translate

Monday, 7 November 2016

DIARY OF TORN SECRETS BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good afternoon Bloggets. I’m waiting to go to my friend’s house, but it’s too early I’m not due till half two. So far today has not been a good one, but life goes on. As for the weather, it started off really wet but now it’s so sunny. Mild too.

 

I seriously could write a book on a couple of my friends and let me tell you the story would be totally different to what I write now. Gosh some people are rather shocking and I just don’t get humans. We live in a very complex world. You know when someone needs help, but you can’t get to them? They are crying out for your help, but there is a huge block and if you even touch the block, your life will be seriously in trouble. So, I can’t get to who needs me and I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.  It’s kind of a triangle with a twist. I can’t really say anything, other than I am being played, but I am on top of the awful game as I know what is going on. I just right now am ignoring the situation.  I have never been one for burying my head in the sand when it comes to helping others. I am very out spoken for others, not myself, but for my friends I will say it how it is, but because two people are my friends, but they are married, I am stuck. It’s a very difficult situation that can’t even be spoken about to one of the friends. And before you think it, it’s not an affair, well, it may be but that isn’t the bad situation. So, what to do? Just have to sit back and let the badness pile up before me and try to detach myself, my feelings and thoughts from their challenges. It’s weak of me but strong as I said I don’t keep my mouth shut normally so having to is proven to show what strength I do have.

 

Gosh, reading todays blogs, I guess you can see there is a lot of mystery in my life this week. There is also some big debates going on and I’m fed up of it. Some people just seem to have an easy life. Is this because they don’t care? I think so. They don’t care and are not bothered. How to be like this? I must train myself to be cold. Hub said it wouldn’t suit me, but to be honest, for me it would be a relief.

 

To my friend’s house I head. I am saying nothing about the situation I have found myself in, as really it’s nothing to do with anyone other than the couple involved and that is what I am going to tell myself and a coffee and a change of environment is what I need right now.

 

Let’s hope I come back to my lovely new rug and LF won’t have eaten it?  My knee is in agony today but it’s not a long walk. About six minutes. My next blog will be an escape. An escape from reality. Can’t wait till my Hub is home tonight. Missed him today. I know he said he had a few trials to see to at work this week so because I know he won’t be having an easy day, kind of unsettles me. And as I put away the vacuum today, turned on the dish washer again, cleaned the kitchen and did a general tidy, I suddenly thought, this really is my life for the next God willing thirty years plus. Unless a miracle comes my way. X

No comments: