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Saturday, 3 October 2015

TALKING DOG


Well that’s my back windows cleaned outside anyway, I do not dare do the inside on a weekly bases. I have just cleaned all of the windowsills lifting up every ornament and placing them back down.

 

I would rather do that on days when my Hub is at work though, but it is a monotonous job. So why would I want to do it when he is at work? I will blooming tell you. I hear just as I’m about to pick something up that has been in my family for fifty years.

“Hu’uu’uu’u Hee’ee’ee oh’ooh

As my love takes deep breaths. I go mad as the shock of him actually showing me he is anxious, means I get a fright and almost drop the ornament.

 

Why do I do it when he is home? Because I can still chat with him and it passes time. As long as I can concentrate on the item, I can still talk.

Not much prevents me from speaking. Hahaha.

 

My conservatory is fifteen feet long and about nine feet is windowsill for my lovely collectables. Yep, I’m a horder.

 So I continued dusting the rest of the house then washed out my fridge and oven. Lovely jobs. I have been to the freezer to see what’s for dinner…. Well something has come out from there wrapped in tinfoil. What is it? I really don’t know. It’s either meat or fish… What kind of meat or fish? I’m not at all sure. Well, basically I don’t know. So Hub asked a rather obvious question. How will I know how to cook it?

Answer? In a pot with a lid in the oven until I know what it smells like and then I will decide. Hahahahaha. Anyone for dinner?

 

A car crashed into Hub going to work yesterday he was in his taxi doing the last mile and bang.

 

Thank goodness he the driver and the other driver were alright. The other car, a 4 by 4, was in a state. Hubs taxi was alright. A bit of paint on it. Someone told me years ago never to get a 4 by 4. Don’t worry, not for me to drive, but my ex. People say they are known to be bad in a crash.

4 by 4’s that is, not my ex.

 

Ever since yesterday, Hub has had a bad neck. And today his migraine is awful. But he said the neck thing didn’t warrant a hospital visit. Also the driver is a lovely man no way we want to cause him anymore stress as he was worried about Hub. I’m sure he will be fine, as for his head ache? Well, he gets bad migraines all of the time. I was saying to him today, when you can see you are told to go into a dark room. When you can’t see?

 

My Hub has never been able to see. He was born blind. They the doctors don’t have a clue why. We would see flashing lights in a migraine, he doesn’t. But who is to say some part of him isn’t seeing that or isn’t recognising that he isn’t in a dark room. OK I’m mumbling….

 

My little Wagga and I have been for milk today. No, not down on the farm paying a visit to Daisy, but our local shop. On the way, she hesitated and stopped to look at something. I’m not sure what it was, but I know we had to stop still for just ten seconds. She then went to the left and down on the kerb. Then back up again. Normally I would sense something like a parked car or wheel bin, but I didn’t. I wish Waggs could talk. Smile. Can you imagine the conversation each day?

Morning I come downstairs

Waggs. Mummy, morning. Where is my breakfast?”

Baby gal, you don’t get fed in the mornings.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t start? Now, I need to go to that awful toilet you call a run. Then I will see what the birds have left for me to pinch. Greedy things that they are. Then I may come in the house, but only if you look like you have a biscuit for me!”

Me, no, you will spend then I will spend. We go to the shop today.”

“Waggs. Yes, we will. I will do my work. I will make sure that you don’t bump into anything or anyone. Though I do find it a little funny when you do ever so slightly clip a lamp post and apologise.

Okay, I’m a bit of a sicko of a guide dog. Hehehehehe. But it is funny Mummy when you wait for an answer. I’m like

Oh cringe Mother. Really?

 

When we get there, I sniff your pocket and its odd, but when you wear clothes without a pocket, I don’t sniff. How do I know? Hmm. I guess it’s because I’m a genius.

 

Well, what other animal could do what we fantastic guide dogs do? We even pooh to order for goodness sake.

 

On our way around the shop, I do my level best to help the shop keeper out and clean the floor for them. Really, why bother with a person when they can have a Waggvac? you need a bag for me, but there so much less money than vacuum cleaner bags.

 

I bring you to the till and allow everyone to tell their little fellows not to stroke me, I mean, why? I don’t mind at all if they play with me in the shop? Imagine running all over that place? Oh such fun Mummy. In fact, next time we go there, I insist.

 

The grownups say how cute I am. Hmm. As if I don’t already know?”

Me. “Waggs, your head is so big and you are so boastful, you are not attractive when you are like that.”

Well, Mummy you see it’s like this, to be as brilliant as I am, I have to think positive. No good saying I’m an ugly minggar when let’s face it, I know I’m not?” Anyway after our shopping, we will go to the pet shop. It’s great in there I eat till I drop. Then you ask me to find the door. Hahahehehehhahahah

I take you the long way. Just so I can see if I have missed anything. See Mummy, I’m thorough

 

Then we will go to the park. You will let me off. I will play run, for my life and pant like a train. I will keep coming back to you Mummy to see if you are alright. But you won’t catch me unless you have a treat in your hand…. Even then, its touch and go!

You touch

I go

Bhawoofwoofhahaha

 

Well, at the end of the day. I bring you to your door.

You are so relieved when I do that, and you learn your key fits, I get another biscuit. As for when it’s grooming time Mummy, really, can’t you get organised so that I have a king-size mattress to lie on my back and get my tummy tickled. No. Sorry. Em. Brushed. This standing lark, it’s not good enough.

 

At the end of the day after my dinner and a sleep. My Daddy plays rough with me. I love that, non of that softy Mumsy  stuff I do with you. Then its bed time. I love it when you tuck me in and tell me how absolutely brilliant I have been that day.”

Me

“No darling Waggatail. I tell you goodnight and I love you. Kiss your head and make sure you are comfortable”

 

“Well, alright Mummy. Joking a side. I do what I do for you because I want to.

Because you feed me good food. Give me lovely treats take me for walks. Give me a reason for living. Stopping me from being bored out of my brain. You make me feel so important because I have something you don’t have and that is sight. I am your eyes Mummy and I will serve you as long as I can. Why? Because Mummy, I love you and I have come too far to let you down.

Am I cute for saying that Mummy? Did I say the right things?”

Me.

Chuckle. You little tinker.”

“Ok Mummy, this is when you tell me I’m so sweet and talking of sweet? Yes please!”

 

I love my guide dog. She is to others a beautiful little black lab. With amber eyes a tiny face her coat is shiny and she is so clever.

 

To me. She is a reason to wake up in the morning. She is someone to talk to on days when I am on my own. She is something I have to smile about. She is my means of getting out being human. To be able to feel I have done something in that day to help our household out. I can get that loaf because of her. I can collect my Husband tablets if he needs them. If I’m ill. I can get to the Doctors. Without my Guide dog, I couldn’t do that. The dentist is a place I hate, but it has to be at least once per year.  How would I get there without my girl? I would be like I use to be. Never leave the house. It’s not good for the mind, body or soul.

 
Guide dogs are our life. We live for our dogs. Thank you to all involved

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