translate

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

DIARY OF EMBARRASING MOMENTS


Good morning Bloggets. How are we all today? Me? Thanks for asking, well, I’m freezing, tired and happy to be writing to you all.

Whilst snow lies gently on the ground outside of my invisible window, I shiver in my house, which is crazy as the heating is on, but I may have to turn it up for the third time. I’m sure it’s not that cold in the house, but I am very chilli. To my bones, whilst my Brother and Sister in law are sunning it in Jamaica. I hope they love their holiday, oh and more so I hope they are prepared for cold weather when they return, with jumpers in their cases, as this cold spell is here for a long time.

 

I could just go to bed. Been up since half seven. Hub left for work, Teen to college by car of his friend. Kindly taking him again, though I do worry in these weather conditions, as his friend has one speed only and that is not for dangerous roads.

 

Our canary, he’s Irish you know?????

Doesn’t mind the Antarctic conditions, as he sings his merry tune. Flicking his seed all over my blooming floor.

 

Today I had to get up for parcels due. Teen has three parts to build an IPhone… We have a vegetable rack coming. Oh yes, your Fifi Blogget really lives it up… And the annoying thing is, we have to send our carpet cleaner back.

 

We couldn’t afford the real thing as in full price, as it was not much less than £400. So we found a company that would give you the same model, but it was refurbished. Hmm. Yep, less than half the money, but didn’t work. I mean, how annoying?

 

So we phoned the company and they say, and I am not sure I believe them, but they say that they will send someone out today and we will get our money back.

 

It’s an enormous box to keep avoiding. I just wish they would come and we will receive our money back. We looked the company up and they have a great reputation.

 

Such a shame as it looks a really good one. Our friend kindly let us borrow hers. It wasn’t the same as ours, so we had to learn how to use that one, just after we spent two hours trying how to work out how to use the broken one to find out it’s as much use as a chocolate tea pot.

 

So after Hub vacuumed the floor on the landing and down the stairs, twice, I cleaned the carpets. Teen says there is a huge difference, as our carpet is creams, and with two black dogs, not good, though we don’t allow them upstairs, sadly, Waggatail takes no notice, and hasn’t learned that if only when she heard us coming from the back of the house to the front, passing the stairs, to stand still? Not move making her bells on her collar make a sound.

Oh no, she runs downstairs when she hears us. So we know what she has done and we tell her off, if only she kept still, we would think she was in her bed, but she’s not too smart.

 

I used to have a pet dog, rather than a guide dog. She was called Kara and she was half Labrador and half whippet. Oh she was so clever. She used to go to our coffee table at Christmas and slowly stretch to reach for the nuts in the dish. She knew if she did it quickly, I would hear her chain and I.D disks on the glass.

 

I noticed that the shell nuts were going down, but didn’t know how? Until I went to clean the floors and find an enormous pile of shells under the sofa. We had a sofa on legs, like carved wooden legs, where she would run under with her offerings.

 

When I found the shells, I told my ex. He said he would watch her that night, he did and this is when his running commentary informed me she was slowly snaking towards the dish, then slowly back again and under the sofa, but to leave the shells? She also used to take her Kong, it’s a rubber dome where you put dog treats in and there is a hole for the items to come out from. Well, she used to put her head right back and go for it. A huge bounce. Learning there must be a better way? She one day and after then did it every day, went upstairs and stood at the top then through her Kong down. It bounced all the way down, extracting her treats without effort.

 

So clever, so cute and so naughty.

 

I have told you before about the time I put her in my ex’s car? The back of the boot? Well, I told her to get in, she wouldn’t and I got cross with her and insisted she would get in. Bless her, she shivered, then got in. She was so well trained, she would never move. So I stood at the car door waiting for my ex to come from my Mums house where we just dropped something off. All I could hear was him laughing, I asked what was wrong. He asked what the poor dog was doing. I told him how naughty she was and wasn’t going to get in the car? He hadn’t told me when I was in my Mums house, he had to lift the bonnet up and put water in it to stop it from overheating… I had only sat my poor dog on the engine?

 

When he looked, all four paws were on the smallest place, the size of a saucer. Well, not as bad as when I was clothes shopping with him and I said how horrible the coat was feeling the material saying it was what my Granny used to wear. Only to learn the coat was warm.

Very warm.

And full of a lady.

 

I thought she was a mannequin.

 

Another time we were walking through a farming exhibition when I was walking slowly in a line, waiting with other people a mile long was this line. We passed a goat. I said in a loud voice

“Ah, look at that goat?

My ex said shush.

I said oh but it’s a baby goat?

Then I began to ask it to come near me as I walked slowly in line. Then I realised it was not a goat, but a man… Bending over in his white shirt.

 

As I said, oh Gosh, no, it’s a man?

 

My ex nudged me into next week.

 

Then I died and went purple as my ex quietly, unlike me, told me

It was a white rubbish bag.

 

Oh

My

God

I really could write a book on embarrassing things I have done.

 

If only I would think before I spoke?

 

Sadly I never have so it’s a bit late now.

 

Okay, I shall be off now, but back later. X

No comments: