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Thursday, 11 September 2014

SNIFFING WHERE SHE SHOULDN'T


So put on my shoes, after letting the dogs out to pollute in their very own private toilet and got together, doggy doodle bag, treats, harness and lead. Said bye bye to Long Chops and gave her a biscuit as felt sorry for her. Told Wagga, not to show me up, take me where I need to go, most importantly, bring me back? Was she going to listen to her Mummy? Well, good start, heart pumping and the start of the roads were really quiet, not like around here, turned the corner to the motorway, well, OK, busy road, no cars again?  Weird… Then I heard the wellied booted man coming behind me at a speed I didn’t like. Heck, where was everyone and where were the cars with those nice safe windows so they can see Fifi Blogget being chased by a welly wearing man? Couldn’t think of enough alliteration that fit the bill for the word man? Hahaheheh. Anyway, remembering all the things my lovely friend taught me many years ago in self defence, I stood my ground, thankfully not doing a Karate chop and flinging a passer-by over my shoulder, but just was aware of my location. His footsteps got closer and he was running. I says he, well, I presumed he was one, not sure on a sunny day, why someone like a woman, would wear welly’s on a busy main road? Also the thud of them, was a little like our transvestite in our street, but he is a builder of some sort and he is a big man, well, most days?

Just as the threatening steps were on my shoulder, cars suddenly passed by at speed, well that was the end of hearing anything, so not sure where he went to, but not near me…

 

Back to normal, the noise was awful. And arms of overhanging branches pushed me along, normally, they grab me with their needle like fingers, but not today for some reason, they were soft leaves, no spikes attached themselves to me. Weird as they always do.

OK, Wags was doing well. Turning when she was asked not stopping, though the tail went mad at one point, the dogs that is, not mine… So someone was looking at her, she wanted adulation, but wasn’t getting any from me and I hoped she wouldn’t from whoever was watching us? Hopefully not the welly wearer? Hehehe.

 

A huge bit of debris decided to play with my foot, I kicked it off and it came back for more. Glutting for punishment.

Weaving in and out of the shops, passing by the dreaded metal fire escapes, avoiding them by hearing when it went quiet. Listening for the corners of the walls as the sounds of life changed again. Oh I’m getting used to the way of blindness, used to it but pigging hate it… I mean, God alone knows what my facial expressions are as I walk along, trying to feel with my feet my surroundings, not to scrape my arms on the walls, to feel where the paths go slippy before a step. Passing the second tactile pavement so I know when to turn right. Feeling the cycle track white line beneath my feet so I know I’m in the middle. I know bikes one side, people the other, stuff that, if a cyclist can’t see to avoid me, they should be on a tandem…

“OK, sighted Bloggets, read that last bit again, then you may get it? Hahaha.

 

Wagga did well, avoided the corner of the tiny edging at the car park, if she misjudges that by a centre meter, I will really trip over it. She did well. Passing the shops we go into and I told her not today, she avoided the horrid ballads in front of shop windows and the shopping trolleys too. Oh and I didn’t take anyone out today, didn’t scoop anyone up either, so no points for me. Hehehe.

 

So this bit I don’t’ like. If I don’t ask Wags to turn left at the right part, I am on the main road. We have done this before. So concentrate… I need to turn left at exactly the right place. If I don’t, then I will cross the side road and end up on a path only a foot from the path I want to go on, but the wrong path will take me somewhere else. We’ve done that too.

 

Well, she did it; the cars pulling down that side road are really quiet too as they slow right down… But we crossed and I asked her to find the post box, she took no notice, oh heck, please don’t say I was wrong thinking we were on the right path? She should have turned left to the post box by now? She continued walking, and then stopped…

Oh wow, her nose was attached to the post box, to show me where it was. Brilliant Wags, here’s a treat… She ate her tiny sweet then another left into the walk way to the Doctors… Through double doors, four handles to find, two of them locked. Two open. She puts her nose as high as she can reach, but she is tiny. Through the doors and to reception. Sat waiting to see the Doctor… Everyone who walked in, Wagga thought they were obviously coming to see her… She lay wagging like mad. Then when they walked past her, she cried. Haha.

 

Oh to people listen is great. I did feel a little sorry for this lady today though, my friend Julie used to always say, that I was so naive when it came to people as I will talk to anyone, she would nudge me at college to stop answering the people but I would find that rude? Then would learn that they were indeed not quite right…

So this very well spoken lady began to talk with a lady with a baby.

“Oh how old is she?””

Mother of child

“Oh she is a he and he is two weeks!”

