translate

Monday, 11 April 2016

DIARY OF SEEING THROUGH THE CURTAINS BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Sitting here in my lounge. What is it like for me? I can hear my dog walking around the room picking up her toys and I hear my canary eating and drinking. The odd sound from one of the electrical items we have in the house.  And so much noise from outside. So many car doors closing slamming banging. People talking and grass getting cut as well as building work still continuing. A dog barking and distant music. The parrot from across the road and cars driving by.

 

 What can I see sitting here facing the window? Nothing. I think I can see the brightness coming through the window, but then I close my eyes and it’s the same light. I cover my eyes with my hands and it’s the same. So can I see it or is it my brain telling me its daytime, so I am seeing what I think I should be?

 

Now I hear the wind picking up. My wind chimes are going crazy and the school bell has just rang.  The monkeys will be making a noise in the local zoo. I have almost jumped out of my skin as some unwanted leaflets have just been pushed through my door.

 

How do I know they are leaflets? It’s the sound it’s different to letters. A messy sound.

 

I will get up in a moment and walk to the front door pick up the rubbish and put it in the recycling bin. It’s paper to me. Nothing on it. When I’m walking to the door, what will I see? Nothing, but in my mind I have a map and it includes the furniture to avoid. I have read before that some people in America use their white canes around the house? This shocked me but after seeing some huge American homes, may be that is why? Our houses are much smaller. Mind you, I also think because we went to boarding school for the blind, and later on for me partially sighted, we were never taught routes, we had to discover them for ourselves. Our first school, I say our as Hub and I attended the same school for six years. It had so many steps in the houses and grounds. It was a Victorian school. Narrow scary corridors and dim lights. I could see back then but not in the dark and the school was very dark so I guess I learned my way around as a blind person for part of the days there.

 

May be this is why I remember my house, but none of my blind friends use a cane around the house. Even one of my friends Like, our bestie, he has a huge garden and is so aware of it and how to get around it. I remembered he showed me around the garden and he guided me. There were a few steps too. He has a stunning garden and he was amazing how he got about but again, he is used to his own property.

 

My dog has come to sit next to me now, she is clever, and she puts her toy in my hand. Very nice whilst Mummy is typing. It’s one of those toys you fill with treats. In a moment little Wagga.

 

I wish I could see her. I really do. I’m told she is so beautiful. I can only imagine.

 

Hub and I were saying yesterday, we wondered if we had any of the spring flowers in our garden. We planted them some years ago. He went out to try to look. He got cut and came in with splinters. He said there were plenty of thorns out there. Didn’t get any further so can’t even imagine what our garden looks like? I hate it. I’m bored stiff with sight loss. As for Hub, bless him, he has never had any. I wonder do you miss what you have never had?

 

Oh, now a drill is being used and some kind of air machine outside. My head ache from yesterday is back.

 

I will go into the kitchen soon and again I will walk cane free. But all the time in my mind I’m remembering where everything is.

 

Life is boring when you rely on sounds smells and memory all the time. I would love to look and see what is around me. It’s like having your house curtains or blinds closed all day no matter if it’s sunny or not, if it’s raining and you want to see the raindrops, tough, the curtains are closed. As for seeing a snowflake on your window, no, closed dark heavy curtains. Or if you are lucky, some days you will see light grey netting. But no shadows nothing in front of you.

 

OK, next door are vacuuming their car so another sound how do I know that is what they are doing? Just by life’s experiences. Now two motorbikes are speeding on the side road. Which is tiny and one that Waggs and I sometimes use.

 

I wish I could remember who we were talking to the other day, but Hub was saying that he was reading about what we are taking in now as a society in comparison to what we did some years ago. He said that our brain now never has time to switch off. Most people go to bed with some electrical item like a kindle or IPod, perhaps a mobile phone; I know our teen watches TV with us whilst looking at his screen on his IPhone. On his IPhone, he is in a group chat. So many people messaging him. He then is in other groups and browsing the internet all the time. He is getting texts to. Our taxi drivers scare me. They are looking where they are going, glancing at their sat Navigations, looking at their meters, answering radio messages, using their Bluetooth phones and changing the radio channels. As well as one driver I know, he turns to look at you when you are answering his questions. As well as driving you safely you would hope?

 

Too much techy Sons car has a black box; they say to keep your insurance low. Hmm. I’m not convinced. I believe it’s a tracking world we are now living in. Our every move is listed somewhere.

 

It’s said that our Government want us to go total plastic with money do away with notes and coins. Using a card to buy everything. Why? Well, apart from tax evasion, I believe so they know exactly what where and how you are doing.

 

Now personally I don’t mind as I don’t do wrong but to live in such a digital world is a little frightening for our health. I’m sure.

 

Now I will sign out of my lap top, smile and do something around the house. Until later with love.

No comments: