It’s heading towards
1 in the morning. I have had a really stressful day. And later in six hours, I have
to be up and ready to start the day again. Another busy day. I hope not much fuss, as today has been up there on the fussomitor..
I heard the other day that stress is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Oh
my God. Why am I still alive? I have stressed since I was a tiny baby. I have
worried about others since I was a year and a half. That was my first memory
about worrying about my big brother. So how have I got to now?
And to make matters worse. I was so careful today trying to
make my Son a delicious meal to come home to, I bought vegan pasta, vegan tomato
sauce, vegan white pasta sauce, vegan butter to fry mushrooms in. broccoli,
spinach, onions and red peppers. To me it needed a splash of something. So,
green pesto.
Oh
No
Never?
My son came in from work he was delighted to see this
delicious meal before him, in fact there was enough to feed him for two days.
Well
He spotted my unknown crime.
That P, word.
I put pesto in. I never knew pesto wasn’t vegan. How stupid
am I?
He was nice about it I could have cried. I hate getting
things wrong and the stress of trying to find jars of sauces among the
vegetarian and meat jars in the fridge almost finished me off. He checked if
the pasta was vegan firstly, then I said I wouldn’t feed you anything with
dairy in. well, that was before I was educated.
He read the ingredients to me. Eggs, milk and, cheese.
Oh, gosh. Well luckily Sham came and ate some. Otherwise Hub
will be getting it tomorrow when he comes in. I don’t care if he doesn’t like
pasta. He can like it tomorrow.
Then he texts me. Telling me off for buying red meat. So, he
has always eaten red meat, but since he was ill he has been told not to eat it
again. So, I have been buying fish and chicken. I just forgot and bought lamb. Well
I ordered the food on line, the email came. Hub read it from his hotel room. And
text me. So, again, wrong. I should say stuff the lot of you and make your own,
but then what would my job be? So, I give the odd speech, write the odd poem
and that’s it. My job is of a housewife and today I failed big time.
I also got into trouble for shopping after only five days. Haha.
Well as I said to Hub very nice, but if we were to get it on day six, it was
going to cost £6 for delivery and the day after, £4.50.
So, we got free delivery for day five. Hub said he wanted
fish or chicken. But I suggested some kinds of fish to him last week and he
kept saying no. so, it was not only chicken tonight, but chicken every piggin
day. So, for a change, lamb… is it red? I thought it was brown, or have I been
blind too long to remember. Oh, it’s eaten to be pink, isn’t it, my memory is
coming back, only I would never serve it pink, I used to eat my meat well
cooked. Never pink. But of course, I’m being silly, it’s classed to be red
meat. It’s just one of those days I removed old flowers from a beautiful vase
Hub bought me for my birthday. I washed the vase,. Placed it with care on my
work top until I answered the front door. There was a parcel. I brought it in
the kitchen as that is where it was going to end up once out of the box. Totally
forgetting that I had put the vase on the worktop, just where I plonked the
parcel. Smash. All gone. Glass or crystal everywhere. I could have, in fact I did,
cry. I hate my eyes most days. But today was worse.
I told hub. I shouldn’t have as I know what he is like, so
just checking my emails, we share our main email account, and there it is, he
has sent for another vase. I have text him telling him to cancel it. How come
he can buy what he wants when it comes to buying me things? He spoils me and I really
don’t deserve it.
I wouldn’t care, I’m the kind of person to have cabinets
full of beautiful things that I wouldn’t dare use. Because of clumsy moments
like today. So why did I ever use this vase? It should have been like all the
other ones I have, just for show. But I used it every time I got flowers. I loved
it. And it was special as I got it for my last big birthday from Hub. But he shouldn’t have bought me
another. I hope he will listen and cancel the order. He has already treated me
this week to a stunning gift of a beautiful dress. I was going to wear a suit I
already have. But Hub insisted I got a new dress. He said we rarely go anywhere
where I wear a nice dress so he wanted to buy me one. He picked it himself. Of
course, on line. Oh, my, no pressure. Description was very brief. I’m talking
it said it was one colour. When it came it’s four colours? What is wrong with
these people who design the page with clothing on? How difficult would it be to
describe it? Anyway, it’s stunning. I love it, Hub thinks it’s wonderful, my
Son loves it. So, thank goodness. And moreover, it fits. Only I’m not sure who
they model the clothing on, as the past few items I have bought of late has
been so long. I’m 5 feet 9 and it’s so long on me. So, going to buy a heal and
if I find I can’t walk in a heal, then I will have to get it taken up. It is
the most beautiful material though.
OK, it’s after 1 in the morning, I have loads to do before I
can go to bed, so I best go for now. up at seven. Have a meeting with a man at
half seven. I think I will look so tired, and I have to have my mind clear all
day tomorrow. To dearest L, I will write soon. I keep trying to do so and
something comes along. But tomorrow I hope to have some me time and talk to
you. To T, I shall write by Friday I promise. I have some research to look up
for you. OK, I am going now. if anyone fancies a vegan pasta with a vegetarian
twist, there’s loads here. Haha.
