DIARY OF THE VIEW FROM THE LAKE

 I’m back. Avoided the office but can’t for much longer. I’m so pleased that we went for a walk. Just before the torrential rain came down. I’m in my conservatory and really it’s wild out there. It’s quite hot, but the rain is blowing in the windows and door that I have open. My sofa is in the middle of the room and I can feel the rain coming at me.  Love it. I love the sound of the rain and the smell it brings. The gardens are greedily grasping the free water.  The birds are enjoying what it brings too. The fragrance of summer hot wooden fences and tree trunks are wafting through the air. The sweet fragrance of flora flows by all very nice, but here comes the thunder. I don’t like that. After some poor people died in Wales last week, I’m more aware of how dangerous lightning can be. I won’t know if it’s flashing or not, but normally it follows the thunder.

 

My Son and I have just taken lunch together. He described the birds in our yard. The Magpies were so cute. Until one of them flew off with a bit of Waggatail doodles. Perhaps he is going deaf and when Mrs. Magpie asked him to go shopping for noodles? Oh well, keep that up Mr. Magpie, and it will be less for me to do tonight. Not good after the heavy rain.

 

What a lovely subject to link with lunch… I’m always grateful that my Son can see out from the window, it could have been so different. There is still a 50% chance that he will inherit my eye disease, but for the meanwhile, he can see well.

 

As for my Sons children? Who knows the chances are quite high that his children may be born with Retinitis pigmentosa. Oh I hope not. But if he marries, IT.

 I sadly won’t be here to help out with anything, if he marries a normal person, Hub and I will be able to support their needs. The same for our girls, as my Husbands ex has a hereditary eye condition too.

 

The chances of him marrying IT, are quite high as she knows she won’t be able to get another boyfriend who will put up with her and her family. Having said that, will my Son ever earn enough to keep the greedy cow happy on the farm?

 

A lady I know has just been to visit her newly born Grandchild. She was upset that she couldn’t see the little girls face. I felt for her. It’s awful. And people can say the right things like “You can touch her tiny little face you can feel her in your heart smell her and hear her!” Yes, as can sighted people. But they also have the benefit of seeing their Grandchildren. This is a cruel thing about blindness. We are stripped from the everyday things. A smile from your little one, that glance in their eye just before they are about to do something that they know is wrong, that cheeky little face that represents you in some way, to see that child grow up to see who they will look like in your family. Yes you can be told who they look like, but to see a mirror image is to believe.

 

To see your child graduate. The pride in their eyes and yours as they meet across the room. To see your child marry. All of that gets removed. I will forever say that blindness is the cruellest disability and I have from my perspective and others, thought long and hard about it.

 

Not saying that other disabilities are any better, just different that will change lives.

 

To not be able to hear is awful. Really awful. I mean today I sat in our park next to the lake. I listened to the sounds of the gentle water rippling along with wildlife forcing it to create that sound of movement. I heard the birds singing their varied songs. So not to hear that would be awful. But, to see the swans and geese on the lake. The white statuettes forming dark shadows on the silver lake. To not be able to see who is passing and with what kind of dog or if they are smiling at you. Not to be able to see the beautiful different tiny coloured birds in the mass of differently shaded greens of the foliage in the leafy trees. Not to see the turquoise sky with formations of clouds chasing rainbows.

 

Yes I can write these words, but most of what I have written about, I have never ever seen so they are word to me, not images or memories in my photographic mind.

 

 People going by talking to their dogs made me smile. One lady went by and said to what sounded like an enormous dog.

“Ernest. Slow down. You have been walking for an hour.” I mean, Ernest? Why? And did she really think her dog would understand the timescale of an hour? Hahaha.

 

A deaf person can drive. When they get to their destination, they are free to do whatever. Shop, a sport a picnic, anything that a sighted person would do. The cinema and theatre are not a happy time, and for them I feel so sad. We can hear what is going on, but most of the time, don’t have a clue.

 

As for being in a wheelchair? Again you can see, read letters, see colours of life and drive. A lot of places are still not accessible. But hopefully in the UK anyway we are making that law that most places are wheelchair friendly. And to dance, to just walk, for those who can’t my heart breaks. I would love to walk in a forest. Sadly I can’t. And my legs are fine. My eyes just won’t find where I need to be. Unless it is outside of my back door. And there are no forests here. One day I hope to live in a house that I can feel the earth beneath my feet and smell the motherland we had before spoiling it with modern day life.

 

There are many disabilities out there we don’t see. They are not visible. And some are painful well; we do get sore eyes, but nothing in comparison with what others suffer from. So I know all disabilities are not the same and all are bad in their own way, we have no choice but to make the best of what we have.

 

I still say, blindness is to some, a living nightmare. So I had no words for my poor friend. And for this I felt bad. I only hope that cure is on its way and she will see her baby soon. But I doubt we will get a cure, before treatment, and if we get treatment before a cure, well, I don’t think the cure will happen, take place. Why? Because why make something perfect if that something isn’t broken and manageable . So before treatment, I hope our scientists find a cure. Though not to be too greedy, for now I will say yes to treatment. I was told by a friend who is an eye Doctor, that the way modern medicine is progressing, we have a future for sure.

 

Not long before we see the girls. Less than ten days. Gosh, how time goes by. My Son was saying before that it doesn’t seem a week since he saw his Father. He is seeing him again on Friday.

 

My Son is talking about joining the navy. If that is what he wants so be it. He is at work in half an hour. Then off to the gym. Then who knows?

 

OK off to work I go. Hey ho, hey ho!