CONFESSIONS OF OUR WINDOWCLEANER

Good morning, afternoon or evening, where ever you are. Well, it was a bit of a red moment for me this morning, and I don’t mean the beautiful sun set.

 

Let’s fast forward the first part of it, hmm. And jog onto the second part. Well, my window cleaner came… I went to get the key to our gate to open it for him. He is a lovely guy, very honest but let’s say, if he were a picnic basket, sandwiches would be missing.

 

But he cleans my windows very well, though only comes about every three months, Goodness knows what he is doing in the meanwhile? Or where he is? At our last house, oh I have written about it before. I swear they only came when they had been released from jail. You would hear their van pulling up, then there were so many of them in it, the door opened and they literally fell out.  It was a rust bucket on wheels, they grunted and made other animal sounds, but were again honest people. Their prices were low; as I’m sure they too couldn’t count too high? Hahahaha. They always were fighting too. Never could understand what the heck they were saying, but oh boy they said something, as the grunts got rather violent. Hub and I would sit jaws dropping as the sounds would come and go, then the silence of the street and we would turn to each other and sigh. Few, another few months before bracing ourselves for the next round.

 

Well, this lot, em. I opened the gate. Last time I saw them was about October, as I keep saying, if my windows look dirty, I will tell my visitors they must have cataracts. Hahahaha.

 

As he came through my gate, he said

It’s cold, in it?

I replied, yes, I didn’t like to say, it’s winter?

 

I did say your poor hands must be so cold in the water? He replied

“I make sure I use boiling water.” I wondered where he gets his boiling water from?

He then told me he was wearing his Mums gloves…

So now I have this impression of him in pink fluffy gloves, with steam coming from them.

 

Then he asked if I had a good Christmas? I told him yes and reciprocated his kind enquiry.

 

He said

And I quote.

“Oh, it wah great.

Wuh, add, bout, undred, kids round our ous.”

I replied

“One hundred children? In your house? Gosh, wow? He answered

“It wah wild. Ous got smashed up big time, oh it were a great time.”

Sounds it love.

He continued

“All wah going OK, until meh Granny’s (fella) started tih

 Teck fits”

Hehehehehahahahaha. Oh my word? Em, firstly, granny’s fella? As in boyfriend? Go Granny, get em.

 

I asked with concern, oh dear, was he Okay?

Answer?

“Oh yeah, just add tih much tih drink, got plastered and add fits.

 

So in English, he had one hundred children at his house on Christmas day, his Granny’s boyfriend got too drunk and began to take fits. Oh the house got smashed up, but it was a great party.

 

I asked him if he had change, he said he didn’t know? Hahahhahaha. I gave him the money and told him not to bother with the change as it was his Christmas tip. Bless him; he may need it to buy gloves for himself. I wonder what his poor Mum will use today? Hehehehehe. Granny’s gloves?

 

I’m sure Granny’s hands will be kept warm with her fella?

Yack?

Anyway, our windows are clean and he has gone for another three plus months, he is so sweet though.

 

My dogs are both here today. Playing with their toys. You would not think our oldest dog was over eight, the energy she has is more than our young one. They are running back and forward with toys in their mouths. Chasing each other. It’s so cute.

 

Teen just left his friend picked him up.

 

You know he is still ill but won’t go to the Doctors. So what can I do?

 

Oh when our kids were little, it was so much easier?

 

He has bought the parts to build a new IPhone. God help us if it doesn’t work? I don’t know why he won’t buy a new one? Or second hand. He got money for Christmas, but spent it on another.

 

I gave my birds some hot pop tarts today for their breakfast. They are going mad in the garden, I think next door either has a bush with berries, or delights on the bird table.

 

Oh tomorrow a busy day. So many people due. Oh my word. Dreading it. Not friends or family, but delivery people. Long story, will tell you more tomorrow, no doubt I will make a total fool of myself somehow?

 

It’s sunny, snow kissed our area and left. Ice all away by last night. Off to iron now. Then the fun of the dog run. Oh the joys of my life… Not.

Later gators