TUESDAYS DIARY THE HILL

 Good afternoon my dear Bloggets. I have just had a really lovely lady from Guide Dogs visit me. Oh what a heart of gold she has. She is our new GDI. So I’m delighted about that. She is warm and so kind. We took my little Waggatail on a walk. As Waggs isn’t feeling too good. Well, until she went for a walk. Oh but first I had to work her. Waggs that is, not my GDI. Smile.

 

Waggs ran the field and I hope it will make her feel happier. She has aged my Son said since the loss of LC.

 

 GDI just left and Waggs crying back in bed. But at least I know she is a little tired and I’m seeing my friend next week so hopefully Waggs will get out again. My Son has been taking her out, but I know she doesn’t get free runs with him, he goes to his friends and the girlfriend of the boy loves Waggs so she gets out and new attention, but to run free? I love to see that.

 

I do have some great news though my Husband is hoping to name a pup. This is when you raise £2500 for Guide Dogs and donations go to naming your puppy. Of course the little angel will be called Suki. Our girls name will live on. It’s something Hub wants to do and anything to get him over this hill is a bonus. Now. What to do to raise the money? Hmm.

 

He can sing my Hub. So I think he is going to do that and his friend from school, is amazing on the keyboard. So that will get some money, as for the rest? Oh my. I’m not sure how? I don’t have any talent I can offer. I love to sing but wouldn’t dare in public. When a child yes, as I could sing well, that was then, now? No. Someone would think their car alarm had gone off.

 

So, any ideas how to raise that amount of money? Heck. Pressure. I could write poems I guess and donate money that way. Or have coffee mornings? But does that involve baking cake? Oh heck. Do chocolate crispies count?

 

It’s sunny today and even warm. So different to yesterday when we had to have our heating on and it was pouring with rain.

 

Teen at work bless him. He is putting in the hours. He so badly wants a new car. Well new as in newer. I wish I could win the lotto.

 

So, for the past few days you have all been there for me. Thank you so much. I just spoke to Hub he’s at work for the first time. He sounds shattered. But I asked him out of ten, how he is feeling, ten being the happiest. He is on four. That is fantastic. He was a big fat zero before. So he is over the worst. Of course there will be times when we are still in so much pain. When we stop and think about our Suki /LC when he comes home tonight without her. That will be so difficult. It was the way she was torn from us. Too early too much to take in as she was working so well just days before she died. So we are in shock. But today would be the most difficult. I’m so grateful to you all who have put up with my tears and some would say negativity over the past four days. But I would say grief pure grief. And you know I say it like it is on here.  For those who don’t have ways to write their feelings down, to read what I write lets them know they are not alone. How people have took time out though to write words of support understanding and kindness. How people have even offered to help. You know what it’s like though, we don’t like to ask for help, but at least because of the kindness and offering we know in emergency there is help out there. That was the panic when we lost LC, how we would manage. And still there will be days when we need to get out, or want to get out and we won’t ask unless it’s urgent. And that will be tough. Those days are ahead and we will need so badly our LC. But right now, I really hope that there is another world. And a much better world than here but where we and all of you who are so kind will end up.  

 

So at least once a month, we will be able to get out. Until Hub gets another Guide dog. But there is a list; he could be waiting up to two years. Please God no? For the past three days now I have been seeing a dog in what I call my premonitions. I told Hub and he then said that it won’t be his, as he isn’t going on the list. He can’t bear the thought of holding the harness of a dog that isn’t our Suki’s. I told him he had no choice. He had to have a dog. My Hub isn’t me. He is independent. Staying in the house will kill him. Well, he is looking ahead more now, and I pray he will find the strength to get another little pal. The dog I am seeing is a boy and fluffy with pointy ears he is a German Shepard. Black and tan. Smallish. Let’s see. I think as long as it works well, he will have any kind, girl or boy

 

Oh my word. Our very kind neighbour is cutting our grass at the front. Gosh I feel so bad it only takes him two minutes, but why does he do it? He is so kind, we are lucky. Just need the back sorted and we will be fine, well, my man who did the drive and fencing, said he would come this week. I asked when? Perfectly good question, right? He said sometime this week. Well, firstly, I need notice to get some money somehow, my local shop I can only get £50 out at a time, so I will have to go twice probably. So if he thinks he can just turn up and expect to be paid? My Sister in law said she would come to do it, but I hope by the time she gets here, it’s been done. As she is fifteen years older than me so I feel so bad that she is doing it, and if he comes, she and I can have a sister day clothes shopping. I haven’t bought clothes from a shop for so long. I have ordered them on line so never know what the heck they are till they come, apart from knowing the colour, well, sometimes, they write on description multi, multi what?

 Black white and grey, red blue and yellow? Know what I mean? I really hate clothes shopping online as we can’t feel the material. I order never send back. As it’s too visual to do that and our post office is miles away.

 

OK I’m trying not to write too much, as my brain still isn’t what it was. I don’t know how Hub is doing his job today? I know he was meant to be doing budgets. Hopefully for his sake it’s been postponed as he is in no state to have this huge responsibility. Tomorrow I’m sure he will be thinking more clearly. I hope I will? I have some interviews to do this week. I’m behind in my work

 

Oh heck. Teen just came in from work. He’s on a food break. Oh my. He’s not in the best of moods. Woo’oo’oosh

He’s gone now. Kitchen cupboards less bulging.

 

Laters with love. X