A FUNNY THANKSGIVING

The Taylor's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had travelled to America with the Pilgrim Fathers on the Mayflower. They had included Congressmen, successful entrepreneurs, famous sports people and television stars.
They decided to research and write a family history, something for their children and grandchildren. They found a specialist genealogist and writer to help them. Only one problem arose - how to handle Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor who was executed in the electric chair.
The writer said she could handle the story tactfully. When the book appeared the section about Jefferson read:
Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, he was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock


Jolene was only 8 years old and lived with family in the country with her parents and brother. Consequently they did not often have visitors from the city. One day Jolene's mother said that father was bringing two guests home for Thanksgiving supper.
After they had enjoyed the turkey, Jolene went to the kitchen to help her mother, and proudly brought in the first piece of pumpkin pie and gave it to her father. He then passed the plate to a guest. When Jolene came in with the second piece and gave it to his father, he again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Little Jolene, who blurted out, 'It's no use, Daddy. The pieces are all the same size.'

What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.

The minister of the church was giving a Thanksgiving service.
A ragged man in the audience asked, 'What is there to be thankful for?'
Surprised, the minister replied, 'What is your name, sir?'
'Cause,' was the reply.
'Well Cause, you could be thankful for your healthy body...'
'I'm blind and I have lung cancer.'
'..or your family...'
'I don't have a family.'
'...or your home...'
'I don't have a home.'
"Well, then,' retorted the preacher, I guess you're a lost Cause!'

Ode to Thanksgiving
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Thanks to
http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/christmas/thanksgiving.htm