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Friday, 12 August 2016

THE SHOES OF OTHERS BY FIONA CUMMINGS


What is in a smile? Can you tell what kind of person someone is by their smile? As a person who can’t see that physically, one can hear a smile in a voice. Some would say a smile, others sneer. And you can tell when someone is sneering opposed to smiling.

 

There is a lot of smiles in that paragraph? Sorry, not sure how else I can write that. Haha.

 

This is interesting, I never knew this or even thought about it until I met my Husband who as you may know has been blind all of his life. He told me that people who have never seen, don’t know facial expressions. So his, come naturally, whereas I know how to perform my face. Haha. I know what shocked looks like or an expression of fear, excitement and so on. The only way I can explain it to Hub is by telling him to for example, think about something that has really shocked him in life. To remember that moment and pretend he has just been told that news again, then feel his face and try to emulate that expression next time he has to look shocked or if he was ever told something that made him excited or even just very happy, what would he do if was told that now? I know this is kind of difficult as of course first time you are told something shocking, how can you go through that again? But it’s the best only way I can get him to know how this works?

 

Some people will ask why is this necessary? Well, I have known some people who have never seen, a teacher of mine for example, she always looked miserable. Even when she laughed. So that got me thinking, when we smile, is it half real emotions and half acting?

 

We for example have all herd of false smile or a mean expression. Gosh, now when I was at school I was in a drama group and loved it. I wouldn’t know how to do the mean face unless I stop and really think about it. The only way I can think about pulling a mean expression is to act. just for a few seconds, put myself inside the head of a mean person. But I don’t like that feel. If someone was to ask me now to look horrified, I would have to fill my head with fearful thoughts, as our expressions are not a switch to be turned on.

 

I wonder, should children who are born blind be taught expressions in drama at school? I mean, how do you know that others show how they feel in their expressions if you have never seen expressions? Same with colours. This hurt and still does. When I used to go on about colours in our house, Hub never showed interest. Until a couple of years into the relationship and he told me that he hates colours well talking about them. I asked naively why? He said because he had never seen a colour so he feels somewhat left out.

 

Oh I felt so bad guilty that I had never even thought about that. Our house was being painted and he didn’t even have a clue what colours we were getting. This made me so sad. I know I miss colours now, seeing them, but at least I have them in my memory bank. I mean, if I was to say to Hub the colour orange, just think of an orange as in fruit, well, and? Again, the colour orange the same as the fruit, so the colour of a waxed unsmoothed skin? The colour green is like grass. So, the colour green is like blades of silky string? Imagine if you were told that your trousers had to be silky string and your top had to be unsmoothed skin? Rather than just saying the colour.

 

Or how about I was to say to you, my wall paper is hegaldee and my sofa is kikna?

Come on, what colours did I describe to you? Any clue? These are foreign words that make no sense.

 

I love to write to get people thinking out of the box. I love to receive emails from you all telling me that you never thought of this that or the other.

 

Sometimes it’s good to put ourselves in the shoes of others, as long as we can then put our own shoes on and be grateful that they fit so well.

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