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Thursday, 10 September 2015

A PART OF ME FOR SURE


Good day.  It’s well after three. I have been writing all day.

Teen just left for work. Gosh so much has gone on with him of late. I tell you, being a parent is the most difficult job on earth. I was saying that to someone the other day. Her answer?

“I never had any trouble with my lads.”

Let me tell you about her lads. Both drank alcohol from the age of about eleven and smoked from around that age too. Both went and got tattoos early on too. They never helped out around the house. They slept in bed until three most days and had no ambition for careers. They both got their ladies pregnant before getting married. And didn’t marry them in the end. One has two sons from two different women and he doesn’t see his kids. Hasn’t since they were babies. The other one never sees his son or now grandchild. He also doesn’t work still. Never owned a house or car. Drinks all day and night and smokes weed. Oh yes lady, you never had any bother with your kids.

 

I guess it depends what you call bother? For me bringing my son up to respect people. Not to use awful language. To work respect those he lives with and not to do drugs, smoke or drink too much. To look for work. And most importantly not to get a girl pregnant until he falls in love and until she adores him.

 

Now how much of that have I achieved? Well, so far he hasn’t smoked as far as I know doesn’t do drugs and doesn’t drink that much. He can go more than a week before he will have a couple of drinks with friends. He has done amazing at school and college; though believe me, oh my word. I wouldn’t wish those years on anyone. He has been for many jobs. He’s eighteen and a half and every job he has been for, he has been offered. Even jobs he hasn’t gone for he was offered. A role. Of late, he was interviewed for two jobs. Both really really good and he said no to both. He is staying where he is now, but that is only after a couple of weeks of stress for us all. We are so proud that he has been offered these jobs though. He is charming and very kind to the eye so right now, he gets work easily. He passed his driving test second time with top marks and with his own money he bought a car. But he needs a reality check. He doesn’t think he should take a job unless they are going to offer £50,000

Come on. I blame the awful rappers out there. We all know how they got their money?

 

This is my biggest fear. To keep him away from trouble and if I were that person I was talking to the other day, I would chill. Let whatever happens. But really, I’m on the edge.  Thanks to that snooty little mare, he was dating; he thinks money is the most important thing in the world.

He is to tell the employers today he won’t be taking on the jobs. Two completely different companies. One role was dreadful amount of travel. Too much for A, his age and B, his car. Looks sadly like he won’t be getting help of any kind from his Father. My ex. I guess my ex thinks he has paid for teen for four years almost of his life. As for me? Eighteen and it still is going on. I’m just glad I met hub who can afford to allow us both to live comfortably. If I were still with the ex, teen for sure would have gone down the bad lane of life. Many years before now. I just hope he learns soon that he is better than that. He is a man trapped inside a child’s mind. With adult words and expressions.

 

He has nice friends but they are what I would call normal. They are happy to earn pocket money. Teen wants a house, a millionaire’s car and holidays to go with that. It really drives me crazy. Just be thankful for what you have and if anything comes up in the future, grab it. I wouldn’t care, but he has so much empathy for the homeless. He is far from that, we have a lovely home. An OK lifestyle. More than anything our health as far as we know it is fine and we have more love than anyone I know

 

My heart rate has gone through the roof and I have not slept since two days ago. When he is stressed I ache. When he hurts I cry and when he laughs my soul is warm full of love. He is me. A part of me for sure.

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