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Tuesday, 18 October 2016

A LIGHT LUNCH LOVE AND LAUGH BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Well as Hub left the house this morning at half seven. There were bells at my bedroom door. Oh. I guessed it was doggy day care for Mummy Fifi? Tomorrow LF has a big train journey to do so I’m presuming today is Little Fella’s day off work?

 

After putting the bedroom rug from the guest room to our lounge over the weekend, I told myself it was time to get up, with the knowledge that our silly living room door won’t keep closed. We are in desperate need for new doors to our lounge. These have been in since the house was built, and they don’t only look shabby, and I’m not talking shabby chic, but old. A lick of paint won’t make a difference. The handles are awful. They are meant to be brass but the black is showing through. So, some brass cleaner? Well perhaps, but they are not real brass. And, they don’t keep closed. Also the double door going through the lounge has a catch on it that Hub and I keep catching as we go through. It bends like Beckham. So, we could get a joiner out to fix it? OK, put all that together how much will that cost? Loads and I can’t be dealing with all those different workmen not only that, we will have to buy all the stuff. Unless we want to pay even more. And the doors are hideous. Real seventies, though the house was built in the 90’s… Not sure how that happened? But time has come when we really need to do something. The other door if you don’t click it when closing, glides open, not sure if the house is on a tilt or tilting or just a dodgy door. My friend from the US didn’t know what dodgy meant. Haha. Well, duff? Broken? Not good in other words.

 

So my rug so far so good, he was in the living room but played with toys, rather than munching his way through my rug.

 

As I sit here in my lovely lounge, my dogs are killing each other. What with their bells on their collars and the growling from LF as muffled sounds come from little Waggs, I’m thinking a head is in the lion’s mouth? Hang on a sec, I must intervene.

 

Okay so they are sorted for the next 34 seconds. LF likes to play a game where by he traps the Wagging one in the hall/porch and then she has to try to get out, past him. It’s so funny but again I have to after a while encourage Waggatail to come through or she would be in their forever. Waiting, wondering, wagging.

 

Okay, now are you ready for the funny story? All I can say is thank goodness for Tap Tap See on my IPhone.

“Why is that Fiona?”” I hear you say.

 

So this morning I made a lovely few, yep. Sandwiches for breakfast, I know, it’s odd. I won’t tell you what I had in them, or will I? Guess I have to because it’s part of the story. Well, a cheese slice cucumber and spring onions. Yep, breakfast… Keep up… I’m gross when it comes to conventional eating.

 

Piled nice and high, my supper, from last night, breakfast and lunch.  I made a cup of tea in our hot water machine, oh Bloggets it’s the best thing I have ever bought for my kitchen. Those of us who can’t see. It’s worth every penny. Or whatever your denomination is.

 

Only thing about having a water machine, I’m drinking loads more tea. About six cups per day. I only have coffee about twice a week though. And I am English, so we are born drinking tea, right?  

 

Carrying my plate and cup through to our huge conservatory because that is where our dining table is, because our kitchen is just let’s say, an odd shape. Very long but very narrow. And I’m not talking galley.

 

I placed with care my food and drink on our glass table. As I sat down, something was next to my foot. Ug?

 

As I slid my foot to the right across the tiled floor, pushing the object hoping to learn what it was by doing so, it was warm.

Fresh.

Oh my God. What was it? So Bloggets, do I

1, continue eating and drinking, just in a fast motion?

2, Get the heckers out of there and eat food at the breakfast bar? Or 3, bend down and feel what the object is?

 

I opted for the first choice but with a twist. The twist coming up. So, eating fast, putting my hand down on my plate to learn I ate so fast the sandwiches were gone… oh this object, was bugging e. It was longish, had the dogs brought something dead in from the garden? Had our dogs left us a gift of what they should have done in the garden? Or something else…

 

Whatever it was, it wasn’t moving, but I could not get it out of my head what the heck it was? Definitely warm and fresh. Hub let the beasties out this morning so with him being in a hurry for work, as the taxi picked him up today, he wouldn’t have noticed what they had brought in… That was my thought. Second thought, open my IPhone and open the app Tap Tap See.

 

Take a picture of the floor. Well, the first one told me out loud that it was a brown empty chair, now normally this would be good for getting on busses, but it takes ages for the picture to come through, about twenty seconds sometimes.

 

I always take two pictures. So I did from a slightly different angle and the second one came up as grey tiled floor. Well, apart from they are meant to be taupe?

 From yet another angle. This time it read sliced cucumber on a tiled floor. OK I spilled some cucumber out from my sandwich. Not sure how? Then I dared to go to the hot fresh beast on my floor and get up close and personal.

 

Then the real answer came over my phone in speech that was so helpful. So when I heard, what did I do? 1, run like heck? 2, grab loads of paper with a rubber glove and disinfectant? Or three, the third option… Yep, that’s what I will do, answer number three.

 

What was it then? The voice on my phone read.

“Tiled floor with slices of cucumber next to some bread!!!!”

Hahahahaha I hadn’t eaten the food that fast, I’d blooming dropped one of my sandwiches, so what did I do, option three, that’s right.

Called in my dogs. Well, you should have heard the noise of their legs trying to run on a slippy wooden floor from their room to mine, to get to the food?

 

I guess a mopping job for me now though, but no rubber gloves needed. Took me in total to learn what it was about ninety seconds, Tap Tap See is a life line for us. Last night trying to see what colour Hubs shirts were as well, I used it. Whoever invented it, thank you but moreover, thank you that it is free, as most things to do with our blindness is chargeable and charge the earth just to rub in we can’t see, so hey, let’s fleece them too. Well Not T T S. It’s totally free in the UK and a great product. Only thing is, they give you the option to contact them and I wanted to, to say thanks but that side of it isn’t accessible, not that I have found anyway.

 

Teen arrived yesterday, saw his tower, well, not his, but you know what I mean? And today he is at the pleasure beach. He is driving home tonight. I hope will be safe. He is a kid driving like an adult. Only been driving a year and a half, it’s scary the distance he travels.

 

Talking of scary and driving, it is blooming scary to know who is driving on our roads, seriously, some of the delivery people who come here? Oh my? How?

 

Yesterday’s gent. Knocking on the door like the hit squad about to smash down the door, for some reason they do not like to use our door bell. Last one who came, Hub asked him why he didn’t use the bell? Man answered. “Sometimes they don’t work!”

Well, try it and if you don’t hear it then knock? No, it’s more fun to frighten the life out of us by bang banging on the door.

 

Well, the man yesterday. I opened the door. He asked me if I was who I said I was? I said yes. He asked in a rather odd voice. Are you sure? Well, hang on a cotton picking second and I will go and get my passport, just to check and prove to you I am who I am, the person who bought the item you are trying no, sorry, paid to deliver to me?

 

Well, I just answered yes. He then put the parcel into my hands. Great, result, normally they wave it around like a lunatic or put it on the door step though my arms are open for whatever…. That sounds so wrong? My arms open for whatever? Haha. Shall I delete and change? Naha.

 

He put the parcel in my arms and asked me if I had it? No, I don’t though you have now left go so it must be magic, as it’s still in the air? Of course I have it…. Then he asked again if I was sure I had it. And again asking if I was really the person who was meant to be getting the parcel? No, it’s not really me.. So what was it?

 

 Obviously the queen jewels? No, disposable rubber gloves for cleaning the dog run. Hahhahahah. Oh my life?

 

More later with love and a laugh.

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