My dreams for this year? Gosh, that would be telling… I have four. Last year I had the same amount and I think they were almost the same ones. May be I have swapped one of them.
One of them is up to me really, and me not suffering from slap in the face syndrum! I’m not good at stepping out of my comfort zone, don’t get me wrong, each time I walk out of my front door with my sweet guide dog Waggatail, I’m out there, in the zone, and it aint my comfort one either!
Here I am, it’s lunch time it’s really cold outside, today Waggs and I went to meet a friend and we walked to our big shop had a look round, the shops were crouded full of people hoping for bargin but there were non to get. I got what I wanted, had a coffee with my friend then we walked back, she left me half way and Waggs and I continued the rest of the just over ten minute walk. Though it seamed to be more like 25 minutes. Gosh I don’t think I will ever get used to being blind. I was like a scared kitten. The traffic was awful. I couldn’t hear Waggs footsteps or what was right next to me. I couldn’t hear the walls or buildings and you really need to be able to do that to get your barings when you can’t see, otherwise you are walking into hell, that is what it’s like for me.
Oh I would love to live in a nice quaint village where the cars are few, where I can smell the fruit from the tiny shop on the corner, you know the kind where you go in and ask for what you want? Not the gigantic kind we have here that are like airports with echoed voices and dreadful music playing clashing of trolley’s and nasty baskets in the middle of isles… A bakers would be found by the smell and Norah’s coffee shop can be detected by the china sounds and fragrences of coffee. A friendly face and voice is heard by Tom and Sally who own the local convenience shop… Then passing by the church with it’s quaint bells you know then it’s time to turn left and as you smell the beautiful roses, turn right and so on. You can hear your footsteps bouncing off the wall near by and the birds are in the trees so you know where that is too, the sound of fast footsteps going to the post box then making a sudden stop as they post their letter that is how you would know where you are, because you have just passed the post box, in the distance you can hear the people chatting at the bus stop, so yes, go down that road and when the path starts to go down, you cross over that road and walk down your avenue to your house. That would be a nice life. Not noise grit and the typical town life here. Having said that, since we moved here I love the people they are unbeatable also there is no trash laying around, it’s a clean area and I do feel safe. I have been out at nights on my own, well with my guide dog whether it be my last little beauty or my now cutie and I have felt safe, I think one night when we first moved here, I went down a path where the next day I realised just how that may not have been a good idea in heinsight. Because there were no houses and it was a very long path where there were no cars near by just the school playing field, but to get to where I needed to be, I only knew that route.
Today I have been really frustrated. Firstly yesterday I asked my Son to do three things for me. I have had gift vouchers since Christmas for a clothes shop, I needed the card numbers to add to the order so it would take money off. My software won’t read gift card codes. Then I needed a letter taken to the post office to be recorded delivery, our PO isn’t on a route by bus that we know and the people who own the shop are behind a glass, it’s a skinny shop so it’s not friendly at all. It would take Teen ten minutes to go for us. And finally the heating fixed. Hub would phone the engeneer and convers with him asking teen what it says on our system. Something about green lights and yellow lights, well obviously we can’t do this so Teens eyes for two minutes, no longer is all we asked for. Hmm. Well, I asked him the day before yesterday and last night I asked if I could book his time for fifteen minutes’ work for us, as I was serving his dinner I cooked him. ()() He was cross that I put it in a way I was booking his time. Well what else is it?
Today he stayed in bed until two this afternoon, fair enough he hardly gets time off work. He came down the stairs, Dare I remind him? No, wait until he has eaten. He goes to the hall, puts on his shoes, I asked where he is going? For breakfast.
In town.
Now? I asked? Mum, stop asking too many questions. I reminded him about our heating and my vouchers and the post office. He said the post office is closed, it’s half day on a Wednesday, I said I know, this letter has needed to go for over two weeks. He said he will do it tomorrow… The heating? When he comes back, what time will that be as the office closes tonight at eight. He said he didn’t know. I asked him if he would do my vouchers? He grumbled like mad, at least he didn’t swear at me and told me to be ready as he didn’t have time for this rubbish. Gosh immediately I had to open my lap top. I opened word. It took me three seconds. Oh, he said, come on, for goodness sake I haven’t got time for this. Can’t it wait? I said no. He read the numbers out told me he loved me and slam, out the door. Oh, if I have the number wrong? No time to just confirm I have it correctly written down? No second chances.
