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Monday, 18 April 2016

DIARY OF WHERE DID WE GO WRONG


Good morning it’s almost two thirty in the morning here on Tuesday morning. Once again, I went to bed, waiting for my Son to return home, and so far still out. I’m feeling sick again especially after what happened at the weekend. I’m getting so sick and tired of this pattern. We asked him to be in for midnight during the week. Weekends we realise we have no choice. We expect 5.a.m is now. But during the week when Hub has to get up for half six? Also it’s just so unsettling we are almost ready to go to bed and teen decides to go out. It was quarter past ten last night when he went out, he’d been out all day to the gym, with a friend in town for lunch and out with a girl back home and out again. The majority of his friends don’t come awake till nine, after dark.

 

 My stomach is hurting, burning with anxiety. I think I might start to vacuum the floors upstairs at seven in the morning, then play loud music. See how he likes having no sleep. OK, he’s 19. But he could be 29, I just worry where is he what is he up to? I hate this world this society and age. I’m sure he will be with a group of friends or a girl, but why the hell can they not go out during the day? Even nights, but not all night? Not during the week. Gosh I hate hate hate this age we are going through. Kids are so dam selfish with only a care for themselves. Where did we go wrong in life? It’s not just our kids, it’s my friends too, they think of number one.

 

Hub and I were talking about this the other day, he said it has something to do with values possibly Grandparents. So Teen has never had a Grand Mother or father since the age of one, or is it church? He says that some children who go to church might be better turned out? Hmm. Not from where I’m standing, I know kids who go to church every week and are involved in every group going with regards the church an yet they drink alcohol and are known to take drugs. They still swear smoke and do all the things that other kids do but the difference is, they go to church. So I think kids are kids. Different cultures seem to have a better grip on the situation. So install fear? I hate that idea. I don’t know what it is. I know in comparison to many Mums I’m friends with, I’m so called lucky, blessed, but in comparison to how I was as a kid, I’m far from blessed.

 

I just wish that Teen found some friends that liked to do things during the day, like sports, hiking the things that teen enjoys, then maybe, just maybe, he would be too tired to be out all night. I mean, half two, no sign of him coming home. I’m tired I won’t get any sleep now and teen will say it’s my fault. May be it is.

 

Well, as for yesterday, my friend Geordie came for lunch. We spent a couple of lovely hours together. And I finished my work for the big office. Today, this morning is going to be a challenge. I have to do something for my Husband and I don’t know if it’s going to be possible. I’m dreading it. This afternoon, Wagga is going for a walk with June. She will love that. Hub has ordered some new speakers so I will wait for those. We were hoping to get some money off his old ones, someone at his work place was going to buy them. Well, sadly they took them but no money. Shame really. As when they were new, they were very expensive.

 
OK, going to make a cup of tea and have some ginger biscuit to try to settle my stomach. I have just received a text from teen telling me he is coming home. No saying where he has been and no appoligies of this ridiculous time. What power do I have? Non. And our kids know this. Later gators.

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