Tuesday morning, our big girl LC, A.K.A Suki, was playing,
jumping like a crazy gal and barking growling at little Waggatail I asked her
to get Waggs for me as she wouldn’t come in from the garden, LC understood this
it was a game for her, and I used to play and have only played it for two
weeks. Teen and Hub used to laugh as they heard me say. “Suki, go on and fetch
Wagga?” Suki would come to my side, and run in the garden, woof once and
Waggs would run in. I loved it it was almost human.
Tuesday afternoon, Suki, put her head on my knee. I had just let
her out so I knew it wasn’t that. Looking back now, she was in pain. She went
to bed her Daddy came in from his time at the farm, where he was with his
colleagues. I at that time was at the shop, I came in he said that he was
worried about LC; he thought she was sulking as he didn’t take her because he
wasn’t allowed to as it was a working farm.
Well, Tuesday evening she wasn’t well. Just lying around.
Wednesday he left her with me. Thursday he took her to work as she picked up a
little. He said she was walking around the office, as though looking back; she
was saying bye bye to everyone. As when she came home on Thursday, she ignored
Little Wagga and went to bed. Waggs was as disappointed as she loved her big
sister coming home as they used to play and go crazy.
Oh that evening, it was hell. She was breathing badly and
sleeping the worst thing she didn’t want her dinner.
Hub showed her the harness next day. Normally she would run to
him and almost jump in it. Well, she wouldn’t get out of bed.
Hub took her to the vet near his office as that is a big vet
with all of the equipment.
Within three hours. Our little girl was put to sleep.
Last Saturday, she was all around the town she was amazing as
ever. Nothing bothered her. Nothing fazed her. She was our super hero.
Two and a half days of showing us she was ill and then gone.
I phoned the office to ask how she was before I learned of her
death. A lady answered and told me Hub was coming home. Oh my God. I didn’t
want to be on this earth at that point.
A lovely lady who works with Hub, who to be honest has
been amazing for us this year, as she took Waggs when we went on holiday and I
knew she was in great hands with her, and she took Hub to the vet and now all
the way home?
Hub had handed over LC’s harness to a colleague in the office.
Knowing he would never need it again.
He said it was the most painful thing that he has ever had to
do. He felt like he had his left arm cut off.
Our Guide dogs are part of us. We have a bond with them like
nothing else on earth. They are our freedom and our eyes. They are not just a
pet. They are us. Part of us. Hub walked through the door. I had two cups of
tea ready but his colleague didn’t come in bless her. She had the long drive
home.
I just held him and together we broke.
Well, I was so angry. Why couldn’t the vets save her? She had a
tumour attached to her heart and it looked like it was attached to her
lungs too.
She was only nine 16 days before. 16 days before also was a
year, on LC’s birthday, that we had to say goodbye to my Hannah A.K.A Black
beauty
Our Suki, / LC, didn’t even reach retirement. What a cruel world
we live in. She worked all of her life for us and I say us because without her,
I would never ever have been able to get to the places we needed not the places
we wanted to go to, but needed to. I used my white cane and our darling LC was
the light that Shon for us to see our way.
Oh my word. Who now would do that? How will we cope? And Hub was
just saying that he wanted to visit the Cathedral this Christmas and do all the
Christmas music. Well, that idea is out of the window now.
He was to raise money for Guide Dogs at our train station near
Christmas. Now with what dog? He is to do a speech in our city in a couple of
weeks. Talking about Guide Dogs. He has asked me to do it for him.
It’s the character that I miss. The long swooshing tail. The
long face with those enormous eyes. When Hub used to go abroad, she stayed with
me. I was protected with her as no one could come to the house without her
barking. She was funny, she would put her head on my leg and together we would
walk around our house. It was like “I’m looking out for you Mummy. She never
did it with Hub. Only me, as if I don’t know my way around my own house? But I
let her do it. In her little way, she was helping me. Her head never left my
leg until I said it’s OK.
If we were coming too close to a wall, she would push with her
head me to the side.
Our house feels so empty. The walls are further away. The
ceiling is higher and the floor is not so solid. What scares me more is how on
earth are we going to cope? How will Hub get over this? He has cried all Friday
and during the night, he tossed and turned. Then after four this morning
I must have fell asleep. I woke up not long after that and he wasn’t in his
bed. I honestly thought that he had done something to himself. The state he was
in. I jumped up; put on my dressing gown ran down stairs shouting his name.
