It’s Monday. So we in general don’t like Mondays? Well, just
to give you food for thought, No matter when you are reading this, you are
fewer than five days away from the weekend.
Now what can we say about the next five days? So much can
happen in five days. You could meet your first love. Be reunited with your first
love. It was around now six years ago, when I was reunited with mine, after 28
years of being apart.
Thanks to two lovely people we went to school with, Jan and
Dave, who organised a reunion, my now Hub and I met again.
I went onto the school website and found my first love. We emailed
each other and phoned one another. It was weird to hear his voice, last time I
heard him, he was 12.
He and I met at the
age of six. There was something between us I can’t explain, looking back, I now
understand more than ever, the feelings I had were psychic. From a very young
child, I saw and felt things that were just not the norm. Whenever I looked
across the classroom at my now Hub, my heart melted. I had butterflies dancing
inside of my stomach. We were in school plays together and he and I one year
had parts in the play where we had to act together. One moment in the act, I
said words to him and had to help him on with a cloak. He then had to sing.
Well, my Husband always has been able to knock out a tune. He as a child had
the most amazing voice and was always picked at school for the lead parts. As
he sang on stage, I could only watch as this wonder before me froze the audience
with his talent. As I looked at him, I fell so much in love, though was only
eleven at the time and didn’t understand the feelings I was having, but even
today, I still can have that feeling in my soul. That feeling never left me.
We parted in a very cruel way. We had to go to different boarding
schools. Different sides of the country. I didn’t read Braille, he couldn’t
read print, as he always has been blind and it was before the days of mobile
phones and emails.
We were on a train, just on our way back from a tour of
Germany with the school choir. I heard the dreaded words it was time for my now
Husband to leave the train. I had another two stops. As he came towards me, I
looked into his eyes, his sad face. I hugged him and we both parted.
My heart broke. He told me he went home and stayed in his
bedroom for days just crying.
See, it wasn’t just a little boy and girlfriend
relationship. There was something telling us, we were born to be together.
I never ever stopped thinking about him, but never thought
we would meet again. All through the years, I saw people on the TV who reminded
me of my now and forever Husband. Andrea Bocelli I was sure looked like him. I
took what hub looked like as a child and added adult features on him.
So fast forward 28 years? I was married, as was he but I
didn’t know this until weeks after we had made the connection, as he spoke of
his daughters on the school website only. In emails, spoke of how proud he was
of his girls and how much he loved them. Nothing of a wife.
I had told my ex at Christmas our marriage was over. My Son
and I had gone through a hellish Christmas Eve with him and I knew now our
relationship was really affecting my Son. As a young child, I could protect him
more, not now he was then eleven.
I began to make plans to leave with my boy. A messy and
horrible story followed and to cut a long story short, the first email I sent
to my now Hub read
I was Fiona Cummings, do you remember me?
His reply was immediate.
“Remember you? How could I ever forget! You are the love of
my life.”
And the rest they say is history. I can honestly say that I
had no intention of getting back with my first love when I sent that email, but
I can also say hand on heart, that something, not sure what, but something
pushed us together. The school reunion also took part the year before and
neither one of us had any intention of going. But something made me take a look
that year, something made it possible for us to communicate.
You can live life for others, or sometimes, just do for you.
I never ever did for me. I used to visit my parents three times a week when I
was married to my ex. I would clean for them and just keep them company. My ex
and I would take them out, as if we didn’t they would never leave the house. I
know looking back, my Mum suffered with depression, though I’m sure she wasn’t
aware of it.
I used to have to force her out. Not because I wanted to be
with her out and about, we fought like cat and dog, but I loved her so much and
knew being in the house wasn’t good for her and my ex was great, he loved them
more than his parents and my parents loved him more than his, so the
relationship worked well and my ex as I have said before, was a great Son in
law.
I had gone through my life looking after my ex. cooking,
cleaning, ironing his clothes and just being there for his every need.
After many years of marriage, I took myself to college for
six years, but I did that to show others, I wasn’t the blind girl who was
without a brain. I could say I had A’s and distinctions for my work, having
said that, where is the proof? I still feel today that I am nothing, but at least
now I am happy. I am very much loved by my Husband and I have the biggest connection
with life and the possibility of something stronger and with such power.
I am sure that our lives are mapped out for us, but we have
to learn to read the signs. If we don’t, it’s very easy to go on the wrong path
and at 17; I went on the wrong path with my ex. Over 22 years we were married
and I hope now, he is happy, because I had to do what I did. Now I have my love
back. I thank our maker each day. I really can say our souls are reunited and I
am so happy to know Hubs girls are doing
so well in life too. I am also so proud of them. I expect they will always have
a place in their minds, their hearts whereby I am the wicked Step Mother, but I
pray that one day, they will understand why what happened. I love the girls and
to me they are my family. My Husband misses them so much. His heart breaks for
them, but at least now, we see them and we have a future. I look forward to
their children coming to visit and possibly stay with their Grandparents and
more so I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me from taking their
Father away from them. But away only as far as living in the same house, as far
as stopping their Dad from loving them, never. He worships them. But he was
very unhappy in life; he also did life, for the girls and his ex, as for him?
Like me, didn’t until we met. So some would say we shouldn’t have done what we
did, but why? We are so happy. So in love. I only want the best for him and he
lived with his ex in the latter years, for his children. They have turned out
so well. The years when he played games with them, cooked for them, cleaned and
taught them have brought out lovely girls. Whatever their Mum has done in the
past six years and with their determination, they are fantastically strong
children who we all love so much.
They will be able to say that their Dad is happy and when he
leaves this world, I hope they will know that he was. Unlike my poor parents
who were so unhappy in life. If we only get one chance in life, and there is no
other world after this one, then live it for others, but remember you?
. If there is another life after this one, and I am sure
there is, then we take what we leave behind here, eventually.
Angels do exist, I’m sure. Hub and I had our angel come
through, just took longer than it should have, having said that, perhaps Hubs
ex needed Hub to help her financially to achieve all she has achieved now. With
her talent. My ex needed me for sure as when I met him; he was in a really bad
way. So we have done our part for others, and still will be there for other
people always, but in the corner, every Monday, I know that the little boy and
girl from all those years ago, found again love stronger than anything they
have ever experienced before.
No comments:
Post a Comment