cupboards go around them. And then we are wanting a pull-out basket cupboard so we can have our tins in and organise them in a better way. I wanted cupboards where the corners of the room, the cupboards kind of pull out and around not to waist space. Now, remembering all this and off to the show room to see what they make of us and just how they will describe things to us? Even walking around the show room, this may be fun, exciting, or a complete waist of time… Let’s see. We are off on our kitchen adventure. Stay tuned in later with what happened. X
Thursday, 30 March 2017
Wednesday, 29 March 2017
DIARY OF A GRUMPY FI BY FIONA CUMMINGS
My eyes are killing me. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I want to have no responsibilities like cleaning and cooking. My beautiful Waggatail has been out this morning and I played with her in the garden afterwards and she has been groomed. So, she can sleep now, when I went out earlier with my friend for lunch, she wouldn’t have slept and Boy Wonder has been home for lunch so she will have had time with him. He took her for a long walk yesterday and she now has no collar. I’m so cross. I asked him last night or this morning at half midnight, I even told him it was half midnight and hoped that he would get up and take Sham home, but no, the cheek of them both, they slept and he got up to take her home at half seven, went to the gym till half ten after having breakfast where she works and of course no time to look for her collar. He said he has work. I said I asked you when it was time to take Sham home, and asked you at half seven when you snook out of the house to drive her home before work. So why didn’t you make time to find it? It’s not just her play collar, but has her disc on for id. I don’t like her being without it in case she gets out and there are a load of people due this week. Also, it has her bells on and I need them for when she is in the garden, even things like when feeding her, she has to sit and wait for her dinner until I give her a command to go to her dish… It’s called respect and it’s better than jumping up at the dish knocking it out of my hands. It’s respect something that some people just don’t have these days. It sounds odd perhaps, but when her bells are on, I know when she is sitting and where she is. Even in the house. Now he’s not back until nine tonight, it will be a rush to get to Shamrocks not time to talk breathe anything. I wish they hadn’t took her last night. I was happy for Waggs as she would have loved it but the stress of the collar?
I had a nice time with my friend we went to lunch and caught up. She’s a lovely person, so sweet and we get on really well. I’m just sad I’m back and wish I could be with friends more but they all work and have very busy lives. Next time I see Geordie, is a trip to the eye hospital and that I am dreading, I love to see Geordie, she is a tonic but not to go to the hospital, though I’m so grateful to her because at least I won’t be sitting there on my own. And she has removed the stress of getting to the hospital on my own. Gosh, I feel sick though, I hate going there so much. I have bad memories of English eye hospitals. Well actually hospitals in general. And what will they be like? What will they say and will they give me any news? In general, they are so dam patronising. The last time I went the guy said how intelligent I was. Yep, and what about my eyes? I have honestly lost count on just how many Doctors have told me I’m intelligent. Not of course talking in the early days when they tried to convince my Mum I was sighted, just had learning problems and that is why I was tripping up and so on. But all sorts of Doctors as well as GP’s. what has that got to do with my eyes, hysterectomy or hernia? Smile. It’s as if they are shocked that I’m blind and have a brain.
Also, last time I was at the eye hospital, I had to have a flipping blood test and it was a Biggy too as they wanted loads of blood to use for trials and so on. Surely, they won’t need that this time? It’s the same blood… It’s so far from where we live I feel bad my friend has to drive all that way, but I will give her money for petrol of course, I just think her days would be spent better off not having to do this for me. That is my trouble, I hate asking for help and I actually didn’t she learned I was going and offered. But I feel guilty, I can’t do anything for her. Like my friend today, she always drives us to lunch, I wish I could do that for her and I hope one day I will be able to. Let’s see what happens in a couple of weeks.
So back to wanting to sleep. I have felt anxious for a couple of days and I think my body is in some kind of shock. I’m not sure if I am ready for this huge project we have with our kitchen. My Hub won’t be getting involved at all and it will be up to me to organise everything. Tomorrow I will pick the kitchen, I am not even sure Hub will be coming with me as he said he just can’t cope with it all. He has a huge brain, can deal with projects in the work place and budgets and at one time in his life had hundreds of staff under him. No, he wasn’t squashing them, I mean he was in charge of their work choices but getting him to move furniture? He freaks out. I have done a huge extension in my life where I even drew out the plans for it though I had no sight, long story. That was massive, it involved a very large room at the back of the house, a shower room, study and bedroom upstairs. This is a kitchen. But because it’s been nineteen years since I had sight, I’m losing confidents in the sighted world.
I can’t even find a bloody dog collar let alone sort our kitchen out. Also, we have never had luck with workmen apart from our old electrician, new one and of course our joiner. But other electricians, builders and even the company who did our conservatory, have gone bankrupt. So, I guess it’s a lot and it hasn’t even started yet. Not really.
So, will I go to wrest my head and mind? Or will I dust and mop then make dinner? Hmm. Let’s see, but I bet what I end up doing won’t involve a bed.
Some good news though, the friend I was with today, I’m seeing her again in a couple of weeks, so that will be lovely. Later from a grumpy Fi. X
I had a nice time with my friend we went to lunch and caught up. She’s a lovely person, so sweet and we get on really well. I’m just sad I’m back and wish I could be with friends more but they all work and have very busy lives. Next time I see Geordie, is a trip to the eye hospital and that I am dreading, I love to see Geordie, she is a tonic but not to go to the hospital, though I’m so grateful to her because at least I won’t be sitting there on my own. And she has removed the stress of getting to the hospital on my own. Gosh, I feel sick though, I hate going there so much. I have bad memories of English eye hospitals. Well actually hospitals in general. And what will they be like? What will they say and will they give me any news? In general, they are so dam patronising. The last time I went the guy said how intelligent I was. Yep, and what about my eyes? I have honestly lost count on just how many Doctors have told me I’m intelligent. Not of course talking in the early days when they tried to convince my Mum I was sighted, just had learning problems and that is why I was tripping up and so on. But all sorts of Doctors as well as GP’s. what has that got to do with my eyes, hysterectomy or hernia? Smile. It’s as if they are shocked that I’m blind and have a brain.
Also, last time I was at the eye hospital, I had to have a flipping blood test and it was a Biggy too as they wanted loads of blood to use for trials and so on. Surely, they won’t need that this time? It’s the same blood… It’s so far from where we live I feel bad my friend has to drive all that way, but I will give her money for petrol of course, I just think her days would be spent better off not having to do this for me. That is my trouble, I hate asking for help and I actually didn’t she learned I was going and offered. But I feel guilty, I can’t do anything for her. Like my friend today, she always drives us to lunch, I wish I could do that for her and I hope one day I will be able to. Let’s see what happens in a couple of weeks.
So back to wanting to sleep. I have felt anxious for a couple of days and I think my body is in some kind of shock. I’m not sure if I am ready for this huge project we have with our kitchen. My Hub won’t be getting involved at all and it will be up to me to organise everything. Tomorrow I will pick the kitchen, I am not even sure Hub will be coming with me as he said he just can’t cope with it all. He has a huge brain, can deal with projects in the work place and budgets and at one time in his life had hundreds of staff under him. No, he wasn’t squashing them, I mean he was in charge of their work choices but getting him to move furniture? He freaks out. I have done a huge extension in my life where I even drew out the plans for it though I had no sight, long story. That was massive, it involved a very large room at the back of the house, a shower room, study and bedroom upstairs. This is a kitchen. But because it’s been nineteen years since I had sight, I’m losing confidents in the sighted world.
I can’t even find a bloody dog collar let alone sort our kitchen out. Also, we have never had luck with workmen apart from our old electrician, new one and of course our joiner. But other electricians, builders and even the company who did our conservatory, have gone bankrupt. So, I guess it’s a lot and it hasn’t even started yet. Not really.
So, will I go to wrest my head and mind? Or will I dust and mop then make dinner? Hmm. Let’s see, but I bet what I end up doing won’t involve a bed.
Some good news though, the friend I was with today, I’m seeing her again in a couple of weeks, so that will be lovely. Later from a grumpy Fi. X
FI'S FAT DIARY CH 2 BY FIONA CUMMINGS
It’s been about three weeks since I started not eating bread as much. I have it about one day per week and today is my day. I start the week on a Sunday. Last week I had a Pizza. No toast, I can’t believe I have done without it and I’m never starving it’s amazing just how fast you can change, just getting over the pain of the first six days in my case… They were long days and worse nights. I truly felt as if my stomach was being cut.
So, how do I feel? Definitely better, lighter in my body, not as sluggish, but still I’m huge. There is so much of me. Hahaha. It’s my legs and hips that hurt. As for my knees? Well they have a lot of work to do. My circulation is still bad but not as bad I suppose because I’m moving about more. I just wish I had somewhere nice to walk each day and I wish for that so that would make me move and feel better. It’s not all about losing weight, good job as no chocolate, hardly any cake, I had one last week a homemade muffin my friend brought me. No crisps, I have eaten rice crackers to help with cottage cheese. I have eaten nuts too, though they are fattening, they are also good for you full of vitamin K. This is what I need being a vegetarian. And not loads of them either, I buy a medium size bag each week and my Husband has a quarter of them.
How much weight have I lost? In total 2 and a half lbs. how much to go? I don’t even want to say, I want to go as far as my health is how it should be.
When I have cups of tea/coffee, I need to eat. So, my intake of that has less than halved too. I used to have about five cups of tea per day and perhaps one coffee. Now, two cups of tea. The bad thing is, I’m not replacing it with water, but our water is vile. And our weather hasn’t made it possible yet to feel cold liquid. I admire those who can drink water like fish. Hmm. There’s a thought, I wonder how much water fish drink per day? Well, now I have brought the subject up, I have to look it up on good old Google.
Only saltwater fish drink. In freshwater, the inside of the fish is "saltier" than the surrounding environment. Water moves into the fish by osmosis, passively, through the gills and the skin and the stomach. Fish have to eliminate all this excess water by peeing dilute urine
And on that note, I shall go to the loo, before I go for my treat, lunch with my friend. I always say to make you feel better you need to laugh and my friend and I do laugh. So, on my return, the thought of not having much for dinner tonight, won’t be so daunting. If you are still with me in a healthy future, one day at a time, well done, if not, give it a go, just don’t look at the big picture, take each hour as another hour of your personal success. Oh, and though I haven’t lost loads of weight, not even a lb per week, I have lost, and by now I would have gained I think about 2lb, so if you add that onto what I have lost, then in three weeks I have lost 4 and a half lbs. And, in measurements, nothing from anywhere, apart from my stomach and two inches off there.
Yours truly
Ever so slightly fitter Fi
So, how do I feel? Definitely better, lighter in my body, not as sluggish, but still I’m huge. There is so much of me. Hahaha. It’s my legs and hips that hurt. As for my knees? Well they have a lot of work to do. My circulation is still bad but not as bad I suppose because I’m moving about more. I just wish I had somewhere nice to walk each day and I wish for that so that would make me move and feel better. It’s not all about losing weight, good job as no chocolate, hardly any cake, I had one last week a homemade muffin my friend brought me. No crisps, I have eaten rice crackers to help with cottage cheese. I have eaten nuts too, though they are fattening, they are also good for you full of vitamin K. This is what I need being a vegetarian. And not loads of them either, I buy a medium size bag each week and my Husband has a quarter of them.
How much weight have I lost? In total 2 and a half lbs. how much to go? I don’t even want to say, I want to go as far as my health is how it should be.
When I have cups of tea/coffee, I need to eat. So, my intake of that has less than halved too. I used to have about five cups of tea per day and perhaps one coffee. Now, two cups of tea. The bad thing is, I’m not replacing it with water, but our water is vile. And our weather hasn’t made it possible yet to feel cold liquid. I admire those who can drink water like fish. Hmm. There’s a thought, I wonder how much water fish drink per day? Well, now I have brought the subject up, I have to look it up on good old Google.
Only saltwater fish drink. In freshwater, the inside of the fish is "saltier" than the surrounding environment. Water moves into the fish by osmosis, passively, through the gills and the skin and the stomach. Fish have to eliminate all this excess water by peeing dilute urine
And on that note, I shall go to the loo, before I go for my treat, lunch with my friend. I always say to make you feel better you need to laugh and my friend and I do laugh. So, on my return, the thought of not having much for dinner tonight, won’t be so daunting. If you are still with me in a healthy future, one day at a time, well done, if not, give it a go, just don’t look at the big picture, take each hour as another hour of your personal success. Oh, and though I haven’t lost loads of weight, not even a lb per week, I have lost, and by now I would have gained I think about 2lb, so if you add that onto what I have lost, then in three weeks I have lost 4 and a half lbs. And, in measurements, nothing from anywhere, apart from my stomach and two inches off there.
Yours truly
Ever so slightly fitter Fi
Tuesday, 28 March 2017
NIGHT DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good evening Bloggets. Just had dinner. Four of us had a chat around the dinner table and now Boy Wonder has gone with Shamrock to take Waggatail for a walk. I pray he doesn’t let her in the river, as every time he takes her she heads that way and he seems to lack in control when it comes to not laughing in hysterics as Waggs gets wet and her normal walking becomes a wild chase after poor Sham. Last time was so funny, our boy said he couldn’t move for laughing as Waggatail ran after Shamrock as she weaved in and out to try to avoid the wagging one, only to fail as she caught her and shook her mud all over Sham. BW said it was like a magnet as Waggs was on a mission. The target was Shamrock. LF is at home with us, BW wanted to take him, but one thinks one can’t deal with cleaning two dogs especially as it’s almost dark, well it will be when they get home as it’s half six now. Although it makes no difference to us dark or not, what comes with the dark, comes the cold.
LF isn’t bothered he has his Kong with a treat he is busy wrestling on my rug. All the wood floor and like when they are sick, it has to be on a rug. So some kind of awful liver treat is kissing our rug with a wet substance from the Little Fella.
The family had tonight chicken pie, new potatoes with herbs, carrots and stuffed garlic mushrooms. I had salad. I left a third of it, I’m not doing well with salads right now, I have had about five days off them thinking all will be well now… Nope. Not. But I am full.
What is worth reporting in our news today?
Our new twelve-sided pound coin went into circulation today. I’m scared to get my hands on one because I fear it will be like child’s play money. I love our coin as it is heavy and quality, but they are easy to copy, but how much it will cost businesses to make the change, if you pardon the pun?
Palaeontologists in Australia have discovered the biggest dinosaur footprints, 1.7 metres long, long enough for an adult to lay down in. Imagine having feet that big? No fashionable shoes being bought by those dinosaur’s?
A 25-year-old has been misdiagnosed with his bowel cancer, eight times as constipation because Drs believed he was too young to have the disease
A man is outraged in the UK because he went to his very busy pub and a woman after drinking two large glasses of wine, started to breast feed her new born baby. In the middle of a busy pub. Disgusting, the baby will be as the man said drinking 14%
Pinot Grigio
Nighty night Bloggets. X
LF isn’t bothered he has his Kong with a treat he is busy wrestling on my rug. All the wood floor and like when they are sick, it has to be on a rug. So some kind of awful liver treat is kissing our rug with a wet substance from the Little Fella.
The family had tonight chicken pie, new potatoes with herbs, carrots and stuffed garlic mushrooms. I had salad. I left a third of it, I’m not doing well with salads right now, I have had about five days off them thinking all will be well now… Nope. Not. But I am full.
What is worth reporting in our news today?
Our new twelve-sided pound coin went into circulation today. I’m scared to get my hands on one because I fear it will be like child’s play money. I love our coin as it is heavy and quality, but they are easy to copy, but how much it will cost businesses to make the change, if you pardon the pun?
Palaeontologists in Australia have discovered the biggest dinosaur footprints, 1.7 metres long, long enough for an adult to lay down in. Imagine having feet that big? No fashionable shoes being bought by those dinosaur’s?
A 25-year-old has been misdiagnosed with his bowel cancer, eight times as constipation because Drs believed he was too young to have the disease
A man is outraged in the UK because he went to his very busy pub and a woman after drinking two large glasses of wine, started to breast feed her new born baby. In the middle of a busy pub. Disgusting, the baby will be as the man said drinking 14%
Pinot Grigio
Nighty night Bloggets. X
KITCHEN DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good afternoon Bloggets. It’s one pm and I have just sat down, nothing too exciting just the normal ironing and cooking. I made my Sons lunch but he just texts me to say he isn’t coming home for lunch because he is only working six hours today, he only gets 15 minutes’ break so obviously, it’s not worth him coming home. I’m sure he will eat it when he comes home before the gym.
Not sure if we tired our dogs out this weekend but Wagga is having another day in bed. I got her out before and played with her and her toys, then took her out to groom her and as soon as she came in, she went back to bed. The Little Fella was also sleepy yesterday and when he came home he didn’t want to play, it’s so funny, they go in the dog run to do their doggy doodles and he bluntly finishes before Waggs. Then he stands at the gate and waits for her. She won’t come out, well would you? He is ready to get her. To pounce on her, I mean, what is a lady supposed to do after she finishes the powder room? Be pounced on by a tall blond fella?
Well, may be in my younger days I would put up with such actions…. But our Waggs isn’t a fan of it all. So, I have to tell him to leave her alone, so he comes to me then she escapes and normally they then chase each other around the garden, but yesterday both of them just walked in the house. They played a bit at night late, about eleven before bed, Hub winds them up and gets them wild, just before bed….
It’s really funny as around that time, they come to him and just stand as if to say. “Come on Daddy, put the TV remote down and play rough with us.”” Oh, and he does, the noise is terrible. Eight scratchy paws on the wooden floor and LF barks so loudly. Then Hub takes them in the garden to pollute before bed and again they chase each other. The dogs, not Hub this time… The noise again is mad, I tell the three of them off as it’s late and people, normal people, are asleep by then. Hub thinks it’s really funny and gets them wild they sound like or LF sounds like a lion.
Again, last night, Waggs wasn’t really up for it all. When I have just been playing with her, she was happy and normal, but really odd how she just wants to sleep, mind you, this weekend it was hot and they worked as well as ran for an hour in the heat, drinking some after in between and there was a tall tree they chilled under for a while, but LF had a fit bark on last week. Have you heard of them? They are like a fit bit but for dogs. He covered 11 miles, so 17.7 kilometres! No wonder he is slim.
I want to touch wood and as there is none right now at hand, my head is feeling my fingers. Little Fella hasn’t had any more trouble with his shoulder, thank goodness. Let’s hope it continues.
I’m off to the eye hospital in a couple of weeks. I wish they would take it serious about my left eye. I have told you before, for five years, I had a lump under my eye. One day it burst. My boy said it had gone all yellow. I went to the GP, she didn’t know what it was and begins the trip to the hospital in our town. They didn’t know either, so the next trip was the hospital I’m off to in a couple of weeks. He was a specialist for my eye disease. Well, he may have been special, but he didn’t know what it was either. But rather than find out what it is, he just sent me home… But it is really starting to bother me now, so there is no lump there, no yellow, but it’s as if there is a finger in my eye all the time. Now I had my cataract done some years ago, and I am wondering if the lens has some fluid behind it, but they say no. But it is as if the lens has moved so really confused. All I know is I can’t see from that eye, but it is partly blurry and the other part of my eye is nothing there, so I’m seeing the bottom half of my eye as a blur and the top nothing. It’s where the blur was where my lump was and where it is sore. Answers on a post card please?
Project kitchen has started. My lovely joiner came out today, with a builder. Gosh there is so much to think about. The biggest thing so far will be who to go with, my new door into my kitchen is to be fitted by the company who did our front door at Christmas. They are great. And not at all expensive. But the quality is really good. The guy who comes out to see what I want is so nice and friendly not at all like a salesman. I managed to get a good deal for doing our knocking out of the wall and filling in another wall. The builder today said he couldn’t do it any cheaper. But he is going to quote and hopefully do the job of our ceiling. Oh my… It’s a talking point for sure. Apart from the obvious line in the wall where there used to be another room, and the very many cracks, there is the lighting, all done by the previous owners. We still get the D.I.Y books through our letterbox.
And do it yourself, he did. So, I’m going to get the ceiling boarded and plastered so it’s nice and smooth. The builder is great as he said he will paint it too. And I’m having spot lights. I think there may be a gap where we have no kitchen lighting… Well, Hub and I are Okay, as for our boy? Not sure he will think that is a wonderful idea.