He silently stood in the kitchen. Just still. Just so numb.
I put my arms around him and he sobbed. Saying “I want my little
girl back Fiona. I need my little girl.”
Oh what to say? How to make him feel better? I’m also in so much
agony. The pain in my throat is like someone is cutting it. The pain in my
heart is as if it’s bruised. As for my stomach? It’s burning. My eyes are so
saw like a razor has cut them and each time I close my lids, it’s like salt is
being rubbed into the cuts. They are burning. They feel like they are being
pulled out or squeezed from the sockets.
I’m angry. So angry. I’m grieving but what my love is going
through is ten times worse. How on earth will he cope with going back to work?
A place he uses to take LC and have her bed under his desk? Knowing that his
baby was there all day? She was the office heart and everyone loved her. My
loving mad Aunt G told me today she has cried so much. My friend Vivi didn’t
sleep last night and today went for her shopping but came back with only half.
Her mind wasn’t on the job. She adored Suki, our Long Chops. Our friend Mr.
Clock broke down when he heard the news over the phone last night. And today, our
besties came. Trix and Like. Teen told me not to ask them not to come, as we
would just cry all day. He was right, our friends came. Hub and I didn’t
know how we would get through the day, but we were in need of help that I
couldn’t provide. They are both Guide dog owners so understand as does
our other friend JB. All our friends have been so supportive. Friends from all
over the world. My Bloggets my friends on Facebook too. Such kindness we have
been shown. My Niece Kerstin has even said she would come through next weekend
bless her. But it isn’t just next weekend. It’s a life change. A life change we
were not prepared for.
A lot of blind friends have Husbands or wives who can see. We
are both blind. Both need our Suki back. Our best friend. Our lifeline and our
darling little dog.
She has given all of her life. She took nothing. And when she
really needed us, when she was in pain, we couldn’t even help her. The vets
didn’t even try. Hub said it’s not their fault they were lovely, all I know is,
I lost my Hannah last year in five days she went from her little self to death.
In two and a half days, our Suki did that same thing. The vets were not able to
do anything. Our Suki had a year at least before she had to retire. Four
days before her being put to sleep, she was like a one year old dog. The week
before that she jumped over our friend’s wall and the week before that, she
guided Hub and then I followed them through the train station as when we
visited our Brother and family, no one at the station came to help, so we had
to do it on our own. Well, with the help of our Suki.
Who will help us now? Who will take away this awful pain? I
think my insides are going to burst. I need to be strong for my love. How will
he cope in his office where he looks after the needs of Guide Dogs and their
owners? How will he do the train stations again? So many times assistance doesn’t
turn up. Suki was always there. Hotels with his business, Suki knew I know when
we went to Scotland; I was with Hub for a works meeting with his old job. Suki
just knew what to do. She knew it because that was what she did. She knew in
the morning that she had to find the restaurant. I mean, how? I will never know.
She knew in meetings to lay and be quiet. When it was break
times in meetings, and sometimes colleagues didn’t talk to Hub or were making
their way to him and he didn’t know it at the time, he would put his hand down
and there would be his faithful friend. In the bad old days when Hub travelled
every week, in empty hotels full of loneliness, who was there? Not me, his
wife, but our Suki.
No one now to make me feel secure in bed at nights when Hub
away. No big beastie girl to stroke or write about no more adventures between
LC and Wagga. In just over a year I have gone from BB, LC and Waggs to just our
Wagga. She is also missing her big sister so much. How do I tell her? Her LC
isn’t coming home. How does my body put up with this pain?
Part 2
Well that was a year almost to the day. Today we got some great
news after my Husband opened a Just giving page to raise money to name a Guide
Dog puppy after his Suki, we received the good news that on the 17th
of June this year, our baby Suki was born. She is a cross Labrador Retriever.
She’s yellow and the pictures show she is a cute little hero who I hope will go
on to make another guide for someone who will need her, love and care for her
as much as we did with our old Suki. Thank you all so very much for all of your
help and support. You were so generous in your donations. You have given the
light to shine to guide through the darkness and you have made it possible for
this special pup to be given a name that will live in our heart forever, as
well as whoever gets little Suki that person will be told why the dog is called
Suki, so she will live on again thanks to those of you who kindly donated and thank
you so much for your wonderful words when we needed our hearts to be healed.
