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Thursday, 10 November 2016

DIARY OF ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Cyprus, Germany, United States, United Kingdom, Chile, Brazil, Belgium, France, Canada and Australia are the top ten Bloggets today!

 

It’s almost midnight. Today I gave a talk at a university, it was a political speech, something I haven’t been asked to talk about for some years. Of late my talks have been about either Guide Dogs, living with sight loss, being a blind parent, or my life story, so it was a change.

 

Oh, I received a phone call from our Doctors. They left a message as I was otherwise occupied. Asking me to call them back? Oh, no, the Doctors never call me unless I ask. I was told that my knee ex-ray would take two weeks, so just over a week left, did they have the wrong blood results from last week, was there something wrong with me? I did wonder how my results could come back so differently to the results before. Heart pounding, then I listened to my inner soul and calmed down, what can panicking do? I have always asked myself this, but never had an answer. Today it was more of an emotion, a feeling I calmed down, and rang the surgery back to find that they were engaged then the phone rang and rang then I was cut off so had to ring again, this went on for almost forty minutes.

 

The receptionist told me that a Doctor would call me back. Me, today? No, Fiona, don’t be silly, over two weeks’ time? Say what? No way. I told the lady I was not going to be anxious to learn of my results for that long, she agreed she was nice and told me that another Doctor was available to talk with me tomorrow, it was the nice Dr, the lady I like, so that made me happy. But tomorrow afternoon. I learned that it was about my knee ex-ray. I will be of course delighted if they say there is nothing wrong with me, but shocked as well as really my knee is still not right. It’s not so painful, but feels like there is a bone or some kind of growth and it’s only been there since I fell on the road, so has to have something to do with that. If they say nothing wrong, I’m not sure how I will feel. I know there is something wrong, let’s hope it’s just I have bruised my knee. Mind you, for months, the whole of the bottom of my leg was in agony and for weeks when I was on holiday after all the walking I did at the start of the holiday, I was in more pain than ever. My knee would lock if I sat in the same position for a while, and during the night, oh I have never felt such pain. But it’s not as bad as it was, having said that, I haven’t walked half what I used to, I dare not. The other day I was sitting on a bar stool. In a friend’s house, not a cocktail lounge, and because one of my legs, my bad one, was supporting myself on the floor, the next day, the pain was so bad. So, let’s see what it is. Any guesses out there?

 

Teen left today he is away for the night. He called me just before he was going to have lunch. Sounds like he is having a lovely time. Not text me anymore but at least where he is, he isn’t driving around. He is back tomorrow. Let’s hope happier and healthier.

 

We are forecast to have a really cold winter. That’s fine, as long as we have a pleasant Spring then warm summer and crisp sunny autumn like we used to have. Four seasons.

 

Later on, today I placed an order with M & S for Christmas. Online is Okay, but when it comes to adding to the basket, it’s not good, so over twenty minutes on the phone, at a cost too, I placed my order. The lady was lovely and really helpful. She described some Christmas baubles that said things like glass angel light up bauble. Well that sounds lovely, but the way she described it, was not how I imagined it to be, in fact it sounded better from her words. Then there was a fairy  bauble. Okay Bloggets, a bauble is round, right? No, not according to M & S. I thought it would be a round bauble with perhaps a tactile  fairy on it, when in fact it was a fairy shape tree decoration. But I only knew that because of the lovely helpful lady on the phone. I ordered something else that I won’t write about because it’s for a friend who reads this blog, but again, not at all how I imagined it to be. And why can’t these shops just say what the lady said? There were loads of words used just saying nothing. Well, nothing helpful.

 

Good old British M & S, the call centre was in South Africa. Haha. We are closing thirty of our M & S branches, and paying people to work in South Africa. We need to get a grip. We are losing all of our good old shops to shops from other countries and chains selling coffee and burgers.

 

Oh, boy wonder just said goodnight by text, so I know he is alright, so I will now sleep better. Our dogs been really soft today, not sure why, mind you, LF is always a big softy. He just loves attention. He will sit with his head on your lap for over twenty minutes. Not moving. When my knee was at its worst, he would put his head on it and the heat from his soft gentle face would really help. I love my dogs. They are so selfless. Want for nothing just love and that is free and I have loads of that.

 

Thank you for your beautiful messages of late, whether it be on Facebook, personal messages, emails or texts, thank you to the moon and back.

 

Hub and I watched a great comedy tonight called “One Foot in The Grave”” it’s brilliant. One of the comments was two men sitting next to the main character in an optician. A couple walked in an elderly man and woman. The elderly gent said

“I came in for my new glasses today, left with them and walked around the shops for an hour. Now I have come back because I have been given the wrong glasses.””

The receptionist asked how he thought that? He answered because this isn’t my wife. Hahahaha. Then the old lady next to him said. “You have given me the wrong glasses too because this isn’t my Husband.””

 

Then there was a comment about hospitals. The two old men one said to the other. My sister went in for an operation. You know, a lady matter. Then there was a silence whilst the other man contemplated. Then answered.

“Yes. . .. My brother had that problem.””

  Hehehehehehe.

 

Then there was a comment about a poor blind man whose wife died. Again, silence then the other man said.

“He’s never been the same really since his wife died, riding that tandem on his own? Hahahha just in case you don’t know, a tandem is a bike two people ride, for those who can’t see, it’s great as a sighted person can steer at the front whilst a blind person peddles at the back. So the image of a blind person riding this huge bike on their own?

 

Of course, you will get some people saying how patronising, but come on, it’s a laugh, you have to laugh at yourself it’s not being nasty. What I don’t like is when people say things like. “Are you blind or something? Insinuating that you are stupid.

Another, what does she see in him, she must be blind, as if blind people only date ugly people?  As a teen, my boyfriends were stunning. One was a model, tall blonde blue eyes and he had every girl wanting him. Another was a Mr Universe, 6 foot five tall and a body to die for. Actually, he may have died, as he used steroids to get his body, I’m sure of it. Knowing what my Son tells me, it’s scary how many people do steroids at his gym. Thank God my Son is natural, well apart from the nasty powders he is drinking but I have researched them and they are mainly vitamins, but I would rather he ate an apple and a banana.

 

Mind you, I have dated some duffs too. But my now and forever Husband, is rather a dish. I haven’t seen him since I was 12, haha, he the same age, but you know, in my mind, he is good looking still. I wonder if in his mind, my bum is small?

OK I will go for now, but take care cos I care. X

 

 

 

  

 

     

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