We have a cooker hob but it doesn’t have a bulb. Haha Haha neither does our front hall, there are two bulbs missing there, a wall light and ceiling one, at least our outside bulb is working now. As for lighting, then we have the landing one. Oh, my day. When that is on, we need for no central heating. Seriously that light warms up the street. So, the bulbs we have in that are far too bright. There are five of them. Our landing is very large but the bulbs are too much. But getting to that shop, trying to describe what lights we need? In the olden days, it was so easy. 20, 40 or 60w. now? You need a degree in maths and some knowledge of science.
When we come out of Europe, will our lights go back to normal? Hmm. I somehow doubt it.
Our pound coin is changing soon, you won’t be able to use it, and I am sure they are changing the two pound too? I bet it will be made like Monopoly money and not nice heavy coins like we have now.
Oh, I felt so sad for poor little Shamrock, she’s Irish you know???? She bought her Mum a chrystal gift from their trip to Prague and it broke. From what I can gather, it wasn’t wrapped very well. Kids, if I had said make sure you carry it in your hand luggage, I would be accused of nagging, as I knew they were going to buy it.
Gosh when I think back the wonderful chrystal we used to bring back from Russia? Wow, it was so beautiful. And in the old days, again, a trip down memory lane today for sure, you could buy a stunning tall chrystal champagne glass for about £1, $1.26 US money or Canadian $? 1.68, EU1.15 or finally, Haha, 16 South African rand. So very cheap, right?
Then Perestroika came along and buy buy Russia and hello greed, more corruption and grass is greener syndrome.
Oops, did I say that?
Yep, I did, will Putin have me arrested?
On Thursday night after five we are going to look again at the kitchens. And we are going to sit at the computer with a man who can, well, that is what I have been told today, as I said that Hub and I can’t see, so would it be OK for him to talk rather than point? Hahaha, didn’t quite put it like that, but it was funny as the man said, oh I will get Jack, he’s quotes, more expert at dealing with these situations….
So, we are situations? Well, let’s see how things go, we can always walk out, smile.
My friend said today and we noticed when we were in the kitchen shop with Julie our friend, grey kitchens are in fashion… So, I don’t think I will go with grey, firstly, it’s a tiny kitchen. As I said, for a dolly. So, grey will make it appear darker, hence smaller. Also, cooking for sighted people, who may buy our house in the future, is a bit depressing don’t you think? Cooking can be a rather depressing experience, so why go for a pointless colour? I say pointless because grey is a no colour, one you would add to to bring it out, as far as grey can be brought out? Don’t get me wrong, in a living room I like it especially matched with reds or lemons, but not a kitchen. I also love grey clothing. But not a kitchen, secondly, if a colour is in fashion, surely it goes out of fashion? I want something that is modern but will always look modern. They talk about the shaker kitchens? Oh, I really don’t like them. They too are in fashion. I looked at them for the first-time last week and though they are solid wood, I think they look like something my Aunty Norah used to have attached to her parlour.
You watch, next update on our kitchen, I will tell you I am getting a grey shaker kitchen. Haha.
Okay, must go for now, but keep safe and positive. Some quotes before I go.
Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in everyone’s shoes, heal everyone’s heart, adore all Gods, preserve everyone’s dignity and speak humbly of yourself speak candidly so that you cannot be misunderstood and let every syllable treat those who need help.
Neale Donald Walch
Not sure if we tired our dogs out this weekend but Wagga is having another day in bed. I got her out before and played with her and her toys, then took her out to groom her and as soon as she came in, she went back to bed. The Little Fella was also sleepy yesterday and when he came home he didn’t want to play, it’s so funny, they go in the dog run to do their doggy doodles and he bluntly finishes before Waggs. Then he stands at the gate and waits for her. She won’t come out, well would you? He is ready to get her. To pounce on her, I mean, what is a lady supposed to do after she finishes the powder room? Be pounced on by a tall blond fella?
Well, may be in my younger days I would put up with such actions…. But our Waggs isn’t a fan of it all. So, I have to tell him to leave her alone, so he comes to me then she escapes and normally they then chase each other around the garden, but yesterday both of them just walked in the house. They played a bit at night late, about eleven before bed, Hub winds them up and gets them wild, just before bed….
It’s really funny as around that time, they come to him and just stand as if to say. “Come on Daddy, put the TV remote down and play rough with us.”” Oh, and he does, the noise is terrible. Eight scratchy paws on the wooden floor and LF barks so loudly. Then Hub takes them in the garden to pollute before bed and again they chase each other. The dogs, not Hub this time… The noise again is mad, I tell the three of them off as it’s late and people, normal people, are asleep by then. Hub thinks it’s really funny and gets them wild they sound like or LF sounds like a lion.
Again, last night, Waggs wasn’t really up for it all. When I have just been playing with her, she was happy and normal, but really odd how she just wants to sleep, mind you, this weekend it was hot and they worked as well as ran for an hour in the heat, drinking some after in between and there was a tall tree they chilled under for a while, but LF had a fit bark on last week. Have you heard of them? They are like a fit bit but for dogs. He covered 11 miles, so 17.7 kilometres! No wonder he is slim.
I want to touch wood and as there is none right now at hand, my head is feeling my fingers. Little Fella hasn’t had any more trouble with his shoulder, thank goodness. Let’s hope it continues.
I’m off to the eye hospital in a couple of weeks. I wish they would take it serious about my left eye. I have told you before, for five years, I had a lump under my eye. One day it burst. My boy said it had gone all yellow. I went to the GP, she didn’t know what it was and begins the trip to the hospital in our town. They didn’t know either, so the next trip was the hospital I’m off to in a couple of weeks. He was a specialist for my eye disease. Well, he may have been special, but he didn’t know what it was either. But rather than find out what it is, he just sent me home… But it is really starting to bother me now, so there is no lump there, no yellow, but it’s as if there is a finger in my eye all the time. Now I had my cataract done some years ago, and I am wondering if the lens has some fluid behind it, but they say no. But it is as if the lens has moved so really confused. All I know is I can’t see from that eye, but it is partly blurry and the other part of my eye is nothing there, so I’m seeing the bottom half of my eye as a blur and the top nothing. It’s where the blur was where my lump was and where it is sore. Answers on a post card please?
Project kitchen has started. My lovely joiner came out today, with a builder. Gosh there is so much to think about. The biggest thing so far will be who to go with, my new door into my kitchen is to be fitted by the company who did our front door at Christmas. They are great. And not at all expensive. But the quality is really good. The guy who comes out to see what I want is so nice and friendly not at all like a salesman. I managed to get a good deal for doing our knocking out of the wall and filling in another wall. The builder today said he couldn’t do it any cheaper. But he is going to quote and hopefully do the job of our ceiling. Oh my… It’s a talking point for sure. Apart from the obvious line in the wall where there used to be another room, and the very many cracks, there is the lighting, all done by the previous owners. We still get the D.I.Y books through our letterbox.
And do it yourself, he did. So, I’m going to get the ceiling boarded and plastered so it’s nice and smooth. The builder is great as he said he will paint it too. And I’m having spot lights. I think there may be a gap where we have no kitchen lighting… Well, Hub and I are Okay, as for our boy? Not sure he will think that is a wonderful idea.
We have a cooker hob but it doesn’t have a bulb. Haha Haha neither does our front hall, there are two bulbs missing there, a wall light and ceiling one, at least our outside bulb is working now. As for lighting, then we have the landing one. Oh, my day. When that is on, we need for no central heating. Seriously that light warms up the street. So, the bulbs we have in that are far too bright. There are five of them. Our landing is very large but the bulbs are too much. But getting to that shop, trying to describe what lights we need? In the olden days, it was so easy. 20, 40 or 60w. now? You need a degree in maths and some knowledge of science.
When we come out of Europe, will our lights go back to normal? Hmm. I somehow doubt it.
Our pound coin is changing soon, you won’t be able to use it, and I am sure they are changing the two pound too? I bet it will be made like Monopoly money and not nice heavy coins like we have now.
Oh, I felt so sad for poor little Shamrock, she’s Irish you know???? She bought her Mum a chrystal gift from their trip to Prague and it broke. From what I can gather, it wasn’t wrapped very well. Kids, if I had said make sure you carry it in your hand luggage, I would be accused of nagging, as I knew they were going to buy it.
Gosh when I think back the wonderful chrystal we used to bring back from Russia? Wow, it was so beautiful. And in the old days, again, a trip down memory lane today for sure, you could buy a stunning tall chrystal champagne glass for about £1, $1.26 US money or Canadian $? 1.68, EU1.15 or finally, Haha, 16 South African rand. So very cheap, right?
Then Perestroika came along and buy buy Russia and hello greed, more corruption and grass is greener syndrome.
Oops, did I say that?
Yep, I did, will Putin have me arrested?
On Thursday night after five we are going to look again at the kitchens. And we are going to sit at the computer with a man who can, well, that is what I have been told today, as I said that Hub and I can’t see, so would it be OK for him to talk rather than point? Hahaha, didn’t quite put it like that, but it was funny as the man said, oh I will get Jack, he’s quotes, more expert at dealing with these situations….
So, we are situations? Well, let’s see how things go, we can always walk out, smile.
My friend said today and we noticed when we were in the kitchen shop with Julie our friend, grey kitchens are in fashion… So, I don’t think I will go with grey, firstly, it’s a tiny kitchen. As I said, for a dolly. So, grey will make it appear darker, hence smaller. Also, cooking for sighted people, who may buy our house in the future, is a bit depressing don’t you think? Cooking can be a rather depressing experience, so why go for a pointless colour? I say pointless because grey is a no colour, one you would add to to bring it out, as far as grey can be brought out? Don’t get me wrong, in a living room I like it especially matched with reds or lemons, but not a kitchen. I also love grey clothing. But not a kitchen, secondly, if a colour is in fashion, surely it goes out of fashion? I want something that is modern but will always look modern. They talk about the shaker kitchens? Oh, I really don’t like them. They too are in fashion. I looked at them for the first-time last week and though they are solid wood, I think they look like something my Aunty Norah used to have attached to her parlour.
You watch, next update on our kitchen, I will tell you I am getting a grey shaker kitchen. Haha.
Okay, must go for now, but keep safe and positive. Some quotes before I go.
Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in everyone’s shoes, heal everyone’s heart, adore all Gods, preserve everyone’s dignity and speak humbly of yourself speak candidly so that you cannot be misunderstood and let every syllable treat those who need help.
Neale Donald Walch
Monday, 27 March 2017
I WANT BY FIONA CUMMINGS
I WANT
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
I want to run, among the bluebells under the sun
Tiptoe through the tulips in the open fields
Dance among the hills, of yellow daffodils
Go to fancy restaurants and eat the best meals
Ski down the slopes of alpine pathways
Experience wonderful holidays
Feel the sea air, as I speed along the tides on a boat
Salt in my hair, so warm though no need for a coat
I want to see through the windows of my soul
Feel the heat from the coal
Amber flames from the fire
Keep me warm from the cold
I want to inspire
Feel the emotion of desire
To be admired
To cure the world of darkness
Remove the pain of madness
I want to see
Just like those who can
Feel free
To be able to do what I want
Not hear words I can’t
Is it a dream or reality?
Just to have some quality
I want to cure all poverty
And to teach ability
I want no one to feel alone
For there always to be someone on the phone
A friendly hand to hold
I want sunshine’s of smiles all around
World peace and to feel safe in a crowd
I want to end all cruelty to animals please?
If I have to ask on bended knees
I will, because I want
Just right now I’m in a line
Waiting to climb the hill to be given the plant
No more I will say I can’t
The seeds are being sewn
The genes are being grown
I have hope
I will find a rope
And pull you up like a garden with that one single buttercup
A lonely daisy will find another
Then another to make a chain
And once again
We will dance among the flowers
Sing in the rain showers
See the silver droplets fall
And there will be no need for me to call
I would never fall
Because what I want
I got, so
Better than playing the lotto
© Fiona Cummings
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
I want to run, among the bluebells under the sun
Tiptoe through the tulips in the open fields
Dance among the hills, of yellow daffodils
Go to fancy restaurants and eat the best meals
Ski down the slopes of alpine pathways
Experience wonderful holidays
Feel the sea air, as I speed along the tides on a boat
Salt in my hair, so warm though no need for a coat
I want to see through the windows of my soul
Feel the heat from the coal
Amber flames from the fire
Keep me warm from the cold
I want to inspire
Feel the emotion of desire
To be admired
To cure the world of darkness
Remove the pain of madness
I want to see
Just like those who can
Feel free
To be able to do what I want
Not hear words I can’t
Is it a dream or reality?
Just to have some quality
I want to cure all poverty
And to teach ability
I want no one to feel alone
For there always to be someone on the phone
A friendly hand to hold
I want sunshine’s of smiles all around
World peace and to feel safe in a crowd
I want to end all cruelty to animals please?
If I have to ask on bended knees
I will, because I want
Just right now I’m in a line
Waiting to climb the hill to be given the plant
No more I will say I can’t
The seeds are being sewn
The genes are being grown
I have hope
I will find a rope
And pull you up like a garden with that one single buttercup
A lonely daisy will find another
Then another to make a chain
And once again
We will dance among the flowers
Sing in the rain showers
See the silver droplets fall
And there will be no need for me to call
I would never fall
Because what I want
I got, so
Better than playing the lotto
© Fiona Cummings
DIARY OF THE DAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Yesterday was a lovely day, we had a nice time sitting chatting to our neighbours. We arranged a meal out and ate my friend’s homemade cakes. One… hahaha. One blueberry muffin. Considering I thought I would stress eat with Boy Wonder being away, I didn’t I just didn’t eat salads, but apart from the naughty pizza I had on Friday, or was it Saturday? I didn’t eat bread all weekend. Or crisps and yesterday’s easy dinner, I made baked potatoes. Hub had chees on his but I had butter, again, bad, but at one time, I could eat two baked potatoes. Yesterday, three quarters of one. And what I have found too, I didn’t enjoy it. Really strange. When people say life changing eating, I used to think why would anyone want to change their life to eating only awful food and giving up food you love? But from my view now, it’s as if my taste buds have changed which is great, not losing loads of weight, but feel so much better, less sluggish, much more energy and feel positive that though very slowly, I will lose weight. Now I may be sitting here in a month saying I have fallen off the waggon, but I feel sure that I will still be driving that truck and safely towards a longer life. I hope.
Boy Wonder came in last night all happy, but because he said he wasn’t coming straight home, he was going to Shamrocks first, I didn’t wait up. I thought it was a bit silly as he had work at six this morning, but can’t tell him anything.
He actually came home at half twelve. And up at half five. So not as bad as I thought. Hub was sad he wanted to see him as he has missed him. At least he had a great time in Prague.
I dropped my lap top yesterday on the floor tiles. Thank goodness, it’s still working, whether there is a screen, not sure will have to ask our boy. But sadly, the corner is chipped off. So, it’s really sharp. I felt so bad as Hub bought it for me only just over a year ago, and it cost a fortune. I must take more care.
Reading some fashion articles today, well, you know, one has to keep up to date? Hahaha. It’s written that embellished heals are the way to go for us girls… also pale coloured handbags and statement earrings.
Well I can do the hand bags, though I don’t have a canary yellow one. My peach/nude Ted Baker bag is as close as I will get to being in fashion… Statement earrings? In the eighties, yes, not now, I don’t think they look good on someone huge, in their forties with long hair… thirties spelt
thin and short hair, yes. Heals? What are they? Not when you walk like a new born foal. Gosh to think I used to walk the cat walk smile. The closest as I will get to that now is to trip over the cat.
My little Wagga is so very quiet today, she is in her bed and has been all morning. I will wake her up soon and take her out for some fresh air, sorry, some air. There is no such thing as fresh air around here.
Later I have a man coming and I will talk to him about knocking a wall out… Oh yes, let the start of the blind designer begin.
Boy Wonder came in last night all happy, but because he said he wasn’t coming straight home, he was going to Shamrocks first, I didn’t wait up. I thought it was a bit silly as he had work at six this morning, but can’t tell him anything.
He actually came home at half twelve. And up at half five. So not as bad as I thought. Hub was sad he wanted to see him as he has missed him. At least he had a great time in Prague.
I dropped my lap top yesterday on the floor tiles. Thank goodness, it’s still working, whether there is a screen, not sure will have to ask our boy. But sadly, the corner is chipped off. So, it’s really sharp. I felt so bad as Hub bought it for me only just over a year ago, and it cost a fortune. I must take more care.
Reading some fashion articles today, well, you know, one has to keep up to date? Hahaha. It’s written that embellished heals are the way to go for us girls… also pale coloured handbags and statement earrings.
Well I can do the hand bags, though I don’t have a canary yellow one. My peach/nude Ted Baker bag is as close as I will get to being in fashion… Statement earrings? In the eighties, yes, not now, I don’t think they look good on someone huge, in their forties with long hair… thirties spelt
thin and short hair, yes. Heals? What are they? Not when you walk like a new born foal. Gosh to think I used to walk the cat walk smile. The closest as I will get to that now is to trip over the cat.
My little Wagga is so very quiet today, she is in her bed and has been all morning. I will wake her up soon and take her out for some fresh air, sorry, some air. There is no such thing as fresh air around here.
Later I have a man coming and I will talk to him about knocking a wall out… Oh yes, let the start of the blind designer begin.
Sunday, 26 March 2017
MOTHER'S DAY DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good Morning Bloggets. Gosh, actually afternoon. No more sleeps before my baby is home. Sounds as if they have had a great break away! Shamrock said last night her feet were killing her. Hahaha. Bless her, Boy Wonder will have her walked off her little leggies. He is strong and fit and can walk for miles he loves it. Whereas for Sham, she would rather taxi, and who can blame her? At least they have done some culture though. They have visited the tower and the Astronomical clock, and walked over the Charles bridge as well as seen all of the beautiful churches and went to an art gallery and yesterday went to an ice bar as well as a jazz bar in the evening.
The restaurants in Prague sound spectacular almost like the Georgian ones I went to in Russia. In cellars with beautiful walls and chrystal chandeliers whilst listening to folk music you can enjoy the traditional food, though for a vegetarian, not sure I would be eating much… It’s very meat oriented.
By the time, he gets home he has work so will only have five hours’ sleep. I think he will be tired. I have ventured into his bedroom and stripped his bed, something he always does himself, but want him to come home to clean bed and towels.
It’s beautiful out there, Hub is working on a file that needs to be written, he is outside in our front garden. Oh my… We just went around the side of the house, it’s been asleep for the winter.
We thought.
Oh, no such thing, actually wide awake growing all sorts out there. Things I have never even seen. Never mind going to Mars to see what’s up there, just come to our side garden.
The shrub that was shaped into a ball now looks like a five-foot hedge and it has leaves sprouting from every direction and we have a six feet conifer that was meant to be dug out a couple of years ago, Hmm. It seriously needs coming out now but I think we have an answer, I will know more next week. That is a blog on its own. I just hope I remember to tell you, my memory is getting worse. Seriously I just hope it’s something like the menopause because I can go into a room for something and forget what I was looking for as I walk through the door.
Our apple tree that was transplanted last year has been a great success. Thanks to the guy who did the job it now has buds on it and loads of them. I need a wind chime for it, not a popular decision in our house. A visitor to our guest room, wasn’t, isn’t, impressed in the sounds they make in the back. She said the chimes remind her of a horror movie. I love them, but I must say when you are trying to sleep, I guess they would be a bit of an issue.
But I only have one in my front garden and the apple tree is crying out for one just a small one… where as the ones in the back garden are like Saint Pauls Cathedral.
I’m so hungry my lovely joiner was telling me he was going to have a Sunday lunch, oh wow, I could just eat one of those. I’m not eating potatoes, if I do it’s once a week, same with bread just once, I’m doing well on the tiny rice crackers they are better than the huge sponge like ones these are more like crunchy crackers. I have ran out of cottage cheese. That really kept me going. We haven’t done well at the treadmill as we were going to start this weekend. Oops. Well, Hub and I have had a lovely weekend and we have a heck of a lot of work to do over the next few weeks/months. So, we were sorting that out, but time has flown thankfully.
