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Thursday, 16 May 2019

SUPERMAN AND QUORN BY FIONA CUMMINGS


I’m really getting old. In the afternoons now I am so tired. I managed three and a quarter hour sleep last night before being awake for almost two hours then I had another forty minutes before I had to get up at five minutes to eight. That is normal for me. It was well after 2 this morning before I fell asleep. I would love to know if my biological family have bother sleeping or is it just me as I have never been able to sleep. I remember at boarding school looking out of the scary fire escape door, as it was glass and seeing pitch black, turn into inky blue with finger like as I always refer to them, tree branches. As a young child I hadn’t realised that is what they were and they used to scare me witless. Isn’t that a funny expression? To scare someone witless, or to be scared witless.

 

Well, at least I am not hearing Mickey or Mini mouse in the loft now days. If you remember I told you a couple of weeks ago that we had a mouse in our loft. Well, Hub set a humane trap up and asked for my chocolate. I ran to the kitchen, seriously, ran, so fast it would have measured on the Richter Scale.

 

No no get off it.

I yelled. Well, I told him he could have a bit of vegetarian turkey instead. I sliced a small amount off for him. That night the little creature came back to hotel Fifi and did his moves on the ballroom floor. He was jiving all night. John Travolta had nothing on that furry friendly little fleabag.

 

Then suddenly, oh, the noise was too much. Had someone broken into the house? Or, was that the door to the trap? Surely not, it was enough to give the critter a heart attack. And it was meant to be a humane trap.

 

Well the next morning Hub had to be up at quarter past six and he left for the day to go three hours away. Our Son had to be up at 20 past six and I was left with this poor mouse in our humane trap, you know the kind that hosts food for them to enter enough time just to close the door on it then we, they, release it. Hmm.

Only thing was, because the boys were at work so early, they had no desire to check out inside of the loft before they left. For whatever reason.

 

All day I was thinking, oh, poor little mouse. It will be so scared. But it had food. Dining out on my vegetarian Quorn turkey.

When our Son came in from work, I told him and he said how long has it been up there? I said during the night and did he not hear it? He didn’t, but I did.

Well I heard something.

So, our Son went reluctantly upstairs and knocked on the hatch door…

Em, son, what is that going to do?

He replied. Scare it so it moves then I will get it and the trap to release it.

I’m like, Son, you knocking isn’t going to make the mouse say, hi BW, I’m in here….

It’s going to make him freeze.

 

He turned to me asking. When will Dad be home? I told him. He walked away from the hatch saying no Mum there are no mice in there….

He then asked again, what time will Dad be home? I told him after 7. He said Ok, I’m sure the  mouse will be okay until then…

Well Hub came in after six. It was bound to be dead, right?

 Wrong.

He went upstairs, Boy Wonder ran to his bedroom and me?

In the sitting room.

 Doors closed.

Firmly.

Hub bravely went up there to tell me what he had caught. He was feeling rather sick. How would he know it had been caught? Well the door would be closed.

The door was open.

And he proudly told me

The chocolate is still there…. Chocolate? I replied. Yes, he dared to tell me. It has left the chocolate.

My chocolate?

Yep.

Not bothered…. Later with that one.

But what it had eaten was the Quorn vegetarian turkey.

Okay, so it walks into the trap, decides what he wants, escapes and goes where?

How did the door not close? Heck. Not heard it since. So, I either hope it was fast enough to get a scare but not injured. At least it had a bit of a meal but isn’t it funny what it ate? An I guess they left the chocolate because the door started to close? Or, like one of my friends and our Blogget said, perhaps there were two and one stood on the door whilst the other one went for the feast.

 

Not heard anything since. Not sure where the mouse went.

I am thinking it went into the trap. Realised the door was closing. Grabbed what it could bounced out making a crashing banging sound and did in deed, have a heart attack.

So, when Hub goes up there, yack, he may stand on it and at the end of the day was it a mouse or a rat, or, a bird may be a bat? Oh, double gross.

It could have been superman?

 

 

 

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