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Tuesday, 21 April 2015

DIARY OF FIFI AND KARATE


We say hello to our Bloggets from UK, US, Ukraine, Greece, Saudi Arabia, Ireland, Australia, Israel, Germany, and France today, just to name the top ten views. It’s a beautiful day in the UK. The sun is shining here and it’s hot. I went earlier to the shops. Oh the noise as I walked along our awful dreaded road, but we did it little Waggs and I and we were chased by a solar powered man. Hahehehe. No, he wasn’t flying along with free wind, he was whistling like a blooming kettle. It was so funny, well, my boy was dealing with wires in his car, the other day using a plastic spatula a fishing reel and a hair dryer, today? Some material. I didn’t ask. He had been pursued by a salesman and he told the man, his Mum wasn’t in, well, he the man, was still in the street, knocking at doors trying to sell his power saving devices. I was unaware of the teen and the salesman. Out I go in full flow. Well, I’m easy to see at the best of times, let alone with an aluminous harness reading “Do not distract. I mean, most people do look when a guide dog is around, but when I wasn’t meant to be in? Teen in car,

“Mum, trust me, get in the house quickly.”

I did as I was told thinking he wanted me to hear if his speakers were sounding good.

He came in, telling me the story of how I wasn’t meant to be in. hahahaha. I waited a few moments and out I went teen’s music entertaining the street from his car.

 

Well, the knocking came from doors as they remained closed to the salesman. Then I think he wanted me to speak with him as his whistle followed me right down the street. No, Bloggets, not wolf whistles, I think I have lost it in that department. But a tuneless sound like a crying crow, in chronic pain.

 

I kept walking. As I turned the quiet corner hoping he wouldn’t follow as I don’t care much for that part of our avenue, as its high with shrubs, I remembered again my self-defence days and listened for footsteps. Oh gosh, they were behind me, heck, what to do? Well, thankfully I didn’t remember my Karate moves and make Mr. Miyagi, proud or embarrassed? No back kicks were necessary thank Goodness lifting my foot up a step these days is a trial. As for a hammer punch? Well, what would my Waggs do, if I swung around to sort whistling Walter out?  I couldn’t do a straddle stance, as apart from looking as though I have wet myself, I wanted to keep walking away from the silence, all, almost apart from the deranged crow following me, towards to the deafening road. Would he wait for me coming back? If so, I would be prepared with my Kobudo with my not so sharp weapon of a giant block of Cheddar cheese.

 

Then to my amusement, I remembered I had changed the collar on Waggatail and it has an annoying clicking sound. So footsteps? Fiona, please, when will you start to hear like a blind person?

 

Few, double few, tight jeans equal split jeans doing the self-defence. Hahaha. As I said, these days, I can’t even fight my way out of a paper bag.

 

Our shop was empty and thankfully I had the lovely friendly guy to show me around. We had a good old chat. He’s lovely unlike the lady who won’t walk around with me, so I end up getting things I don’t want and forgetting things I do want. This guy is great, in fact all of the staff there are good. Just the one lady, who is sweet enough, but leaves you standing at the door like a bag of potatoes,

 

Wagga did really well on the way home and as we approached the monkeys in the zoo, I could just about hear as the road sound was the worst I have ever heard today. I heard a rumbling engine. Oh heck, just where I needed to cross? Well, I instructed Waggs and she did her stuff perfectly. She was brilliant, she’s really coming on these days and really I’m loving her new outlook. Feeling great. So good to get out.

 

As for yesterday with Arty? Oh we had a lovely day, the birds in our park sounded so stunningly wonderful. Pure and the lake was like a sheet of glass my friend said. Not one ripple the weather was so lovely. The sweet smell I love about spring filled the air. How peaceful. I just wish Hub and I could go there but we dare not if our dogs run off I’m sure they wouldn’t, but scared to risk it also if there are killer dogs on the field, we wouldn’t know and there are a few who frequent the park. But not yesterday. Yesterday was wonderful made me feel so happy. Just simple simple things like that. I couldn’t see the park but the fragrance of spring was delightful.

 

Wagga had a great time running free. And she guided me back so well too. I simply loved it!

 

Tried to phone Hub so many times today but he must have been on the phone for about five hours?  I told him when I did get through; it was like getting through to Putin? I had to remind him about various things for tomorrow. He’s off again. This time he will be out first thing in the morning and back really really late at night. He is meeting with the top man. Big boss day tomorrow. I have a very sneaky feeling he has volunteered himself again to something. He’s not saying don’t think he would dare. As his last job, he was in charge of so much and it almost killed us both. When I think back to those days, I shake with dread. He was really important and I think he may miss those days of really serious decisions.

 

I just know he used to work internationally and international was mentioned yesterday. Hmm. Oh I will go ballistic if he is back doing old stuff like that. But how would I know? I wouldn’t. I’m the not so little house wife back home. Not Mr big. Hahaha. Though he is not so big now, he is still losing weight. I thought it would be a phase but no, he’s still dedicated.

 

But he is a reformed slightly overweight person, reformed as in born again. You know when people give up smoking and hate everything Smokey? Or become fit and hate fatsos? Hahahahah. I don’t think in fact I’m sure he doesn’t hate me, but tells me he loves me so much he wants me to live a long life so lectures me on everything I eat. I’m finding myself now eating cereal before bed rather than toast. I don’t even like blooming cereal.

 

OK. Talking of Hub, he’s home from work in an hour or so I will prepare food now and then poem number seven for today has to be written. Then I’m done with those. No more weddings please? Hahah. Too much happy words, c’mon give me some dark deep dusty words to write for you. Xxxxx

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