Written with a cliff hanger at the end.. ()()
Gosh Bloggets, mixed emotions today. A question, why is it
so important for our kids to do well in the world? Of course we love them. Our
Son is important to us and my only child so I guess a Mother with five children
kind of share their thoughts, spreading their love? Or not, I just can’t imagine
having to love equally worry the same and have enough energy if I had more than
one child. This is why I wonder if the love I have is concentrated into one?
My boy has gone for a job interview today, but this
particular job, there were a load of applicants as yesterday there was a job
fair for this company in our town. In my opinion, it’s far beneath his potential,
but, as I keep saying to Hub and Teen, take the next few years as you would at
university. His friends who are now and going to Uni, they won’t have a full
time job until they are 21 plus, so if he can get as much experience as
possible in the meanwhile, so be it. Who knows, he may go to university in the
future, but sitting still and studying isn’t my lads strong point, he has had a
part time job since he was fifteen, second job at 16, third at seventeen and at
eighteen he progressed at that job and became supervisor in the meanwhile he
was asked to work for another business, he tried it and didn’t like it, and
now, we are here.
He left ages ago and should have been back I would say after
an hour? It’s well and truly over that now. I’m scared to call him as may be
still with the person interviewing.
To take my mind off everything I went to do my exercise oh,
and look for milk in our freezer. Smile, looks like Waggs and I need to pop out
to the shop, as there was none in our garage freezer. In fact, that looks
rather bare and I don’t understand it, we spend a fortune on groceries,
probably about £75 more per month than we did a year ago, our cupboards fridge
freezer looks full for three days then by day five empty. And at the start of
the week, the cupboards and so on are bursting. Hub told me to shop twice a
week, I have so tried that but we do most of our shopping on line and that
means paying for double delivery not only that, you buy salads, veg and fruit,
then you need main ingredients to go with it, and by the time you have done
that, your shopping is about three quarters what it would be for a full shop. So
you leave it at that, then do another basket for drinks, like soft drinks tea
coffee milk and cleaning products as well as toiletries and it comes under the
magic £40 so you pay extra for delivery. Get me?
No?
Well, basically, I can’t shop twice a week. If I went in
person, every single day or every other day, that may be possible. I have been
to our big shop a few times and I must say, they are not the most helpful
staff, in fact the opposite, also I hate getting a stranger to help me to shop.
Shopping is personal, right? If I called in for a couple or three items, that
would be OK, also if I were to shop like that, I can’t browse. I would have to
tell the person I need whatever, passing by loads of offers and I would just
get what I want. If I shop on line, I can see for myself what is on offer and I
browse at what’s new and add them. May be that is why my shopping is more
expensive? Smile.
It’s really windy today again. All of our apples have blown
to the wind. I hope the birds feast on them? Oh my, I’m so struggling to add
old contacts from my old phone to my new one? After many attempts, my brother
in law and I, have contact. Still loving my eye phone though. See how my brain
works? Did you get the link?
Apple tree and apple. Apple IPhone. Hahehehehahaheheha
Sorry. Very immature.
I lost a lb and a quarter this week. Yep, a quarter, don’t
forget that. Now if I were to put that on, suddenly I would put on one lb… One
has a tendency to forget the little bits when gaining. I just round it off to the
lower number. Smile. But in total since the 23rd of July, so about
20 days, I have lost 10lbs, I’m delighted with that. So far to go though and to
be honest, I have lost more than this amount before, I just can’t keep it off,
but I can only try. I need to for my health. Also to keep up with my delectable
hubby. Haha.
Few, just received a text from Teen. He is on his way home.
They have asked him to go for a trial. This is great, as he can do the job easily,
so the hard part is over, of course, I can’t get too hopeful for him, as there
are others who will be put forward for the trial. But so far so good. As for my
job application? All I have heard is they have received my application form, so
at least I did that bit correct. I wonder how long it will take to find out if
I have got an interview? I asked Hub if I don’t get it, will I find out? He
said probably. Helpful. My friend has also applied for the position, gosh, I
hope she gets an interview she is lovely and I must say when I found out she was
also going for the job, I held back as didn’t want her to think I was better
than her, as I’m so not, I still think how dare I think I have a right to apply
for such a job? Gosh, I spend all of my days telling people that they can do it
and I have no self-esteem at all. I told you about when I studied counselling
and we had to show on a drawing of a tree, where we were on the tree of life? Hahaha.
Oh I was really naughty and asked if I could drawer a spade when asked why, I
said so I could sit next to the roots. My tutor was so not impressed. She
really disliked me. She was awful though, saying that she knew no one who has
received a job in counselling who was blind. Gosh, that was before I came out
again to face the big bad world as a person without sight. I was in a prison
for so many years and had lost contact with reality. The odd thing is though,
for those I love and care for, I will fight till the end. For me, not at all!
What should be important is how important I am, rather than more importantly
worrying about what others think of me. If they have time on their hands to sit
around and talk about me, then they themselves need a life. Right?
The most important person to you should be yourself. I can’t
even for a second comprehend such a motion. I always put my loved ones before
myself and I don’t think I can change now, not even sure I want to, but you
should think like this, what kind of person do you want to be with? Spend the
rest of your life with? The person who is with you 24/7. That person is you. Or
in my case me. I tell my Hub all of the time I hate being me. He always says he
wishes he could get into my head. I have told him that he really wouldn’t want
to go there…. I mean, he can’t bare to read some of my poetry not the dark
stuff, so how will he cope being trapped in a blonde Fifi’s head? Haha.
Well, old Bloggets, not in age but in time reading my blogs,
will remember the hell on earth I went through with Teens ex… She sadly was not
put on this earth to be liked. Teen has spent the past year and a bit seeing
girls as far as here to there. Telling each of them that he is not going to
commit. Each girl I’m sure thinking, yeah but after a few dates with me, I have
the powers to change your oppinion.
That didn’t happen and hub and I were starting to wonder
when our stud of a Son would calm down? Not that I was in any hurry as he is
only 19 and he has his whole life to be committed to one person. So when Teen
started to talk about one particular girl a couple of months ago, my heart
stopped.
“Oh no. please. I’m not sure I can cope with another one?”
Well, then my head began to speak to my heart, woke it back
up bringing it back to life as I told myself that no matter if the new girl was
the worst person in the world, she couldn’t come fractionally close to his ex.
Then my Son went on a lad’s holiday, I thought that would
end the new relationship. He was the first back at nights coming to the hotel on
his own, causing his Mum ever such slight anxiety. And when he came home, in
his suitcase, was a beautiful gift. Oh I was so touched. My baby bought his Mum
a lovely souvenir?
Em. No. not quite. Smile. It was for the new girl.
Well the big day arrived we were to meet with her. And tomorrow,
we are going to lunch with her.
So, next blog?
And the below quotation will give you a clue.
The beautiful journey
of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.
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