HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

  Good morning Bloggets. Well, my eye drops so far haven’t done any good. I still feel as though I have a finger in my eye and still seeing that awful shadow, but I am at the Doctors next week. Now then, will I see a Doctor? A cleaner? A nurse? Or, a patient?

May be all of them just hope that it is a Doctor who looks at my eye, oh I forgot haha, I may end up seeing a Louis?

That’ won’t make sense if you didn’t read yesterday’s blog.

Anyway, todays another day. I have received so much support of late from some really beautiful people as far as my writing is concerned and I feel very blessed for this, totally grateful and this really helps me to continue writing. This week I have received words from people who say again, they wake up to my blogs and it helps them to get through the day, whether it being at work in a difficult environment, needing a break from the stress of work, or if they are alone in their houses, this page is the only contact to the real world as they know it. Well this is why I write. To reach people like you all who in a lot of ways are like prisoners. Trapped inside a place they really shouldn’t be, but perhaps feel more comfortable being there or circumstances prevail them from leaving the house or whatever their captive enclosure may be? I do receive funny emails or notes from other forms of networking saying in the lunch hours, they eat their sandwiches and read what I have to say and they have a chuckle. Haha. Well, I hope they chuckle when the blogs are funny and not when they are dark as you all know me by now; I have my fair share of dark blogs?

Last night for the boy’s tea, it was a very late one as Hub working in our town and teen was out till after ten. So I cooked this gross slimy fish, oh God, I could be sick. It’s worse than chicken? All slimy

Being a vegetarian, this is not a good feel. The boys loved it though; I must say it did look rather healthy. With the exception of the buttery mash potato haha. I cooked the fish in the oven with butter and herbs, pepper too and a tiny bit of oil so it wouldn’t stick. Grilled some fresh tomatoes and spinach.

Another day of wondering what to cook. God, if you are the main cook in your house, do you ever get so sick on thinking what to prepare? Really I hate it. I cook, the boys love what I do but I really don’t put any passion into my cooking, in fact, the opposite. You would not want me to be near you when I’m cooking. Hehehe. The only time I quite enjoy cooking is when Hub and I are making the Christmas dinner, then the Christmas songs are being played and the smells are so exciting for the big red man coming down my chimney. That’s not a euphemism by the way and I don’t have a chimney, but you get the picture?

You don’t?

Oh. Hahaha.

Cooking when you can’t see can be challenging and  I know if I lived on my own, I wouldn’t bother ever cooking and this is so very bad for your health, mind you, I think if I lived on my own, I would eat one  big meal out per day.

I felt so very sorry for a girl I know yesterday. She has really been dealt a very bad hand of cards in life.

She has had a lot of pain. Blind from a young child, her Mother doesn’t want to know her, her Father is no good for her and at the age of thirty, she at last finds her first proper boyfriend. They get engaged and plan to marry. Then guess what? He dies. Aged 37.

Oh my heart hurts so much for her. She was so happy this year to have her very first valentine, a week later; he’s gone out of her life.

She was at a pub yesterday, eating her dinner, on her own. How blooming awful this must have been? This worries me about my x, he really needs a good person to be with him when he is older and I know my Son wishes for this too.

I hate people being alone. I think it is the cruellest thing to be thrown upon anyone.

Mother’s day coming up in the UK.

For some reason, I’m dreading this year. I know why and if you are big time readers of my blog page, you also will know why?

It will be hard for my x as this will be the first one without his Mother, bless her, she died last April. And you know you just can’t escape the day. I must have deleted about eight emails from different companies over the past two days saying what you can do for your Mother.

Well, you should do for your Mother every day, right?

I hope my darling Hubs Mum, my Mum and my exes Mum all have a party wherever they are. Most of my friends too have lost their Mothers. God we are getting old, aren’t we?

I mean, when you suddenly are top of the tree, its scary; at least the x had his Mum until he was quite an age himself. I was thirty when mine died and same when my Dad died. Too young.

I just don’t want Mother’s day this year. I wish I could go away the night before and stay away till the Monday. But we can’t do that.

So today I have to dust, do the floors as ever and give my kitchen a good clean only to start cooking later and have it like a bombsite again.

I should wash my windows, but really it’s too cold to be out there with water.

After a tough night last night, I hope for a more relaxed one today?

So this blog. I want you to know that if you are alone, know I am collectively thinking of you all not only today but every day I put pen to paper if you like.

For those like me who miss their Mums every day, stay strong and I hope there is an afterlife and they are in a world of silk sheets, fine feathered pillows, soft lamb’s wool blankets, and a cloud for a bed, floating above thousands of fragrant roses. I hope they have the sounds of the streams in the background to swish them to sleep and may they wake to a sunshiny day and a genuine smile from people from the past all around them, filling them with hope, belief and the knowledge that one day, their children will once again be able to say

“Happy Mother’s day!