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Tuesday, 16 January 2018

WE ARE NOT DIFFERENT BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Thank you so much for your emails. One email today touched my heart one made me laugh and the rest gave me strength to carry on writing my blog. Thank you again.

 

A wonderful writer someone I have such high regard for told me today she reads my blogs. When I read her work, she has such an impact on me that is much needed and for her to say she takes time to read my blogs is amazing. Thank you, dearest Nancy.

 

So, today, it’s lunch time and the sun is shining but it’s really cold outside. My Husband has been working at home this morning but left to travel an hour away just before lunch time. I always get anxious of him travelling he’s so brave. He’s meeting his boss today for his review. His review takes over two hours… heck, how? Haha. I’m not from that world so I guess I’m not even going to try to find out.

 

You know when you think you are a day further into the week so the weekend is closer and then you learn you are actually one day out and the weekend is in fact further away? Yep, that was me before.

 

Do days really go faster when you get older? I think years do. But the days seem so long still. I remember when I was at boarding school I so badly wanted home time to come around. I hated school. It was cold and scary. The beds were itchy and thin carpets were on top of bear boards. Then there were the exposed floorboards that creaked as someone passed our dormitory during the nights. Oh, even then I couldn’t sleep. We had, at least rumours told us, ghosts, I think the first school, she was called the grey lady and the pink lady at my next school. The pink lady was in the wash room that was so far away from any voices and far too far for my liking to have any screams heard.

 

It was up to me and my best friend from school Mandy to do the weekend washing. For us girls and the boys. We even had to match all the boys socks up the ones who had their names sewn into them. Then, lay the matching socks in a neat pile, on their beds. We did the cooking for them too at weekends. At tea time anyway, they came to our part of the so-called house and ate their food after a day out somewhere whilst we washed dried and even ironed. I have written before about how the boys had a football area and a field then indoors they had a games room and we had a girl’s lawn, where the washing line was, haha, and a cracked old carpark with a chalked hopscotched section. Oh, and some wooden benches to sit on. Inside we had a TV room where the housemother sat. and wait for it, smoked… Gosh, that so wouldn’t be allowed now days, would it? I mean, smoking in England is not allowed even around adults in public places let alone where there are children. As for girls doing the washing and cooking? Hmm… It would be boys now and girls would be doing a course on engineering. Smile…

 

My Husbands school he was invited to the heads office many times for a drink of whisky before his school day… hahahah. It’s not really funny but more like shocking… Funny thing Hub loves whisky still.

 

Our first school where Hub and myself met, had nothing outside apart from an old treehouse that was so old one day someone fell through the roof of it. Still though a hammer and nails it was good to go… We also had a stone pipe. God knows what once flew through it, but it ended up in our play area for us to crawl through it. I don’t remember many of us doing that oddly enough. Then Hubs Dad who was on the board told our head that it was shocking that we had nothing to play on inside or out, so a rocking horse was provided that used to be my Husbands and outside Hubs Dad and his pals made a pyramid from logs. I have written before that was where Hub and I as children used to kneel down thinking we couldn’t be seen, have a quick innocent kiss and run back to play with our pals in the school grounds. There was a seesaw made that was a long log with handles on the end. Gosh, it was so dangerous. Especially when one of the kids used to jump off from a high and whoever was on the other end would come slamming to the ground. There was also a hammock and all these things were build on concrete. To get to them, you went down a hill that had nettles growing knee high.  Our first school was an old Victorian house full of steep steps and an enormous what I guess we would all call an orangery, now days, again steps without a rail to hold onto something that just wouldn’t happen now days. But, friends of mine including Hub are really confident with steps and so on and I reckon it’s because of school. Hubs second school was the same where as mine was a bit more modern. Not in furniture and soft furnishings but buildings. Having said that the girl’s lawn didn’t have a rail and there were about five or six steps to get onto it. But the rest of the school was quite safe. Just the house staff we had to watch out for. And I am amazed that some of them haven’t had their names in headlines as they head to court.

 

 I really hope that the few boarding schools that remain for VIP’s, have now changed to when I had to go many years ago. I know that private ones will be fine, they have to be, but in those days schools for children who were either blind or like what I was, partially sighted, they weren’t good. Now days most children with visual impairments go to schools for every child. And they make allowances or changes for the kids who need it. Then I do wonder how much freedom do those kids have? We sadly live in a culture of suing society now. I have heard of children who at break times have to stay in doors or stand next to a classroom assistant.  That isn’t inclusion for sure more like exclusion!

 

I know that Guide Dogs and the RNIB do a lot of work to make sure our kids are included in every day school and I for one am glad that there are fewer schools now for children with either no vision or poor vision. It’s bad enough not being able to see properly or at all, but to also not have your parents at the end of a school day is cruel. It certainly leaves some people with terrible effects throughout their lives.

 

I wish I could write blogs that showed people that those of us without sight or who have poor vision who’s eyes just don’t work, our brains do. I also wish I could show people that we are just like them. Seriously, these courses that people go on to show volunteers just how to so call walk with us, oh, I cringe.  I would love to run those courses because I wonder if three things, one some of the people who go on these courses actually run as soon as they are over, as they have put too much responsibility on their shoulders and two, those who do the courses how much information do they take in? in my opinion/view, those I know who have gone on the courses, are the worst people to walk with. My friends who haven’t been on the courses, who sometimes forget to tell me if there is a step, this is if I’m not with my dog or cane, are so better to be with, why? Firstly, because they are natural. We feel normal when with them. I don’t want to be different to them and I don’t want my friends to think I’m different to them. My friends often say they keep forgetting I’m blind. Good, job done. And when I know my friends are relaxed, I am. If I think they are tense because they are trying to remember everything they were taught, then I can’t take in the day and time with my friends.

 

The basics are great to know. For example, let us know which way the car is facing, always a good thing… put our hand on the back of a seat, so we know which way to pull it out from the table letting us know without showing us the table where it is, and which way the seat is facing. And, just say if it’s a skinny gap to get through and if steps ar up or down and if there are more than one… if a parent walks with their child or partner hand in hand, they know how to get through gaps or crowds so we are the same as you. Just walking with you.

 

The third reason I would like to run one of these much-needed volunteer courses is because I want to let you know if it’s just our eyes that don’t work, really the rest of us does.

 

 I have a couple of friends whenever they take us anywhere they always want to park just outside a door of where we are going. Why? We can walk, as long as they are happy to let us hold onto their arm as they are not too fussed about us having our dogs with us… otherwise we wouldn’t need their arm. If we are going to a busy town then I understand we need to be outside a door it would help so much but not so much for a quiet place I love the walk from the car to the door, I mean, it’s normally about a two-minute walk… the funny thing is, we are fifteen years younger than them.  Perhaps they are stressed or worried about the responsibility of walking blind people… well, you are not walking us, we are walking for ourselves and if we trip unless you have not told us about a step, it’s our fault and if we do fall we are not going to take you to court. You may fall, I mean, you are getting on a bit, haha, imagine if I was to say that to them? “You best park close to the door because I don’t want you to fall or for your Arthritis to inflame. Or, for your heart to be overworked.”” We wouldn’t say that. I do wonder why we have to be thought of as different. I mean one day, you could have poor vision or no vision at all. Most people these days are not born with poor eyesight, they develop it later on in life, and I know you wouldn’t want to be treat differently!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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