EVIL ON THE LINE

Long time since I did this, but I’m up and about and it’s almost four in the morning. The birds have been singing for over an hour. I have done my online shopping I just cannot get it any lower. Now Hub tried the other day spent ages and I waited and waited to learn when the delivery was to come, but so far not been clarified so I have done the shopping again, whilst a basket waits for Hubs approval. Hehehe. To be honest, I hated this week’s shopping, as the choice for vegetarians is not inspiring. I really really don’t like the ready made meals for Vegies but also hate cooking, so what to do? Well, I have ordered loads of beany kind of things to make a casserole as I do love them, and it all goes into one pot and you can get two days out of that, right?  So that’s two days out of seven. Hmm. I can’t stand artificial food. And sadly that is what Quorn is. It’s easy you would think for meat eaters? Not my boys. Teen only likes burgers and chicken. Hub only likes sausages and they both eat fish. So pork? Lamb? Beef? No, this kind of makes it a challenge to cook. Variety? There’s none.

 

We had the, IT on the phone to teen last night begging him to go back with him. Haha haha. She’s a total desperate joke. No doubt they will end up together, but teen is too happy right now to go back to that life again. IT was on the phone until after one. Of course IT’S finished her exams, so it doesn’t matter if Teen is interrupted. Selfish with a capital S. Remember last year, she finished her work for the year and teen had a week, when IT was taking her exams, oh, there could be no contact at all, but as soon as it was over, IT was calling till all ours of the morning. Well, not sure where IT#s going for the summer and if IT will be back, but let’s hope we get the summer over with before the thunder starts. Of course the poison will be back, IT won’t be able to resist! No other man will put up with IT so she will come running back to teen. Now will he have it back? His choice. But his friends can’t stand her so hopefully he will see through her too?

 

Nice to see IT begging though. Like the dog she is. Not a nice dog either, but a vicious evil mutt.

 

Well, teen’s car, my ex kindly put money towards fixing it, Teen took it to the garage. It cost so much money, almost half of what the car is worth. More proof that it was damaged goods sadly, let’s hope now it will be safe? If so, it’s a nice car really.

 

Teen hasn’t got a penny to his name now, until he gets paid. Not for a week. How he will survive? I don’t know. He isn’t making enough money to live the lifestyle he wants. And that is without IT. If he was with that, he wouldn’t be able to afford to run his car.

 

He went through his exams yesterday with us. He has about twenty hours work to do and he is at college this week, twelve hours. Next week, max, six hours, so eighteen hours college work, and twenty hours of work to do. So unless he works at home, he isn’t going to pass. He has come so far, I really hope for his sake, he does it, he is so bright, but hates study. But he did well last year, last minute of course, so let’s hope again this year?

 

I have a busy day today with my Waggatail; we have some local places to visit so I guess I should get some shut eye? Question is, how? How to close my eyes when they are fighting to be open? Even though they are full of grit.

 

I’m thinking about a friend of mine in Scotland, who has my eye condition, no one in her family has this dreadful disease, and my friend was the first, but sadly for her, not the last. Her Son has had it from birth, her daughter was diagnosed with RP at the age of ten so five years ago and now her youngest child of eight has it too. My friend is totally blind now and is only forty, of course that is a lot older than I was when I went blind, but still so young with all three children with the condition too? She is devastated. Some would say she shouldn’t have had kids, well, with her being the only one, she took that risk, and risk it is. Then when that child was born, she thought no way she would have another child with the condition. And the third and last, she really hoped she would be OK, right up until Christmas time, but the little girl started showing signs. Bumping into things in the dark, during the day not finding things that were near her either on the table/desk or floor. It all happened so quickly.  Thankfully she has a loving Husband to help her with this difficult time. I pray that teen never has to go through that, though to be honest; it’s not the end of the world though I’m sure parents believe it is. My friend blames herself and that is a crime in itself. She has so much love to give her children. Thankfully she is independent and works, so she is an inspiration for her children. In fact the eldest boy is off to University in September.

 

Once you except this eye disease there is hope for you. It took me so long and I live with it now, but I hate it, though if I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t have the best friends in the world and wouldn’t have met my Husband. Just one day, I pray for that cure. Just to make our lives at home an and away easier.

 

Poor Hub today or should I say yesterday, he was in his meeting and his eye started to bleed. Oh how awful must that be? And why? No one knows. Bless him. No Doctor knows why my Husband is blind. He was born that way. The Doctors used to make his parents put glasses on him to make him see they thought. So sad. He was only two and he had to wear these glasses tied around his head. Bless him, the size of them too? I saw them at his Dads house as he still kept them. They look like what you would put on a doll.

 

Blindness can be death, and darkness, for me it was for so many years. If not for my Son, I would not be here now. I’m glad I am I’m glad I’m a survivor. I laugh live and love. I do all my own house work cooking, Hmm. Washing ironing cleaning windows bathrooms you name it around the house. We do all the things sighted do like empty bins and so on not gardening, but I have been told of many blind gardeners, not us, no thank you, we don’t know if we are touching a slug/worm spider whatever. So not going there. Good luck to those who do, but that’s not me not us. We do all our own shopping and banking. Sort out finances and so on. OK, we can’t paint and decorate, but imagine if we did that you wouldn’t have had the funny stories about our toothless painter. Hahaha.Everything we do it takes guts strength and more, but thing is, we can do it. As will my friends children. I bet she is not sleeping tonight either. I think it’s a guilt thing. I mean, my Son has said to me, why did we have him knowing he could be born blind? My answer was, I had a feeling, a strong feeling I had to have a baby. I had no intentions of doing so, as from the age of four I was told not to ever have children, imagine?

 

My Son came a year before I lost my sight and both parents. That feeling? It was something I will never be able to describe. I always say, he is my angel.

 

But we didn’t have any more children. Funny thing, we did try for two years, I do oftern wonder if our next baby would have had RP? And the life I suffered wouldn’t be fair to have a child again. And now between Hub and me, we have three kids who we are so proud of. Hubs two girls too, their Mum has a different condition which means her sight problem also was or is, hereditary but it’s not RP. And again, thankfully girls OK. Now their children? Who knows? Gene therapy, we need to know more. To remove genes that are faulted. Hub has such mixed feelings about that. He doesn’t think we should mess with nature. But it would eliminate so much pain. As a child growing up in a sighted world, it wasn’t at all a good place to be and as a young Mother with a little baby, it was so challenging. Having said that, I was the best Mum my Son could have had, though far from perfect, looking back, there is a lot I wished he had not have gone through. Same for our girls, but I guess it makes them kind people though I’m sure at times, resentful. But hopefully too, they thank their lucky stars that they have sight.

 

OK, I’m rambling on and on and again, words before me and fingers just about typing, not even sure what the heck I’m doing now, I’m so tired. Forgive me for this blog? I seriously can type when sleeping. And I’m too tire to read this before I publish it, so I shall say nighty night for now, and hopefully in the morning just before I go out with Waggs, I will write some sense.