Some great news, I think I have someone to come to the hospital with me. I’m hoping my lovely friend will be able to as she offered yesterday, she hates driving that far though. But she will be the perfect person to come with me. She’s funny though as she won’t use a sat nav only pen and paper directions how to get there. I will be so grateful to her as to go to hospital on my own, I hate it. I feel so alone as everyone else is with family. Also, the stress of getting there would be a nightmare.
Right must dash as I’m being shouted for. What have I done now? Haha. Before I go, it’s Mother’s Day in the UK so to all good Mums out there, have a good one. Xxx
The restaurants in Prague sound spectacular almost like the Georgian ones I went to in Russia. In cellars with beautiful walls and chrystal chandeliers whilst listening to folk music you can enjoy the traditional food, though for a vegetarian, not sure I would be eating much… It’s very meat oriented.
By the time, he gets home he has work so will only have five hours’ sleep. I think he will be tired. I have ventured into his bedroom and stripped his bed, something he always does himself, but want him to come home to clean bed and towels.
It’s beautiful out there, Hub is working on a file that needs to be written, he is outside in our front garden. Oh my… We just went around the side of the house, it’s been asleep for the winter.
We thought.
Oh, no such thing, actually wide awake growing all sorts out there. Things I have never even seen. Never mind going to Mars to see what’s up there, just come to our side garden.
The shrub that was shaped into a ball now looks like a five-foot hedge and it has leaves sprouting from every direction and we have a six feet conifer that was meant to be dug out a couple of years ago, Hmm. It seriously needs coming out now but I think we have an answer, I will know more next week. That is a blog on its own. I just hope I remember to tell you, my memory is getting worse. Seriously I just hope it’s something like the menopause because I can go into a room for something and forget what I was looking for as I walk through the door.
Our apple tree that was transplanted last year has been a great success. Thanks to the guy who did the job it now has buds on it and loads of them. I need a wind chime for it, not a popular decision in our house. A visitor to our guest room, wasn’t, isn’t, impressed in the sounds they make in the back. She said the chimes remind her of a horror movie. I love them, but I must say when you are trying to sleep, I guess they would be a bit of an issue.
But I only have one in my front garden and the apple tree is crying out for one just a small one… where as the ones in the back garden are like Saint Pauls Cathedral.
I’m so hungry my lovely joiner was telling me he was going to have a Sunday lunch, oh wow, I could just eat one of those. I’m not eating potatoes, if I do it’s once a week, same with bread just once, I’m doing well on the tiny rice crackers they are better than the huge sponge like ones these are more like crunchy crackers. I have ran out of cottage cheese. That really kept me going. We haven’t done well at the treadmill as we were going to start this weekend. Oops. Well, Hub and I have had a lovely weekend and we have a heck of a lot of work to do over the next few weeks/months. So, we were sorting that out, but time has flown thankfully.
Some great news, I think I have someone to come to the hospital with me. I’m hoping my lovely friend will be able to as she offered yesterday, she hates driving that far though. But she will be the perfect person to come with me. She’s funny though as she won’t use a sat nav only pen and paper directions how to get there. I will be so grateful to her as to go to hospital on my own, I hate it. I feel so alone as everyone else is with family. Also, the stress of getting there would be a nightmare.
Right must dash as I’m being shouted for. What have I done now? Haha. Before I go, it’s Mother’s Day in the UK so to all good Mums out there, have a good one. Xxx
Friday, 24 March 2017
A FULL DIARY AND THE JOINER BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good evening Bloggets. Here we are it’s really freezing outside and guess what? Our heating is not working. Again. It’s great when it works, but when the hub goes down, it doesn’t work.
Of course, tomorrow we will call them and they will ask us over the phone what lights are working? Are the lights red green? How the heck will we answer that
My, Hub has been off work today to keep me company whilst Boy Wonder is abroad. He did get in contact yesterday at four thirty. He was due to land at half ten and said he would let me know when he hit touch down… So, you can imagine what I was like by 4.30?
They are having a great time, I received a lovely text from Shamrock earlier and they have seen the beautiful sights and are really enjoying themselves.
An exciting day, we have had someone out to look at our old horrid kitchen and we are planning on a new one. That will be an interesting time when we have to plan it out on a computer screen with someone in store. They are a great company though and I learned today that when you have designed your kitchen, they will wheel the units and position them into how your kitchen will look, so for us that will be great. We are limited to do what we would like though because of our kitchen. It’s for a dolly. I have been in our dining room today and moved the furniture around. Gosh, what a time? Three big plants, two coffee tables, one large dining table and chairs, a hostess trolley and a sofa, oh, and a wine rack hahaha. Cleaned the windows too, there are loads in there.
Hub isn’t at all happy I have moved the furniture, he hates it, but I like to clean behind things and I get bored with the furniture being in the same place, which is odd seeing I can’t see right? In my head, I feel I still can and my imagination is great. Hub is lucky that there isn’t much we can do with our lounge, so that stays the same.
I have had horrid eye pain all day. Talking of eyes, I have my appointment in a couple of weeks with the eye hospital. I’m not sure how I will get there yet, it’s miles away. Remember last year I had a nightmare. They will insist in sending letters in print, we were on holiday when they sent an appointment out to me by the time we got our letter read, I had missed it by two days. The second time, my neighbour said she could take me but sadly last minute she had something else to do so I didn’t have time to rearrange and they were cross with me at the hospital. They said if I missed another, they would put me way back on the waiting list and I would have to be remitted by my GP. Well I have that appointment, but sadly it’s not with the top guy who saw me the last and first time I have been to this hospital. That is sad as the others don’t have a clue, they are like glorified secretaries.
I have as always loads of questions. Mainly, how can I get put on some kind of program? For trials. And, in their opinion, how long before they think there will be any kind of help for us? Now if they answer that, I will be surprised, but will ask.
Next week is a busy one for me, Monday I have an appointment at three with a door man…. Tuesday another appointment with someone who wants me to do some work for them. Wednesday out with my fab friend Thursday free and Friday a man is coming out to see me. More on that next week. I’m dreading his visit though.
Tomorrow Hub and I are out in the morning back quick to have our dogs have some fun on the field and Sunday our lovely joiner is coming. He’s a great guy it’s so good to have someone who we can trust when it comes to tradesmen. His work is stunning too. He’s one of the few genuine guys left.
Oh, talking of genuine guys, heck, last night hub and I watched a TV program about Mormons. Oh my… The guys were creepy. The ladies were as if on drugs. The children were just not normal. One I did worry about as he/she not sure what, told their Daddy to go away as the pregnant Mother cried because he the father Husband was dating another girl hoping to marry. The two men featured had three wives each.
It’s sick. And how come is it OK to have more than one wife but the ladies have to have one Husband?
I got the impression that there was a lot of brainwashing going on from the Husbands to the wives and kids. How can you be in love with more than one person at a time? How can the wives be happy knowing that their Husbands were sleeping with other women?
Well, as for my eating? I have done well today though I ordered a Pizza for dinner. I ate half though and ate the half at four so only having fruit before supper. I will eat the other half tomorrow before we go out so I work it off. Then I think we are heading to our gym nothing lavish, it’s in our garage. Haha. We can say there is air conditioning in there… It’s pigging freezing.
I was happy with the lady in my bathroom scales today, she told me I was three quarters of a lb less. So, two lbs off this week. So far to go but I’m going in the right direction, and it’s not hurting me now. I’m over the nasty stage. I never wake up starving any more I feel better in myself, it’s stupid, only 2lbs but I think it’s because I’m not eating bread so it’s not sitting in my stomach. I had some jeans on yesterday that I will take out of my robe every couple of weeks, as yesterday I was like one of those ladies on stage, you know, the ones with the magician? Where they are sawn in half? Oh my, it hurt. And I remember when I had to wear a belt with them.
Hub has told me he has ordered me a gift from Ammazon. It’s coming tomorrow, he has just ordered it and it’s eleven in the evening. Amazon Prime is great.
What is it?
I don’t know, I will let you know tomorrow. He’s a darling.
I feel for America’s President Trump. He is getting bullied everything he is trying to do he is getting blocked. It’s so bad. They are making him look a fool. I do feel bad for him. It’s really like they are ganging up on him. I must say, I really like our Prime Minister. She is a strong leader. People keep referring her to Thatcher. Oh no, there is no one like that monster. Mrs May is a lady who listens and has a heart. She puts up with no nonsense. Thatcher didn’t have a heart she didn’t listen and she spoke a lot of nonsense.
Well, I shall go for now going in the bath and using the bath bombs my baby bought me for my birthday, I love them, they are the ones from Lush. They are the best kind.
Have a lovely weekend Bloggets. Xx
Of course, tomorrow we will call them and they will ask us over the phone what lights are working? Are the lights red green? How the heck will we answer that
My, Hub has been off work today to keep me company whilst Boy Wonder is abroad. He did get in contact yesterday at four thirty. He was due to land at half ten and said he would let me know when he hit touch down… So, you can imagine what I was like by 4.30?
They are having a great time, I received a lovely text from Shamrock earlier and they have seen the beautiful sights and are really enjoying themselves.
An exciting day, we have had someone out to look at our old horrid kitchen and we are planning on a new one. That will be an interesting time when we have to plan it out on a computer screen with someone in store. They are a great company though and I learned today that when you have designed your kitchen, they will wheel the units and position them into how your kitchen will look, so for us that will be great. We are limited to do what we would like though because of our kitchen. It’s for a dolly. I have been in our dining room today and moved the furniture around. Gosh, what a time? Three big plants, two coffee tables, one large dining table and chairs, a hostess trolley and a sofa, oh, and a wine rack hahaha. Cleaned the windows too, there are loads in there.
Hub isn’t at all happy I have moved the furniture, he hates it, but I like to clean behind things and I get bored with the furniture being in the same place, which is odd seeing I can’t see right? In my head, I feel I still can and my imagination is great. Hub is lucky that there isn’t much we can do with our lounge, so that stays the same.
I have had horrid eye pain all day. Talking of eyes, I have my appointment in a couple of weeks with the eye hospital. I’m not sure how I will get there yet, it’s miles away. Remember last year I had a nightmare. They will insist in sending letters in print, we were on holiday when they sent an appointment out to me by the time we got our letter read, I had missed it by two days. The second time, my neighbour said she could take me but sadly last minute she had something else to do so I didn’t have time to rearrange and they were cross with me at the hospital. They said if I missed another, they would put me way back on the waiting list and I would have to be remitted by my GP. Well I have that appointment, but sadly it’s not with the top guy who saw me the last and first time I have been to this hospital. That is sad as the others don’t have a clue, they are like glorified secretaries.
I have as always loads of questions. Mainly, how can I get put on some kind of program? For trials. And, in their opinion, how long before they think there will be any kind of help for us? Now if they answer that, I will be surprised, but will ask.
Next week is a busy one for me, Monday I have an appointment at three with a door man…. Tuesday another appointment with someone who wants me to do some work for them. Wednesday out with my fab friend Thursday free and Friday a man is coming out to see me. More on that next week. I’m dreading his visit though.
Tomorrow Hub and I are out in the morning back quick to have our dogs have some fun on the field and Sunday our lovely joiner is coming. He’s a great guy it’s so good to have someone who we can trust when it comes to tradesmen. His work is stunning too. He’s one of the few genuine guys left.
Oh, talking of genuine guys, heck, last night hub and I watched a TV program about Mormons. Oh my… The guys were creepy. The ladies were as if on drugs. The children were just not normal. One I did worry about as he/she not sure what, told their Daddy to go away as the pregnant Mother cried because he the father Husband was dating another girl hoping to marry. The two men featured had three wives each.
It’s sick. And how come is it OK to have more than one wife but the ladies have to have one Husband?
I got the impression that there was a lot of brainwashing going on from the Husbands to the wives and kids. How can you be in love with more than one person at a time? How can the wives be happy knowing that their Husbands were sleeping with other women?
Well, as for my eating? I have done well today though I ordered a Pizza for dinner. I ate half though and ate the half at four so only having fruit before supper. I will eat the other half tomorrow before we go out so I work it off. Then I think we are heading to our gym nothing lavish, it’s in our garage. Haha. We can say there is air conditioning in there… It’s pigging freezing.
I was happy with the lady in my bathroom scales today, she told me I was three quarters of a lb less. So, two lbs off this week. So far to go but I’m going in the right direction, and it’s not hurting me now. I’m over the nasty stage. I never wake up starving any more I feel better in myself, it’s stupid, only 2lbs but I think it’s because I’m not eating bread so it’s not sitting in my stomach. I had some jeans on yesterday that I will take out of my robe every couple of weeks, as yesterday I was like one of those ladies on stage, you know, the ones with the magician? Where they are sawn in half? Oh my, it hurt. And I remember when I had to wear a belt with them.
Hub has told me he has ordered me a gift from Ammazon. It’s coming tomorrow, he has just ordered it and it’s eleven in the evening. Amazon Prime is great.
What is it?
I don’t know, I will let you know tomorrow. He’s a darling.
I feel for America’s President Trump. He is getting bullied everything he is trying to do he is getting blocked. It’s so bad. They are making him look a fool. I do feel bad for him. It’s really like they are ganging up on him. I must say, I really like our Prime Minister. She is a strong leader. People keep referring her to Thatcher. Oh no, there is no one like that monster. Mrs May is a lady who listens and has a heart. She puts up with no nonsense. Thatcher didn’t have a heart she didn’t listen and she spoke a lot of nonsense.
Well, I shall go for now going in the bath and using the bath bombs my baby bought me for my birthday, I love them, they are the ones from Lush. They are the best kind.
Have a lovely weekend Bloggets. Xx
Thursday, 23 March 2017
A WORRIED MOTHER BY FIONA CUMMINGS
A WORRIED MOTHER
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
All sorts of thoughts have crossed my mind
Especially these days when others are so unkind
He said he would let me know as soon as he arrived
But sadly, that luxury I have been deprived
What do I do?
Who do I contact?
They look at you
As though you have gone mad
What if something has happened?
Something so bad
He wouldn’t do this
He knows how I worry
He left so calmly
Not in a hurry
I just have to wait for the doorbell to ring
That is how I feel, I’m going insane
© Fiona Cummings
I don’t know how Mothers cope if their kids don’t return.
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
All sorts of thoughts have crossed my mind
Especially these days when others are so unkind
He said he would let me know as soon as he arrived
But sadly, that luxury I have been deprived
What do I do?
Who do I contact?
They look at you
As though you have gone mad
What if something has happened?
Something so bad
He wouldn’t do this
He knows how I worry
He left so calmly
Not in a hurry
I just have to wait for the doorbell to ring
That is how I feel, I’m going insane
© Fiona Cummings
I don’t know how Mothers cope if their kids don’t return.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Happy Mother’s Day
By Fiona Cummings
You gave me life, and taught me all I know
Tried to keep me out of strife, and watched me grow
You kissed my cheek, when I felt weak
Picked me up, when I fell down
Kept my feet, firmly on the ground
You showed me life, good and bad
Made me laugh, when I felt sad
I’m so grateful, for what I had
Growing up, when times were tough
You taught me kindness, when I felt rough
You gave me back, my sanity
When all around me, was crazy
You fed me peaches, in the rain
And chocolates in the snow
Even now I taste your home cooking
Wherever I go
Warm cakes from the oven
Little buns, a dozen
Plates of scones and pies
You’re the best, you’re a darling
My words to you, I won’t hide
I want the world to know for you my love will never go away
Wishing you a Happy Mothers Day
© Fiona Cummings
By Fiona Cummings
You gave me life, and taught me all I know
Tried to keep me out of strife, and watched me grow
You kissed my cheek, when I felt weak
Picked me up, when I fell down
Kept my feet, firmly on the ground
You showed me life, good and bad
Made me laugh, when I felt sad
I’m so grateful, for what I had
Growing up, when times were tough
You taught me kindness, when I felt rough
You gave me back, my sanity
When all around me, was crazy
You fed me peaches, in the rain
And chocolates in the snow
Even now I taste your home cooking
Wherever I go
Warm cakes from the oven
Little buns, a dozen
Plates of scones and pies
You’re the best, you’re a darling
My words to you, I won’t hide
I want the world to know for you my love will never go away
Wishing you a Happy Mothers Day
© Fiona Cummings
A LETTER TO MUM BY FIONA CUMMINGS
A LETTER TO MUM
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
I wish I could send you a card dear Mum
Take you out do something fun
I wish I could hand you flowers
If only I had a few hours
Just to hold your hand and say goodbye properly
But you were taken from me too early
I didn’t get a chance to say
Thank you for all you did for me
Stepped in to be my Mum when I was sent away
I didn’t tell you enough
I loved you so much
The feelings I felt all those years ago
When I learned, you had gone?
Still lingers on
Deep with in
And days like Mother’s Day remind me
That your face I will never see
I wish I could hear your laugh again
But it’s been replaced by pain
If you can read my letter
Dear Mum
Wherever you are I hope you feel better
I pray you are able to walk freely
Among beautiful petal’s
And may you never stumble upon life’s nettles
May you sleep at nights all comfy
And wake to the song of the birds
I often think Mum who feeds the birds now in your little garden?
May butterflies surround you
And your skies are forever blue
I just wanted to write a letter Mum
From me to you
To tell you I love you
As much today as the day you had to die
I wish you to have perfect wings to make you fly
With feathers, so soft
To wipe my tears dry
© Fiona Cummings March 2017
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
I wish I could send you a card dear Mum
Take you out do something fun
I wish I could hand you flowers
If only I had a few hours
Just to hold your hand and say goodbye properly
But you were taken from me too early
I didn’t get a chance to say
Thank you for all you did for me
Stepped in to be my Mum when I was sent away
I didn’t tell you enough
I loved you so much
The feelings I felt all those years ago
When I learned, you had gone?
Still lingers on
Deep with in
And days like Mother’s Day remind me
That your face I will never see
I wish I could hear your laugh again
But it’s been replaced by pain
If you can read my letter
Dear Mum
Wherever you are I hope you feel better
I pray you are able to walk freely
Among beautiful petal’s
And may you never stumble upon life’s nettles
May you sleep at nights all comfy
And wake to the song of the birds
I often think Mum who feeds the birds now in your little garden?
May butterflies surround you
And your skies are forever blue
I just wanted to write a letter Mum
From me to you
To tell you I love you
As much today as the day you had to die
I wish you to have perfect wings to make you fly
With feathers, so soft
To wipe my tears dry
© Fiona Cummings March 2017
DIARY OF THE DAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
It’s really odd that it’s after mid-day and I am not cooking for my Son. I feel weird, like I have forgotten something. Just like my Son has forgotten to tell me he has landed safely? He was due to land two and a half hours ago, and he said he would text as soon as he either landed or got to his hotel. Hmm. I’m not panicking just yet, I guess there will be extra surveillance in airports. Or perhaps he has got lost somewhere? I will give it another half hour before I start to really think something is wrong.
They left like mice in the night, very quietly but I did hear them. We said our bye byes before bed and now I’m left counting the hours. Hub is also anxious and says he too wishes he was back, but he is glad he is off having a lovely time. He works hard. Mind you, as does Shamrock.
Today it’s sunny and warm. Yesterday it rained all day and in some parts, it snowed. I think Sham took clothes for all seasons and all occasions. She also had three bags with her… For four days? Hahaha. I guess we were all young girls once!
Our PM and Police have been working all night with the despicable crime that occurred yesterday in London. Latest news says that four innocent people including the Policeman on guard at the time have lost their lives. Many more in hospital. Good news is that there have been arrests. An armed raid on a flat in Birmingham. Six addresses between there, and, in London. In total five arrests.
A car hire company from the West midlands admitted it was their car that was used for the attack which rand down pedestrians on West Minster bridge, before ramming the gates of the Houses of Parliament.
Our Prime Minister said the killer was known to MI5 and had been investigated some years ago, due to violent extremism.
Come on, for goodness sake, why is he still allowed to have walked the streets of England? I just don’t understand once they are found out to be linked in any way, remove them. What will it take before something is done to eliminate these monsters?
All I know is, children are without their parent now, and people are without their wife or husband. A Mother is without their child because of this act. I want world peace, as I am sure did the people who have been murdered.
