THE BLACK SUN BY FIONA CUMMINGS

THE BLACK SUN

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

As the sun Shon through my window

I had memories of the colour yellow

Though my eyes see a muddy grey

This is how I wake each day

I have to force myself to live

And a happy face I must give

As who wants to know the real me

For sure not me

As in my heart and soul

I am not in control

As I’m the half of another

At birth we couldn’t be together

She was gifted with sight

Everything in her life was just right

I was branded with a curse

Handed an empty purse

Whereas hers was full of gold

But she leads a plastic life

For me stories I have told

Of hardships and reality

And my love is quality

My hand is always there to hold

My name is stamped in your heart in bold

My arms are open wide

I can’t drive

But    with you a journey we will ride

I can’t see but will know you’re there to love you

For my soul is from a dark and meaningful past

And what I say my words will last

 She is as free as a bird

And your words she has never heard

One day I hope to meet with her

When she will change into cotton from fur

 She may swap me her precious sight

And then I will feel so right

As then I will see

 I will be free

And still have the memory

Of times gone by

When I did cry

For her and myself

And she can learn what life has been like for me

To exist not being able to see

Then she will be free

Of all what was guilt

Always warm in her velvet quilt

Never knew what fear was like

Her wheels always turned on her shiny red bike

When it’s her time

When her money has run dry

And she has learned how to cry

Then she will appreciate the laughs

That will be real

And she can look back at my rough deal

And perhaps share her vision

And together we can make a decision

She will be a better person

And I will learn of happiness

She won’t know what she looks like in her new dress

So will have to rely on my words

She will think back how she took for granted

Her golden threads

And how she ranted

About the slightest thing

How she wanted the biggest ring

The finest food

All the things she thought made her feel so good

Her new life would be so different

She will learn to say thank you

And her life will be so true

She won’t see her eyes looking back at her

Just know they are blue

She won’t see how her hair is

If it’s straight or in a frizz

She will have to learn to touch

And touch hearts of others

To be a good sister to her brothers

And not laugh in the faces of her past lovers

To be a better daughter

For her wants, have gone to the slaughter

Her days will be split into quarters

Rather than flying by

I will take a look into her life

And see if I would swap

I would be able to go on my own to shop

To look at the beautiful clothes I can by

To sit and take a coffee

And watch people passing by

To see the smile on my child’s face

To visit my favourite place

And be able to see the architecture

And the history

To see the expressions as I give my lecture

To those who just have no idea?

On what it’s like to live in fear

I will swim in the wide ocean without wondering how I will get back

I will never see again the sun so black

I will look up to the azure sky

And see the silver stars so high

I will love the seasons

Changing of colours

Something in my past, that was for others

But this would be my future

A whole new culture

Another world

A different life

As for her?

Will she be a wife?

Trapped in her walls

A slave till he calls?

Or will she take her pills each day

Hoping that the pain will just go away

Even for a second

If I visit her will she beckon?

Me to give her back her world?

What do you reckon?

Will I keep all or share the gold?