Happy birthday to a dear lady called Rita. And another Rita,
as in R M Brown, has a quote I really like. (One of the keys to happiness, is a
bad memory.)
Well we were going to have a relaxed day today and, in a way,
I guess we have. Apart from I have been in our garden trying to tie the shrubs
up against the fence. Our gardener did a great job but he hasn’t lifted up the
hanging branches from the plants etc we have. With the lovely weather we have
had this year, our garden plants have really grown. They look lovely, I’m
really happy with them. Goodness knows what they are and what colour they were,
but they feel really nice. Strong too. I have made sure all of our statues are
in place and the garden lights are all standing up correctly and not blown down
in the winds we have had all last week.
We have an arch at the bottom of our garden with blue lights
around it, I meant to ask our guy if they could have a battery in them as our
Son said they weren’t working. When I got them, they looked in my mind of course,
lovely. A blue arch. I had loads of blue lights all around the garden, but they
don’t last those solar powered lights. Oddly the lemon grass and lavender,
still smells nice. Only if I rub the leaves
though. I have just been around the pots to see if they are all OK. Gosh, I have
nine all together. That’s in the back garden. The front only one and that had a
rose in it but now is empty. Not sure what to put in that. I may buy a small
Christmas tree plant it and put lights on for the winter, but plant it in our
front garden in Spring. Our kind neighbour cuts our grass for us at the front
and I would love to do something else with that garden but scared to as he
keeps killing things in my garden. Three sets of lights and two small conifers
have gone to the heavenly garden of no return. He has a hungry grass cutter
which keeps swallowing everything up. I have thought about putting artificial
grass down, but when we looked into it, it’s so expensive.
It’s so reassuring, as a lot of people say our front garden
is really smart. We can’t tell what it looks like, so when we hear that it
makes us feel so much better. We really don’t want an untidy garden, but
neither of us are gardeners, so it’s kind of a natural look.
I think it’s the simplest thing I have, the front garden. A square
with an apple tree and two small conifers, a large yellow shrub near the window
and to one side near our wall, a rose bush. One tub next to our seat and that
is it. Whereas our neighbours have so much in their gardens, but for us the simpler
the garden the less stress for us.
The back is quite simple too. We have shrubs all around the
edges of our slabs and nine large pots scattered. Quite a few statues though
which I love. I have an angel, a cherub, a boy and girl and a badger. A hedgehog
with a dress and hat, pushing a wheelbarrow. She is all stone and all one
colour. I think grey. I have my lovely elephant he’s huge, and a lovely stone
with nine words about Mum, from my boy. And there are another couple of statues
around the garden including a large white lady with a dish of fruit in her
hands. Again, she’s stone and all white. I have lots of windchimes of robins,
blue birds and butterflies. And of course, my bird station. Because all the furniture
from the garden are away for the winter, the garden looks huge, and it’s not
really, just normally we have a swing for Hub, five chairs around a large table
and Hubs wooden sun bed. When I say it looks bigger, it is a feeling of space I
get. It’s nice, everything seems really clean and tidy.
I hope one day to have a garden full of trees. Hub would
love a pear tree. But we are not staying here in this house forever, so the
next place wherever it maybe we shall plant our garden forever, then I guess in
I hope many years to come, our Son will inherit our land. Haha. Land, sounds grand, it will be a back
garden I hope bigger than the one I have now, right now our back garden is
about 15 meters long and wide. Our front
grass is about 7 meters by 4.
I have ironed today
and cooked, cleaned the floors and Hub has cleaned the dog run, vacuumed his
man cave and the garage has been tidied. We have sorted out phone calls we had to do
and now its night time, time to relax, as this was going to be a day or
chilling out, not sure it has been really, but tomorrow is another day. We have
a meeting to go to and apart from that, I think we will be relaxing the rest of
the day.
Once again thank you for your emails. T, I shall write about your subject at the end
of the week. K, I would love to write about what you have asked me but not too
sure I dare… Though when has it ever been when I have been too afraid to write
anything?
Brian asked me to talk about people getting older living on
their own. Well that is a subject I talk a lot about to Hub how I feel so sad
for those who are living by themselves!
Thankfully it’s something our Government is trying to
tackle. I hope with some success.
It saddens me to know that there are people out there who
are lonely and don’t get out of the house. I receive so many emails from you
telling me this. Especially those who live in parts of the world where access
to places is impossible or you just can’t put your foot over the doorstep
either because you haven’t been out for so long, you for whatever reason have
some kind of disability and are not sure how to get out or you just fear the
outside world though you are physically fit.
I have friends who surprise me how they talk of those who
are alone and what a Burdon they are. I just think, what goes around comes
around and you should treat people how you would want to be treat when you are
older. Or, less able. As I know of a lady who is in her forties and she was
very fit until four years ago. She is housebound now and all of her friends
have walked away. No one visits her. It’s tragic. How can people be like this?
When my parents were alive, I was fortunate that my ex
Husband was great with them. He loved them as his own. So, we took them places
and he would visit them with me help out in their garden or drop me off before
he went to work and I would spend the day with them, doing their housework or just
being there. For me it had no benefit in fact it would depress me but at the
same time, there isn’t one per cent of me who would have done anything else. After
all, they were there for me when I was a child. I loved them why would I want
them to be on their own? But sadly, I fear that humans are not so compassionate
now days.
Before you retire, before you become enable to do things,
try to join groups. Make friends so they will be there for you when you can’t
get out. No good waiting until you can’t get out of the house to wish you had
people around you and unless you make a friendship work it won’t last.
But if you haven’t done that, you are now on your own, then I
would hope you will be able to get to some kind of club and the only way you
can do that is by searching what is available in your area. For example, in the
UK, there are some links below.
Try calling your
aging relative more often. Especially if the were good to you, remember that. May
be a call once a week rather than once a month? Believe me, there will be much
more time you will have without your parents than with them.
There’s nothing better than a physical hug. So, try visiting
your parents even if it’s for half an hour once per week, but try not to make
it like a job and more like something you want to do. I read the other day that
there are more elderly people getting conned by door to door callers. The elderly
people are letting in sales men etc just to have someone to talk to. Same as
phone calls. Cold callers often find themselves benefiting financially, because
the person on the other end of the phone needs that contact of a human voice. Personally,
I really don’t know how the cold caller can sleep at nights, but such is life.
You can find out what there is to do in your aging relatives’
area and for their first visit accompany them and may be next time, arrange transport
for them, just enough time for them to make a new friend. A reason to get up
that day.
I have heard in America, you can hire a Geriatric care
Manager. These people are often nursing or social workers and they will be
experienced to match activities and social events with the elderly. They can even go with your parents if you
live far away. There is also a link at the bottom of this blog for Canada.
Try to teach your parent or relative technology. If you don’t
want to do this, then may be a Grandchild? This will open the world to them. I receive
so many emails from people who sadly don’t speak to anyone and in some cases, I’m
their only outside contact. This really breaks my heart. I have found myself
coming downstairs during the night to check my email in case I need to call
them or phone some emergency number, but thank God, nothing has gone so wrong
so far and I hope it never will.
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