To the normal life now, to keep myself busy I want to move some furniture. Hub says if I do, he will not come home…. Shall I risk it? He will go mad, but he will get over it… As for my nerves? Not sure how much more I can stand. Boy Wonders phone is off and he still hasn’t text and its now quarter to one. Since I started to write this blog, I have made a cup of tea and brought in our mail. Biting lip, nails, anything other than eating food. I shall have my noodles soon, and then the battle to stay away from anything bad for me. I think it’s going to be a challenge.
Yesterday for dinner I ate fruit. I had some dry rice cakes or crackers whatever you call them, for supper, you know the big round things that taste a bit like a bathroom sponge?
I just can’t sit here much longer, I will have to go and do something. Anything. Wherever you are, take care and be kind. Xx
They left like mice in the night, very quietly but I did hear them. We said our bye byes before bed and now I’m left counting the hours. Hub is also anxious and says he too wishes he was back, but he is glad he is off having a lovely time. He works hard. Mind you, as does Shamrock.
Today it’s sunny and warm. Yesterday it rained all day and in some parts, it snowed. I think Sham took clothes for all seasons and all occasions. She also had three bags with her… For four days? Hahaha. I guess we were all young girls once!
Our PM and Police have been working all night with the despicable crime that occurred yesterday in London. Latest news says that four innocent people including the Policeman on guard at the time have lost their lives. Many more in hospital. Good news is that there have been arrests. An armed raid on a flat in Birmingham. Six addresses between there, and, in London. In total five arrests.
A car hire company from the West midlands admitted it was their car that was used for the attack which rand down pedestrians on West Minster bridge, before ramming the gates of the Houses of Parliament.
Our Prime Minister said the killer was known to MI5 and had been investigated some years ago, due to violent extremism.
Come on, for goodness sake, why is he still allowed to have walked the streets of England? I just don’t understand once they are found out to be linked in any way, remove them. What will it take before something is done to eliminate these monsters?
All I know is, children are without their parent now, and people are without their wife or husband. A Mother is without their child because of this act. I want world peace, as I am sure did the people who have been murdered.
To the normal life now, to keep myself busy I want to move some furniture. Hub says if I do, he will not come home…. Shall I risk it? He will go mad, but he will get over it… As for my nerves? Not sure how much more I can stand. Boy Wonders phone is off and he still hasn’t text and its now quarter to one. Since I started to write this blog, I have made a cup of tea and brought in our mail. Biting lip, nails, anything other than eating food. I shall have my noodles soon, and then the battle to stay away from anything bad for me. I think it’s going to be a challenge.
Yesterday for dinner I ate fruit. I had some dry rice cakes or crackers whatever you call them, for supper, you know the big round things that taste a bit like a bathroom sponge?
I just can’t sit here much longer, I will have to go and do something. Anything. Wherever you are, take care and be kind. Xx
Wednesday, 22 March 2017
GOD BLESS LONDON BY FIONA CUMMINGS
After the dreadful day in London, my heart is hurting for the loss of the four people who have died. There may be more I hope not. Some poor children from France were treat for shock as of course understandably, they have seen things that no child or person to be honest should see and that is pure evil of terrorists in their own, country. They come to London for a school holiday and this travesty happens.
Oh, today I spent time on the phone trying to sort out life. Speaking to stupid people who shouldn’t be working in jobs where you need to communicate with the public. Seriously, either I can’t understand a word they say or they have the braincells of a mollusc!
I was asked which town I lived in, I told them, they then gave me the phone number for my local office. 55 miles away…. My local office is a mile away. When I got through, the incompetent woman, said. “I will give you a number to call. Are you phoning from a land line or mobile?”” I replied only mobile. She then gave me a number. And said that number will get you to your office if you are calling from a land line. I said. I’m not going to call from a landline, I will phone from a mobile phone. She said
Yes.
I said yes what? She continued. “you can only phone the number I gave you from a landline…” I continued.
“I don’t have a landline. I only have a mobile phone, so the number you have given me is no good to me, could I have the number from a mobile?””
She replied. Yes, dear I have given you it.”” So, I read the number back to her and said. So, this number, from a mobile, will I get through?
Oh, no dear, that number can’t be called from a mobile.
Me, so what is the number I can call from a mobile?
Stupid head lady started to give me the same number again. Oh, my God? So, I just said look, give me both numbers you have please? She did and all was well in the end. But seriously? There are intelligent people who are blind who cannot get a job and then there are people like her. Don’t even go there when it came to giving my address? And she had to keep going away. Why? By her reaction, I am guessing, for a drink.
And not of tea.
It’s late, I feel sick. My Son is going abroad and driving to the airport at half four in the morning. His girlfriend is staying here tonight until the early hours and then they will be leaving. Oh my, you should see how much stuff she has? She is like an excited kitten!
Poor Boy Wonder is so tired. He has been up since quarter to six this morning working he is due back at midnight on Sunday and due back at work six hours later.
Did I tell you he was offered another job? But again, turned it down, but today at work his job now, he was recognised by the area manager and awarded a badge and there is only one other who has such a badge even his boss doesn’t so bless him, he was so proud. His photograph has been put on their website but the awful thing is, the person who took the picture of him and the manager, is the same guy who is up against my boy for promotion and he has been there five years but doesn’t have a badge. You would think then that my boy would walk the promotion, but I don’t think it will be that easy as I said the other man is a few years older and has worked there so much longer, boy wonder, smile, has only been there half a year.
I asked my Son to text me at nights when he is in the hotel. He replied that he doesn’t think that he will be back before three. What? Oh no. Gosh, role on Sunday. I just want him home already. Their hotel is nowhere near the centre and his sense of direction is really bad as for Shamrock? She is a very young seventeen-year-old bless her so if they don’t get lost I will eat my hat.
If I had one.
So, my hands together tonight for the 48-year-old Policeman who was murdered today in London his poor wife and children. The evil person who did this, has killed a family. For the others who were killed, God bless them and their families a candle will be lit in my heart for them all and a prayer for a safe return for our Son and Shamrock. Night Bloggets, stay safe, peace love and understanding for all. X
Oh, today I spent time on the phone trying to sort out life. Speaking to stupid people who shouldn’t be working in jobs where you need to communicate with the public. Seriously, either I can’t understand a word they say or they have the braincells of a mollusc!
I was asked which town I lived in, I told them, they then gave me the phone number for my local office. 55 miles away…. My local office is a mile away. When I got through, the incompetent woman, said. “I will give you a number to call. Are you phoning from a land line or mobile?”” I replied only mobile. She then gave me a number. And said that number will get you to your office if you are calling from a land line. I said. I’m not going to call from a landline, I will phone from a mobile phone. She said
Yes.
I said yes what? She continued. “you can only phone the number I gave you from a landline…” I continued.
“I don’t have a landline. I only have a mobile phone, so the number you have given me is no good to me, could I have the number from a mobile?””
She replied. Yes, dear I have given you it.”” So, I read the number back to her and said. So, this number, from a mobile, will I get through?
Oh, no dear, that number can’t be called from a mobile.
Me, so what is the number I can call from a mobile?
Stupid head lady started to give me the same number again. Oh, my God? So, I just said look, give me both numbers you have please? She did and all was well in the end. But seriously? There are intelligent people who are blind who cannot get a job and then there are people like her. Don’t even go there when it came to giving my address? And she had to keep going away. Why? By her reaction, I am guessing, for a drink.
And not of tea.
It’s late, I feel sick. My Son is going abroad and driving to the airport at half four in the morning. His girlfriend is staying here tonight until the early hours and then they will be leaving. Oh my, you should see how much stuff she has? She is like an excited kitten!
Poor Boy Wonder is so tired. He has been up since quarter to six this morning working he is due back at midnight on Sunday and due back at work six hours later.
Did I tell you he was offered another job? But again, turned it down, but today at work his job now, he was recognised by the area manager and awarded a badge and there is only one other who has such a badge even his boss doesn’t so bless him, he was so proud. His photograph has been put on their website but the awful thing is, the person who took the picture of him and the manager, is the same guy who is up against my boy for promotion and he has been there five years but doesn’t have a badge. You would think then that my boy would walk the promotion, but I don’t think it will be that easy as I said the other man is a few years older and has worked there so much longer, boy wonder, smile, has only been there half a year.
I asked my Son to text me at nights when he is in the hotel. He replied that he doesn’t think that he will be back before three. What? Oh no. Gosh, role on Sunday. I just want him home already. Their hotel is nowhere near the centre and his sense of direction is really bad as for Shamrock? She is a very young seventeen-year-old bless her so if they don’t get lost I will eat my hat.
If I had one.
So, my hands together tonight for the 48-year-old Policeman who was murdered today in London his poor wife and children. The evil person who did this, has killed a family. For the others who were killed, God bless them and their families a candle will be lit in my heart for them all and a prayer for a safe return for our Son and Shamrock. Night Bloggets, stay safe, peace love and understanding for all. X
WEDNESDAYS DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good afternoon Bloggets. Today was a good one for my little lady in my bathroom scales. A whopping 1 and a quarter lbs off. And I know the reason why, and it’s not a good one.
I ate my big breakfast yesterday when I went out for my treat with my Son. Then some turnip for dinner, OK, I’m odd. Also, some raspberries. That was at five thirty and then I went to get my supper of cereal and was made to feel it was the wrong time wrong food to eat. So, I went to bed rather upset I felt as if back at boarding school. I know it’s the wrong time, but it’s not as much as toast as I used to have. Also, I had no dinner really or lunch. But because I starved, that is why I am less and that is the only time I see a result. I must say I didn’t wake up hungry but during the night as well as before sleep, I felt as if my stomach had been cut.
If I drink, I need to eat too, so hence I had no fluid so hence head ache and felt awful.
Today I have had too much, cottage cheese and some rice crackers, some nut biscuits and some noodles. So, for dinner, as little as I can. I can’t do a full salad, sick of it now, perhaps some celery, that will do me. Then I will try to not eat before bed again.
A friend and Blogget asked what was my goal weight? Heck, I can’t even have a goal. Right now, it’s just to loss a couple of lbs a week. I have miles to go and if I think of a goal, I will fail. A goal is for when I am way down the line.
When? Really? I am not saying if. That was interesting.
The next few days will be a challenge as my Son leaves the country to holiday. Stress makes me eat.
Hub working from home today. He has spent hours on the phone and on his computer filling in forms and sieving through job applications for another team. He did stop for lunch though. I made my boys lunch of spicy sausage pasta and for Hub I cooked him food for a sandwich. Sliced potatoes fried, mushrooms, tomatoes and bacon. I dipped a slice of bread in egg and fried that then took two slices of bread placed half of food on one slice, then put the egg bread on top then rest of food on top of that and then the last slice of bread. Real heart attack food or what? He’s having fish for dinner tonight…
It’s raining hard outside and it’s so cold. London has parts where it has closed down due to a terrorist attack. The bomber ended up dead. I wonder how their Mother will feel now? I pray that there are no others hurt.
Must dash, loads to do. Hope you are all well and safe. X
I ate my big breakfast yesterday when I went out for my treat with my Son. Then some turnip for dinner, OK, I’m odd. Also, some raspberries. That was at five thirty and then I went to get my supper of cereal and was made to feel it was the wrong time wrong food to eat. So, I went to bed rather upset I felt as if back at boarding school. I know it’s the wrong time, but it’s not as much as toast as I used to have. Also, I had no dinner really or lunch. But because I starved, that is why I am less and that is the only time I see a result. I must say I didn’t wake up hungry but during the night as well as before sleep, I felt as if my stomach had been cut.
If I drink, I need to eat too, so hence I had no fluid so hence head ache and felt awful.
Today I have had too much, cottage cheese and some rice crackers, some nut biscuits and some noodles. So, for dinner, as little as I can. I can’t do a full salad, sick of it now, perhaps some celery, that will do me. Then I will try to not eat before bed again.
A friend and Blogget asked what was my goal weight? Heck, I can’t even have a goal. Right now, it’s just to loss a couple of lbs a week. I have miles to go and if I think of a goal, I will fail. A goal is for when I am way down the line.
When? Really? I am not saying if. That was interesting.
The next few days will be a challenge as my Son leaves the country to holiday. Stress makes me eat.
Hub working from home today. He has spent hours on the phone and on his computer filling in forms and sieving through job applications for another team. He did stop for lunch though. I made my boys lunch of spicy sausage pasta and for Hub I cooked him food for a sandwich. Sliced potatoes fried, mushrooms, tomatoes and bacon. I dipped a slice of bread in egg and fried that then took two slices of bread placed half of food on one slice, then put the egg bread on top then rest of food on top of that and then the last slice of bread. Real heart attack food or what? He’s having fish for dinner tonight…
It’s raining hard outside and it’s so cold. London has parts where it has closed down due to a terrorist attack. The bomber ended up dead. I wonder how their Mother will feel now? I pray that there are no others hurt.
Must dash, loads to do. Hope you are all well and safe. X
Tuesday, 21 March 2017
RETINITIS PIGMENTOSA FILE
A 29-year-old man with an inherited form of blindness has become the first in the world to receive groundbreaking gene therapy CREDIT: UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD
Thousands of people born with a faulty gene which makes them go blind have been offered new hope after a British man underwent the world’s first operation to deliver new DNA to his eyes and restore his sight.
Around 15,000 people in Britain suffer from x-linked retinitis pigmentosa, a deteriorating condition which brings a slow and irreversible loss of vision, and which is the leading cause of blindness in young people.
Loss of sight occurs because a gene responsible for maintaining the light sensitive cells at the back of the eye is missing half of its DNA code.
But scientists can now replace the code using a groundbreaking technique which reprogrammed the gene in the lab, then delivers the healthy DNA into the eye, via a harmless virus
The man will have to wait a few years to see if the virus has stopped the retina from degenerating. So, I believe, and I may be wrong, but I wonder if this is for those with sight still? Please let me know your opinions?
“The genetic code for all life on Earth is made up of four letters – G, T, A and C. In retinitis pigmentosa, however, half of the RPGR gene comprises only two letters – A and G.
Wouldn’t it be a breakthrough if we could make the missing letters? I guess this is what they are doing? All medical jargon is so difficult to understand I wish it was written in a more basic language one where one doesn’t need a medical degree to unravel the lingo!
It does seem like great news for us though. I pray for this day.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/03/20/blind-british-man-worlds-first-operation-deliver-modified-dna/
Thousands of people born with a faulty gene which makes them go blind have been offered new hope after a British man underwent the world’s first operation to deliver new DNA to his eyes and restore his sight.
Around 15,000 people in Britain suffer from x-linked retinitis pigmentosa, a deteriorating condition which brings a slow and irreversible loss of vision, and which is the leading cause of blindness in young people.
Loss of sight occurs because a gene responsible for maintaining the light sensitive cells at the back of the eye is missing half of its DNA code.
But scientists can now replace the code using a groundbreaking technique which reprogrammed the gene in the lab, then delivers the healthy DNA into the eye, via a harmless virus
The man will have to wait a few years to see if the virus has stopped the retina from degenerating. So, I believe, and I may be wrong, but I wonder if this is for those with sight still? Please let me know your opinions?
“The genetic code for all life on Earth is made up of four letters – G, T, A and C. In retinitis pigmentosa, however, half of the RPGR gene comprises only two letters – A and G.
Wouldn’t it be a breakthrough if we could make the missing letters? I guess this is what they are doing? All medical jargon is so difficult to understand I wish it was written in a more basic language one where one doesn’t need a medical degree to unravel the lingo!
It does seem like great news for us though. I pray for this day.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/03/20/blind-british-man-worlds-first-operation-deliver-modified-dna/
MOTHERSDAY LUNCH BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Gosh, well, here we are…. Where to start? Yesterday my Son told me he was going to take me out for lunch for Mother’s Day as he will be abroad on Sunday. Just me and him, a lovely Mother and Son lunch. Then he told me he was going to take me to a vegetarian place. Well, my mind was boggled. There are a couple of vegetarian restaurants where we live. Then he gave me the news of where it was? HahahahahahaHeheheheheheheHooooohoooohooo!
In a bike shop.
A what?
A shop that sells bicycles.
Oh, my.
And we weren’t going for lunch, but breakfast. He had to get a haircut first. We went to our town, he parked up, he was really concerned about leaving me. I was fine, it was a proper car park, not as if it was dark and I was down a dark alley way.
He was so sweet, asking me if I wanted the heater left on. Showing me how to do the music and how to unlock the door and do the window, I’m from the days where the knob is on the door to lock with and you wind down the handle to open and close the windows, haha. I mean, who would think that you lock the doors by the dash board?
Off he went and I was so proud that he is so caring. He always was, he just went through a very bad time for three years. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I do still wonder? But in general, he has the warmest kindest heart. Towards his friends too, he is so caring. He really looks out for them and is always there to talk with when they are going through a tough time, makes me realise that I have done an Okay job on him. But really Bloggets, it hasn’t been an easy journey and my times have been challenging. He has broken my heart many times, but I pray he has come out of that and through the other side.
I did try to hint to my Son that we perhaps should think about going somewhere else? But he insisted that we went here. He said he has done some research and he is fed up with seeing me eating salad and chips when we go out to other restaurants, so wants to see me eat proper food. Little things really do bother my Son, our actions do affect our kids, just he is very vocal about his issues and what affects him. It’s sad really, as I don’t mind salads when we go out, I do get a little sad when I see what meat dishes are available and I think what would it take to rustle up a veggie meal? But never let it show. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want to eat animals, it’s my choice, my life. More importantly, the animal’s life.
I didn’t know what to expect from this place I imagined a dark dingy part of a shop with bikes all around. And I wasn’t wrong, but, as we waited for our order, which was a full English breakfast, veggie style, served with one thing I thought was rather odd, sweet potatoes? That took some getting used to, a little sweet for my liking, but different for sure. Of course, the girl serving fancied boy wonder. It was so obvious. My tea pot came with loose tea in, my Son served it like a gentleman. I could have poured it but he took charge. He described the cups saucers and teapot to me as he knows I love stuff like that. Then told me about the surroundings. I asked him were the tables marble? Silly me, I knew they weren’t wood, or plastic, they were cold like marble, but in fact they were metal. Like chrome. There were bikes all around so many colours. Bright blue bikes with brown leather seats. Orange, yellow, red and bright green bikes. Pinks too, will every bright colour with unusual seats. Boy Wonder said that some of them looked really old fashioned, but of course were new so were just quirky.
My boy had the same as me, breakfast. He loves veggie food, just sadly likes meat too now. I wouldn’t say loves meat though and if he had a girlfriend who was a vegetarian, he I’m sure would change back to being a vegetarian. I am shocked his Father still is a vegetarian, that makes me happy. I thought when we split up, he would go back to eating meat. As it’s so difficult to be a veggie especially if you cook for one. Strength to him, he kept it up.
Our breakfast came. Gosh. I ate fried egg. I never even eat eggs at home, and I buy free ranged, but just don’t eat them, though I do love them.
On a slice of fried egg bread was the egg and tomatoes with the odd sweet potatoes, mushrooms and two of the most delicious veggie sausages. Gosh they were really really amazing.
I tell you I was so full and then my Son brought me some cake and a coffee. We had a lovely time, it was full. You know I have a theory, I believe that vegetarians are caring people. There was some really sweet people in there and I don’t think they were wearing potato sacks tied with a rope, but normal clothes, and one Dad was there with his daughter aged about three. He had so much time for her, he was so caring and all through their breakfast, he did a jigsaw with her teaching her about the alphabet. His patients were stunning. I so wish my boy could have had a nice Daddy like that. But having said that, the little girls Mum just sat there never said a word. I bet the Dad was the veggie and the Mother wasn’t? haha.
I was just so proud of BW. He has a golden heart. We went back to the car, he opened the door for me and closed it behind me. Kept asking if I was OK and if I enjoyed it? I did. Moreover, I was so happy to spend some time with him.
On the way, back he pulled over and took a call from his friend. His friend whose poor Dad has just died. Long and short, my Son dropped me off and turned around to go all the way back to town to be with his friend who needs someone right now. Bless his heart. He still takes care of his pal whose Mum died last year, when I say takes care, I mean just watches out for him. He cares for him. Also, he has another friend who is going through a lot of really bad problems right now, so a true friend. A Son I adore. I’m blessed for sure.
As for my food intake? Well last night for dinner, I couldn’t face another salad. I had made it so had some fruit then about half ten in the evening when I was hungry, I ate the salad. So yesterday was an Okay day for eating. I did have two pies cheese pies for lunch. Cereal for late breakfast and my salad. The cereal wasn’t a good one, my Son poured it and then decided he didn’t want it even before eating any, so I didn’t want to waste it, so ate it. But it was a sugared one. So, I guess in calories, I had about 2000. But still, that is about 800 less than I would normally have if I ate bread and potatoes.
Can you believe it’s snowing here? It’s bitter cold too. Back home, the house is so warm. The sun is shining through the windows and Waggatail is resting in the middle of the floor where the sun has the wood warm.
Now to start the day’s housework. I’m doing the family pulled pork, an expression I hate, where it came from, I don’t know. With herb, new potatoes and veg for dinner, me? I think I will have a dessert of custard and bananas. Strange, that’s me. But I have had my intake for the day really, though I’m sure it was all good for me as everything was organic or homemade.
I guess never judge a book by its cover when it comes to this café today, I wouldn’t have picked it, but so glad of the experience, sometimes it’s boring being normal and obvious, picking places that sound lovely. This place didn’t sound lovely, but the food was delicious and the atmosphere just added to life’s experiences.
Until later with love. X
In a bike shop.
A what?
A shop that sells bicycles.
Oh, my.
And we weren’t going for lunch, but breakfast. He had to get a haircut first. We went to our town, he parked up, he was really concerned about leaving me. I was fine, it was a proper car park, not as if it was dark and I was down a dark alley way.
He was so sweet, asking me if I wanted the heater left on. Showing me how to do the music and how to unlock the door and do the window, I’m from the days where the knob is on the door to lock with and you wind down the handle to open and close the windows, haha. I mean, who would think that you lock the doors by the dash board?
Off he went and I was so proud that he is so caring. He always was, he just went through a very bad time for three years. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I do still wonder? But in general, he has the warmest kindest heart. Towards his friends too, he is so caring. He really looks out for them and is always there to talk with when they are going through a tough time, makes me realise that I have done an Okay job on him. But really Bloggets, it hasn’t been an easy journey and my times have been challenging. He has broken my heart many times, but I pray he has come out of that and through the other side.
I did try to hint to my Son that we perhaps should think about going somewhere else? But he insisted that we went here. He said he has done some research and he is fed up with seeing me eating salad and chips when we go out to other restaurants, so wants to see me eat proper food. Little things really do bother my Son, our actions do affect our kids, just he is very vocal about his issues and what affects him. It’s sad really, as I don’t mind salads when we go out, I do get a little sad when I see what meat dishes are available and I think what would it take to rustle up a veggie meal? But never let it show. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want to eat animals, it’s my choice, my life. More importantly, the animal’s life.
I didn’t know what to expect from this place I imagined a dark dingy part of a shop with bikes all around. And I wasn’t wrong, but, as we waited for our order, which was a full English breakfast, veggie style, served with one thing I thought was rather odd, sweet potatoes? That took some getting used to, a little sweet for my liking, but different for sure. Of course, the girl serving fancied boy wonder. It was so obvious. My tea pot came with loose tea in, my Son served it like a gentleman. I could have poured it but he took charge. He described the cups saucers and teapot to me as he knows I love stuff like that. Then told me about the surroundings. I asked him were the tables marble? Silly me, I knew they weren’t wood, or plastic, they were cold like marble, but in fact they were metal. Like chrome. There were bikes all around so many colours. Bright blue bikes with brown leather seats. Orange, yellow, red and bright green bikes. Pinks too, will every bright colour with unusual seats. Boy Wonder said that some of them looked really old fashioned, but of course were new so were just quirky.
My boy had the same as me, breakfast. He loves veggie food, just sadly likes meat too now. I wouldn’t say loves meat though and if he had a girlfriend who was a vegetarian, he I’m sure would change back to being a vegetarian. I am shocked his Father still is a vegetarian, that makes me happy. I thought when we split up, he would go back to eating meat. As it’s so difficult to be a veggie especially if you cook for one. Strength to him, he kept it up.
Our breakfast came. Gosh. I ate fried egg. I never even eat eggs at home, and I buy free ranged, but just don’t eat them, though I do love them.
On a slice of fried egg bread was the egg and tomatoes with the odd sweet potatoes, mushrooms and two of the most delicious veggie sausages. Gosh they were really really amazing.
I tell you I was so full and then my Son brought me some cake and a coffee. We had a lovely time, it was full. You know I have a theory, I believe that vegetarians are caring people. There was some really sweet people in there and I don’t think they were wearing potato sacks tied with a rope, but normal clothes, and one Dad was there with his daughter aged about three. He had so much time for her, he was so caring and all through their breakfast, he did a jigsaw with her teaching her about the alphabet. His patients were stunning. I so wish my boy could have had a nice Daddy like that. But having said that, the little girls Mum just sat there never said a word. I bet the Dad was the veggie and the Mother wasn’t? haha.
I was just so proud of BW. He has a golden heart. We went back to the car, he opened the door for me and closed it behind me. Kept asking if I was OK and if I enjoyed it? I did. Moreover, I was so happy to spend some time with him.
On the way, back he pulled over and took a call from his friend. His friend whose poor Dad has just died. Long and short, my Son dropped me off and turned around to go all the way back to town to be with his friend who needs someone right now. Bless his heart. He still takes care of his pal whose Mum died last year, when I say takes care, I mean just watches out for him. He cares for him. Also, he has another friend who is going through a lot of really bad problems right now, so a true friend. A Son I adore. I’m blessed for sure.
As for my food intake? Well last night for dinner, I couldn’t face another salad. I had made it so had some fruit then about half ten in the evening when I was hungry, I ate the salad. So yesterday was an Okay day for eating. I did have two pies cheese pies for lunch. Cereal for late breakfast and my salad. The cereal wasn’t a good one, my Son poured it and then decided he didn’t want it even before eating any, so I didn’t want to waste it, so ate it. But it was a sugared one. So, I guess in calories, I had about 2000. But still, that is about 800 less than I would normally have if I ate bread and potatoes.
Can you believe it’s snowing here? It’s bitter cold too. Back home, the house is so warm. The sun is shining through the windows and Waggatail is resting in the middle of the floor where the sun has the wood warm.
Now to start the day’s housework. I’m doing the family pulled pork, an expression I hate, where it came from, I don’t know. With herb, new potatoes and veg for dinner, me? I think I will have a dessert of custard and bananas. Strange, that’s me. But I have had my intake for the day really, though I’m sure it was all good for me as everything was organic or homemade.
I guess never judge a book by its cover when it comes to this café today, I wouldn’t have picked it, but so glad of the experience, sometimes it’s boring being normal and obvious, picking places that sound lovely. This place didn’t sound lovely, but the food was delicious and the atmosphere just added to life’s experiences.
Until later with love. X
Monday, 20 March 2017
HEAD HUNTED BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good day Bloggets.
Today didn’t start off well as I stepped on the scales and the ladies voice in my scales read out a wrong set of numbers. To say I was devastated is an understatement, but what is different this time is, I’m not giving up. It’s only been ten days since I started this new way of eating and I can say I do feel better and happier that I have stayed with the plan and not quit. Quitter is my middle name. I am determined to wear summer tops and feel good this year.
I came downstairs, let my dog out, groomed her, played with her in the garden, came in washed my hands and put on a cup of tea. Then went to start Boy Wonders lunch. Fresh pasta, mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach and cheese! I took from the fridge some chicken I kept back from his yesterday’s lunch and added that to the dish of all cooked food.
Then I started on the family meal for tonight, steak casserole and for me? Salad with cottage cheese. I made a large salad and put it in the salad spinner, I must say, if you are going to eat salads and you don’t have one of those, they are amazing. They keep the salad crisp too it’s shocking just how much water you tip out of the dish once spun!
Then I filled the dish washer cleaned the work tops down and did the floors. Then my shopping arrived. Such a sweet man today, at first when the guys used to hand me the bags, I used to think they had horrid hard hands rough too with being outside in all weathers. Then I realised that they wear gloves….
He asked me today how I managed to know what was in the tins? I smiled and thought never mind the tins, what about the frozen food and fresh, not to mention the toiletries. After trying to find the sauce for my Sons lunch, I opened a jar of new pickle onions, then a jar of cherries that you have with drinks. That was my own fault as I was lazy, normally I would have shook the jars and heard that they rattle, sauce doesn’t… Silly me. Hub taps jars to know what is in them. He says he knows what is mayonnaise because the bottom the eggs settle and he can hear the dull tone… Really? I am kind of learning jars because of the labels have different textures, but it’s a pain. Please hurry with a cure for sight? The kitchen would be a dream then, and my days would be so much less stressful.
Just then, my Son walked through the door, he has been working since six this morning. He gave me a nice surprise. Tomorrow he is taking me out to lunch. He is taking me to a very nice vegetarian fooderie. I have never been before, but let’s hope they sell more than goats cheese and risotto? I don’t know how he will cope, haha, no meat?
Gosh, I hope it’s not full of, well, you know kind of free spirited people? In clothes made from potato sacks tied with a homemade rope? Hahhahaha
I shall let you know tomorrow.
He won’t be here for Mother’s Day, so this is why the treat now. He is off on holiday in a couple of days. My lovely Blogget and friend from South Africa has emailed me, I love her emails and get so excited when I see her name in my mail, but I’m trying to keep her email for as long as possible as for when my boy is away, I shall need every bit of support possible. My heart will be broken. I miss him so much but he will be having a great time with Shamrock. I pray.
Bless her, she is all packed and even has spending money, as for my Son? Nope, last minute Charlie.
It’s windy today has been raining heavy but it’s not at all cold. Gosh this year we really are going to have huge wasps. They will be so big because of the mild winter, they will come with leather jackets and work boots.
I received a phone call today from a company who are now starting to annoy me. Last time I spoke with them, it was obvious that the lady thought I was a young girl. Hahhahaha. No cameras were involved. And she spoke to me like I was her granddaughter. This time, same company different person. She said she had me down as a first-time buyer? Em, hello we have not long moved we are not moving?
Why was that I wonder, perhaps because she thought I was a child last time? Then the person asked me where I lived? I gave her my post Coad and she then asked for my door number? By this time, I got very cross. I don’t want mail. She said oh no my dear, we wouldn’t. Then why do you want my address? Only your door number she exclaimed. And my post Coad? I know you can get my full address by that information I put the phone down. She is very keen to sell me her offerings. Haha. She has or they have as a company emailed me, phoned me and text me.
My Son was approached end of last week from a website he has put his CV on. She said his profile qualified him for a job she was looking for someone just like him.
She spoke with him for half an hour and asked him to go for an interview after he passed the telephone interview.
He went on Friday, all suited and booted. He looked so smart but he wasn’t’ sure at all if the job was for him, though the money really interested him.
I must say it was a fortune. Well Friday tea time he learned he had the job. But, he has thought about it and isn’t interested. I’m so very proud of him. He turned down almost double what he is earning now because he wants to be happy in the work place, so money didn’t dictate his decision. Great, as if he were still dating his last evil gf, he would have had no choice but take it to keep up with her spoiled little brattish lifestyle that is supported by anyone but herself.
Obviously, it did his confidence good though. Will he regret it? I don’t honestly know, but to be truthful I couldn’t see him doing that.
He has been offered promotion in the job he is doing, but it’s slow progress. I just wish he would go to night school. He is so clever and is wasted. But that is up to him, perhaps he will one day.
My Husband also was head hunted last week, and again turned the job down, earning 24 thousand more than he is at this job… What is wrong with my boys? Hahaha. I will take both jobs please?
OK will go for now but before I do, something to think about?
What we think, we become
Buddha
Silence is golden if you don’t know the answer.
Muhammad Ali
This is for you, and for a Blogget who I hope will know who she is? Someone who is concerned about a holiday she is going on.
Vulnerability, is showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we are terrified about what people might see or think.
Brene Brown
Try to do the things that you have always thought impossible.
Fiona Cummings
Today didn’t start off well as I stepped on the scales and the ladies voice in my scales read out a wrong set of numbers. To say I was devastated is an understatement, but what is different this time is, I’m not giving up. It’s only been ten days since I started this new way of eating and I can say I do feel better and happier that I have stayed with the plan and not quit. Quitter is my middle name. I am determined to wear summer tops and feel good this year.
I came downstairs, let my dog out, groomed her, played with her in the garden, came in washed my hands and put on a cup of tea. Then went to start Boy Wonders lunch. Fresh pasta, mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach and cheese! I took from the fridge some chicken I kept back from his yesterday’s lunch and added that to the dish of all cooked food.
Then I started on the family meal for tonight, steak casserole and for me? Salad with cottage cheese. I made a large salad and put it in the salad spinner, I must say, if you are going to eat salads and you don’t have one of those, they are amazing. They keep the salad crisp too it’s shocking just how much water you tip out of the dish once spun!
Then I filled the dish washer cleaned the work tops down and did the floors. Then my shopping arrived. Such a sweet man today, at first when the guys used to hand me the bags, I used to think they had horrid hard hands rough too with being outside in all weathers. Then I realised that they wear gloves….
He asked me today how I managed to know what was in the tins? I smiled and thought never mind the tins, what about the frozen food and fresh, not to mention the toiletries. After trying to find the sauce for my Sons lunch, I opened a jar of new pickle onions, then a jar of cherries that you have with drinks. That was my own fault as I was lazy, normally I would have shook the jars and heard that they rattle, sauce doesn’t… Silly me. Hub taps jars to know what is in them. He says he knows what is mayonnaise because the bottom the eggs settle and he can hear the dull tone… Really? I am kind of learning jars because of the labels have different textures, but it’s a pain. Please hurry with a cure for sight? The kitchen would be a dream then, and my days would be so much less stressful.
Just then, my Son walked through the door, he has been working since six this morning. He gave me a nice surprise. Tomorrow he is taking me out to lunch. He is taking me to a very nice vegetarian fooderie. I have never been before, but let’s hope they sell more than goats cheese and risotto? I don’t know how he will cope, haha, no meat?
Gosh, I hope it’s not full of, well, you know kind of free spirited people? In clothes made from potato sacks tied with a homemade rope? Hahhahaha
I shall let you know tomorrow.
He won’t be here for Mother’s Day, so this is why the treat now. He is off on holiday in a couple of days. My lovely Blogget and friend from South Africa has emailed me, I love her emails and get so excited when I see her name in my mail, but I’m trying to keep her email for as long as possible as for when my boy is away, I shall need every bit of support possible. My heart will be broken. I miss him so much but he will be having a great time with Shamrock. I pray.
Bless her, she is all packed and even has spending money, as for my Son? Nope, last minute Charlie.
It’s windy today has been raining heavy but it’s not at all cold. Gosh this year we really are going to have huge wasps. They will be so big because of the mild winter, they will come with leather jackets and work boots.
I received a phone call today from a company who are now starting to annoy me. Last time I spoke with them, it was obvious that the lady thought I was a young girl. Hahhahaha. No cameras were involved. And she spoke to me like I was her granddaughter. This time, same company different person. She said she had me down as a first-time buyer? Em, hello we have not long moved we are not moving?
Why was that I wonder, perhaps because she thought I was a child last time? Then the person asked me where I lived? I gave her my post Coad and she then asked for my door number? By this time, I got very cross. I don’t want mail. She said oh no my dear, we wouldn’t. Then why do you want my address? Only your door number she exclaimed. And my post Coad? I know you can get my full address by that information I put the phone down. She is very keen to sell me her offerings. Haha. She has or they have as a company emailed me, phoned me and text me.
My Son was approached end of last week from a website he has put his CV on. She said his profile qualified him for a job she was looking for someone just like him.
She spoke with him for half an hour and asked him to go for an interview after he passed the telephone interview.
He went on Friday, all suited and booted. He looked so smart but he wasn’t’ sure at all if the job was for him, though the money really interested him.
I must say it was a fortune. Well Friday tea time he learned he had the job. But, he has thought about it and isn’t interested. I’m so very proud of him. He turned down almost double what he is earning now because he wants to be happy in the work place, so money didn’t dictate his decision. Great, as if he were still dating his last evil gf, he would have had no choice but take it to keep up with her spoiled little brattish lifestyle that is supported by anyone but herself.
Obviously, it did his confidence good though. Will he regret it? I don’t honestly know, but to be truthful I couldn’t see him doing that.
He has been offered promotion in the job he is doing, but it’s slow progress. I just wish he would go to night school. He is so clever and is wasted. But that is up to him, perhaps he will one day.
My Husband also was head hunted last week, and again turned the job down, earning 24 thousand more than he is at this job… What is wrong with my boys? Hahaha. I will take both jobs please?
OK will go for now but before I do, something to think about?
What we think, we become
Buddha
Silence is golden if you don’t know the answer.
Muhammad Ali
This is for you, and for a Blogget who I hope will know who she is? Someone who is concerned about a holiday she is going on.
Vulnerability, is showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we are terrified about what people might see or think.
Brene Brown
Try to do the things that you have always thought impossible.
Fiona Cummings
Sunday, 19 March 2017
MEMORIES OF DREADED SUNDAYS BY FIONA CUMMINGS
My Sunday evening, Hub and mine least favourite time of the week. As I have spoken about before it stems from the dreaded days of boarding school. Sunday was the night we had to return to our prison of the evil camp. That was when we were little. Older, a lot of Sundays I spent at school, not going home that weekend, but Hub spent most of his weekends at school and only got home at half term. Life thankfully is so different now for children with vision problems. They can attend a school for all. Not that I’m saying for education that is the best, but for sure our minds wouldn’t be so screwed up if we, had that luxury as children.
The pain on a Sunday lunch time of knowing that that would be my last meal for a week at least was unbearable. Food at our schools were really disgusting. Especially my second school. I can only liken it to a work house in the Victorian days. We had some old dried cereal for breakfast with a slice of white bread and butter. Lunch was one slice of roast beef two potatoes and some white cabbage. Most days that is what we got and something they called dessert, but if we did anything wrong, dessert was removed from our privileges.
It’s not even worth wasting words on the slop we were served for evening meal at five and at so called supper time, we got a plain biscuit with a slice of bread and butter. My friends and I used to try to pack our bread out a bit by putting the biscuit in the bread. Never the luxury at supper time of a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate. The growing boys used to really suffer. I hope whoever decided to treat us in such a manner, goes to their grave in pain and suffers a slow hot journey to hell.
Harsh? You may say that, but to be honest, the food was the least of our problems. How on earth no one has took our school masters to court by now is beyond me. Of course, there were favourites, and no harm came to them, but they were the kids used in other ways. Ways that are too graphic to write about.
Sundays meant packing a case and heading off to a cold welcome from a damp smelling school. Thank God for our friends, who became our brothers and sisters.
Hub and I have to face facts, nothing we can do now can change our past. The times as small children we fell and wanted a hug from our parents. No one can read bed time stories to us but we can read them to our children. We can make sure our children have nice food and feel warm and loved. Our Son is loved so much, in fact he doesn’t realise just how much and will never appreciate how lucky he is, because thankfully he has never had to suffer in such ways.
Tonight, Hub and I watched a drama we had recorded called Call the Midwife. It was the last in the series. We shouldn’t watch it on a Sunday, we are our own enemies. I don’t think there are many weeks when I don’t cry having that dreadful lump in my throat because of course it’s about women getting pregnant their lifestyles from the 1960’s and what life was like in those days. Well, that should be a no no for me with me being adopted in the late 60’s. But no, I punish myself and watch it.
Tonight’s episode was about a few families one in particularly was heart breaking but the other, how much a father wanted his baby. This just reminded me how alone I felt when I was having my baby and when I had him. I was a Mother and Father to my Son. I went through hell. Wondering how on earth could a person like my birth Mother give a baby up? And facing my new born baby wondering if he too would be born with my eye disease? No one to talk to and no help. I didn’t even know how to put a nappy on my baby. I was at boarding school when my Niece was born so only saw her for the odd hour now and then. Before I knew it, she was a toddler. That toddler turned 35 today. How time goes by and how it affects us?
I’m going to bed now to tell my now and forever Husband how much I love him. Tomorrow as they say, is another day.
Dread is in my opinion linked to fear and is a thief to have the ability to enjoy the present and future if you don’t fight it, but sometimes I get tired of fighting!
