DIARY FOR TODAY

I sit here in my conservatory. My heart has the feeling of a stone. I’m devastated. Today my loving Husband had to take our Black beauty to the vet and when they left, I knew she wouldn’t be back, as did our other two dogs. Little Waggatail wouldn’t get off BB’s bed, no matter how much I asked her. LC sat in our porch crying in a pitiful way. Now they lay silent. Not at all like Wagga. My poor Husband is in a state as am I. He still wears the hair from her on his top. The vet said she had the symptoms of a burst tumour in her  spleen. Two weeks ago tomorrow were her first symptoms. But last night when she wouldn’t eat her food, we knew there was something wrong. She picked up when Hub came in from work. She didn’t get up but she wagged her tail, something my old girl never did. She was a really depressive dog. Never was naughty. Always was too afraid to do anything wrong. Even till the last breath. Oh I won’t go into detail, but it’s been a dreadful painful day. I just have hated this year and will be glad when it’s 2015.

What to do, three beds become two, three feeding times become two and I will be picking her favourite toys up for days. Her hair was dropping out so badly again the vet said symptomatic.

She was my first guide dog and I will never forget the job she did. Not the best guide dog as was so worried about getting things wrong. She was quite aloof. She worships my Son when she first came to us. He her too. He is away now, will be back in half an hour. I’m not sure how he will be, but I have some thoughts on that. I did tell him on the phone, so he knows. But when he walks through the door, what will he be like?

Thank God my Husband is with me now. He is unwell on top of everything. He has his pains again in his face/eye. He is off to the doctor’s first thing in the morning and in the afternoon; I’m off to the hospital. For my eyes. I’m dreading it so much, but I’m going with a lovely friend. I have pre warned her not to talk about BB. I can tell you now she was called Hannah, but she will be forever my black beauty.

I will let you know about the hospital, and pleas? Don’t let it be more bad news, as really I can’t take much more.