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Thursday, 13 October 2016

DIARY OF THE WORDS BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good afternoon dear Bloggets. Hub off to Manchester today with the Little Fella. An adventure on a train. I had to go out today, but it’s pouring here so going to wait till it stops. Today we have views from UK and the US, the gap between the UK and US was closing in for months, but now I feel the US have other things on their minds. My faithful Bloggets from Canada are here, also Czech Republic, Poland, Australia today we have had 27 views and from Germany, 19. Normally Australia and Germany I see about eight or nine of you per day on average. So, who else have come into the Blogget bungalow today? Israel, Mexico and South Africa. As I always say, these are just the top ten views I wish I could see more of you? Please write and tell me where you are from?

 

It’s cold and wet today. Teen is still in bed and its lunch time, I guess he is catching up with his sleep. He has been up four mornings at half five to start work. So today is his day off. Next one is Saturday and for a change, Shamrock has the same day off so they will be doing something I’m sure. I hope that Teen will get me my picture frame though first? He said he would. No way Hub and I can do that, even if we were to carry the huge painting and go by taxi, you can’t drive to where the door of the shop is, it’s down a very narrow lane down a cobbled street nestled among Victorian shops. Well that is what they were at one time perhaps, or houses, whatever, they are really old buildings. Into the sawdust shop of the framing man and show him what is needed then a week or more later, he will have it ready, all packaged in a huge bag, wrapped really perfectly. He is a spooky kind of guy and his shop my Husband says by my description, is typical of his trade. Even the counter seems to be made from the backing of a wardrobe. Haha. There are parts of frames all over the place. It’s really messy, but his frames are really beautiful when they are finished.

 

Teen told me about the painting I received from my friend last night. Wow, it sounds amazing. He said it was very mystical.

 

I love old stuff. Especially wood. My latest coffee tables I sent for were so inexpensive, I was shocked at the weight and quality. My friend Geordie loves them and so does Teen. I have written before they are like heavy old books piled on top of each other. The detail is great and the books made from wood, are hand carved and not all in a neat pile either, so they add character to a room. Well, in my imagination that is. If I could see, I may think differently.

 

This brings me to what I want to chat briefly about today. I have a friend called Terry, she is amazing, on line if I ever need to know what anything is like, as in a picture on Facebook for example, she will tell me and her amazing ability to describe things is a gift. She also has my eye disease but she still thankfully has enough sight to do this for me. I call her my angel eyes because that is what she has. As so many of my friends who are partially sighted just don’t give blind people a second thought when it comes to describing what they have posted, again, on social networking groups. Friends who are sighted, of course, they would never think about doing this, there are the odd few who are so kind to put four or five words at least to just include me and others who may not see the picture, or words in a text, as my software doesn’t read a picture of writing, only the writing that is written in word. But it’s the people who are partially sighted that I just don’t get.

 

The mind of a Psychologist in me may say it is because they want to bury their head in the sand. Well, perhaps, but I just think it’s down to people not giving others who are less fortunate to them a second thought.

  

It was funny because wen we used to go to the big reunions, my friends who are blind used to say that there was the big divide. So the partially sighted would sit at one end of the room where as the others in other words us, who couldn’t see, would be at the other. At first I used to smile and think they were being paranoid. Well, after a few times and them insisting, I took note, and they were correct. In busy pubs for example, it would be difficult for us to mingle as blind people because there would be tables and chairs people carrying drinks and total strangers of course would be in the pub or restaurants. Knowing my luck, I would go to be sociable and end up sitting with someone else at their table. Well, it wouldn’t be the first.

 

Many years ago, I was to meet with a boyfriend. I came out of the building I was in, he would be in the car park. I stopped as I could see then, not fully though, enough to see to walk around without the aid of a white cane for sure.

 

His car was right to the left and I ran to it. Those were the days when I could run? Haha. I opened the passenger door, as I put on my seatbelt, I wondered why he didn’t talk to me? I looked to him.

It wasn’t him.

Oh.

Oopsy?

 

And I have told you before about when my ex and I took my youngest Niece to our local swimming pool. I asked her had she seen her Uncle, as we had not seen him for ages? She pointed and swam off to him. So I went in that direction.

 

There he was, I pretended I was a shark as you do. Making my hand come from the water as if to launch an attack my predator.

 

I put my hand on his chest and as I raked my fingers down his chest, ever so slightly… I repeated the words.

“Kill.

Kill.

Pushing him under the water slowly. My ex laughed in a kind of manic manner. As he went further and further under the water, I suddenly wondered how my ex’s normal pigeon chest, was more let’s say,

 padded?

Oh.

Another Oopsy.

It wasn’t my ex.

 

I suspect that poor man is still undergoing therapy as I write?

 

So, what is it, with my partially sighted friends, is it too painful to think that one day they may be blind and if they burry their head in the sand, it won’t come to them? Or can they just not be bothered? I have also noticed not with my friends from abroad, but my UK partially sighted friends, just how obsessed they are of taking pictures/photographs?