Good luck little Suki, I hope your life is full of excitement
and happiness. You were born for a reason, you are much needed, wanted and you
are a special little girl. Xxxxxx
Tuesday morning, our big girl LC, A.K.A Suki, was playing,
jumping like a crazy gal and barking growling at little Waggatail I asked her
to get Waggs for me as she wouldn’t come in from the garden, LC understood this
it was a game for her, and I used to play and have only played it for two
weeks. Teen and Hub used to laugh as they heard me say. “Suki, go on and fetch
Wagga?” Suki would come to my side, and run in the garden, woof once and
Waggs would run in. I loved it it was almost human.
Tuesday afternoon, Suki, put her head on my knee. I had just let
her out so I knew it wasn’t that. Looking back now, she was in pain. She went
to bed her Daddy came in from his time at the farm, where he was with his
colleagues. I at that time was at the shop, I came in he said that he was
worried about LC; he thought she was sulking as he didn’t take her because he
wasn’t allowed to as it was a working farm.
Well, Tuesday evening she wasn’t well. Just lying around.
Wednesday he left her with me. Thursday he took her to work as she picked up a
little. He said she was walking around the office, as though looking back; she
was saying bye bye to everyone. As when she came home on Thursday, she ignored
Little Wagga and went to bed. Waggs was as disappointed as she loved her big
sister coming home as they used to play and go crazy.
Oh that evening, it was hell. She was breathing badly and
sleeping the worst thing she didn’t want her dinner.
Hub showed her the harness next day. Normally she would run to
him and almost jump in it. Well, she wouldn’t get out of bed.
Hub took her to the vet near his office as that is a big vet
with all of the equipment.
Within three hours. Our little girl was put to sleep.
Last Saturday, she was all around the town she was amazing as
ever. Nothing bothered her. Nothing fazed her. She was our super hero.
Two and a half days of showing us she was ill and then gone.
I phoned the office to ask how she was before I learned of her
death. A lady answered and told me Hub was coming home. Oh my God. I didn’t
want to be on this earth at that point.
A lovely lady who works with Hub, who to be honest has
been amazing for us this year, as she took Waggs when we went on holiday and I
knew she was in great hands with her, and she took Hub to the vet and now all
the way home?
Hub had handed over LC’s harness to a colleague in the office.
Knowing he would never need it again.
He said it was the most painful thing that he has ever had to
do. He felt like he had his left arm cut off.
Our Guide dogs are part of us. We have a bond with them like
nothing else on earth. They are our freedom and our eyes. They are not just a
pet. They are us. Part of us. Hub walked through the door. I had two cups of
tea ready but his colleague didn’t come in bless her. She had the long drive
home.
I just held him and together we broke.
Well, I was so angry. Why couldn’t the vets save her? She had a
tumour attached to her heart and it looked like it was attached to her
lungs too.
She was only nine 16 days before. 16 days before also was a
year, on LC’s birthday, that we had to say goodbye to my Hannah A.K.A Black
beauty
Our Suki, / LC, didn’t even reach retirement. What a cruel world
we live in. She worked all of her life for us and I say us because without her,
I would never ever have been able to get to the places we needed not the places
we wanted to go to, but needed to. I used my white cane and our darling LC was
the light that Shon for us to see our way.
Oh my word. Who now would do that? How will we cope? And Hub was
just saying that he wanted to visit the Cathedral this Christmas and do all the
Christmas music. Well, that idea is out of the window now.
He was to raise money for Guide Dogs at our train station near
Christmas. Now with what dog? He is to do a speech in our city in a couple of
weeks. Talking about Guide Dogs. He has asked me to do it for him.
It’s the character that I miss. The long swooshing tail. The
long face with those enormous eyes. When Hub used to go abroad, she stayed with
me. I was protected with her as no one could come to the house without her
barking. She was funny, she would put her head on my leg and together we would
walk around our house. It was like “I’m looking out for you Mummy. She never
did it with Hub. Only me, as if I don’t know my way around my own house? But I
let her do it. In her little way, she was helping me. Her head never left my
leg until I said it’s OK.
If we were coming too close to a wall, she would push with her
head me to the side.
Our house feels so empty. The walls are further away. The
ceiling is higher and the floor is not so solid. What scares me more is how on
earth are we going to cope? How will Hub get over this? He has cried all Friday
and during the night, he tossed and turned. Then after four this morning
I must have fell asleep. I woke up not long after that and he wasn’t in his
bed. I honestly thought that he had done something to himself. The state he was
in. I jumped up; put on my dressing gown ran down stairs shouting his name.
