I’m inspired to write a blog thanks to my very very close
friend. Someone Hub and I have huge respect for. Someone I hope we will grow
very old together with.
So, our discussion today was people who say
“I’m blind and I’m very happy.””
Or, “Blindness doesn’t affect me!””
Well I’m also blind and have some days when I totally laugh
so much my stomach hurts. But those days are few and far between. There are
also times when my Husband and I can pat ourselves on our back and say we did
good there. My friends who can see say all the time they are shocked in how
lovely our house is. Obviously blind people all live in filthy houses. Haha. We
don’t you know, I mean, there are some blind people who’s houses look like
total pig sties, but there are also sighted people who live in such conditions!
A couple of my friends who are blind have immaculate houses. Miles cleaner than
mine. If perfect in every way absolutely immaculate is 10 and so dirty it
represents some kind of health hazard, in 1, then mine is probably a seven. One
of my friends is 8 and the other parts are 8 the other are 9. Now my friends will be wondering who’s house I’
talking about, and are they the ones who get an 8 only? Smile…. As for colour
matching houses, I would give myself a 9 and some friends lower, but that is
our houses. And how difficult it is to A, keep them so clean, B, get out to buy
furniture, carpets, rugs and items to decorate. The stress of knowing who you
can trust and who are con merchants is awful. I mean, someone can paint our
walls and how do we know they have done a good job? Someone can do our garden,
we can’t look out of the window to check out their progress. My friend has a
sitting room kitchen and dining room and all her rooms run into each other, all
her floors are the same wood. Her kitchen became damaged due to water, she can’t
get the same flooring, so has had to trust the sales people who have promised
her that the floor they can provide will be so similar to the old, no one will
know the difference. Fact is, will they, know, but will never say anything to
her or even worse, someone one day will tell her the floor doesn’t match, only
a year after it’s been down. Trust. Hmm. Something that keeps getting broken. I
specifically told my door providers that I wanted a bright coloured door. Red
as red as you can get even tomato red. Two years later, I learned that it’s
actually a brownie red. Like brick colour. I was so let down. The guy told us
it was tomato red so we would buy it from him.
Waking up in the morning not knowing what colours you are
putting on unless you use your iPhone which takes ages. Not knowing what you
look like before a big interview. Not being able to read body language of
others. Appearing unfriendly because you never return a friendly smile and
people are unfortunately not educated enough to know we don’t smile back
because we can’t see them smiling at us.
To not be able to take your child where they need to go
because there is no public transport and by taxi will cost half a week’s wage. To
not be able to teach your child to drive when they are older. Today we picked
up tablets for my Husband and there was no Braille on which I was furious about
we didn’t know until we were home. Not be able to just get in a car and drive. We
are prisoners most of the time. And when we do get out, we are chained to
something or someone whether it be a guide dog, white cane or person.
What is a blue sky? As for the blossom on a tree? Nature we
miss. Who is the birthday card from? What does the letter say? Our child comes
home from school and they have a letter you can’t read. You phone one of the other
parents and you can only do that if you can read their number in Braille or use
your iPhone to read a book with their number in. and that takes forever. Or you
have their number stored and to do that in itself is difficult. You find out at
half past five in the evening the next day at your child’s school, it’s yellow
day. So, your child has to wear something yellow. They have no yellow clothes. Well
if you can see you can jump in your car rush off to a shop but if you can’t see
to drive? OK, a taxi, great if you have money but when you get to the shop,
then you need to find yellow clothes in your child’s size.
Even opening a can of food. Or something from the freezer. Yes,
again thank God for the iPhone with its software, but again that is so slow in comparison
to just being able to open your eyes and see what is in your
cupboards/shelves/hands.
What is in fashion? What hair styles are out there? What coloured
make up as for putting make up on? You are lucky enough to find a job, you are
giving a talk. You have a stain on your tie or shirt or blouse. Nobody told you
this. But at your meeting, everyone is looking at it, not listening to the
important information you are talking about.
You have to pay much more than sighted people do for
everything, even my lap top I have a software called Jaws which reads out each
word I type that costs over £700 or $908. Just for the software.
So, yes, we can do things like go to the theatre which I love,
I didn’t when I first went blind because behind the fake smile I had tears
because I no longer could see the expressions on the actors faces to give us
the audience clues to see what their thoughts behind their words were. The colours
of costumes were no longer, I may as well have just turned on the radio. But now
I have adapted to know I can go to one performance per week which will be in
audio which is fantastic a live person rather than a recording will let me know
what is happening on stage. But again,
that is only available one day normally during the day sometimes at night, and I
can go to the cinema and again we are fortunate to have audio which is recorded
so, we wear earphones not to disturb others. So, it’s better now than what it
was some years ago though there are many countries who don’t have audio on
offer, we watch our TV with audio on all the time. Again, very lucky, as some
years ago we wouldn’t have a clue what was happening on our shows. For those
who don’t have audio, next time you are watching something, take note two
things, firstly, how much of your program is silent and secondly how much information
you would miss if you couldn’t see. If you
have audio, all that information is told to us. But again, not every country.
Life as a blind person is possible thanks to advances with
technology and the help of our amazing guide dogs, but even tech and dogs can’t
tell you who’s smiling at you, or see your child in the school play. Be proud
as your child walks down the isle to get married. So, you can say you are
either happier or very happy being blind, but is that really true? And if it
is, just how much help do you get from others family members for example.
If you are scared stiff of going blind, as was I one day,
but now I have got over that grieving and just have odd days of deep sadness
and wishes. Dreams. That I hope will come true, but if they don’t, I’m not
dying, I’m kind of fit. Ish. I can hear and walk. I have a mind to decide
whether I want something or need it. I have brought up my child and things are
very much so possible, but I personally would never ever say, I’m happier being
blind or blindness doesn’t affect my life.
I say it every time, my Husband has been to University, he
has three degrees and a masters in business. I have top marks from college in various
subjects and speak Russian. We are capable, but both my Husband and I have had
stress over qualifying because of sighted rules and ignorance in the education
and workplace.
© Fiona Cummings
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