Putting them on social media.

And of course not saying what they are of. Some say to me that they are rubbish at describing, well, if you take a picture of a child, your child next to a tree. You could say, Kara next to tree in garden. It’s better than what my software will read out when I get to the picture. It reads

 

 

 

Nothing. Then goes onto the next words that are written. Shopping is a night mare now because the designers of the websites think everyone can look at the picture so no words are needed. And a lot of shops take a picture of text, again, our software only reads words as in WORD.

 

So, awareness. You could make a huge difference as we as blind people sometimes can feel left out of life, and little things like that help. My angel eyes if she were to describe the picture of my friend’s child near the tree would give so much detail, and for that I love her and more reasons, but her detail is great. I have lots of friends who keep saying, oh sorry Fiona, I keep forgetting you can’t see. Haha. Well I wish I could forget? If a miracle ever occurs and I get my sight back, I think I will probably get told off from my friends who can’t see by telling them everything, but just a little few words would be good, and as I said it’s mainly among my friends who are partially sighted, so they should know better?

 

 It’s too long ago, but may be eighteen years ago, before I went blind, I would have been the same? I knew no better. But I would hope that if someone told me, or asked me to say what something was, I would remember?

 

A memory has just come to me. Something I have written about before. As a young adult, I avoided people with any kind of eye condition, because when I was very very young, being around those who couldn’t see depressed me. But now I’m an adult, I know it wasn’t because of their sight, but other issues, as when I am with my friends who are blind, we have the best time.

 

The thing I am thinking about was simply awful. It was once no, twice a year a day out for those who are blind or partially sighted. The latter was me then. At Christmas there would be a Christmas lunch put on. We as in my Mum and myself would be picked up by a man driving a huge bus and we would get on the bus and I would smell death. That is what it was like for me. Really elderly people and not the kind of old people I adore, full of wisdom and brilliant stories, but those who are not sure where they are bless them. At the time I was a child. It was just too depressing. I used to think am I the only child in my area who can’t see well? There was a boy there about five years older than me. He as we got older fancied me. Well, let’s face it, there wasn’t much competition? Mind you, enough competition for me to try to avoid him like the plague. Let’s say, not my type… And too old for goodness sake. Hahaha.

 

We would get to the place where we had a meal, and it was oddly the same place I went to a wedding not long ago. How it’s changed…

 

We would be given a dinner, it was always awful and all of the poor old folks would say how delicious it was. I used to hurt for them thinking, bless them, I wonder when their last meal was? Because to enjoy that rubbish?

 

Then the fun, would begin. Bingo. Blooming bingo? Come on, but it only got better Bloggets. Because then I was probably the most sighted person in the room apart from my Mum and some other staff volunteers. So what entertainment do you put on for those who can’t see?

Come on, old Bloggets will remember this story, those who have not heard this story before, what entertainment do you put on for blind people?

A singer?

A comedian? No, they had dancers.

Well, they may as well have had jugglers. There was an elderly gent who would play the accordion… All foot tapping…

 

Those times were hideous and in the summer we would go in the big bus and head towards the seaside. Fish & Chips. Great, at least the food was good, but again, bingo. And don’t get me wrong, I love bingo as in what kids play, but this was proper nana bingo.

 

As for the prizes? Hahhaha. Don’t even go there!!!

 

My life at the time way back was very sad and I needed picking up not left to feel sadness and sorry for which elderly person had died on that outing from last one. I should have been doing what children do, but I don’t think much in my childhood was spent doing what children do. Certainly not boarding school. That was pure hell. Thank goodness now days partially sighted and blind children go to schools for all. So their education may not benefit, but their life will. I have so many scars from the days in our Victorian school and the slightly more modern school afterwards where I went as a teen.

 

Talking about social networking, a name popped up from my old school this week. The son of a hateful cruel couple who made my life full of nightmares when I was away from home. I have never met this lad, but have heard about him. I felt as sick as I did on the Sunday night when I had to travel to school many years ago. The words and actions from this couple were criminal and I don’t know how on earth they have not been locked up for what they did? I wondered how their two kids turned out? If they too had a mean streak?

 

I guess I should think. Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in everyone’s shoes, heal everyone’s heart, adore all Gods, preserve everyone’s dignity and speak humbly of yourself speak candidly so that you cannot be misunderstood       and let every syllable treat those who need help.

 

 Well part of those words Neale Donald Walch may have said, and they are all very honourable, and most of them I can stand by, but in the case of this family, well, in fairness the parents of the kids, I have no forgiveness and only despair, but I seek no revenge towards them as I know their tie will come.

 

OK, on that not so cheerful note, I shall leave you for now, but I will be back with a blog I have been asked to write by one of my Bloggets. Subject? Something I know nothing about… So some research to do. Until later I shall leave you with these words.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

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