So we went off to our em. Hotel?
Hahahahaha.
Well, not quite.
My friend said it didn’t look quite as she expected. I
thought, oh what? Hahaha.
As we got out of the car into the beautiful sunshine, we
headed to the doors of our first nights stay.
Oh God, the smell of the foist flung itself furiously in our
faces.
A punch in the nose. I thought, that is not a good start?
The receptionist was friendly but handed us one key.
One key for our quote, “double room?
We informed the girl, we had booked a twin room. In
otherwords, a room with two single beds,not one double bed?
She said that they had no twin rooms and only double. I said
OK, can we have two double rooms then? Answer, no.
She then said see what we thought of the room, the bed may
be good enough for us, but if not, there were no alternatives.
Well, we expected to just take a lift to our room,
Lift?
Em
No!
In fact, our room, wasn’t even in the same building.
Up three steps, down two steps, out of the back door. My
friend cracked me up saying that we were to use the traidsmans enterance.
Down two other steps outside and along a tiny bit of concrete.
Up four enormous steps onto some grass and across the path. Well we laughed as
the place boasted on line that it was in acres of land? Acres?
Em
No!
As for the beautiful countryside it boasted, well, there
were a few trees which held a few crows.
So across the tarmac and around a group of buildings that my
friend said looked like Grandma’s old cottages. Hahahaha. Oh God, we got to our
door. Used the key, and couldn’t get in. Tried the second time with the other
key on the ring and bingo, we were in. The locks were really high and very old
and rusty. The inteeriour doors were kind of like a plastic coated.
Oh heck, you should have seen the bed? My friend and I were
to share?
It wasn’t even a double bed, it was a three quarter bed.
Now, if I lay on my back, I almost filled the bed, my friend is tiny, but she
would not be able to lay on her back, that was for sure. Hahahahaa
I just couldn’t imagine how this was going to turn out?
The room had everything you would wan’t. A trouser press,
mind you, not quite sure who uses a trouser press these days? A hair dryer and
toiletries as well as a kettle and cups, but no spoons. My friend made a cup of
tea for us and we did laugh when she handed me the cup with the tea bag still
in it and she joked again saying it was a good job we didn’t take sugar?
There was a note pad without a pen and the place was so
cold. There were no switches for the heating, so we phoned, yes there was even
a phone.
The receptionist said she would send up help.
The man my friend called learch. A TV carictor. But it got warm. Then my friend couldn’t see
as the lights didn’t work. Hahahhahahaha. I told her I would help her to find
the way.
We went to dinner, needless to say, we didn’t change for
dinner, as felt rather over dressed for the place as it was.
Oh the night got better. We were to have a tour of the
wonderful place.
So after leaving our door, around the ramp over the tarmac
and grassy verge. Down the huge steps and back up again, we were told to turn
around to go on the tour and start again all the way back to where we had just
come from. We were like a line of ants. Everyone was rather serious but not my
friend and myself. WE laughed like naughty school girls, couldn’t believe how
we had just come from the same place, but this time, we were to visit the
“fitnesscentre!”
Oh yes, we had a fitness centre.
We passed our room, still outside around the houses. Oh,
sorry, I mean the hotel? With the cars passing on the street outside our rooms.
Basicly, it was a street of houses turned into the hotel that we learned can’t
be called a hotel. Hmm.
The fitness centre was one other little house, a room, and
we all, all 21 of us, walked in, as two girls were working out. We were sure
the girls were staff. Haha. Paid to pose for our benefit.
Fitness centre? Oh God, me sides, if not for my friend and
her dry sense of humour, she made it worse, I couldn’t keep a straight face
with her little comments.
So, all the way back and we had before drinks. My lovely
drink was?
Orange cordial.
Oh, and sodour. I was so hot and enjoyed it.
But I did laugh only inside when the girl told me it was
cordial. Just sounded really childish.
It was then when we met Mrs Frosty knickers as my friend
named her. Hehehehehehhehehehe
Oh my God. We were approached by the maniger. She was so
rude to us. She insisted that we told her of my disability. This is how the
conversation went.
Frosty knickers “excuse me, can I ask you is there something
I should know about?
Me. Em, no!” Of course I knew what she was on about, but was
I hell going to make her life easy as she was a horror.
Frosty. “Have you got a disability? I should have said no,
but I answered yes, oh then she asked what it was? Hahahhahahaha. I should have
said I was in a wheelchair the stupid woman. I said I was blind, then wait for
it Bloggets. Just wait for this one?
“Oh I need to know these things, so I can inform the fire brigade?
Hahahaha.
Say what?
My friend was in shock, she asked me as we went to dinner,
why did the fire brigade need to know about me? Hehehehehe. Oh God we did
laugh, as I made up a story about through the night a fireman would just burst
through my door. For no reason, only because Frosty knickers said he should and
we must all do what Mrs. Frosty says, right? Em, nope.
We all had to sit on
a large table I stook to it. It was a sticky mess. The table
was so old and God knows what was on there?
But as I sat next to the bar maniger, my friend whispered
among the noise how he looked? Again, she was really amusing, so funny. He had
a comb over and the other bits of hair he had, were sticking up all over. But
he was a nice guy.
I tell you, the food was lovely, I am serious, really nice
and I don’t eat goats chees, I think that should be left for the goats, so they
made me something not on the choice of
two things on the menu, they made me a delicious Chinese meal. So we had three
courses and really, it was lovely and the staff were great, we had the choice
of two tables to sit on and we made sure we didn’t’ sit on Mrs Frosty knickers
table.
The conversation was hard as it was noisy, but between the
barmans voices and my friends, it went OK. I learned that the place couldn’t be
called a hotel. Cadbury’s bought the land and these were the houses for the
workers. Frosty was on the other table telling everyone that twin rooms wouldn’t
work. Well, it was up to everyone to tell her and the barman what we thought of
the place. We tried, she wouldn’t listen. The barman was great he, did.
After the meal, it became funnier. As the guy who got us all
together, began to give a speech about the place being quotes quirky
Frosty knickers was standing behind him, listening to how he
compared the place to a Catholic hostel in Durham without mirrors and one hair
dryer for all the guests. Haha. I don’t think she would be happy about that, do
you? He also said that this place could be given a chance, if the staff would
listen to us as we were not the guinea
pigs, more like the labotory rats? Hahahahaha.
Cheeky?
He just kept putting his foot in everything he said, considering
we got a free nights stay. Oh as I asked the guy about the second night, saying
would we get a twin room then? He was shocked as he said
“Oh no, there is not stay over the second night, only a meal
at the nice hotel.
Hahahahahaha. Oh God, my poor friend, had brought two lovely
dresses for the posh hotel the next day and her bathing costume and even shaved
her legs for the occasion.
I told my friend she should say
“No stay at the other place? Don’t you know I have shaved my
legs?
But she didn’t’
It was funny though the stuff we took for one night?
So to bed? More on that later.
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