CLEANING IN THE DARK BY FIONA CUMMINGS

People ask me the oddest things. As a person who is blind, note I said as a person…. Who is blind? Yes the political folk have been waving their flags and out there with their metaphorical pens ticking and unticking boxes. We can’t say blind person now; we have to put the person first…. So, person who is blind. For me, not bothered, I wish the do gooders would prevent people on the TV and radio from insinuating that blind people, sorry, there I go again, “People who are blind.” Are stupid? How many times have you heard?

“Are you blind or something? Or, you must be blind, or, if you fancy her, you must be blind.”

 

So saying we are stupid. Or those who date us are mad for doing so. I tell you, there are some extremely handsome and beautiful people out there who have no sight.

 

A stereotypical person who is blind has white eyeballs or their eyes wobble. Not everyone has those kind of eyes. And as for my Husband, he has never had to use his eyes so they move about, I remember seeing him when we were children. I loved his eyes, so they move, but they were beautiful big brown chocolate eyes and he was so very handsome. Thick dark hair tanned skin. Beautiful lips and a smile to die for. OK now he is grey, but still my handsome man who happens to be blind. Our best friend, Like, my Son told me he is very handsome, our friend that is, not my son, Haha. Though my Son is often telling me that he is handsome. Bless him, he knows we can’t see him, so it’s his way. Or is he just vane?

 

Anyway, I digress. Again. Going back to people saying the oddest things? Today a man came to my house to deliver something. He said he would leave me the paper and I had to sign one box and print in the other box. I told him I was blind. He then in the highest voice asked.

“Really? Are you really blind?”

Honestly I felt like saying. No love, I’m joking. My dog next to me has a guide dog disk on for fashion. Haha. Well, then the questions.

“Gosh, how long have you been blind, because you don’t look blind.”

So I had to say it Bloggets. “Well you know the longer you are blind, the more blind you look I guess? Is that what you think? So I don’t look blind, I must have just lost my sight yesterday?”

He didn’t answer, I guess it’s not really his fault, he’s just thick. Or is that ill-informed. I guess the latter. Well, no, I stand corrected. He was a rather stupid man, as you can think certain things, but do you say them allowed? I mean, My Hub has had it all. Like I thought you were blind. Well, if you thought it love, why didn’t you keep it in your head, rather than remind my Husband he obviously looks blind?

 

See we in the UK went through this stage of saying we were visually impaired. Well, to the unknown, what does that mean? Blind, or sighted? And as for a lot of people, like my Hub, he isn’t visually impaired, as he has never had any sight to impair!

 

So if I’m asked to do something that I may need help with like today, needed showing where the boxes were to sign, I say I’m blind. Then we get. Totally? To which my mind, well the voice in my mind is answering. “no, just a little bit blind…

 

Blind is blind, surely? Or you would be partially sighted? I mean, the clue is in the words guys?

 

It was so funny when we went for a meal with my brother and sister in law, the waiter handed Hub and myself the menu’s. Well, of course hub pretended to read it. We could have had more fun with it as Hub told my brother what he wanted. Well, if I hadn’t have laughed, and explained that we had looked up the menu the night before, imagine our brother’s reaction to our knowledge that we knew exactly what was on the menu? Hahahahah. OK, we are sick.

 

People aske me how do I know how to clean my house?

My answer, I know a house needs dusting, so I get my dusters glass cleaner and polish. Polish in a tin, glass cleaner in a plastic bottle. We have started to put Braille on the bottles as so many plastic bottles now days look or feel the same. Go into your cleaning cupboards and take a look, well, close your eyes before opening your cupboards and feel see how many bottles of cleaning products you get right?

 

Put all the bottles you think you know to your right and those you don’t know, to your left and open your eyes see how well you did? Most times I got it right, but I will never forget cleaning my kitchen worktops with a black tire polish rather than my wood cleaner? My ex came from work and asked what his car tire blacker was doing out with a duster on top?

Now I Braille the first two letters well, Hub Braille’s the first two letters on that plastic laminate and I can read enough Braille to understand what I’m using. Also I have started to buy only four cleaning products. I used to have cleaner for every single item in the house. Not now, it’s so much easier.

 

We have glass doors in our house and with dog noses, this is difficult. So you feel the sticky mess where they have been sniffing and polish it. Then use kitchen paper toweling to make sure you don’t have any smudges.

 

I remember where my ornaments are so I don’t knock them off. So I lift them gently and dust. This is why we are exhausted at the end of a day of housework as too much to remember. I could be more helpful to myself and have no ornaments but to me this would look so unhomely.

 

Mind you there is a happy medium. And I’m not talking someone who can tell you your future whilst laughing, but have much less ornaments. Me?  

 

We know bathrooms needs cleaning, so we do them. Are they clean? Who knows? We can just do our best. And I have not yet had the health inspectors coming to close me down yet… Most of my sighted friends say that our house is much cleaner than theirs so I’m happy with that.

 

Try to put your vacuum back in the same place so you don’t fall over it. And never ever put down your duster for a second whilst you do something else. Believe me, you won’t find it until it’s too late.

 

I put things under my arms and carry. Like bottles or cleaning tins of stuff.

 

Ironing?              Many burns later, when I put my iron down, as obviously I can’t put that under my arm. Smile, I put it on the ironing board and how do I find it again? Yes, I know it’s on the end in the holder, but where again was the handle? Which way was it facing?

 

I follow the wire up and at the end of the wire, is normally the handle. Also as you are getting close to the plate of heat, you can feel it. Just move slowly. How do I know when the creases are out? You, how do you know? You look? With your eyes. I look with my fingers. I start ironing at one end never in the middle.

 

As for clothes, colours always a pet hate of mine. We have a colour gadget. It’s a hand held gadget and it reads the colour you have in your hand, but it’s not too accurate. I also use TapTapSee a fantastic application you can get for your IPhone or IPod. It’s free too. Used to be chargeable in the UK but not now. That is amazing as sometimes will read food on your cans or boxes, but for colours it’s great. Money, it’s a challenge as sometimes will say bank note, but not how much your note is.

 

OK will go for now but if I can help you with anything around your house, please let me know? My email is

visionsforfuture@googlemail.com