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Tuesday, 28 August 2018

CALENDAR GIRLS AND THE FLOPPY MAN BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good day Bloggets. I hope I find you all well? Thank you for your emails I have tried to answer some of you today and will do the rest tomorrow. There are some really interesting letters this week. Clair B from Canada, I have emailed you but if you can send me your phone number via email, I will call you tonight. Or, as soon as you read this. Just in case you read the blogs before your email.

 

Now then, a very happy birthday to Jean and Pat. I hope you ladies have a great day.

 

If it’s your birthday today, best wishes from me and I’m sure all our Bloggets, especially to you.

 

Now then, last night, my friend asked me if I fancied going to the theatre. Quite a drive from here, but she drives all over the place and has no objection to doing so. Bless her heart, she is so sweet. She is the kind of friend who I just feel so very comfortable with and she is the best guide ever. So natural and caring. Never makes it awkward just normal, I guess only those who are blind or who have little sight will know what I mean. It’s just as it should be, two friends out and about, no “Oh, I’m rubbish at this, oh, I don’t know how to do this…””

Do what? Chill…. Step up or down hand on back of chairs. End of. Or if there is a tight gap, let me know then I know to go sideways or breathe in until I’m blue. Hahaha. As one of my friends says, if there is a tight gap, she squeezes all her fat to her back!!

 

So, what did we go and see? Calendar girls. As we picked up two other people along our journey, who I must say provided so much entertainment, oh, my, they were simply hilarious sitting in the back of the car. Tears were coming down my face and my friend who was driving was laughing too, and her laugh is just infectious which made me laugh even more. I’m not sure I was laughing in appropriate places as I think some of the time they were not meant to be funny, oh, but they were bless them and so sweet too.

 

Parked the car and off we went through a rather rough area. But we lived to see another day. As we approached the theatre, one of my childhood idles was standing there. Sadly, having a smoke. But my friend asked her if we could have a photograph. She took the picture and the two other ladies stood at one side of the actress and I the other. Isn’t it funny how on TV you imagine someone to look or appear in a certain way but in real life turns out to be so different?

 

Oh, she was so nice it made my night. Who was she? Well she appeared in a UK comedy show on TV in the 1980s, called Hi De Hi, where she played an amazing character called Gladys Pugh. Oh, bring back that show please? In fact, bring back or renew anything she has done or will do. She is the best. But one other person who I was surprised in her acting skills though from her father I shouldn’t have been surprised, was Fern Britain. I only know Fern from presenting programs in the UK like This Morning which is a bit like the Today show in America. So, to see her act in such a brilliant way, was fantastic. In fact, all of the actresses and actors were first class.

 

Well you would laugh, anyone who knows the story behind Calendar girls, a group of ladies from the WI, women’s institute, who traditionally start their meetings with the song Jerusalem and who do good deeds for others, a little like the grown-up girl guides. One member in the production acts out her Husband who dies of cancer. It’s all about her being at the hospital waiting for him to receive his treatment and how bad the waiting room is for visitors. Well because this wife is a member of the W I, she decides to ask the other members if they will do a calendar to raise money to buy a sofa for the waiting room at the hospital… only this calendar is different. Each month depicts a nude picture of a member of the W I with in this shows case, cakes hiding their private parts… I guess if you have never seen the film, it sounds a little crazy. But it’s truly funny though obviously has some parts that are rather sad.

 

Well the entertainment continued after the ordeal of coming down the dreadful stairs in the theatre. Oh my, I was terrified. I hate coming down stairs, especially when 1, there is no handrail, for most of the journey. 2 the steps turn different ways and some are half steps you step onto and 3 when you are high up, I can’t see but I felt the vast open space in front of me. I was petrified but my friend bless her helped as best as she could and if I had fallen, well apart from I would have probably killed myself, I would have taken a few people out with me on my way. My poor friend included. Oh, the responsibility. Hahaha. In the lift coming down the three other floors after we climbed down about forty dangerous steps was so funny. Well going up there was a lady with dreadful respiratory problems, the sound was scary. And coming out of the theatre, again in the lift, one man among loads of ladies spoke of his toilet habits with someone else pushing every button though no one wanted those floors, we were given a view of each floor as the lift doors opened. The staff were lovely and it was a great night. And the car journey home didn’t stop the entertainment as it continued with the comments from the ladies in the back seat.

 

I love the theatre and as I told Hub all about it on my return, he actually was creased with laughter  too. Seriously, I guess you had to be there, but I was and I’m glad I was.

 

Hub is off for a couple of days on business. I miss him already but tonight he is going out for a meal with his colleagues and I am sure he will have a lovely time. The Little Fella will follow the guys leading Hub and I am sure he will do a great job. He is a great guide dog at following, where as my Waggatail, if she leads she’s great, but if LF goes ahead and her and I follow, well, forget it. It’s as if when she is leading, she thinks she’s driving us all. Me, Hub and the Little Fella. But when she is behind, she’s like. “Over to you LF. I shall just stand here sniffing come on LF, why are we not moving?”” Hub and I have tried many times where we follow especially if the odd occasion I have to take her to the town.. Oh, my never again. It wasn’t good.  She could have got a job as one of those living statues…

 

All we have done today is post a letter. How exciting? But tomorrow I hope to meet with a friend and go to a garden centre. If she’s a good girl we may pop by the pet shop and get her a special treat. Waggs that is, not my friend…. She’s never a good girl. May be even a new toy. Hub will not be impressed as they have a cupboard near where their beds are and it’s so full of toys, the door hardly stays closed. Today she’s playing with her road kill squirrel. It’s so soft and has a squeak at each end. BW rose from his pit, well his bed earlier and said Mum, I feel sad looking at that. Bless him. Apparently, it looks real. At least it doesn’t have the tire marks on it like some of the road kill have. That’s really going too far.  She has her teddy bear too and her octopus, so they can all go in the wash tomorrow. Two days of dog slobber will be enough…

 

BW is meeting with his old friend today thank goodness. It’s been too long since he got together with him, in fact any of his pals.  This pal is going to be a doctor. He’s still at University on his last year. He’s such a lovely lad.

 

Well I had the oddest dream last night. I caught a burglar. I was letting the dogs out in the garden and saw a ladder but no one was there. I first thought it was the window cleaner. Realising it wasn’t, I went in the house, locking the dogs in the conservatory so no one could get to them, whoever was in the house. Now why I didn’t call 999, is beyond me. And remember, in my dreams I can see as I did when I had sight. Anyway, I caught him. I grabbed him and did a move that tires me out thinking about now, let alone actually performing such a karate move… when I got this giant of a man to the floor, I picked him up, put him under my arm and held on whilst wondering what to do next. Bahahaha. Firstly, this guy was head and shoulders above me and I’m tall. Secondly, he was as light as a feather. He was flopping around under my arm like a rag doll. And thirdly, he had no trousers on… em. Yeah, he was, flopping around…

 

I mean, what to make of that?  Seriously whoever wants to Annalise my dreams is very welcome.

Oh, and he had a really thick knitted jumper on….

An on that note, I shall leave you with some words of wisdom…

Be wise today so you don’t cry tomorrow.

Unless you have two funny ladies in the back of your car… Then the tears will just keep coming, only tears of joy. The best kind.

 

 

 

 

 

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