ALONE AT CHRISTMAS

As I said in a earlier blog, I have been asked to write for those who don’t have family or friends at Christmas time. I guess this blog could be for all year round but safer some reason people feel more alone at Christmas time, I guess it’s because you look around and see families making plans to meet up, be together, go places and just in general get into the spirit of things so you will feel more left out at this time each year.

As I’m writing this blog, I can say hand on heart I don’t have a clue what the next line is going to read. Those of you who know me already, will know I rarely plan my blogs, even when in this case I have been asked to write about a certain subject, I just sit here and let the inner soul speak. In some occasions, I have to research my subject but that is only to get addresses links or perhaps I have been asked to write a subject that I really don’t have any knowledge on!

I hope only one thing. That if this blog is aimed at you, for you, my wish is that you feel better after reading this and from feeling better, you get put on the right road away from the rocky path and from now on, a safe smoothed slope to the highest hill to rejoice and feel the air blowing through your hair and feel the emotion of being alive again.

If you know people with big families, or your neighbours are having loads of friends around at their house but fail to invite you, just know that doesn’t mean their lives are perfect. In fact, imperfect, could be more like it. Quite often people disappoint, especially when expectations are high. What appears enviable from the outside, may not be quite so appealing if you were to take a sneaky peep through the closed curtains of their heart and minds.

Let’s get things in perspective. Christmas day is one day. The tree will come down, gifts will get used thrown away and food will get eaten. Soon it will all be over for another year. In parts of the world, they don’t even celebrate Christmas, so to them it’s really another day. Just like it is for you when other religious days come around. Christmas is so commercial now. The gift of Christmas which I will write about in a moment, has sadly got out of control the greed of man. We are told we will be happy. We will be sociable. We will get very drunk and look like fools. Our head will kill the next day because of how much alcohol we have consumed. Not me personally, as unless it tastes like fruit juice I can’t stand drinking. After one glass of wine I am waisted. But like sheep most people follow the thing we are told to do at this time of year. Have you ever wondered why we are lead to believe we must have office parties? Go out for meals with the girls after work? Meet up with people from church for a curry? Have secret Santa’s at work? Take the teachers at our kids schools a gift? Bring a shoe box full of gifts for the poor? Can you see the link? It’s all to do with how much money we spend.

Different coloured baubles are in our shops each year. Looking so much better than last year. New toys, games, IPhones are out at Christmas time when most people will buy. So it’s all about money. We have lost the sense of loving our neighbour now. How about spending £5 or whatever your denomination is or using what is in your cupboards to bake a cake or some biscuits/cookies for Mrs Brown who lives at number 42. Taking your unused clothes to the charity shop. Volunteering for a local charity? Asking an elderly or disabled neighbour or family member if they would like to go for a nice country walk or to the town to see the Christmas lights or perhaps invite them around for a coffee? Get your children to make something for their teacher, if one child says they are going to do it, get them to feel special and gifted for doing so, then their friends will copy you know what kids are like?

I read a story once when a school got an old music teacher to go to their school. All the old students she taught, who were adults now, gathered and as the lady walked down the hall to as far as she was concerned turning up for a meeting, the kids/adults stepped out of various classrooms and began to perform their well-rehearsed song for her to say thank you for doing what she did. It was a deprived area and this retired teacher gave those kids hope. Got them to believe that they could be someone. Taught them to express themselves through music and respect each other because they learned how to listen to each other. Music is a wonderful lesson. You are taught patients to wait to know when it’s your turn to join in and so on.

The teacher was overwhelmed. I had tears just learning of this story. I doubt anyone had ever said thank you to her.

My neighbour gave up her time to sit with my Son the day before his driving test to give him experience in driving like a quick catch up course before his test. Her time cost her nothing.
The song was free. The coffee meant more than a 50p drink, it was an afternoon of memories forever. The cake was little money or free as if you didn’t use the ingredients soon, they would have to be thrown out. The picture you painted your teacher was the cost of some paint and paper. A walk is totally free. A voice, words, a smile, a laugh. Just to remind people they mean enough for you to spend time with.

Whilst I may not be able to remove your pain right now, I hope I can at least resonate with you and perhaps help a little at least?

If you have got this far reading, you are here for the long hall. So here we go.

Why not keep a Diary?
Or a task list?
Write in your Diary what you hope to achieve that day and what your thoughtsare? And if you have done whatever, then say how whatever has made you feel? From your task list, tick off what you have done. So, give yourself three things to do each day. Every morning or night before bed, set your tasks. At the end of the day, when you see you have done two out of three things, I promise you will feel so good. So proud and it can be as little as something like eating better. You know you need potassium in your diet so tick next to where it says eat a banana? See, it’s not something mammoth like sky diving.

Write a gratitude list. Write five things in a day that you are grateful for. Post it on social media. Pass on the good feel idea. It could be something like grateful because you sleep on a comfortable pillow at nights. You have food in your stomach. You don’t live in a dangerous environment, or you are healthy.

Take yourself out to the theatre or cinema they are normally less crowded at this time of year, well the cinema is. Don’t feel self conscious about being on your own, people go to see what is on the screen, not who is scoffing popcorn.

Is there a serious you have missed and you really wanted to see it? Get Netflix or your cable provider and have a few days catching up with the programs.

Take a long bath, buy some treats for the bath. Light some candles, make your very own spa.

Make yourself a cup of your fave beverage and sit with a good book or kindle.

Why not start a project something you used to do and fancy trying again? Pick up that musical instrument or knitting needles, start writing poems again? Phone that person you used to get on with a year or so ago. Most of all, remember you are not alone, the people who are feeling as down as you also stay in the house, also wish they were them, but them, as I put it, often wear a mask. And finally, you never know what is around the corner. I would have never thought that I would have been reunited with my first love from school after 28 years. When I started to write my blog, and by the way, I’m so not tech savvy, I can’t even use our TV, I thought I would write for about ten friends. That shocks me in a very good way. We are so very close now to reaching 160,000 views I write this blog for you. When you stop reading, I will stop writing.

Whilst I write to you all, you are never alone, as this blog is yours.