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Friday, 4 November 2016

FRIDAYS DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good afternoon Bloggets. I’m back. I’m alive and survived my nerves and anxiety. For three months, plus now, I have been out of my mind with worry and anger. Mainly anger because apparently, I had liver damage and those who know me will know I have no more than two bottles of wine in a year. I can go seven eight months without a glass of anything then if I have two glasses, I am so drunk. I don’t like alcohol I would rather have a bag of crisps. So, for my friends who drink and over drink, they at the moment thank God, are Okay, me? I had to have blood tests. And of course, I had to Google what was wrong with me as it wasn’t clear at the Doctors. Then the big C comes to my knowledge and I begin reading all sorts about what a negative result of the liver could be?

 

As for my blood test showing that I am lacking in vitamin B, and something to do with the white cells. So long and short of it was, today I waited for fifty minutes for a call from my lovely Doctor, who has so much time and genuine care, who was to call me around about 12.15, but who called after one. My vitamin B is right up high now where it needs to be, it’s gone from 192 to 369. This I’m told is excellent and my liver had to be between 0 and 34. It has gone right down to 10.

 

Fantastic. Oh, my. Now why it went wrong, how has it come down? Who knows? I have been taken vitamins from the Doctor, so not the kind you get in the shops, and eating more bananas cutting down bread for my liver and not eating cereal. Eating organic veg too. Well, I have been eaten it roar I can’t face it cooked. So, a lesson for me? A wake up call? I think so. I really do. A lot of soul searching and learning things about myself of late that I am really shocked about and not happy with what I have discovered.  Mainly feeling so stupid how slow I have been to realise my problems. I’m so very quick at learning about other people’s issues that I have totally let my own needs go. But now it’s up to me. I was scared and don’t want that feeling again.

 

So, if you read my earlier blog, you will know that I was on my way to get an ex-ray at our local hospital. I was dreading it. Going on my own without my guide dog. I was to take a taxi, but it’s the bit getting out of the taxi, into the correct building and finding where I need to go without looking a fool or feeling like I don’t belong. How long would I be there and so on?

 

Long and short as don’t want to bore you, but I got there and did what I had to do, staff were actually really really nice, very very helpful, I’m truly in shock because I am home and I felt and feel like a sighted person. As in I didn’t feel like I was a nuisance, or in the way or putting anyone out. Everyone was really sweet Okay, I had to endure a pervert taxi driver on the way home, but apart from that, it was perfect.

 

As for my results on my knee?  By the way, do you know it’s been a year since I fell? I can’t believe it’s been a year? I was thinking it was six months. Anyway, I will learn in two weeks of the results. Two weeks? Never mind, home, Hub made me a cup of tea and to eat I had my dinner from yesterday. Oh, before I left teen came home. I hadn’t made his lunch. Hub put some hot bread rolls in the oven for him to open some tuna or something and let’s say he wasn’t impressed. I had a bit of paper in my hand bag that the Dr gave me yesterday to take to the hospital, but I also had some other bits of paper letters, and needed to make sure it was the correct letter as my taxi was due and didn’t have time to open my phone, open the app that reads letters and wait for that to work, so a quick look with eyes that can see would take less than five seconds just to get the heading? I asked my son, and the horrid grumpy reaction I received was enough for me to tell him it didn’t matter and I just put the slip back in my bag, feeling so bad as really, he can be so horrible, and if it was the wrong one, I would have to pull every letter only three but all for a stranger who worked at the hospital to let me know when I came to the right bit of paper. Never mind, it was the right one, but seriously, he can be so blooming nasty.

 

We have more wasps on our windowsill. I moved what I thought was the fragrance oil that was attracting them, but still they come. Still they die, on the same windowsill. Question is, where are they coming from? Where is that nest?

 

Though it’s sunny outside it’s really chilli but so it should be this time of year.

I’m going to try to relax now, as I feel still in shock and really drained.

Lots of love and thank you for your lovely messages. X

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