The spring is full of new beginnings and I wish for a spring for all of you. X
The pain on a Sunday lunch time of knowing that that would be my last meal for a week at least was unbearable. Food at our schools were really disgusting. Especially my second school. I can only liken it to a work house in the Victorian days. We had some old dried cereal for breakfast with a slice of white bread and butter. Lunch was one slice of roast beef two potatoes and some white cabbage. Most days that is what we got and something they called dessert, but if we did anything wrong, dessert was removed from our privileges.
It’s not even worth wasting words on the slop we were served for evening meal at five and at so called supper time, we got a plain biscuit with a slice of bread and butter. My friends and I used to try to pack our bread out a bit by putting the biscuit in the bread. Never the luxury at supper time of a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate. The growing boys used to really suffer. I hope whoever decided to treat us in such a manner, goes to their grave in pain and suffers a slow hot journey to hell.
Harsh? You may say that, but to be honest, the food was the least of our problems. How on earth no one has took our school masters to court by now is beyond me. Of course, there were favourites, and no harm came to them, but they were the kids used in other ways. Ways that are too graphic to write about.
Sundays meant packing a case and heading off to a cold welcome from a damp smelling school. Thank God for our friends, who became our brothers and sisters.
Hub and I have to face facts, nothing we can do now can change our past. The times as small children we fell and wanted a hug from our parents. No one can read bed time stories to us but we can read them to our children. We can make sure our children have nice food and feel warm and loved. Our Son is loved so much, in fact he doesn’t realise just how much and will never appreciate how lucky he is, because thankfully he has never had to suffer in such ways.
Tonight, Hub and I watched a drama we had recorded called Call the Midwife. It was the last in the series. We shouldn’t watch it on a Sunday, we are our own enemies. I don’t think there are many weeks when I don’t cry having that dreadful lump in my throat because of course it’s about women getting pregnant their lifestyles from the 1960’s and what life was like in those days. Well, that should be a no no for me with me being adopted in the late 60’s. But no, I punish myself and watch it.
Tonight’s episode was about a few families one in particularly was heart breaking but the other, how much a father wanted his baby. This just reminded me how alone I felt when I was having my baby and when I had him. I was a Mother and Father to my Son. I went through hell. Wondering how on earth could a person like my birth Mother give a baby up? And facing my new born baby wondering if he too would be born with my eye disease? No one to talk to and no help. I didn’t even know how to put a nappy on my baby. I was at boarding school when my Niece was born so only saw her for the odd hour now and then. Before I knew it, she was a toddler. That toddler turned 35 today. How time goes by and how it affects us?
I’m going to bed now to tell my now and forever Husband how much I love him. Tomorrow as they say, is another day.
Dread is in my opinion linked to fear and is a thief to have the ability to enjoy the present and future if you don’t fight it, but sometimes I get tired of fighting!
The spring is full of new beginnings and I wish for a spring for all of you. X
DIARY OF WEEKEND AND FOREVER FRIENDS BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Good day Bloggets. Well, where to begin? I guess at the start! I left you on Friday and its now Sunday. Friday was the seventh day of me trying to change my life for the better as far as health is concerned. Gosh…. I published all seven days on my blog page all seven in one blog if you want to take a look? I was shocked that I had managed to get to day seven without killing anyone, metaphorically that is.
How I did it? Well, I think it’s a long story, I just don’t know how to start chapter one without making it into a novel… And that’s just chapter one…
The most important thing is, something inside of me has changed and I’m kind of dealing with the change before I will be able to explain. All I know is no one can tell you what to do in life and you can take all of the advice and then decide on your own how you are going to let it affect your life and that goes for everything.
My down fall was bread, so I had to cut it out and this was going to kill me. From waking up so angry to going to sleep worried that I wouldn’t be able to get through the next day, to feeling so proud that I had gotten over the pure starving feeling that felt as if my stomach was going to be cut. But then came the weekend… Our friend came from London and we met for lunch, had a great day and had dinner.
How was I going to deal with eating out? Well, it’s been my point since day one, I had to do it my way and do it my way I did.
We went into a grocery shop whilst my friend put the lottery on for herself and she asked me to wait to the side, where had she left me? Oh no… right next to the sandwich stand. Well, I held one in my hand, it was in a box, Haha, not just loose on the shelving.
Oh no, this was a challenge. All the shelving of sandwiches and when my friend came back, guess which one I had picked up?
Cheese and tomato. And I’m a vegetarian. So, I could have picked up ham, chicken, tuna?
Nope, it was made for me! Oh, it was a huge block of triangles. Yum. What will I do? Gosh, I put it back. If you knew me, really really knew me, and no one knows me, not even my love or Son, Even I sometimes don’t know myself. You would know just how difficult that was.
After we went to some shops, I bought a skirt and two pairs of shoes. Took advantage on having our sighted friend to assist us, if I bought one pair, when would the next time be?
Oh, it was great to be able to browse the clothes. Gosh, there were loads of tops that were so pretty, but two pairs of shoes and a skirt were enough. I love shopping with my Hub, he isn’t like most men he actually loves to shop and this is something as a blind couple we find a challenge.
We then went into a fantastic shop that sold kitchens. Just looking, gosh, it was very interesting, the staff were very sweet, offered us tea coffee, we declined both, but then told us that there was a sitting room with comfortable sofas at the back if we wanted to take a drink later and relax. Gosh, we dreamed as our kitchen is fallen apart. Our dish washer has to be fixed every time we use it, our washing machine is fine now, but is starting to make some very odd sounds. Our freezer has, well, stopped, freezing and our fridge has had to have some maintenance done on it so won’t last, well you all know about our dreadful hob? And then there is the oven. It takes ages to heat up. I could go on, but we didn’t win the lottery, so we will have to put up with it, but it was interesting just what you can get these days. Gosh fascinating cupboards that I have never seen, but I love looking at the dining room crockery. It’s like nothing that you can buy in a shop. Really unique things like in a show house, you get pictures on the walls and mirrors that you just do not see in the real world.
We then went for a coffee. So, another challenge. Hub was filling his boots, and I had a cup of coffee end of. No cake, no sandwich. By now I was hungry too.
We then went into a food shop and I bought some rice crackers and cottage cheese. And some pineapple juice, because my friend Julie kindly brought me my absolute favourite drink, a bottle of Malibu.
Wow, I love that drink. It doesn’t taste at all like alcohol. It was a part of my birthday gift bless her, she already sent me a beautiful card and chocolates a couple of weeks ago, on my birthday, so there wasn’t any need for her to spend more money.
We then caught a bus and went out for a meal as some hours had passed. Waggatail did so well she worked and guided like a professional. Haha, what got into her?
My friend said that she loves to work, really? She said that her tail never stops wagging, but it wags downwards, rather than wagging upright like LF’s. He has a tail like a huge cat, kind of rounded upwards and curls. Whereas Waggatails tail is hanging down and gently wags side to side.
The bus was a bit of a problem. After a couple of weeks ago, when we missed our stop to get off. I dread that happening again. But we knew when it was time. Julie confirmed we were where we needed to be.
And off for a meal where we met with more friends. I shared my meal with Julie, it helped she is a vegetarian too and she eats like a fly. Small amounts. I didn’t have a dessert, so was quite pleased with myself.
It was so cold on the way home, it was a great feeling that it was pitch black and I was walking along as if I could see. I love my dog, if she knows the area, she works so well. It’s amazing just how free you can feel as a blind person after being trapped for so many years as a person with some sight, though not much. I do things now that no way I would have done if I was as I was, partially sighted.
Sad goodbyes to Julie, but she will be back. I’m shattered today as we fit a lot in yesterday, but a lot of catching up with her and great memories. Tomorrow is a new start to the week, but today I have done so well and my Hub is so pleased he said he was really proud that I seem to have a new lease on life. I’m just sick of having this body, but so far, I dare not get on the scales. If I had not at a meal yesterday, I would be some lbs lighter, so I will wait until about mid-week, before I do so. Gosh it will be great if I hear 3lbs lighter on my talking scales?
Stay tuned. X
How I did it? Well, I think it’s a long story, I just don’t know how to start chapter one without making it into a novel… And that’s just chapter one…
The most important thing is, something inside of me has changed and I’m kind of dealing with the change before I will be able to explain. All I know is no one can tell you what to do in life and you can take all of the advice and then decide on your own how you are going to let it affect your life and that goes for everything.
My down fall was bread, so I had to cut it out and this was going to kill me. From waking up so angry to going to sleep worried that I wouldn’t be able to get through the next day, to feeling so proud that I had gotten over the pure starving feeling that felt as if my stomach was going to be cut. But then came the weekend… Our friend came from London and we met for lunch, had a great day and had dinner.
How was I going to deal with eating out? Well, it’s been my point since day one, I had to do it my way and do it my way I did.
We went into a grocery shop whilst my friend put the lottery on for herself and she asked me to wait to the side, where had she left me? Oh no… right next to the sandwich stand. Well, I held one in my hand, it was in a box, Haha, not just loose on the shelving.
Oh no, this was a challenge. All the shelving of sandwiches and when my friend came back, guess which one I had picked up?
Cheese and tomato. And I’m a vegetarian. So, I could have picked up ham, chicken, tuna?
Nope, it was made for me! Oh, it was a huge block of triangles. Yum. What will I do? Gosh, I put it back. If you knew me, really really knew me, and no one knows me, not even my love or Son, Even I sometimes don’t know myself. You would know just how difficult that was.
After we went to some shops, I bought a skirt and two pairs of shoes. Took advantage on having our sighted friend to assist us, if I bought one pair, when would the next time be?
Oh, it was great to be able to browse the clothes. Gosh, there were loads of tops that were so pretty, but two pairs of shoes and a skirt were enough. I love shopping with my Hub, he isn’t like most men he actually loves to shop and this is something as a blind couple we find a challenge.
We then went into a fantastic shop that sold kitchens. Just looking, gosh, it was very interesting, the staff were very sweet, offered us tea coffee, we declined both, but then told us that there was a sitting room with comfortable sofas at the back if we wanted to take a drink later and relax. Gosh, we dreamed as our kitchen is fallen apart. Our dish washer has to be fixed every time we use it, our washing machine is fine now, but is starting to make some very odd sounds. Our freezer has, well, stopped, freezing and our fridge has had to have some maintenance done on it so won’t last, well you all know about our dreadful hob? And then there is the oven. It takes ages to heat up. I could go on, but we didn’t win the lottery, so we will have to put up with it, but it was interesting just what you can get these days. Gosh fascinating cupboards that I have never seen, but I love looking at the dining room crockery. It’s like nothing that you can buy in a shop. Really unique things like in a show house, you get pictures on the walls and mirrors that you just do not see in the real world.
We then went for a coffee. So, another challenge. Hub was filling his boots, and I had a cup of coffee end of. No cake, no sandwich. By now I was hungry too.
We then went into a food shop and I bought some rice crackers and cottage cheese. And some pineapple juice, because my friend Julie kindly brought me my absolute favourite drink, a bottle of Malibu.
Wow, I love that drink. It doesn’t taste at all like alcohol. It was a part of my birthday gift bless her, she already sent me a beautiful card and chocolates a couple of weeks ago, on my birthday, so there wasn’t any need for her to spend more money.
We then caught a bus and went out for a meal as some hours had passed. Waggatail did so well she worked and guided like a professional. Haha, what got into her?
My friend said that she loves to work, really? She said that her tail never stops wagging, but it wags downwards, rather than wagging upright like LF’s. He has a tail like a huge cat, kind of rounded upwards and curls. Whereas Waggatails tail is hanging down and gently wags side to side.
The bus was a bit of a problem. After a couple of weeks ago, when we missed our stop to get off. I dread that happening again. But we knew when it was time. Julie confirmed we were where we needed to be.
And off for a meal where we met with more friends. I shared my meal with Julie, it helped she is a vegetarian too and she eats like a fly. Small amounts. I didn’t have a dessert, so was quite pleased with myself.
It was so cold on the way home, it was a great feeling that it was pitch black and I was walking along as if I could see. I love my dog, if she knows the area, she works so well. It’s amazing just how free you can feel as a blind person after being trapped for so many years as a person with some sight, though not much. I do things now that no way I would have done if I was as I was, partially sighted.
Sad goodbyes to Julie, but she will be back. I’m shattered today as we fit a lot in yesterday, but a lot of catching up with her and great memories. Tomorrow is a new start to the week, but today I have done so well and my Hub is so pleased he said he was really proud that I seem to have a new lease on life. I’m just sick of having this body, but so far, I dare not get on the scales. If I had not at a meal yesterday, I would be some lbs lighter, so I will wait until about mid-week, before I do so. Gosh it will be great if I hear 3lbs lighter on my talking scales?
Stay tuned. X
FI'S FAT FILE ALL 7 DAYS BY FIONA CUMMINGS
Day 1
Well, after a few weeks of words from a friends Mum, my Son and today my Hub, I have been told well and truly that I’m overweight and have to do something about it. I’m sick of hearing that it has to be something I, want, who wants to be overweight? Is it that easy? If so we would all have perfect figures.
So, I have tried not eating crisps for weeks as that is a weakness of mine, I have about five bags per week they are about 18g bags sometimes 25g. My biggest killer is bread I have between four and six per day. If I have potatoes as in mash I can’t eat them without butter. I use a low-fat spread, but have to have it. So, I have tried to not eat dinners at nights so I avoided butter. I have cut out biscuits I would have about a dozen per week biscuits like digestives not like American biscuits, they are like a small cookie. So as for cakes, well apart from when my friend brings a homemade cake where I have two slices in that week she bakes, when my friend Artie brings me an individual cake that is about every two months, and if I go to a coffee shop, which is about once every five or six weeks, so what I’m saying is that is all bad food, but doesn’t justify the amount I weigh. So, the only way to go is have nothing to eat all day and just try to eat dinner. Now those who know me know I struggle eating at nights there are too many reasons for that, too many to go into detail, but if it means I don’t eat full meals at nights too, then surely, I will lose weight?
Normally I would come downstairs on a Saturday and really look forward to a breakfast of a cup of tea and four slices of toast with butter. Then nothing until dinner time tonight. Not today. Today nothing. So, I’m grumpy. My stomach feels as if it’s been cut. Hub told me to have cereal. Very nice, but A, I can’t stand cereal in the mornings and B, once I start to eat in the mornings only, I want more. He said I’m making excuses now. Well, is he making excuses when he says he can’t eat before work? He said if he ate breakfast before work, he would feel sick all day, so is he making excuses? How come it’s OK for him to say he doesn’t like something and not me? Cereal I enjoy for supper, but not first thing. So, some fruit salad? I would love that as long as I knew something warm and salty was to follow. So, a hopeless case. That’s me. The only way I can try to lose weight is the way I used to do it years ago, and that is to crash diet. I will lose weight but of course then put double back on, unless I live like this all my life? Who knows one day I may get used to living on a dish of salad every day, at least I should, lose weight and feel better eventually? I mean, right now, I don’t feel fit and healthy. So, Hub is right, I’m wrong and I have to deal with it the only way I can and that is to starve myself. So, in the meanwhile, I shall be a grumpy Fi and have to keep out of the kitchen all day, well, this should be interesting how my Hub will cope for snacks as when he is off work I feed him. That is what I would have thought early this morning as I was getting a rightly deserved lecture. Until ten minutes ago, when Hub was rattling dishes in the kitchen. Then the smell came my way. Oh no, how cruel? He has only cooked himself two bacon sandwiches and of course being a veggie, I can’t eat bacon, but still long for the taste of it and the smell has made me even more hungry and grumpy, as Hub too needs to lose weight just not as much as me. It’s OK him telling me to have cereal, so why didn’t he this morning and not wave the delightful fragrance under my nose? Not a happy Fi.
Hub says do something to keep my mind away from food? It’s not my mind at the moment that wants to be near food, it’s my stomach. It really feels as if it’s been cut. My ribs are burning, but hey, it’s only day one. I guess I’m in shock as Hub has never really been bothered about me being overweight, he said his ex-wife was really too skinny and he didn’t find it attractive, but now he is saying he is worried about my health. As am I.
Yours truly
Fed up fat Fi
Fi’s fat file day two
I woke up this morning not wanting to kill someone. I was calm, but didn’t have that comforting smile on my face thinking of the prospect of breakfast. Instead, I ironed. There was something about the steam from the iron and the awful smell from the ironing water that even made me hungry, seriously, what is wrong with me?
My stomach didn’t feel as if it was cut, from past experiences, the first couple of days is difficult but then you are OK, but then you dip and then you either crack open a bag of crisps or you continue being strong. I haven’t yet been strong.
I have been grateful to my lovely Bloggets who have offered me some good advice about not starving myself. I’m just trying for now to not eat bread at all and no crisps or food after six in the evening. Apart from a dish of cereal. No sugar so hopefully it’s OK but to go to bed with nothing will make my little sleep less.
Day two is better than half a day and that is all I have managed over the past few years. I went on the treadmill again today as well. I don’t run, I care too much about the foundations in our house.
If you are starting some kind of regime too, please let me know and see if we can do this together?
I want to live to see. Literally to see. How long it will take and will it be in my life time? Well if I continue to inflate, I will die early or not be healthy enough to benefit from the freedom of sight. Hub said if I die, he will follow, charming, no pressure love?
Boy Wonder of course is telling me that I’m not doing enough exercise, well I can’t be pushed. If I am pushed, I will fall. Day by day, who knows, by Wednesday, I may be writing to tell you that I have failed again? I really hope not, if I do, I have no hope.
Food just doesn’t turn me on at all. Sandwiches crisps chocolate I can eat until the cows come home, but cooked food? Naah! So, you can imagine how difficult it is to eat healthy. Well I have had two bananas today and loads of salad. But I had custard and some chips too with a veggie burger without the bread of course. No crisps cake or biscuits. Yesterday I worked out I had about 1200 calories less than I normally would, even if I have a thousand less per day, that is a lot in a week? I have had the worst head ache all day I should go and get a big glass of water? Urr’rr’rrgg.
I wish I was good at this, but I’m not, I know what to do, I have been on more diets over the years than a new Mother and ate as healthy as a fitness instructor and crash dieted like a super model.
But as the years added onto me the way of life has changed, my mind has developed bad habits and I can tell you, this is tough.
It’s seven in the evening, please let me get till midnight without failing?
Yours truly
Anxious fat Fi. X
Day 3
Hello and welcome to day three of my fat file. Smile. A lovely lady, friend and Blogget told me that she is also fluffy and also is trying to lose weight. Fluffy? Haha. It’s cute, but does this mean we are hairy?
Last night before bed I would normally have cereal but I had the remains of the dish of salad instead and that got me through half of the night. About 3. a m my stomach started to talk with me. It was not like on day one as if a hormonal lady going through the menopause, more like a toddler showing signs of the terrible twos. Throwing a wobbler as I say.
Like a calm Mum, I spoke to it and had a chewing gum. Haha, normally it would be some chocolates from Christmas, see, I don’t binge eat otherwise they would be long gone. But they are still there on my bedside table. Gosh, what had come over me? Blogget power perhaps? But moreover, about nine in the evening yesterday, I received a text, from my Sons bedroom, seriously we live in a normal sized house, but he texts to ask the fatal question.
“Mum, are you hungry? We are going to get an Indian take away.””
Oh my. It was not words I had to say, so perhaps that made it easier? But only a reply by text, saying no thanks for me. But then when he came downstairs, he said he was going to get a curry and said the dreaded words.
(POPPADOMS)
Gosh I love them so much. Did you know they were made with a flour called Urid flour?
Now those of you who are using a screen reader will have to do a double take on the word Urid, I did. But that may be my age and not hearing. Haha. I thought it read urine. No, there is a d on the end.
On his return, I thought the smell would kill me. But there was none. He kindly left the empty paper bag on my kitchen worktop so I hurriedly took it outside and put it in the bin. I guess at least they put their dishes in the dish washer… Boy wonder told me how delicious it was, don’t people get trying not to eat? I smiled showed interest that they enjoyed their supper and bit my bottom lip, the restaurant was called zero spice. Haha, may be that is why I didn’t smell anything? Because there were no spices in their food? Why would you call your Indian restaurant that? Just thought of a really funny name for an Indian Restaurant, now if anyone pinches my idea, I expect nothing less than a supply of free Poppadoms please for at least a year… See what you think of this name?
