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Monday 6 May 2019

DIARY OF JUST CARE BY FIONA CUMMINGS


 A dear Blogget wrote to me of late, to tell me she has fallen in love. Her new boyfriend is 10 years younger than her. Guessing at her age, I think she is chasing 80. Apparently, she looks years younger though. She is so intelligent and a lovely lady, she is fun too and so positive, well, it just shows that you should never give up looking for love. Oh, it’s so lovely to see how happy she is. She is almost totally blind, but nothing will stop her from getting out there and trying her best to live a strong happy life. but what about those who just can’t find that strength? Don’t feel alone as you really are not, alone. I spend so many hours per day writing to people who are just not in a good place, either because they have just been told they have RP, or they have been told they will be blind very soon may be with a different condition and those who have other things that prevent them from feeling they can carry out a happy life. may be a divorce, or problems with their children young or grown up. Possibly they have lost their job and just can’t find the energy to get out there to search again, filling in loads of application forms to find new employment. Whatever reason is stopping you from feeling positive, just don’t beat yourself up for it. A great friend of mine is what or who I call a super blindie, haha, she goes all over the place with her guide dog. Nothing on the outside seems to bother her or stress her. For years and years, I believed this. But she is the most supportive person and is first to admit that actually getting out there is the hardest thing in the world to do. So, because she gets out, gets places and safely back home again, doesn’t mean it’s come easy to her! She has explained before to me that she has the same worries as I do, but she has the strength to kick the butt of her fears and try. If she fails, she tries until she succeeds. Where as I’m more like the person who is afraid to try.

 

In my past I have had some horrific things done to me said to me and I have seen things I should have never witnessed. I have received a bravery award in London and for what? I’m so not brave, quite the opposite. I was talking with Hub last night about a couple of things that have happened to me and I just can’t believe that was me. I guess that is what has made me very safe and some would say boring now. experiences that have chipped away at my soul yes, I have beaten off horror and defeated situations but what has that done to me long term? I guess left me weak. Exhausted. As for the bravery award? Well if someone is brave, that to me means they have done something voluntarily and it’s to benefit someone else. My reason for this award was for the pain and suffering I went through when I was six in Russia! Believe me, those seven weeks were not as a volunteer. I was chased, threatened and held down, before inflicting me with excruciating pain. Tortured, yes, that isn’t brave. That wasn’t saving anyone. That was suffering that I went through and I tried to run away, but failed. That didn’t deserve the bravery award, but I still have that beautiful block of glass with a lovely seagull and plaque inside the clear glass made from gold with my name on and written Child of courage, and a  framed certificate, but though I don’t feel pride because I have done something for someone or helped someone, I get pride with the knowledge that I have been through that and perhaps it helped me what was to follow in my life. we climb small steps so we can stretch ourselves to get to the next level. But that doesn’t make me brave that tells me really, I can do anything. Though I struggle listening to my voice of encouragement but on days when I am not feeling too good about myself, those things were done to me, and I survived. For what reason? That is the next question. Because since then I’m not sure at all of my purpose in life. my darling Husband says if I hadn’t come along, he wouldn’t be here now, but I am still wondering if all that from years ago justifies my circumstances in life. I hope one day to really know why I’m here why I survived the attempts of my, what should I call her? Em, biological Mother and I hope I will learn of my purpose in life!

 

What I am trying to say is, we are all strong in our own way, but sometimes we just need to be reminded, and I hope that will give us strength, but like my friend, if you are stronger as far as  the outside world, are concerned, like her, please remember to have compassion for those who haven’t been able to climb to your level of life’s  challenges. Don’t ever make others feel bad about themselves. My friend is so good at making me feel normal, even though my challenges are what comes so natural to her she will support me by just understanding and saying how she too has been there, though it may have been twenty years ago, she has a gift to make it sound like it was just yesterday when she experienced what I have.

 

Please don’t put yourselves down. I am sure there is something in your life that you have done that someone out there wouldn’t have dared to do. I am sure at one point of your life you have had huge impact on another, even though you may not know it now and never will. We are all here for a reason, a purpose, it just may take a long time to realise why we are here. But every person is important.

 

 

 

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