“Really? Wow, hasn’t he got a large head?””

The poor Mum went quiet. Then the lady asked

“Is he your first?””

“No, third!”

“How old are the others?””

“9 and 6!”

“Oh my word, a big age gap? No wonder you have some grey coming through on your hair?” I guess you are not getting any sleep? Is that why you have lines under your eyes?”

Heck, get me out of here? Well thankfully the Mother was called in to the man Doctor and leaving the lady to chat to others. She told an old man that she is dreading getting as old as him, because she can’t imagine her using a stick like he has?

Heck, I was so glad my back was towards her? Can you imagine what she would have said to me? But I am so soft, I would have answered all her questions, whereas no one in the waiting room spoke to her and I thought at first, people were quite rude to her, but not the other way, though she sounded so sweet? So badly wanted to make friends, just didn’t know how? Em, love, not buy telling people how ancient they look?  

Then my adorable Doctor came over to me. She is so lovely. Like a friend. I love her. Some Doctors just shout your name from their office, she never does. In fact, some practices I have been to, your name comes up on a board…

 

Anyway, we went into her office talked and on the way out, not sure what the other people waiting thought of us as we burst through the doors into the waiting room, we were both laughing so much… All they would hear her saying is

“Oh, the two of us will be in a heap in the middle of reception!!!”

Hehehe. Well, as she got my arm as I left her room, she came to my left, that is where Wagga walks, so she realised so went to the other side, then was trying to hold the door for me and we just danced our way to reception. I love her; she is so sweet, kind and interested in me. Do you think she must have a dull life? Hehehe.

 

She walks me right to the outside door. As no way Wags would without saying Hi, to everyone sitting waiting, then she would have to take me around behind the desk at reception to meet and greet the ladies who work there…

 

OK, out into the air again. Oh this bit is not good. And whilst Wags did the first bit good, she sniffed her way to our shop. I ended up dragging her and it was a case of who was guiding who? At one point, I had to lift her up, to get her nose from the ground.

She should have been a sniffer dog for the police.

 

I called into our shop for bread. Hmm. Ended up getting cheese, cereal bars for Hub and nice biscuits for my friend and myself coffee time when I got home.

 

Before me in the line, was a lady who spoke no English, well, I’m not sure what she had, but she had to spend £50 to get money off. Not sure how much, but her bill was £1.62 away so they tried to tell her, she didn’t understand, they pointed and she then realised and in broken English, told the lady behind the till to get her milk to make up for the amount… Two large milks came back and then they told her she was 5p off. Oh heck… They told her she could may be get a small chocolate bar? Well, who doesn’t understand the word chocolate?

Her voice lit up… I think she thought she was getting the chocolate for 5p? Well, she had three kids with her, so shouted saying to get three bars… So obviously she then was over £50 oh, what happened? Hahahha. The lady said no money…

Well, we had her purse out, her pockets emptied, she even at one point asked one of her children to check their pockets, and they sounded about four.

The pennies came out, one by one…

Until she had the right money... Off they went on their merry way, the funny thing was, it turned out if you spent £50 you saved £5, but by the time she bought her chocolate bars, it came to £46.98 so saved £3 in the end…

 

Well, the lady behind the till said if I would be OK getting out of the shop? I said yes, if your see me in half an hour, come to my rescue please? Hehehe. Em, she laughed, but I wasn’t joking…

Well, just as Wagga sniffed her way under two tills, then pulled me to the window to sniff at something else, we walked and walked, me saying find the door, her saying Mum, nope, I will go to those rather tempting chocolate bars thank you very much. Then I thought, oh heck, the door should have been before now?

Then the lovely lady behind the till ran after me and said you are on your way around the shop again…

Oh God I was so embarrassed…

I’m sure the people at that shop wonder how the heck I get home. Well, join the list of wonderers?

But we did, passing the lovely sweet fragranced shrub, a good sign to know where I am. The hump in the pathway and the bowing tree that taps me on the shoulder as I leave my street, wishing me luck, and then taps me on the head to say well done on my way back. I walked over the manhole, making that familiar clinking sound. Then The silence of the huge wall of one of my neighbours and the sweet smell of our roses. No wind today so no wind chimes could be heard, but we walked to a door, and it was ours. So pleased back safe. How do I feel? OK, not elated, just OK.

 

Then a coffee with my friend before she heads for the big lights of London for the weekend.

 

OK, work time now.  I could chat to you all all day, but the voice on my computer is even getting croaky and my fingers are becoming stiff with typing. So later with love…x

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