Good day Bloggets. How are we all today? Well, Teen is out
and Hub working. So it’s little Waggs Canary and myself. And the droning sounds
from my dryer.
I made a stew for dinner. Only thing is, it looks a little thin.
May have to do some magic with the corn flower.
Got to go out with Waggs later and not looking forward to
it. It’s so cold and dull out there. Just went to the garage and really its not
nice. Mind you, if my Hub was to see me he would tell me that I was dressed for
summer….. Slight exaggeration, but not far wrong.
Talking with a friend, we really can say that we just can’t
understand Teens of today. I can’t get into the mind set of Teenagers. Whilst I’m
proud of my Son and all that he has achieved, his mind is complex. Okay, mine
is too, but Teens? Really one needs an ology in the Psyche of a teenager.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, Teens are
from a galaxy we have not even given a name for yet.
I have come to the conclusion that a teenager thrives on
outwardly being a rebel. If a teenager can get a reaction, they get their
kicks. They find an avenue to walk down to discover what is there and a stage
to act out their emotions and if there is fire between parent and child, in
that Childs mind, they will be a hero to themselves and put out or down the
fire.
A teenager cannot keep boiling water bubbling inside of
them. The steam has to get out somewhere.
So a common scene a teenager may say to you. “Well you did
it, so why can’t I?” I guess your answer could be. “I didn’t have anyone to
tell me what it would be like, so I had to learn the hard way, by my own
mistakes. I don’t want you to make unnecessary mistakes.”
Teens are on the cusp of adulthood. They are and always will
be our children. It’s difficult to let go. Also, it’s such a grown up world
these days. My Son has been working since he was fifteen. Sleeping overnight
with his ex, drinking beer, granted permission by her wicket Mother. What could
I do other than kick him out? Do that and they will go gladly? As they have
money because they work if they don’t have money, it’s easy to make it
illegally. So by telling your child if they do this or that, they will have to
find another place to live, you are handing them a passport to leave the safety
of your home.
The past three years have been so very difficult. I can say
now thank goodness, life is calming down. My Son came home from work yesterday evening
rather late, gosh; I was so impressed with him. He is talking so differently he
is as if in his thirties. The responsibility he has been given at work is phenomenal.
The pride I feel is somewhat incredulous. Is this my little
boy? How did he get to this place? He was my little cute kid with tiny hand in
mine slightly afraid of walking down the stairs at home in fear on Christmas
day St Nicholas was still there. He was the little boy who cried out for me
when having nightmares. He was the child full of so much love. Then he was
abducted by aliens and possessed by a poisonous person who got pleasure from
feeding a potion into the mind of my Son.
We got through that battle and now I can say I think the war
is coming to an ending, though I won’t say its over until my Son reaches his
next stage in life. I think we are fifty per cent through the battle. Let’s
hope just the tidying up to do now to rebuild the warzone place and carry on
the journey of parenting a teenager.
My Son has shown signs of a true friend of late to someone
who needed him. His maturity has come from this troubled tortured soul who can
now heal and be fixed.
I’m so far keeping it all together as there was a point that
I honestly thought I just couldn’t cope and this killed me as my boy and I have
always had a bond that was like glue. We stuck together through thick and thin.
Just me and him. But we both branched out and now we know that we are there for
one another forever.
I have been that nurse, that psychologist and teacher. That
loving Mother and mad woman who can’t take much more.
Chasing after rainbows and trying to catch my shadows.
Climbing that mountain, and never thinking I could get to the top. I’m not
there yet, but I can see the peak and there is a chair up there waiting for me
with a golden cushion on it and once I do get there, wow, the view will be so
good. But as I said, a long way to go, but those trees on the way were knocked
down, I have to plant them again and watch them grow.
Let’s hope they grow to be healthy and bare fruits plentiful
and buds with perfume that will fill the air with nature’s finest floral
offerings.
I feel for any parent with a teenager. Now some are lucky,
some parents don’t have any bother, I personally have never met one. But I have
had messages letters and emails from parents who say their kids are fine. Well,
one, how old is your child? As I swear, if they are over twenty one, then you
got there just in time, this eerier is exclusive to kids between thirteen and
twenty one. I don’t know why or how, was there some kind of teaching course
went on perhaps? A new way of teaching our kids? Is there a new chemical in
foods that affect kids of that age now?
Some will say all teens throughout history have been like
this. No…. I can tell you. This is different. This is a time where teens won’t
be told, they won’t be reasoned with they are in charge. The parent is
helpless.
So for those who say their kids are great without complications,
well, I am sorry, I have to ask, really? Are they? Do you really know what your children are up
to? Are they really studying in the library? Do their clothes smell of smoke
because it’s their friend, who is smoking in front of your child? Is that sweet
smell really from a can of fizzy pop that got spilled? Did they really sleep
over at their pal’s house? Really? And that outfit you bought your child to
wear, did they keep that on or did they go around the corner or at a friend’s
house and change? Hmm. Really?
On reflection, my child doesn’t smoke or do drugs that I
know of. I always make sure I do the sniff test…. Last time he went drinking
was about three weeks ago. And he got hammered drunk. But at least not every
week. But boy, the past three years has been hell. And I know he would say for
himself too. I also know when he is older; he will look back and reflect on his
behaviour. But it’s getting there.
So for those who are struggling, I don’t have an answer. I
really don’t. For parents whose hearts are breaking please, hang in there, hold
your heart in your hands and protect it as one day that heart I hope, will beat
as one again with your child’s. No matter how old our kids are, they will
forever be our children. I am sure I
have an ulcer in my stomach with all of the hellish times and worries I have
had and to a degree, still me are having.
But the good is by far out weighing the bad now.
As I said earlier, for now! Know you are not alone. I’m sure
you will feel as if you are time to time. Equally as I’m sure you feel you are
in a worse place than anyone else. You love your child more than any other
parent can possibly love their child. No love is as deep as yours.
Yep. Me too. Let’s climb this mountain together and I hope
it will be like childbirth…. A pain like no other but one you seem to forget as
you have more children. Perhaps that mountain one day will seem like a rugged
hill.
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