PARANOID?

Gosh must stop typing soon. I have had two poems to write one for a wedding and one for a couple of Bloggets who are going through a tough time. Then my volunteering work and lots of phone calls today. I have written a press release and wrote some notes after interviewing a couple of people with two totally different stories. On top of that, things are going on big time in the Fifi Blogget household. So over the next few weeks I think I may have some added stress on top of already stress. SO a stress cake. Layered with cream and stress.

 

Escapism? My poetry. I loved the one I wrote this morning titled “The secret garden” for three minutes I escaped that is how long it took me to do, and that is a long time for a poem from me to be written. If I were to write a dark poem, it would take me no more than ninety seconds. But a happy one? Smile….

 

I need a publisher and an illustrator. Please. Are you out there? Some of my poems especially children’s poetry would make the most colourful and unique pictures. And for children who are blind, tactile pictures too. I know in my mind what I would do around that.

 

Well, the chicken is out of the freezer since this morning so hopefully it will be defrosted in time for dinner. It’s not a chicken but its chicken breasts.

 

Teen went out again last night till stupid hour. I really hope this isn’t going to be his pattern. Sleeping till lunch chilling all day and at ten at night driving miles to hang out till two in the morning? So much for being in at midnight when Hub was at work? Mind you, Hub is OK about it as he teen that is, is so quiet when he comes in. Hub just sleeps through it. See I used to toss and turn and not be able to relax so Hub picked up on this so couldn’t sleep but now I just learn to suffer in silence till teen gets home. I’m so sick of worry. I’m not as bad as I was though a year ago.

 

I think teen’s future will be to join the army. If so, no way his Mum and Dad will be going to his passing out parade. I’m so against kids joining the forces. And I know that teen will be in there a year and have to buy his way out as my Son is too refined to put up with such a tough life. I also know if he heads that way, I will be in a home for those with mental illness as I am anxious if he drives an hour to work.  I hate wars and I don’t want a part of them. Let’s hope it’s a boys thought he is seeing someone in Newcastle next week who oftern is a very bad influence on him, so I expect that he will come back home with his head full of rubbish. Let’s hope not.

 

So, what is my dream right now? Well, I have many; one is to immigrate to Canada. Hub was offered a job to Australia some years ago and we were three weeks off going when Hub pulled out of the idea. Teen and I were so upset but things happen for a reason and we were not meant to go there. But Canada? If I become a world famous writer, smile, we will be able to live anywhere. Right? Mind you will have to pack up my loved ones and take them with me. I just feel squashed right now in the UK. Like walls are pushing in on me and I can’t see over them. I hoped for better weather but again today it’s raining and the weather in England is so awful and getting worse. OK we don’t have extreme weather apart from floods we have had this year, but tornadoes we don’t have not yet anyway. Yesterday there were clouds apparently that were wait for it? I didn’t think it would be possible, five miles tall. I can’t convert that into a different measurement but believe me it’s a long long way from bottom of cloud to top. How does that not fall on us?  Imagine if our sky collapsed? There are large parts of England falling in the sea, houses on cliff edges it’s getting scary or am I having a paranoid day?

 

I have been asked to give another talk at the end of the month. This one is a Biggy. And one on Friday, also quite big but not with such a serious outcome. And Hub working tonight he has to go to a meeting in our city, so his colleague is picking him up.

 

One of our neighbours is getting a load of building work done. Which one? Two doors down I think by the sounds. Not sure what they are getting done but sounds like an extension.

 

Day two my gardener has not come but mind you, it’s been raining, having said that, our garden is the kind that can be done in the rain. No grass at the back to cut. A concrete jungle.

 

I think teen has left his music playing upstairs. He was going to relax today but he is meeting a friend instead. So that is good as its afternoon and still light…..

 

OK housework now. Gosh again?