(SPICEY MAMMA)
What do you think? Hahaha.
I resisted. Gosh, what has come over me? But still that was only day two, but one and a half more than I normally do. This is day three. It’s only mid-day, I have a long way to go before I reach the pumpkin hour. I’m on my own and that may be more challenging, but having said that, apart from Boy Wonders lunch that is cooked waiting for him, there won’t be any nice home cooked foods until I prepare dinner and I can easily resist dinners, though of course I will eat tonight, I just don’t know what? I have no desire to taste anything I cook. Haha. My family enjoy my cooking so it will be done with love, but me? I so love convenient food out of a bag or pack. And that is what I’m having to not buy and replace with salads and noodles. Noodles? Yep, that has been my lunch for the past three days. 460 calories but better than four slices of bread, butter with something on, right? Please say yes? When I eat sandwiches I’m still starving and going along with sandwiches, I have most times, not always a bag of crisps. But we have them from last week’s shopping in the cupboard and I have not even weakened to them.
I know I have turnip and sprouts to go with tonight’s dinner. Not a chance I can eat turnip without butter, but again, I’m not good at all at dieting, I just want to be a day prisoner, not in the jail full time. I will have a tiny amount of potatoes if any, I can do without them to be honest. As for sprouts? Urg, I hate them, I shall eat them as always for health benefits, but to me they are like swallowing an eyeball.
So, in short, this morning I woke up actually feeling good. I think I’m over the pain factor, already? Seams too good to be true and as I have said many many years ago, when I was good at this rubbish, I used to do a month at a time, but for years and years now, it’s been half a day.
When I was able to do a month, I dipped in and out of pain. Gosh I hope this time Mother nature is good and I continue as something drastic has to be done. My body cries every day in so much pain. I move like someone in their late eighties and I’m forties. But more so, my chest is wheezing like a heavy smoker. But I also blame the area we live. We are a city and my delicate lungs are not used to this muck.
I hope if you are joining me to try to get healthier, you too have got to day three or more? If you have had a weak moment, start again.
My inner voice says take control of your body and don’t allow your body to take control of you. Easier said than done, but hour by hour. I know I can fall at any moment and again I very much doubt by Friday, I will be sitting here writing my fat files. Gosh I pray I will be though. I know I’m going out I hope with my friend this week and it will I hope involve a coffee shop, but if I do that I won’t punish myself and I will eat some lovely food, but I won’t have many calories for dinner that night.
Well yours truly
Getting over the grumpy Fi
Day 4
I wrote about day three half way through my day yesterday, I was pleased with myself because I woke up without the pain of hunger, but then a fatal thing happened and I had the most enormous weakness. My Son kindly brought me a cake. Chocolate. So, in answer to some of your questions whether I have support from my family? Smile. I should have said no, but it was thick chocolate and a gift. Oh gosh, I really felt so bad eating it, that I didn’t have potatoes for dinner that night. Just two disgusting sprouts, as I said, it was like swallowing eyeballs. Not that I have any experience of eating eyeballs, but one can imagine! I had turnip, and yes with butter also parsnips and two large Yorkshire puddings. Dietitians would disown me right there. But I’m not on a diet, I hate the D word. I did them many years ago, and they don’t work for me at all.
I have a theory I always refer to our bodies as cars and cars require different petrol/gas/diesel oils and so on at different times of their lives. So why should we run on the same stuff? I’m sure my downfall is bread, so that is why I have not had any since Saturday.
Today, I will break my duck in a nice way. Poor duck. Smile. Basically, it’s a dreadful saying we have and it has nothing to do with the quacking kind, but to do with cricket. It’s a batsman’s dismissal for a score of 0, therefore when one breaks one’s duck, they have scored over zero It’s an English idiom meaning to do something you haven’t done for a long time. Okay, it’s only day four, but it seems like at least day seven….
Last night’s dinner and cake didn’t resort to a good evening. Gosh I was starving all night. So, salad fills me more than vegetables. Hub told me I was like a druggy coming off something. I really feel as if I’m going through cold turkey. I believe that saying comes from the US. Some say it means to talk directly, to stop something abruptly.
Last night I feared the outcome. Our shopping came, bags of salads. Haha, Hub put the fridge stuff away, it was so funny, I told him I was going to eat healthier, so be it. Gosh, I will look like a rabbit when I’m done. Last night salad wasn’t on my mind, but toast was, hot toast with melting butter. MMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMMmmm
But can you believe it, I declined.
I ate fruit to compensate for my mistakes through that day. What is it they say? A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips?
So, that was yesterday, today is today. Another day when I must try to end the day better than my start as I’m out for lunch with my lovely friend. See how I get on.
My friend and Blogget bless her, has been trying to lose some weight and has gained 2lbs. There is nothing worse than doing well and that happening. And the other night before bed, she ate a apple, so how good was that? I haven’t spoken to her yet but I will do to see what she is doing differently. I know if I have a slice of toast in the morning with beans or eggs on, and some fruit, then a small lunch then small dinner, I will be hungry all day and I know with past experience, I will go up and up like a balloon, this is why diets don’t work for me. This is why I’m trying to cut out the thing that makes me sluggish, bread. If I feel sluggish, I will not want to move and moving really works to lose weight. My mind is saying I feel bloated and my mind then talks to my body. I do believe that weight loss has to do with something to do with our mental health.
Right now, I’m going mental to get healthy. Haha. I dare not get on the scales. I will in a couple of days, that will be six days since I cut out bread. If the lady trapped inside of my talking scales tells me A, to stop having a laugh
B say, I can’t count that many numbers or C, I have gained weight, I would be devastated, I hope the least they will say is that I have stayed the same. Even if I have lost 1lb, that would be four per month and it’s better than putting four on per month. This is why I don’t want to diet because if I do, I really would suffer, but as it is, I’m not suffering. Going back to what I said about your mind talking to your body, if your mind is starved of delights, it surely will sulk with your body and if your mind and body don’t communicate, then what chance will we have?
Who knows may be what I’m trying to do will be a complete waste of time but I have tried everything in my life this is the last resort.
So, day four, I got this far, I hope I get to bedtime and can put my head on my pillow and feel proud though I will have had bread today, I shall not eat a meal other than some salad for my evening meal and I won’t have had crisps or biscuits. Mind you, there is the coffee shop coming up…
However well you are doing today, I hope it’s in the right direction.
The thing is with my friend, she has put 2 lbs on so if she is like me and says stuff it now, then where is there to go? When that happens to me, I get really cross and rebel and eat more. By doing that, before I know it, I’m 7lbs overweight then a stone. 2lbs is retrievable. Don’t get angry, get even.
Please let me get over day four and make day five even better? Then day six and that is when I’m going to weigh myself. As it is now, I don’t feel hungry during the day, I’m not waking up in the mornings starving, it’s evenings and during the night I have a problem. Stay strong and try to carry on, just hour by hour as hours make a day.
I end this blog on some quotes
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
And I love this one from George Eliot
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
So, if you have had a weak day today, show yourself just how strong you can be and take over, mind over matter, tell your mind that your health matters. And that person you really want to be, is there for you to own. X
Day 5
Well, yesterday I was delighted when it came to bedtime. I had no breakfast just some grapes and went out for lunch. I knew I would be naughty at lunch time, but being naughty is all I am good at. So, there you go… My favourite coffee shop was closed getting refurbished so it was a pub for me and my friend. Homemade chips and delicious sandwiches with salad. Then a coffee and a flap jack. I must say, I doubt the flap jack was very calorific as it wasn’t the best. Tasted as if gluten free. So, in other words, no taste. But the company and laughter made up for that and the coffee was lovely.
I returned home buzzing with good company feeling full with laughter. Hub had been working from home, I really thought he would have started to make the dinner, at least got something out of the freezer. Haha. Nope, he said he had not stopped writing and phone calls. I must say when I left him, he had been working hard since eight that morning. Boy wonder had been in an hour, not sure how he even survived, but thankfully he decided to go and have a sleep whilst I hurried and cooked sausage and chips. I had nothing at all. I wasn’t hungry so why eat?
Eight in the evening came, I still wasn’t at all wanting food, this was odd. One meal that day? I ate some nuts though, just for vitamin K. Something vegetarians need. Then by half eleven I still had no pain or desire for food, so I knew if I went to bed with nothing, I would be ill during the night and it would be hell for me. So, I ate two pears.
I woke this morning feeling fine, it was a strange evening as boy wonder didn’t get in until almost one this morning, even though he was up for work at half five. Hub was up at four this morning. He had a train to catch and it was a train that requires loads of changes. Three and a half hours each way he would be in transit. He won’t be home until almost nine tonight.
I came downstairs at quarter to nine and saw the kitchen was full of dishes. The dish washer had been on, so needed emptying. I did that then filled it again. Cleaned the work tops in the kitchen and did doggy duty. Then I was ready for a cup of tea. I have an angry feeling today, it wasn’t helped by a cross Son returning home for lunch. I knew had his lunch to do so ate a pack of six, yes, six, see, I can’t do two. Six tiny pastries of cheese and spinach. They are the size of four thumb nails put together. I felt rubbish afterwards as in calories, they were as many as the four toasts I have removed from my daily food, apart from yesterday’s sandwich. Which I don’t regret because I’m not on a diet, I’m trying to cut out food and not eat suppers.
I made a huge dish of salad and spoke to myself about what to make for dinner tonight, as boy wonder is home with our girly and much later Hub. So, for tonight’s dinner, I shall just have a huge salad. Then hopefully, I can go all night with perhaps some cereal before bed, or fruit. Though the acid of yesterday’s fruit on an empty stomach didn’t feel happy as I put my head upon my pillow.
If I can do the salad only, again no bread today or potatoes and another day without crisps. It will be hard this weekend as we are seeing our friend and a meal or two will be involved. This scares me witless, but let’s see what happens. This is the thing, you feel a party pooper. Eating for me is something you do as a group. It’s like people think we are odd because we don’t drink though Hub will be a bit this weekend as again, feels as if he should because our friend likes to. But I shall let him take that responsibility and I shall just be the company my friend comes to see. I hope… Could be Hubs good looks. Smile. She did tell me when I introduced her to him eight years ago, that she thought he was really handsome… haha.
My friend who put 2lbs on went out for two meals, so I said I would have put on 2 stone if I had done that.
My Son came home for lunch and it was a stressful one. Words were said that didn’t make me feel positive I was on a roll too. It was my own fault. I suggested that he was eating too many take away. His girlfriend lives on them and sadly he does too now, but I should shut my mouth and as long as he out lives me, so be it. Shame of his children though. I told him what I was cooking for dinner tonight he told me Shamrock was also bringing him food. Last night he ate with Hub and then went to Shamrocks for round two. Hahaha. It’s not blooming fair, if I were to eat like him, can you imagine?
So, what I was saying yesterday about the mind and mind over matter? Today isn’t a good one. So now I’m going to get active with housework and then may pop out with Waggatail.
Do I feel any thinner? At nights, I do. But tomorrow, day 6, if I get there, is the big weigh in. Let’s see. As long as I haven’t put on weight, as that is always what has happened in the past when I have gone on proper diets.
Motivational quotes for today?
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Old Chinese Proverb
“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” ~William Faulkner
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.” ~Mike Murdock
“Believe while others are doubting.” ~William Arthur Ward
How are you all doing? I hope you are happy? Let’s see if I get this day over with.
Yours truly
Hesitant Fi
Day 6
Well, if you read my blog later, not my fat file, but my Diary, you will laugh your gym shorts off. Let’s just say, the slim Gods were working hard last night and the outcome was hilarious.
I went to bed last night on an apple. Well, actually on a bed, but I ate an apple! During the day, I ate salad for dinner with gnocchi. More of that than I wished for as boy wonder served it as I spoke with Shamrock. Oh, my seriously, you will have to read my Diary blog later about our night, every time I think of Shamrock, Boy Wonders girlfriend, I laugh. Last night was crazy, anyway, back to yesterday. Lunch I ate some small pastries so that wasn’t good, but no bread, no crisps.
Today? Hmm. Today was a bad one so far and we are only up to lunch time. I had the other pack of the pastries. If you know what a sausage role is from the bakers, it is the equivalent of two of those. But with cheese and spinach. So, no good with the pastry, but then I did a sin. My first slip. I opened a large bag of crisps/potato chips. I ate half of the bag. I hate myself for that but have to tell myself at least it has been done in the morning and not the evening and for dinner tonight, I will have only salad. I haven’t craved for toast yesterday or today or bread at all. I can’t believe that. If I had not have bought the pastries in, or the crisps, then they wouldn’t be here for me to eat. Sometimes if there is nothing but salad though or cold fruit, then that is when I will turn to bread and bread is what I really feel like I need to give up.
But here we are on day 6 and my first bad moment. And as I said a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips, but I ate them quickly, so hopefully it was less than a moment. Smile. No cake apart from one my Son brought me it was a cup cake and he brought me another that went in the bin. I felt bad but he knows I’m trying to cut out on those kinds of things and it’s all about life change I guess.
Because of yesterday I’m not weighing myself today but will have to do it tomorrow as we are meeting up with our friend this weekend for a meal or two and though I will try to eat as best as you can as a vegetarian when out, it will still be more than what I have been having at home. I won’t be having dessert, that is for sure.
How do I feel physically? To be honest? I have more energy. When I say more, I mean more than I had which was none at all. So, if the most energetic person feels 10, and the least those who just want to sit in a chair all day is 1, I was a 3, because I had to get up from my comfort and do housework and cook for my family but I say 3 because I did get up, my mind and body would say 2.
Now? I would give my score an energy total of 4 and to me this is what this is all about. I haven’t done a week yet, and I’m up to a four and I think this is how I am going to have to face reality it’s a life style that has to be for life. I’m not the young girl who can crash diet and loss weight fast or cut out and loss lbs, my fluff as my American friends say is comfortable and will take some moving. Thing is, my joints are not comfortable, my bones ache. My stomach is more free now since I have stopped eating bread. And my breathing is slightly better, gosh, I sound a right one, don’t I?
Friends who only know me by photograph, say I look lovely, pretty and not overweight at all. Not sure what photo shoot I used but must look their number up hahaha.
Interestingly enough, I’m not at all tired of salads. I have been buying the ready-made ones and adding cucumber, tomatoes, celery onions and beetroot. You may ask what the heck was or is, in the made salads? Well different kinds of leaves and carrots with thinly cut white cabbage. Oh, sweetcorn too. Which reminds me, I must cook the baby corn that is in our fridge tonight. I think I will make fish for the family and that will go with the salad I shall have and they can have new potatoes with herbs. I’m very very happy that I have only had one potatoes this week, a baked one and one naughty portion of chips when I had a cheeky lunch with my friend. Bread and potatoes are my main diet and I was having four slices of bread for breakfast, sometimes some for dinner and sometimes for supper so in total I could have up to eight slices per day. I was having five bags of crisps per week 18g per bag and some kind of chocolate biscuit of some homemade cake in a week. So, in comparison, really not to beat myself too much, I have done well. I’m not saying anything to my friend this weekend and see if she notices, because I used to say she ate like a fly and she does. She can go all day on one slice of toast for breakfast and a tiny lunch with half a dinner in the evenings. But, she drinks a lot if I did, I can’t imagine how heavy I would be. My friend is lovely and slim, very tall too, thankfully I’m tall, God help me more if I were shorter. They could role me like a cheese.
Some quotes.
“It’s not the mistakes in life that are important; it’s what we learn from them.” ~Donna Guthrie
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” ~Michael Jordan
“If you start to drowned, learn to swim”
Fiona Cummings
Yours truly
Sinful Fi
Day 7
Will I, do it? Well firstly I can’t believe I have got to this day. I have lost a huge, hmm, not, 1 and a quarter lb. So, nothing really, but, I have not gained a single bit of weight. I haven’t exorcized and I feel better in myself, something that I have been able to do and stick to it. Okay, it’s only a week, in days, but heading in the right direction. The tortoise will get there in the end but the impatient butterfly won’t because they are too busy flittering from flower to flower. Thank you for all of your support and I really hope you can try with me I’m still going to do this let’s see how this weekend goes, I’m waiting for my friend and food will be involved so let’s see how I cope? I feel so pleased though and each night rather than feel a failure in life, I felt proud and that is worth the pain and it has been painful I’m not going to lie.
I will let you know more when my friend leaves for London. Some quotes before I go and if you have got over day one, wow, well done.
“A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” ~Patricia Neal
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Old Chinese Proverb
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~Dr. Denis Waitley
Yours truly
Shocked Fi
Well, after a few weeks of words from a friends Mum, my Son and today my Hub, I have been told well and truly that I’m overweight and have to do something about it. I’m sick of hearing that it has to be something I, want, who wants to be overweight? Is it that easy? If so we would all have perfect figures.
So, I have tried not eating crisps for weeks as that is a weakness of mine, I have about five bags per week they are about 18g bags sometimes 25g. My biggest killer is bread I have between four and six per day. If I have potatoes as in mash I can’t eat them without butter. I use a low-fat spread, but have to have it. So, I have tried to not eat dinners at nights so I avoided butter. I have cut out biscuits I would have about a dozen per week biscuits like digestives not like American biscuits, they are like a small cookie. So as for cakes, well apart from when my friend brings a homemade cake where I have two slices in that week she bakes, when my friend Artie brings me an individual cake that is about every two months, and if I go to a coffee shop, which is about once every five or six weeks, so what I’m saying is that is all bad food, but doesn’t justify the amount I weigh. So, the only way to go is have nothing to eat all day and just try to eat dinner. Now those who know me know I struggle eating at nights there are too many reasons for that, too many to go into detail, but if it means I don’t eat full meals at nights too, then surely, I will lose weight?
Normally I would come downstairs on a Saturday and really look forward to a breakfast of a cup of tea and four slices of toast with butter. Then nothing until dinner time tonight. Not today. Today nothing. So, I’m grumpy. My stomach feels as if it’s been cut. Hub told me to have cereal. Very nice, but A, I can’t stand cereal in the mornings and B, once I start to eat in the mornings only, I want more. He said I’m making excuses now. Well, is he making excuses when he says he can’t eat before work? He said if he ate breakfast before work, he would feel sick all day, so is he making excuses? How come it’s OK for him to say he doesn’t like something and not me? Cereal I enjoy for supper, but not first thing. So, some fruit salad? I would love that as long as I knew something warm and salty was to follow. So, a hopeless case. That’s me. The only way I can try to lose weight is the way I used to do it years ago, and that is to crash diet. I will lose weight but of course then put double back on, unless I live like this all my life? Who knows one day I may get used to living on a dish of salad every day, at least I should, lose weight and feel better eventually? I mean, right now, I don’t feel fit and healthy. So, Hub is right, I’m wrong and I have to deal with it the only way I can and that is to starve myself. So, in the meanwhile, I shall be a grumpy Fi and have to keep out of the kitchen all day, well, this should be interesting how my Hub will cope for snacks as when he is off work I feed him. That is what I would have thought early this morning as I was getting a rightly deserved lecture. Until ten minutes ago, when Hub was rattling dishes in the kitchen. Then the smell came my way. Oh no, how cruel? He has only cooked himself two bacon sandwiches and of course being a veggie, I can’t eat bacon, but still long for the taste of it and the smell has made me even more hungry and grumpy, as Hub too needs to lose weight just not as much as me. It’s OK him telling me to have cereal, so why didn’t he this morning and not wave the delightful fragrance under my nose? Not a happy Fi.
Hub says do something to keep my mind away from food? It’s not my mind at the moment that wants to be near food, it’s my stomach. It really feels as if it’s been cut. My ribs are burning, but hey, it’s only day one. I guess I’m in shock as Hub has never really been bothered about me being overweight, he said his ex-wife was really too skinny and he didn’t find it attractive, but now he is saying he is worried about my health. As am I.
Yours truly
Fed up fat Fi
Fi’s fat file day two
I woke up this morning not wanting to kill someone. I was calm, but didn’t have that comforting smile on my face thinking of the prospect of breakfast. Instead, I ironed. There was something about the steam from the iron and the awful smell from the ironing water that even made me hungry, seriously, what is wrong with me?
My stomach didn’t feel as if it was cut, from past experiences, the first couple of days is difficult but then you are OK, but then you dip and then you either crack open a bag of crisps or you continue being strong. I haven’t yet been strong.
