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Monday, 15 August 2016

MONDAYS DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Sitting outside in our dreadful noisy garden. I can’t stand much more of this. Typical that teen has found a girlfriend around the corner from here bad time keeping. I’m not kidding, there is a car goes by every half second each way. So four cars per second. And the road has not been surfaced since these houses were built almost thirty years ago. So each bump can be heard and the engines are magnified the pollution is disgraceful and to top that, someone somewhere is burning fires not sure if it’s the fields, fields? Where? People tell me that the horrid smells is coming from the fields. Well, I don’t know where there are any fields here apart from the local school and the park and I don’t think that will be a place where they will put manure?

 

In the distance I hear the parrot. I love to hear him. I can’t hear the birds right now sadly as the road sounds are too loud right now. Where on earth are all the cars going? Hub said that no one will buy our house because of the road. Smile. We did? Haha. When I came to look at this house Hub was in America, so I feel a forever guilt because he isn’t happy here, but, it was pouring with rain, so little time was spent admiring the garden. Also remember I can’t see so I didn’t see the disguise that the previous owner had in place as a barrier for the noise. When we moved in, oh my, there were fern trees and thick ivy as well as a large shed at the bottom of the garden. Oh a truck has just gone by, followed by a bus and a van pulling a trailer which sounds empty as it bounces its tinny self along the gravelled ground and my neighbours bless them are having to shout at each other to be heard. And they normally are the quietest gentle spoken people.

 

Our house is lovely, the people are great, I have made a few loyal friends and it is so close to everything. I thought it was perfect. The church for Hub is a three minute walk. Our bus stop to our town and so on is a two minute walk. Nearest restaurant is an nine minute or just over as is the vet, local shop and the Doctors dentist chemist is fifteen minutes’ walk. The cinema and lots of other eateries as well as a huge supermarket is an eighteen minute walk but you have to cross the dangerous road and bowling alley is over there too and the park, a five minute walk. Town is jut two miles away but because we have London traffic, it takes on good days just over fifteen minutes to get there by taxi, twenty five on bus and on bad days at least double. Just for two miles. But when we moved here, I thought it was great for Hub and Teen and Teen loves the house and area, but he says he is a city boy. Where as Hub and myself are country people, but, when you can’t see, you can’t live in a perfect location. Have a good area too. You have to live where it is convenient. Hub is so ready for moving. Personally, I don’t know how we will do it again. It almost killed me last time, but as I said to Hub last night, he again was abroad when we were about to move for four weeks leading up to the move, he was home one day per week. I had all of the packing to do it was hellish as you know I have so many precious items to wrap We would have to spend a lot of money which we don’t have to get help and on our last day the day we moved my brother in law drove us from old too new as well as helped the useless removal company to load the vvan. Oh my goodness I will never forget that day, those days.

 

Hub has been looking at houses closer to work. But if we move there, it’s too far from our friends. I know we only see them about once every six weeks, but the knowledge that if we ever need anything urgently, we know that they will be there and this is too important.

 

Sighted people are so lucky, even those who can’t see but have sighted partners, you can live anywhere. We have to pick. Did I pick badly? I personally don’t believe so. We could have ended up in a quiet house, but were miles from everything or find somewhere peaceful in the garden, but rough as soon as we left the front door. Our neighbours here all look out for one another and are really friendly, so there you go… Smile. Grump over.

 

Today in the news I was reading about a lady in South Africa who stole a baby from a hospital many years ago and now it has been discovered who the child who is now I believe a teenager

 Belonged to. The lady has gone to court and has been jailed for I think ten years. The little girl or teen, doesn’t want to know her natural parents.

 

How do I feel about this subject? Very sad. Firstly, you have to ask why did the lady take the baby? Then you have to feel for the mother who lost her baby. Gosh I can’t think of anything worse. When I had my baby in hospital, I was shocked by the lack of security in there. I took my baby everywhere including when I had a shower, he went in the bathroom with me in his crib. I was attached to a machine and trying to get me, the machine and the baby to the bathroom on my own was a nightmare. I even slept with him if you can call it sleep, next to me in the small hospital bed. Oh he was such a little darling. We bonded for sure. I lay there just in complete disbelief how my so called natural Mother could with ease get rid of me as a new born babe. Outside my room door, I heard the 16 year old new mothers discussing how they didn’t want their baby’s and how they had lives to live so they were adopting. I ached for those innocent babies. What futures they were going to have. OK they would have ended up with better parents as I did but the knowledge of their background would haunt them forever. I have scars that will not heal. I wanted to choke those girls. And in the next room was a poor lady whose baby was still born. She screamed during the night and her cries remain on my mind forever. She wanted her baby so badly, it was taken from her. The girls didn’t want their children and they were given healthy babies. What a world we live in. My adopted Mum wanted children so badly and couldn’t have them naturally so gave her love to me and my brother. How difficult that must have been for her to look at us and know we didn’t resemble her or my Dad at all an yet she never let us know her feelings other than she would have given us the best and loved us like a parent who had given birth and I’m sure this lady in SA did that with the baby who wasn’t hers by birth.

 

I feel for the child who has been put in such a difficult situation. She is far too young to know what she wants. Of course she loves her Mum who is now in jail. She will be afraid grieving for her loss and very confused because her natural parent isn’t who she thought she was. She has lived a lie. How can she ever trust her Mother again? By meeting her natural parents, who are they? Strangers and by meeting them, the girl will feel like she is letting her Mum down. The poor girl, I only hope she has help from someone, I mean, who now will be looking after the girl?

 

As for the natural Mother, knowing her baby is out there almost grown up without a parent, I just can’t even imagine the pain.

 

I just wish people would think before having babies? It’s great on the odd occasion when it all works out. If you do get pregnant and you are not with the father, if you both end up together forever and bring your baby up in a wanted environment, fantastic, but whether or not the couple are going to remain happy, is another thing. With all the contraception these days, why are people still having children when they are not fully with a partner? I have just learned that a young girl is with child and she is not with a partner. I’m old fashioned I know. And though I had been married ten years before my Son was born, some would say, including me, I felt alone with him. I just wish people could live in a perfect world where babies were planned wanted and needed in a perfect relationship. Do I live in a fantasy world? I guess I do. My Son is always telling me that Hub and I are well behind the times. And I guess we are.

 

Whilst I have been writing this, some drama has just been caused so I must go to try to fix it. I don’t think this will be possible, just another crappy day ahead. I’m out of the way from indoors on my own and trouble just follows me. Smile. Gosh for those of you who have a stress free life, you are so lucky, and I hope you have a nice breakfast when you wake up? Haha.

 

Just got a smell coming from my Mother in laws roses. Among the burning wood fields whatever and traffic. Bless her forever. Will miss her always and so pleased she lives on not only in our heart but garden.

 

Until later with love, I hope your Monday has got off to a good start. X

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