HE CRACKED ME UP

 OK, my God. This is crazy and my Darling Husband didn’t help. Now the naughty man is having a bath so out of the way, as he made me have the biggest most embarrassing smile on my face and he knew he would crack me up and did it deliberately!

So our shopping came. We are lucky in the UK as we can order online and have it delivered. Now, I am used to receiving emails and texts telling me that Martin would be coming in the green cabbage van, or the red tomatoes van, this puts a smile on my face for starters, but when they tell me the registration to look out for that kind of makes me laugh, but then when they arrive and find out I can’t read the printed paper telling me what substitutes we have this week, so read it to me and we get a numpty like tonight, oh God, that was just quite simply too much to bare!

 

So the doorbell rings. I go to the door; Hub is sitting on the couch. The door opens into our lounge as all dogs safely away in their beds in the back hall. I open the door to hear a man sound like he has been inhaling helium balloons all night.

Either that or he was wearing very tight trousers.

Or, he was the original Donald Duck!

Take your pick.

So already I was rude and couldn’t help but laugh. And you know Hub picks up on this and he is so bad, I could hear him muttering things in the back ground; he knows how to make me worse?

And he is so dry and serious too this makes me laugh again.

Well, I was just about holding it together when the man began to read out my substitutes.

Oh gosh, he read in this really odd voice.

“So, they have swapped your panceamnolas

“Sorry? My what?

I asked. He repeated, but this time, I let him read on before quizzing him and he finished off the Italian dish by saying capsules….

I thought for a while thinking, I know I didn’t order Italian this week? But then capsules echoed in my head and I realised what he meant.

Oh, I exclaimed. You mean Paracetamols?

As in pain killers?

He said

“Oh yes, silly me. It’s been one of those nights?

I thought, no love, one of those cabbage drivers?

Hehehehehe. Hubs dry muttering from him in the background made it impossible for me to stop laughing and I’m not talking smiling, I was beaming cheek to cheek and actually giggling.

I wouldn’t care, but he jogged on and was telling about something else equally as intelligent, like recycling the plastic bags.

Oh but it got better.

As he turned to me asking if I needed any help with the shopping in my house? I of course said no thank you, he continued telling me.

“I’m good with the disabled you know? They always send me to people like you?”

“Say whaa’aat?

Oh my God, well I would have been OK with that, a little shocked but it was Hubs response. Hehehahahaha. Oh God I am going to kill him?

 

 Well, I just laughed my way through the delivery. And proper belly laughs too. Oh it was so bad.

I closed the door with tears coming down my face and turned to hub to tell him off but couldn’t for laughing and he said to me in his dry voice.

“Did you like that?”

He meant his commentary. I said no. I blooming didn’t. Oh God it was sooo bad.

 

Oh and he looked at my eggs opening the egg box telling me he was checking or should that be chicken? If they were cracked? I guess like me? He said they were OK, and I wouldn’t be having scrambled eggs tonight?

Ha Ha blooming Ha, but at least that gave me a great excuse to let out a hu’u’uge laugh, to release some of the kept in strangled laughter I had done my best to keep in; I swear it was his voice too. I just wasn’t expecting that one.

OK, so it’s all away anyway and those dreaded jars and packets. Hub asked why I order such things, and I know it’s stupid, but dishes would be so boring if not for sauces? Right? Only trouble is, I don’t know what the heck they are. Oh well, there’s always eggs? Haha. Nighty night for now. Sleep well to the song of the night owl and wake with a smile to the lark. Talk in September. X