BRAZIL v CHILLI

 Hi Bloggets. Heard from my baby. He is OK. I miss him so much, but I know he is OK, and at  a party tonight.

 

 We have just had a lovely tea. Hub had pork steaks with new potatoes’, baby sweetcorn, green beans, roast tomatoes and mushrooms. I had the same but apart from Pork, I had vegetarian bacon. Then we had my favourite strawberries with evaporated milk. Yummy I love them. It was then when I had a sad moment. I remembered when my Son was a baby and my Mum bought him strawberry’s. Every time he went into her house, he used to shout

“Dor dors!”

For some reason only  he knew why? he called them that. He also called my Mum Nana Dor Dor. She bought him them right through that winter, just before she died.

 

Oh when she died, it was horrible. My x was really good and did most of the house himself, I couldn’t bear to go to her house. Only once I did that was when my baby of only 22 months, went into her house and shouted on her, saying Nana Dor Dor. Oh I just was crushed. Who would buy him them now? as in the winter they were far more than I could afford. I missed my Mum and still do now so very much it is incredibly painful, even after 16 years. At times like this, I wished I had her for advice, not that I took it from her when she was alive bless her. There was a large age gap between my Mum and I, she was forty years older than me.

 

Those six months, were dreadful. My Dad who I worship died, then my Mum and before all that, I went blind, all in six months. I had to go on living, though it would have been so much easier to die.

 

Hub listening to the football on the radio. It’s Brazil v Chilli. An English referee. If our ref puts Brazil out, I think he may need police escort out of the country?

 

I have no interest in the world cup. I hate football as it’s all about money. Greed and letting violence occur, without any punishment. The players can act like absolute thugs and get away with it.

 

Still bathing my little dog’s feet. Her poor paws. I have tried calling the lady who is taking her whilst we are away. She’s not answering. This is a bit of a worry, though she is texting. Oh God, I am anxious about them. My friend used to look after them when we had two, and she had one of her own, now she has two and we three, it’s far too much to ask her.

 

Last night Hub got onU Tube, someone who had taken a video of their holiday like ours. Oh God the ship sounds so very loud? It will be like home from home? What with our road outside our house?

 

Only four more days until I’m off to see about my eye. Oh I am so very afraid. What will they tell me it is? I don’t want bad news before we go away.

 

I will ask a lot of questions too about my eye condition and future hope? What kind of RP I have too as I don’t know. Imagine getting to my age and not knowing what kind it is? This is the trouble with my disease, it’s called RP, but there are different types of it. So I will ask and hope I will be strong enough to hear the answers? When I used to go many years ago, I was very emotional. I didn’t know what to ask and I just froze with fear. Since I have met my Hub, I have become stronger and except my eye condition a bit more. I still hate it, but today we went to the town, we did some basic shopping and we did it on our own. I very much doubt I will ever be able to do things like that on my own, as my guide dog is not allowed in the town, as she was not trained for that, also I’m never getting another guide dog. So I will mosie on around my shops local and Hub and I together will hit the town. Him with Long Chops and me with my white cane.

 

Do you know until I met hub five years ago, I didn’t even know that the traffic lights that don’t beep, have a button underneath that turns when you have to cross. This is there for deaf/blind but mainly for when there are two sets of traffic lights together. One beeps and the other you have to feel the button. I’m sure we get some funny looks when people pass seeing us holding under the crossing button?

 

As I said yesterday, I try to remember to walk heal to toe, so I can’t easily trip. I used to walk like a ballerina, almost on my toes. Haha. Me a ballerina? Oh yes, I can see it now, well, the headlines anyway.

 

I have learned to hear, I’m no way as good as my Husband, but I am learning to listen for walls, parked cars/vans and trying to remember smells from shops, so we can walk back and say, yep, we passed that bakery before, yep, that’s the coffee shop and yes, that’s the spice shop. So we are on the right street. It’s more difficult in the winter, when all shop doors are closed.

 

OK, tea made by Hub tonight, I fed the dogs, let them out, and we have now to tidy the kitchen and then chill for the night, though the telly has been awful of late, blooming football, tennis and cooking shows. Inside my stomach, I’m shaking. I can’t enjoy a night without so many thoughts buzzing through my head. So much to do before we go away. Loads of paperwork too. I hate this. Bits of paper. What if we don’t have all the right things? So much to remember what we need. The passports, that looks like my bank book. Insurance papers we have to show, that look like any letter. Tickets for our cruise, well, are they our tickets or something else that came through the post? Train tickets, the card we paid for the tickets on. Reference numbers written down to show and foreign currency, English money for taxi’s when we get to our hotel as we have to leave the night before and stay over. And so much more.

 

Paperwork is a blind person’s junk. When you have no sight in the house too, to check if you have everything, so you grab all you have and pray.

 

This is another reason I miss my Mum. She would have read everything for us.

 

OK. Off now, I hope tomorrow is a nice day for you all. My boy spending the day with his Dad, it was not almost like that, he almost came home early, but his Dad kindly bought him a ticket for later on in the day/night.

 

So I guess he will be home about ten tomorrow night. I’m not sure if he’s at college on Monday, as I don’t know for sure if he’s finished for the year?

 

I have lost some weight this week, so I’m happy about that. Not much, about 3lbs, but better than putting it on, right?

 

Later gators. X