I went into the shopping and ordered a couple of jumpers. So, I don’t know what they feel like. I don’t know what they look like because the description is for sighted people. There is a picture on the shopping page, so why would I need to be told in word? Well, hello, I can’t see your blooming picture. So, we get tearful that we just can’t go to the shop and buy. It’s miles away last time we went it cost £36 in the taxi there and back and the driver can’t drive to the shop, as it’s in a shopping centre. So, we get to the door of the centre. Then what? So many sounds and all glass every shop sounds the same loud music loads of people. So, we ask someone, they point then we ask them to tell us as we can’t see where they are pointing then they go quiet. As they have never had to describe before. Whilst they are in shock, we are standing wondering if they have even walked off. We get someone who can cope with communicating. They tell us to walk forward passing this shop and that, then turn left then pass the other shop with the name that makes no difference because we could pass one shop or ten we wouldn’t know. If you can see you know what you are passing, we can’t, if there are no steps or tactile ground or something to differentiate where we are and in shopping centres there is nothing but flat smooth floor tiles. We head to a door, ask again what shop we are in but there isn’t anyone at the door, you have to go in and stand. And stand. People shop assistants don’t want to talk with us, we are scary people. People tell me I don’t look blind this is why no one comes to me? No, I was on this day with my guide dog. And yes, then they think I’m training her, they have obviously seen me and Wagga walking, smile…
By this stage, we are so lost we wonder how we are going to find our way back out as there are four entrances in the centre and the drivers need to know which one we will be at. How do we know? Do we look at the sign telling us? No, that is for sighted people. Do we ask? Yes, how do we ask? Stand listen for someone passing by, we say excuse me? Silence. Are they looking at us for us to tell them what we want? In fact, is there anyone there? Have they walked away? We got to the shop, it took no joke fifty minutes. If we could see, it would have taken five minutes. I’m not talking about getting there, just finding the blooming shop.
The lady in the shop had to be asked to help us by a passer-by, we asked the kind person to get us a sales person. We waited ages. Eventually someone came to us. I asked if she could help me to shop? She asked what I wanted and this is the trouble, what if I just want to see what there was? No chance, even if I go with a friend I have to know what I want and apart from one lady, I only ever get shown what I want. No choice of anything else. Well I got what I needed, but not what I wanted and she was a lovely lady but didn’t know how to describe the item. It was as if she was exhausted already. All I need to know is the colour and if there is a picture or Patten on it, what it is? People just don’t communicate with words.
So, that shop is on line this means putting in 16 numbers then the pin on the gift voucher, but my friend kindly bought me two gift cards for Christmas, so 32 numbers plus 8 pin numbers. In different boxes. Then I was locked in a box, my lap top kept saying the same thing and I couldn’t get out of that box. I pressed the tab key and escape shift plus tab and all the keys that I would normally use with my software. I had to close the whole thing down, had I lost my vouchers? I will tell you by this stage, I was crying, I had a right pity party as some like to call it, personally I hate that expression, as it’s not pity, it’s total bloody depression, frustration and just fed up of this blooming blindness. I’m chewed with it now, it’s gone on far too long.
One hour and so many minutes it took me to sign out, rather than tab, I pressed enter, so when it asked for my card number, I pressed the enter button then date on card, again, entered it rather than tab as I do on other sites. Each website is different this doesn’t help. So now I have an email to say that my order has been excepted. The joke is, the total comes to £80 my vouchers were for £40 so total should be forty? No, it’s eighty. So has my voucher been lost into space? Never to be seen again?
It’s been hours since my Son left for town, to get breakfast. How long does it take? Will he be back for the heating?
Oh, I have an absolutely hilarious story for you later, it made my year… Okay, we are only on day four, but I don’t think I will find anything so funny the rest of the year. But it shall have to wait for the next blog. Please remind me, just say neighbour if I forget just to prompt me.
So I need a cup of strong tea now and something totally fattening. Seriously, either that or a hug. I just feel washed out, but also what is to come, must tell you this, my Husband is writing a blog for you as we speak now. So see what it is later. X
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