So the room we were in was enormous so very cosy. I was sat
next to the Christmas tree. On my far left was the log burner and happy voices
filled the air. I totally can’t tell you exactly how I felt, so proud to be
with the love of my life and to show him my family. We have our, family, my
Father in law, lovely brother in laws and their partners and our three
children, so they are our family, Hubs family, but they don’t belong to just
me, apart from Teen. He’s mine, but the people at the lodge were my family and
they gave me a feeling of completion.
A car pulled up
outside and my Brother and Sister in law came in the house. Children ran to
them pleased to see them. The house was starting to have savoury fragrances of
cooking. In walked the two of them. My Sister in law was so lovely. Oh gosh,
really, these words don’t do the feelings I had justice. To me the moment was
incredulous! As though a dream. A Christmas movie. Out in the cold for so long
and now complete. To be perfect would have our three children there too, but
there is time, I know there is time now.
To hear my family’s voices, my dark vision was bubbling with
pride. My Nieces were so brilliant, the children were fantastic and made me
realise how many years I had missed, but to be honest, those years were lost
years, years when I had to fix myself.
We sat at the table; I was really really in a trance. How could
this be?
These were the people I always used to pray to have. Nights
when I was so hurt, so much in pain and needed desperately to receive help. Bruised
and with a sore face with rusty like tears, I spent many sad lonely times just
wishing for peace. I feel I now have it. Counselling depression tablets and
heart ache are all in the past, I have one issue to deal with then I can begin
my life. If only they knew how much this time meant to me? Oh I am so happy.
We got dressed up for the evening, went for a meal and
watched a show. Hub got very drunk, I wasn’t sure about that, but it was
brilliant to see him dancing, he loved it, I loved seeing him so happy. And
that man can move? Haha, he says he hates dancing, but why? I know it’s because
when you have never seen, you don’t really know how to dance, but boy he did…
At the end of the evening, mini bus took us to the lodge and
in we walked to the crackling of the logs on the fire. My little Niece made me
a cup of tea and we all sat in front of the tree talking, it was great. My
older Niece stayed dancing as she never goes out, she and her bf came back and
we went to bed after listening to Christmas songs and my little Niece’s
wonderful Husband put on Cathedral music which delighted Hub as he was right at
home then. His kind of music. Carrols and family, sweet mince pies and
laughter. Comfort and dreams that really can come true!
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