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Tuesday, 28 May 2019

FAMILY HOME BY FIONA CUMMINGS #InspirationalDiary


I am lucky to have two beautiful soul sisters who see things for me. If I need to know what something looks like on line, I copy the link and send it to them. Bless them, they are so kind and write back telling me what something looks like. I love them. Terry and Sheila, bless you both.

 

I saw something a while back which said something like why is it those you love the most are far away from you? That is the case for me my closest friends and family live a long way from here. Canada, America, the South and North of England and of course my lovely Blogget and dearest friend in South Africa.

 

Wouldn’t it be great if all the people we love we could scoop them up and all live together in a village?  How happy would we all be then?

 

Jack, a Blogget was asking about the stalker from Australia I had some months ago. Well Jack thank God he’s gone for now no doubt he will be back. But my Solicitor is keeping my files open at no charge thankfully as I know her well. She is a friend. It isn’t his fault; I know him well and he is just crazing all the time for attention.  It’s sad really for him.

 

Our Boy Wonders Girlfriend Shamrock has a new job. Bless her she is really tired as there is not much to do so, she is bored, it’s so quiet compared to where she used to work and she has more responsibility. But she doesn’t do that many hours. She came around earlier, it was nice to catch up with her.

 

We are out again this week with our friends. Just the four of us this week. Looking forward to it. And hoping to meet up with my brother in law and sister in law soon. Again, we don’t see enough of each other. Same with my brother and family. I really hope our Son has lots of children. I spent most of his life saying only two sons… but now I hope for three at least. I long for family get togethers around the table. Hub will make the best Grandfather, though he says he will totally spoil them.

 

Sitting here just before I close the house for the night, there is a chill in the air. We have had rain all day and next week it’s forecast to be so lovely, hotter than parts of Spain. Bring it on. We may go to the beach if the sun has it’s hat on for this weekend.

 

I dream of living near the beach. It’s my wish to smell the sea air. Hear the waves clashing against the rocks as I sit on my balcony sipping morning tea! A beautiful guest room for my friends to come and stay and family too.

 

Our Son says he is moving out next year. Not sure where he is going to live, but it won’t be my home town of Newcastle as he says where we live now is his home. I used to wonder would he go back home. I also wondered if we would, but now I doubt it. Unless we win the Lottery and then we will buy that sea house next to the wonderful beaches in Northumberland.

 

I do miss where we used to live. It will always be my home. What makes a place our home? Is it where we grew up? Is it where our parents last lived or where we made our own hommes with our children? Or, is it just where we feel at one, at peace?

 

I just read.

 Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.

 Isn’t that so true?

 

Home is where our feet may leave but our heart remains there. I love these quotes.

“A house is made from bricks and beams; a home is made from hopes and dreams.””

“Home is a shelter from storms. But you know, not everyone feels that way about home. If you are one of those people, then I hope you can make your own home one day and it will be as perfect as these quotes.

 

Your very own home is what you make of it. “Life takes you unexpected places. Love brings you home.””

“I left the light on in my heart in case you ever want to come home””

Family, like branches on a tree. We all go in different directions, but our roots remain as one.

 

I wish I could see pictures of my family on places like facebook. My software speaks only words. So, every word I type or words that are written. So, it doesn’t tell me of pictures or pics of texts. I wish I could see what my family looks like. I feel so distant from life sometimes. My Husband asked me a question last night that I didn’t hesitate to give him the answer, though afterwards felt a little bad. He asked. Why do you like people taking photographs of us all and why do you like doing videos of us? My answer was simple. One day I dream to see. If dreams come true, I will sit going through all photographs and videos. And if I am never able to see, then our Grand children and our Son will be able to look back at photographs of his old Mum and Dad…

 

It’s been so long since I saw the faces of my parents. They died 21 years ago and since then I have been blind so, can’t even look at their photographs to remind me what they look like. About five years ago, their faces started to fade in my minds eye. It broke my heart. Since my Son was one year old, I have never known what he looks like. Again, it kills me that.

 

One day please soon, let there be a cure for blindness. We with RP, get told there is treatment on the way, but when? Not just for me, but my Sons children, God forbid if they are given RP too, I pray not. I don’t think anyone in my biological family have been cursed with RP. I am the only one but that doesn’t sadly mean that I will be the last one. As I always say, they can send a man to space but not cure those with diseases on earth. Something is very wrong.

 

Blindness isn’t just where we can’t see. But we can get very depressed. Leading to not being able to sleep. Leading to being very tired during the day combining no sleep with depression can also cause obesity. Some may turn to drinking too much. If you don’t eat well no sleep and more, that can cause loads of medical issues. And the list goes on. It’s not just, and I say just very loosely, blindness. And when you have RP, it’s the fear of the thought of going blind. How will that effect your life? I have friends who have RP who had great sight didn’t even know they had RP they even drove until a few years ago. But they were the lucky ones. They didn’t’ have to go to boarding school. They did have chance to drive and even see their children grow up.

 

But we are lucky too, as there are a lot of people much worse off than us. People getting tortured. I feel I did as a child, but there were many good days mixed in with the bad some people never know what it’s like to have a good day. We as people who are blind do laugh. And can do so much. But there are a lot of people who have poor sight who have forgotten how to laugh. I just hope your happy days come back soon. Right now, they may feel a thousand miles away, but your day will come again. Just you wait and let me know when that day comes.

 

  

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