Good day Bloggets. A quick blog today as still have a lot of
work to do and that is before housework. As you may have read in my earlier
published poems, today is a year since my dear darling Guide dog had to be put to
sleep. A year ago a week ago from today, we thought all was fine. So fast she
failed with the effort of living and sadly we didn’t know she was failing until
it was her last hours. We couldn’t see her white gums and the discolouration in
her fur as the vet put it. We couldn’t see when she went to the toilet that all
wasn’t well. But we took her to the vet for what we thought was just a bad bout
of her arthritis, sadly the vet we took her too really wasn’t at all concerned
bothered whatever you want to call it, needless to say, we changed vets, but
sadly it was too late for my BB.
Oh how much my heart is hurting today? My lashes are
preventing tears from falling. I don’t want to be an emotional wreck today. But
my heart hurts. So badly. I just want to put my hand out and feel her silk fur.
To hear the little cute sounds she made from a baby. The loss of any pet is
difficult enough but your first guide dog?
Oh the day she had to
retire because of her age was bad enough as we went to the shop the long way
round, and she honestly never worked as well before that day. It was as if she
knew she wasn’t going to work anymore. I was so upset. Was she trying to prove
she could still work? Did she just want to do her best for her Mum one last
time?
The times we had together me and her. She was my guide from
my Son now eighteen was five. She guided me to school and back. Preventing my
Son from being bullied as with my white cane he was dreadfully teased. And
before I used a white cane, he at the age of three and four was told by other children
that they couldn’t play with him because his Mummy was always drunk.
I had to start to use a white cane for lots of reasons, but
little did I know of what would go on in the playground. Moving onto my Hanna
and then suddenly parents wanted to know when I went blind. Really, some people
are so cruel and stupid and I truly hope that they will get what they deserve.
I know that isn’t charitable, but when you are blind it can be an existence a
battle with waking up in the morning, but when you are faced with such people?
And more so when your child is affected, my heart was torn out. Just to get him
to school and back was the biggest challenge especially when it was icy. And
when it was snowing, I couldn’t tell the difference between the path, road and
fields. I never slept as the night before I really dreaded my challenges
getting my Son to school and when I was back home I would worry myself sick how
to get back for him? What if I got lost? Who would be there for him? Who would
look after him? Oh never would I wish those days on anyone.
There was no help at all. Nothing. Because my Son thank God
could see. If he was visually impaired then they may have been help I was told.
I really really hope no one is going through that and if you are young married
and planning for a child. Remember, the night
before, I could see enough to read tiny print.
Then I woke up.
Please RP’s. Prepare yourself for the worst don’t be like
me. Who never believed it would happen. I can’t even imagine how I got my Son
to nursery and back for a year without any aid.
Talking of my Son, I can’t say too much now but for the next
four weeks, he is in for a huge challenge. My Hub thinks he is mad, I think he
is brave. You get nowhere by standing still.
He brought his car from the festival; oh you should have
seen it? I gave him £20 to go and get it cleaned professionally. It’s looking good
now and inside is so much better. He really really enjoyed the festival, so
that is great, but so expensive. From this month he will be paying rent. A
lesson Hub says for his future. My ex had to do it with his mother and quite a
bit too. It was so unfair for him though. Whilst his greedy thieving sister and
younger brother, as for his brother, I liked him, as for his Sister? Payed nothing,
my ex had to pay full amount. That was his family sadly, He was an outsider.
Guess who is at my door? Our window cleaner. Oh my word. I’m
in shock.
Well that was a few hours ago. I am back to finish this
blog. So what have I been doing since I left you? Not with my window cleaner, hehehe,
that’s for sure. But cleaning my glass cabinet. Oh my word. The concentration
of doing that. I think I got to about fifty seven Chrystal glasses and then
lost interest in counting. I sent for two silver cloths to clean my silver wear.
Not that we have much, a few bits from Ebay like two solid silver candlesticks.
A very ornate mirror and some kind of religious dish my Husband got many years
ago as a gift from someone high up in the church. You should see these cleaning
cloths? I don’t know how they dare call them cloths. More like scrappy bits of
left over material. Half the size of glasses cleaners. Now, is my silver clean?
God knows and he isn’t telling me but my fingers keep locking as dealing with
such a tiny bit of material scrubbing away same place over and over.
OK, going to fit in some work before Hub home. So on a very
odd day where I hurt for my BB, = Black Beauty, we had some good news too. Well
hopeful news which filled me with pride. Later gators. X
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