NOW DAY PARENTING

Good morning Bloggets. The sun is shining, this is a good start. For a few nights now I have had the worst sleeps. Took ages to get there and getting there was painful. Tossing and turning just couldn’t get comfortable, ached somehow. I have too much to do before we go away and to be honest I’m dreading leaving my dogs. I don’t really know this person. They have never been there before. Guide dogs are not like other dogs where they fit in if the person is kind to them. Our dogs are very loyal to us and as though they worry about us when we are away from them. I don’t know what is going on with LC now days, but Yesterday in the office, Hub was doing some training and sat at his desk but the person doing the training with him was up and down desk to desk, wire to wire, so Hub gave LC to his colleague a few desks away and LC screamed as though in agony. When he gave permission for his colleague to let her go to him, she, LC, almost took the desk and filing cabinet with her as she franticly dashed to see Hub. Then she lay down not a sound under his desk. Fell asleep. It’s only since Hub has started this job she has become like this. So I pray that she will be OK with this lady. My little Waggatail clings to me too when I am in the same room as her in the house, but  she is OK on a walk with my friend, but when she gets back from her walk, she won’t leave me for a second. As for Black Beauty, haha. She doesn’t give a stuff who she is with. But they are my babies and I’m leaving them. Thank God it’s only for a week!

 

A week’s holiday that we all really need. I also stay awake as thinking about how life will be when we return… I hope our summer can begin and life will be better? But there is the constant threat that hell will kick off. Let’s hope that the devil will burn the fire elsewhere before then and bother some other unsuspecting person.

 

Not long after that will be my friend’s birthday. My friend Di will have hers and my friend Olga from Russia is the day before then. And before all that, we have our bathroom to be all fixed and fitted. Then there is just the shower room that we are having bother with. Oh what a pain that is. It’s leaking so badly now and to fix it, the part is going to be almost £400. The company who fit it won’t come out and so many things have gone wrong with it we have had to pay for parts with an independent plumber and electrician. Really, workman now days are so bad. If you find a good one, keep them.

 

As you know we had Father’s day on Sunday in the UK. My x wasn’t happy he didn’t get a card. I don’t blame him, and I know how he feels, but at least he got a text, unlike me on Mother’s day. My Hub received a text from his daughter number one but the youngest one forgot she had a Dad. She is not worth bothering with and I felt for Hub as he was hurt, but her loss. My Husband was a great Dad and still would be if they were not walking around with their heads stuck up their backsides. Well, the youngest one anyway. I really don’t know how such a relationship can recover now? With my Son and his Dad, it took a lot of work on my behalf. Not that my x will ever recognise that, but I know how important it is to try to keep a relationship open between parents, even though you don’t agree with their practices.

 

Teen should be going to a party with my x on Friday night. But so far nothing is planned from Teens side. That worries me slightly as teen will be exposed to the side of  my x’s family I don’t like or want teen to know, though teen likes some of them and gets on well with them. I guess seeing all aspects of life are a good thing, right?

 

I just hope my x has a nice time with teen and teen comes home safely and happy. Every time I talk to my x, he is working. One thing about him, he is a hard good worker.

 

 Teen is at college again today, he is really putting his head down as we only have a couple of weeks left on his course. If he pulls this one out of the bag, he will have done so well. If he is allowed to get on with his work and finish it? I am proud of him, he is a very bright spark, who needs to find his map of life and perhaps change a few routes.  If he does this, then there is a very good path a head for him. If he takes the same path as he is doing right now, then I feel sick with worry for him. But he is so loved by me that is for sure.

 

So, bringing me onto today’s subject at last.

 

Today’s children/teenagers!

They expect to be treat differently, won’t take no for an answer, have no respect for anyone and yet demand respect for themselves and think they are above the rules.  Do you agree?  And what can be done if anything about it?

 

Some parents say that they don’t want their kids being brought up with discipline like they were, so are rather loose in which way they allow their children to live. I know parents who allow their children to drink from the age of eleven and stay out late on school nights from younger. If you are like me and don’t agree with this, then we are sadly in the minority, so because our kids see other children being allowed to do all the things that they are n’t, then they rebel. Its fine when they are young enough to control, and I use that word lightly, I mean say no and mean it and know that your children will obey. Well, then they become teenagers and we have no say at all in what goes on in their lives. I am shocked at what I have experienced in my Sons life and friends of the same age. Doctors prescribing medication without informing parents, though the children are fifteen, sixteen, well, under eighteen for sure.

We in confidence send our children’s teachers/tutors emails that should be kept between parent and teacher/tutor and the very next day, the kids come home and scream as the letter / email has been shown to them.

Don’t misunderstand me; I grew up spending most of my time in the former Soviet Union. Big Brother and restrictions is not my thing, but rules and respect, should be a form of religion.

 

I believe we are in the process of transitioning our parenting style. We want to do the best job we can, and most want to do it differently, but because we are the first generation on this course and our teacher is constantly absent, and when push comes to shove, we either revert to the tactics we hated or throw up our arms in defeat, because we don’t know what else to do.  Most of the time with both parents in the workforce, a major shift in our economic structure we don’t have time to devote  to make a fundamental  change. As for me, I don’t work outside of the house, so what is my excuse? This is why I am battling with life’s changes, as I do have time and I did get my teen till he was fifteen before things started to go very wrong, or I would have had these problems so much earlier. See, I knew parents who worked and their kids were off to the town/city or making a fire on the local field, well the parents were totally oblivious to their kid’s actions. As the kids were sly and ran home before they got in. Then I knew of parents who felt so guilty about leaving the kids, that they were more reluctant to giving them some kind of structure. I mean, how dare they bring in rules when the children had no parents all week? Who were they at the end of the day? If some had a child minder, the minder was more of a Mother than the real deal.

 

Our current generation, products of the 60’s, when authority began to be seriously questioned, is possibly the first signs/wave, and therefore inconsistent at best.

 

Children today are far savvier than we were. The media has a lot to be sorry for. We can’t hit our children now days, that is right, we can’t ground them as they escape from windows and normally our latch key kids have their very own key as their parents won’t be in when they come home from school. Our kids have found a voice we are still trying to find. Our old way of how children should be brought up is in our blood. What we have now days is new blood.

 

This is a totally different world we live in now. It’s a hungry greedy world that is cut throat at its best. Our kids are subjected to so much more money and see their hero’s earning millions of £ $ and so on.

 We didn’t know half what there was in the world when we were growing up. It’s not a nice kind generation and as I said, who do we turn to for answers?

 

Well, all I can say is when your time bomb goes off and your child is screaming, shouting abuse and throwing things walk away. This is what I have learned to do. The only thing is, our house has suffered but it would anyway, even if you were there. In fact more damage is done. I always remember the day my Son put a whole in our brand new wall. Smashed my beautiful crystal bell that was special to my loving Mum and so much worse. I being there didn’t stop what happened. He sees me and reacts more for sure. It’s almost like letting them away with anything. Well, in fact it is and it’s a hopeless case, but we don’t have a choice. Those parents reading this now with children three, four and a bit older may laugh and think this is rubbish, but keep this article and come back in seven years or just over. Then it will be your turn.

 

OK, I will go for now, I don’t think I have been much help, just don’t want you to think like I did until just recently, that you are alone. We are in a battle and I wish the war was over.