He silently stood in the kitchen. Just still. Just so numb.
I put my arms around him and he sobbed. Saying “I want my little
girl back Fiona. I need my little girl.”
Oh what to say? How to make him feel better? I’m also in so much
agony. The pain in my throat is like someone is cutting it. The pain in my
heart is as if it’s bruised. As for my stomach? It’s burning. My eyes are so
saw like a razor has cut them and each time I close my lids, it’s like salt is
being rubbed into the cuts. They are burning. They feel like they are being
pulled out or squeezed from the sockets.
I’m angry. So angry. I’m grieving but what my love is going
through is ten times worse. How on earth will he cope with going back to work?
A place he uses to take LC and have her bed under his desk? Knowing that his
baby was there all day? She was the office heart and everyone loved her. My
loving mad Aunt G told me today she has cried so much. My friend Vivi didn’t
sleep last night and today went for her shopping but came back with only half.
Her mind wasn’t on the job. She adored Suki, our Long Chops. Our friend Mr.
Clock broke down when he heard the news over the phone last night. And today, our
besties came. Trix and Like. Teen told me not to ask them not to come, as we
would just cry all day. He was right, our friends came. Hub and I didn’t
know how we would get through the day, but we were in need of help that I
couldn’t provide. They are both Guide dog owners so understand as does
our other friend JB. All our friends have been so supportive. Friends from all
over the world. My Bloggets my friends on Facebook too. Such kindness we have
been shown. My Niece Kerstin has even said she would come through next weekend
bless her. But it isn’t just next weekend. It’s a life change. A life change we
were not prepared for.
A lot of blind friends have Husbands or wives who can see. We
are both blind. Both need our Suki back. Our best friend. Our lifeline and our
darling little dog.
She has given all of her life. She took nothing. And when she
really needed us, when she was in pain, we couldn’t even help her. The vets
didn’t even try. Hub said it’s not their fault they were lovely, all I know is,
I lost my Hannah last year in five days she went from her little self to death.
In two and a half days, our Suki did that same thing. The vets were not able to
do anything. Our Suki had a year at least before she had to retire. Four
days before her being put to sleep, she was like a one year old dog. The week
before that she jumped over our friend’s wall and the week before that, she
guided Hub and then I followed them through the train station as when we
visited our Brother and family, no one at the station came to help, so we had
to do it on our own. Well, with the help of our Suki.
Who will help us now? Who will take away this awful pain? I
think my insides are going to burst. I need to be strong for my love. How will
he cope in his office where he looks after the needs of Guide Dogs and their
owners? How will he do the train stations again? So many times assistance doesn’t
turn up. Suki was always there. Hotels with his business, Suki knew I know when
we went to Scotland; I was with Hub for a works meeting with his old job. Suki
just knew what to do. She knew it because that was what she did. She knew in
the morning that she had to find the restaurant. I mean, how? I will never know.
She knew in meetings to lay and be quiet. When it was break
times in meetings, and sometimes colleagues didn’t talk to Hub or were making
their way to him and he didn’t know it at the time, he would put his hand down
and there would be his faithful friend. In the bad old days when Hub travelled
every week, in empty hotels full of loneliness, who was there? Not me, his
wife, but our Suki.
No one now to make me feel secure in bed at nights when Hub
away. No big beastie girl to stroke or write about no more adventures between
LC and Wagga. In just over a year I have gone from BB, LC and Waggs to just our
Wagga. She is also missing her big sister so much. How do I tell her? Her LC
isn’t coming home. How does my body put up with this pain?
Part 2
Well that was a year almost to the day. Today we got some great
news after my Husband opened a Just giving page to raise money to name a Guide
Dog puppy after his Suki, we received the good news that on the 17th
of June this year, our baby Suki was born. She is a cross Labrador Retriever.
She’s yellow and the pictures show she is a cute little hero who I hope will go
on to make another guide for someone who will need her, love and care for her
as much as we did with our old Suki. Thank you all so very much for all of your
help and support. You were so generous in your donations. You have given the
light to shine to guide through the darkness and you have made it possible for
this special pup to be given a name that will live in our heart forever, as
well as whoever gets little Suki that person will be told why the dog is called
Suki, so she will live on again thanks to those of you who kindly donated and thank
you so much for your wonderful words when we needed our hearts to be healed.
Good luck little Suki, I hope your life is full of excitement
and happiness. You were born for a reason, you are much needed, wanted and you
are a special little girl. Xxxxxx
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