HOPELESS

Good evening. Well Hub and I went to our chemist and Waggatail did great, thank God after her disaster, the other night when she got me totally lost. I will give her the highest marks ever. Nine out of ten. Don’t dogs totally humiliate you though? We were in the chemist minding our own business and the lady serving us screamed. Hahaha. Waggatail was licking her bare toes. She had sandles on and Wags decided to wash her feet. Oh my dog is very kind don’t you think? I mean, if a human was to do such a thing, whilst in the chemist, we would get some rather odd looks, wouldn’t we?

Hub made his home made fish pie, and I must say it smelt so much better when it came out than when it went in the oven?

Teen is fishing with his friend now and I told him not to catch anything, as I can’t bare the thought of him hurting a poor fish?

Hub went for his job interview and after a very long and serious interview, he has been asked to go back for another. First it was out of about 74 people, and now down to six.

He’s done great to get this far.

 We are sitting in our conservatory now, Hub has the radio on. I just heard a funny childish joke.

Did you hear about the woman who stole some watches?

She’s doing time!

 I know, it’s childish but I’m a child at heart.

Another night is here. They seem to come and go. My life has to be one of the most boring I know of. I wake, clean, write cook and go to bed. What would be my dream day but keeping it real?

I would wake up and take breakfast in our conservatory, the sun would be shining and the birds would be singing. The three of us would be around the table and we would be laughing and chatting about happy times and just general chit chat.

We would all help to clean up the breakfast; I would clean, and then go off to work. As would my Husband and Son.

Come back from work and groom my two out of three dogs. Take one for a walk, bring her back and then take the other. My Son would come home from his job and we would take tea and talk about our day. Then I would make evening dinner and my Husband would come home from his job and we would have evening dinner together. Again, all clean up after the meal, then Teen would go out with his friends and Hub and I would either enjoy the company of each other, go to the cinema or theatre.

Once a year have a family holiday. Is this too much? Too extravagant? Greedy? No I really don’t think so, I’m not asking for designer clothes or expencive meals out, visits to the beautician or hair dressers every few weeks. I think this is a normal life but for me normal is good.

We were just thinking about a holiday, if my Husband gets this job, then a holiday will be lovely. We havent had one for two years. I need so much the sun.

I’m sitting here at home in my living room with my coat on. I’m so cold it’s ridiculous. I don’t know what on earth is wrong with me? Since my Hysterectomy, I am freezing or if I’m out when I want to look my best, I am boiling. My thermostat is broken.

I need my boiler checked out? Haha.

Just wondering what do you do about letters if you can’t see print and don’t read Braille?

Such a hopeless place to be in right?

It was really difficult for me growing up as the first school for the blind I went to, taught Braille. The Doctors in Russia where I went for eye treatment didn’t agree with me learning Braille as I have spoken about before, so I did print, this is OK, and I could see enough to do that then. Now? Nope. No sight, no Braille and no letters get read by me. I hate it. I feel like a child in the house. My Husband has just come in and I asked what he has been doing. He said reading the mail. I asked who the letters were from? He said no one, just rubbish.

OK, so ghostly letters obviously?

You know the kind of mail which is invisible?

It was the same when I lived with my X Husband; I never knew what was going on. You just feel really really left out.

I have tried learning Braille, but really needed help. I asked our local blind societies and will never forget when they were horrified about such a request.

I also feel ashamed you know, it’s like saying I’m 33?

In my dreams, OK?

And I can’t read! I know if I got my sight back I would still be able to read print, even now you know, I’m touch typing, letters are being read back to me through my talking software and as the voice reads R. e. a. d. s

I can still picture the letters in my mind. Thank God something has stuck? I mean, as I said a few blogs ago, I can’t remember some faces like my Mums God bless her. I remember my Dad’s and my x Husbands so well, perhaps it’s a female thing? I think it may be you know, as I remember my Brothers face but not my Nieces.

OK I need to write some poetry right now, not sure what about, but feel a serious one coming up. I never ever know what I am going to write about unless someone asks me to write about a particular subject. I write a word and then let the inner person take over with their words, so God knows what will be tonight. Here goes. Xxxxx