I have been grateful to my lovely Bloggets who have offered me some good advice about not starving myself. I’m just trying for now to not eat bread at all and no crisps or food after six in the evening. Apart from a dish of cereal. No sugar so hopefully it’s OK but to go to bed with nothing will make my little sleep less.
Day two is better than half a day and that is all I have managed over the past few years. I went on the treadmill again today as well. I don’t run, I care too much about the foundations in our house.
If you are starting some kind of regime too, please let me know and see if we can do this together?
I want to live to see. Literally to see. How long it will take and will it be in my life time? Well if I continue to inflate, I will die early or not be healthy enough to benefit from the freedom of sight. Hub said if I die, he will follow, charming, no pressure love?
Boy Wonder of course is telling me that I’m not doing enough exercise, well I can’t be pushed. If I am pushed, I will fall. Day by day, who knows, by Wednesday, I may be writing to tell you that I have failed again? I really hope not, if I do, I have no hope.
Food just doesn’t turn me on at all. Sandwiches crisps chocolate I can eat until the cows come home, but cooked food? Naah! So, you can imagine how difficult it is to eat healthy. Well I have had two bananas today and loads of salad. But I had custard and some chips too with a veggie burger without the bread of course. No crisps cake or biscuits. Yesterday I worked out I had about 1200 calories less than I normally would, even if I have a thousand less per day, that is a lot in a week? I have had the worst head ache all day I should go and get a big glass of water? Urr’rr’rrgg.
I wish I was good at this, but I’m not, I know what to do, I have been on more diets over the years than a new Mother and ate as healthy as a fitness instructor and crash dieted like a super model.
But as the years added onto me the way of life has changed, my mind has developed bad habits and I can tell you, this is tough.
It’s seven in the evening, please let me get till midnight without failing?
Yours truly
Anxious fat Fi. X
Day 3
Hello and welcome to day three of my fat file. Smile. A lovely lady, friend and Blogget told me that she is also fluffy and also is trying to lose weight. Fluffy? Haha. It’s cute, but does this mean we are hairy?
Last night before bed I would normally have cereal but I had the remains of the dish of salad instead and that got me through half of the night. About 3. a m my stomach started to talk with me. It was not like on day one as if a hormonal lady going through the menopause, more like a toddler showing signs of the terrible twos. Throwing a wobbler as I say.
Like a calm Mum, I spoke to it and had a chewing gum. Haha, normally it would be some chocolates from Christmas, see, I don’t binge eat otherwise they would be long gone. But they are still there on my bedside table. Gosh, what had come over me? Blogget power perhaps? But moreover, about nine in the evening yesterday, I received a text, from my Sons bedroom, seriously we live in a normal sized house, but he texts to ask the fatal question.
“Mum, are you hungry? We are going to get an Indian take away.””
Oh my. It was not words I had to say, so perhaps that made it easier? But only a reply by text, saying no thanks for me. But then when he came downstairs, he said he was going to get a curry and said the dreaded words.
(POPPADOMS)
Gosh I love them so much. Did you know they were made with a flour called Urid flour?
Now those of you who are using a screen reader will have to do a double take on the word Urid, I did. But that may be my age and not hearing. Haha. I thought it read urine. No, there is a d on the end.
On his return, I thought the smell would kill me. But there was none. He kindly left the empty paper bag on my kitchen worktop so I hurriedly took it outside and put it in the bin. I guess at least they put their dishes in the dish washer… Boy wonder told me how delicious it was, don’t people get trying not to eat? I smiled showed interest that they enjoyed their supper and bit my bottom lip, the restaurant was called zero spice. Haha, may be that is why I didn’t smell anything? Because there were no spices in their food? Why would you call your Indian restaurant that? Just thought of a really funny name for an Indian Restaurant, now if anyone pinches my idea, I expect nothing less than a supply of free Poppadoms please for at least a year… See what you think of this name?
(SPICEY MAMMA)
What do you think? Hahaha.
I resisted. Gosh, what has come over me? But still that was only day two, but one and a half more than I normally do. This is day three. It’s only mid-day, I have a long way to go before I reach the pumpkin hour. I’m on my own and that may be more challenging, but having said that, apart from Boy Wonders lunch that is cooked waiting for him, there won’t be any nice home cooked foods until I prepare dinner and I can easily resist dinners, though of course I will eat tonight, I just don’t know what? I have no desire to taste anything I cook. Haha. My family enjoy my cooking so it will be done with love, but me? I so love convenient food out of a bag or pack. And that is what I’m having to not buy and replace with salads and noodles. Noodles? Yep, that has been my lunch for the past three days. 460 calories but better than four slices of bread, butter with something on, right? Please say yes? When I eat sandwiches I’m still starving and going along with sandwiches, I have most times, not always a bag of crisps. But we have them from last week’s shopping in the cupboard and I have not even weakened to them.
I know I have turnip and sprouts to go with tonight’s dinner. Not a chance I can eat turnip without butter, but again, I’m not good at all at dieting, I just want to be a day prisoner, not in the jail full time. I will have a tiny amount of potatoes if any, I can do without them to be honest. As for sprouts? Urg, I hate them, I shall eat them as always for health benefits, but to me they are like swallowing an eyeball.
So, in short, this morning I woke up actually feeling good. I think I’m over the pain factor, already? Seams too good to be true and as I have said many many years ago, when I was good at this rubbish, I used to do a month at a time, but for years and years now, it’s been half a day.
When I was able to do a month, I dipped in and out of pain. Gosh I hope this time Mother nature is good and I continue as something drastic has to be done. My body cries every day in so much pain. I move like someone in their late eighties and I’m forties. But more so, my chest is wheezing like a heavy smoker. But I also blame the area we live. We are a city and my delicate lungs are not used to this muck.
I hope if you are joining me to try to get healthier, you too have got to day three or more? If you have had a weak moment, start again.
My inner voice says take control of your body and don’t allow your body to take control of you. Easier said than done, but hour by hour. I know I can fall at any moment and again I very much doubt by Friday, I will be sitting here writing my fat files. Gosh I pray I will be though. I know I’m going out I hope with my friend this week and it will I hope involve a coffee shop, but if I do that I won’t punish myself and I will eat some lovely food, but I won’t have many calories for dinner that night.
Well yours truly
Getting over the grumpy Fi
Day 4
I wrote about day three half way through my day yesterday, I was pleased with myself because I woke up without the pain of hunger, but then a fatal thing happened and I had the most enormous weakness. My Son kindly brought me a cake. Chocolate. So, in answer to some of your questions whether I have support from my family? Smile. I should have said no, but it was thick chocolate and a gift. Oh gosh, I really felt so bad eating it, that I didn’t have potatoes for dinner that night. Just two disgusting sprouts, as I said, it was like swallowing eyeballs. Not that I have any experience of eating eyeballs, but one can imagine! I had turnip, and yes with butter also parsnips and two large Yorkshire puddings. Dietitians would disown me right there. But I’m not on a diet, I hate the D word. I did them many years ago, and they don’t work for me at all.
I have a theory I always refer to our bodies as cars and cars require different petrol/gas/diesel oils and so on at different times of their lives. So why should we run on the same stuff? I’m sure my downfall is bread, so that is why I have not had any since Saturday.
Today, I will break my duck in a nice way. Poor duck. Smile. Basically, it’s a dreadful saying we have and it has nothing to do with the quacking kind, but to do with cricket. It’s a batsman’s dismissal for a score of 0, therefore when one breaks one’s duck, they have scored over zero It’s an English idiom meaning to do something you haven’t done for a long time. Okay, it’s only day four, but it seems like at least day seven….
Last night’s dinner and cake didn’t resort to a good evening. Gosh I was starving all night. So, salad fills me more than vegetables. Hub told me I was like a druggy coming off something. I really feel as if I’m going through cold turkey. I believe that saying comes from the US. Some say it means to talk directly, to stop something abruptly.
Last night I feared the outcome. Our shopping came, bags of salads. Haha, Hub put the fridge stuff away, it was so funny, I told him I was going to eat healthier, so be it. Gosh, I will look like a rabbit when I’m done. Last night salad wasn’t on my mind, but toast was, hot toast with melting butter. MMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMMmmm
But can you believe it, I declined.
I ate fruit to compensate for my mistakes through that day. What is it they say? A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips?
So, that was yesterday, today is today. Another day when I must try to end the day better than my start as I’m out for lunch with my lovely friend. See how I get on.
My friend and Blogget bless her, has been trying to lose some weight and has gained 2lbs. There is nothing worse than doing well and that happening. And the other night before bed, she ate a apple, so how good was that? I haven’t spoken to her yet but I will do to see what she is doing differently. I know if I have a slice of toast in the morning with beans or eggs on, and some fruit, then a small lunch then small dinner, I will be hungry all day and I know with past experience, I will go up and up like a balloon, this is why diets don’t work for me. This is why I’m trying to cut out the thing that makes me sluggish, bread. If I feel sluggish, I will not want to move and moving really works to lose weight. My mind is saying I feel bloated and my mind then talks to my body. I do believe that weight loss has to do with something to do with our mental health.
Right now, I’m going mental to get healthy. Haha. I dare not get on the scales. I will in a couple of days, that will be six days since I cut out bread. If the lady trapped inside of my talking scales tells me A, to stop having a laugh
B say, I can’t count that many numbers or C, I have gained weight, I would be devastated, I hope the least they will say is that I have stayed the same. Even if I have lost 1lb, that would be four per month and it’s better than putting four on per month. This is why I don’t want to diet because if I do, I really would suffer, but as it is, I’m not suffering. Going back to what I said about your mind talking to your body, if your mind is starved of delights, it surely will sulk with your body and if your mind and body don’t communicate, then what chance will we have?
Who knows may be what I’m trying to do will be a complete waste of time but I have tried everything in my life this is the last resort.
So, day four, I got this far, I hope I get to bedtime and can put my head on my pillow and feel proud though I will have had bread today, I shall not eat a meal other than some salad for my evening meal and I won’t have had crisps or biscuits. Mind you, there is the coffee shop coming up…
However well you are doing today, I hope it’s in the right direction.
The thing is with my friend, she has put 2 lbs on so if she is like me and says stuff it now, then where is there to go? When that happens to me, I get really cross and rebel and eat more. By doing that, before I know it, I’m 7lbs overweight then a stone. 2lbs is retrievable. Don’t get angry, get even.
Please let me get over day four and make day five even better? Then day six and that is when I’m going to weigh myself. As it is now, I don’t feel hungry during the day, I’m not waking up in the mornings starving, it’s evenings and during the night I have a problem. Stay strong and try to carry on, just hour by hour as hours make a day.
I end this blog on some quotes
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
And I love this one from George Eliot
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
So, if you have had a weak day today, show yourself just how strong you can be and take over, mind over matter, tell your mind that your health matters. And that person you really want to be, is there for you to own. X
Day 5
Well, yesterday I was delighted when it came to bedtime. I had no breakfast just some grapes and went out for lunch. I knew I would be naughty at lunch time, but being naughty is all I am good at. So, there you go… My favourite coffee shop was closed getting refurbished so it was a pub for me and my friend. Homemade chips and delicious sandwiches with salad. Then a coffee and a flap jack. I must say, I doubt the flap jack was very calorific as it wasn’t the best. Tasted as if gluten free. So, in other words, no taste. But the company and laughter made up for that and the coffee was lovely.
I returned home buzzing with good company feeling full with laughter. Hub had been working from home, I really thought he would have started to make the dinner, at least got something out of the freezer. Haha. Nope, he said he had not stopped writing and phone calls. I must say when I left him, he had been working hard since eight that morning. Boy wonder had been in an hour, not sure how he even survived, but thankfully he decided to go and have a sleep whilst I hurried and cooked sausage and chips. I had nothing at all. I wasn’t hungry so why eat?
Eight in the evening came, I still wasn’t at all wanting food, this was odd. One meal that day? I ate some nuts though, just for vitamin K. Something vegetarians need. Then by half eleven I still had no pain or desire for food, so I knew if I went to bed with nothing, I would be ill during the night and it would be hell for me. So, I ate two pears.
I woke this morning feeling fine, it was a strange evening as boy wonder didn’t get in until almost one this morning, even though he was up for work at half five. Hub was up at four this morning. He had a train to catch and it was a train that requires loads of changes. Three and a half hours each way he would be in transit. He won’t be home until almost nine tonight.
I came downstairs at quarter to nine and saw the kitchen was full of dishes. The dish washer had been on, so needed emptying. I did that then filled it again. Cleaned the work tops in the kitchen and did doggy duty. Then I was ready for a cup of tea. I have an angry feeling today, it wasn’t helped by a cross Son returning home for lunch. I knew had his lunch to do so ate a pack of six, yes, six, see, I can’t do two. Six tiny pastries of cheese and spinach. They are the size of four thumb nails put together. I felt rubbish afterwards as in calories, they were as many as the four toasts I have removed from my daily food, apart from yesterday’s sandwich. Which I don’t regret because I’m not on a diet, I’m trying to cut out food and not eat suppers.
I made a huge dish of salad and spoke to myself about what to make for dinner tonight, as boy wonder is home with our girly and much later Hub. So, for tonight’s dinner, I shall just have a huge salad. Then hopefully, I can go all night with perhaps some cereal before bed, or fruit. Though the acid of yesterday’s fruit on an empty stomach didn’t feel happy as I put my head upon my pillow.
If I can do the salad only, again no bread today or potatoes and another day without crisps. It will be hard this weekend as we are seeing our friend and a meal or two will be involved. This scares me witless, but let’s see what happens. This is the thing, you feel a party pooper. Eating for me is something you do as a group. It’s like people think we are odd because we don’t drink though Hub will be a bit this weekend as again, feels as if he should because our friend likes to. But I shall let him take that responsibility and I shall just be the company my friend comes to see. I hope… Could be Hubs good looks. Smile. She did tell me when I introduced her to him eight years ago, that she thought he was really handsome… haha.
My friend who put 2lbs on went out for two meals, so I said I would have put on 2 stone if I had done that.
My Son came home for lunch and it was a stressful one. Words were said that didn’t make me feel positive I was on a roll too. It was my own fault. I suggested that he was eating too many take away. His girlfriend lives on them and sadly he does too now, but I should shut my mouth and as long as he out lives me, so be it. Shame of his children though. I told him what I was cooking for dinner tonight he told me Shamrock was also bringing him food. Last night he ate with Hub and then went to Shamrocks for round two. Hahaha. It’s not blooming fair, if I were to eat like him, can you imagine?
So, what I was saying yesterday about the mind and mind over matter? Today isn’t a good one. So now I’m going to get active with housework and then may pop out with Waggatail.
Do I feel any thinner? At nights, I do. But tomorrow, day 6, if I get there, is the big weigh in. Let’s see. As long as I haven’t put on weight, as that is always what has happened in the past when I have gone on proper diets.
Motivational quotes for today?
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Old Chinese Proverb
“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” ~William Faulkner
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.” ~Mike Murdock
“Believe while others are doubting.” ~William Arthur Ward
How are you all doing? I hope you are happy? Let’s see if I get this day over with.
Yours truly
Hesitant Fi
Day 6
Well, if you read my blog later, not my fat file, but my Diary, you will laugh your gym shorts off. Let’s just say, the slim Gods were working hard last night and the outcome was hilarious.
I went to bed last night on an apple. Well, actually on a bed, but I ate an apple! During the day, I ate salad for dinner with gnocchi. More of that than I wished for as boy wonder served it as I spoke with Shamrock. Oh, my seriously, you will have to read my Diary blog later about our night, every time I think of Shamrock, Boy Wonders girlfriend, I laugh. Last night was crazy, anyway, back to yesterday. Lunch I ate some small pastries so that wasn’t good, but no bread, no crisps.
Today? Hmm. Today was a bad one so far and we are only up to lunch time. I had the other pack of the pastries. If you know what a sausage role is from the bakers, it is the equivalent of two of those. But with cheese and spinach. So, no good with the pastry, but then I did a sin. My first slip. I opened a large bag of crisps/potato chips. I ate half of the bag. I hate myself for that but have to tell myself at least it has been done in the morning and not the evening and for dinner tonight, I will have only salad. I haven’t craved for toast yesterday or today or bread at all. I can’t believe that. If I had not have bought the pastries in, or the crisps, then they wouldn’t be here for me to eat. Sometimes if there is nothing but salad though or cold fruit, then that is when I will turn to bread and bread is what I really feel like I need to give up.
But here we are on day 6 and my first bad moment. And as I said a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips, but I ate them quickly, so hopefully it was less than a moment. Smile. No cake apart from one my Son brought me it was a cup cake and he brought me another that went in the bin. I felt bad but he knows I’m trying to cut out on those kinds of things and it’s all about life change I guess.
Because of yesterday I’m not weighing myself today but will have to do it tomorrow as we are meeting up with our friend this weekend for a meal or two and though I will try to eat as best as you can as a vegetarian when out, it will still be more than what I have been having at home. I won’t be having dessert, that is for sure.
How do I feel physically? To be honest? I have more energy. When I say more, I mean more than I had which was none at all. So, if the most energetic person feels 10, and the least those who just want to sit in a chair all day is 1, I was a 3, because I had to get up from my comfort and do housework and cook for my family but I say 3 because I did get up, my mind and body would say 2.
Now? I would give my score an energy total of 4 and to me this is what this is all about. I haven’t done a week yet, and I’m up to a four and I think this is how I am going to have to face reality it’s a life style that has to be for life. I’m not the young girl who can crash diet and loss weight fast or cut out and loss lbs, my fluff as my American friends say is comfortable and will take some moving. Thing is, my joints are not comfortable, my bones ache. My stomach is more free now since I have stopped eating bread. And my breathing is slightly better, gosh, I sound a right one, don’t I?
Friends who only know me by photograph, say I look lovely, pretty and not overweight at all. Not sure what photo shoot I used but must look their number up hahaha.
Interestingly enough, I’m not at all tired of salads. I have been buying the ready-made ones and adding cucumber, tomatoes, celery onions and beetroot. You may ask what the heck was or is, in the made salads? Well different kinds of leaves and carrots with thinly cut white cabbage. Oh, sweetcorn too. Which reminds me, I must cook the baby corn that is in our fridge tonight. I think I will make fish for the family and that will go with the salad I shall have and they can have new potatoes with herbs. I’m very very happy that I have only had one potatoes this week, a baked one and one naughty portion of chips when I had a cheeky lunch with my friend. Bread and potatoes are my main diet and I was having four slices of bread for breakfast, sometimes some for dinner and sometimes for supper so in total I could have up to eight slices per day. I was having five bags of crisps per week 18g per bag and some kind of chocolate biscuit of some homemade cake in a week. So, in comparison, really not to beat myself too much, I have done well. I’m not saying anything to my friend this weekend and see if she notices, because I used to say she ate like a fly and she does. She can go all day on one slice of toast for breakfast and a tiny lunch with half a dinner in the evenings. But, she drinks a lot if I did, I can’t imagine how heavy I would be. My friend is lovely and slim, very tall too, thankfully I’m tall, God help me more if I were shorter. They could role me like a cheese.
Some quotes.
“It’s not the mistakes in life that are important; it’s what we learn from them.” ~Donna Guthrie
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” ~Michael Jordan
“If you start to drowned, learn to swim”
Fiona Cummings
Yours truly
Sinful Fi
Day 7
Will I, do it? Well firstly I can’t believe I have got to this day. I have lost a huge, hmm, not, 1 and a quarter lb. So, nothing really, but, I have not gained a single bit of weight. I haven’t exorcized and I feel better in myself, something that I have been able to do and stick to it. Okay, it’s only a week, in days, but heading in the right direction. The tortoise will get there in the end but the impatient butterfly won’t because they are too busy flittering from flower to flower. Thank you for all of your support and I really hope you can try with me I’m still going to do this let’s see how this weekend goes, I’m waiting for my friend and food will be involved so let’s see how I cope? I feel so pleased though and each night rather than feel a failure in life, I felt proud and that is worth the pain and it has been painful I’m not going to lie.
I will let you know more when my friend leaves for London. Some quotes before I go and if you have got over day one, wow, well done.
“A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” ~Patricia Neal
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Old Chinese Proverb
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~Dr. Denis Waitley
Yours truly
Shocked Fi
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