Any time you need me, just call. These words are said to us all of the time. I hate to ask for help, you know I do. I would rather go without and often we do if we can’t get to where we need to be or acquire what we want. But really, I’m against time with something we do need. I bit my bottom lip and pressed the panel on my IPhone to text a friend. The response I received was just what I expected, but, still it hurt.
People talk the talk, but don’t like to walk the walk. It just makes me very sad. It really hurts. It makes us feel so very in the way, vulnerable if you like. Helpless. Depressed. Just as if we don’t belong in this world.
Being blind isn’t just we can’t see from our eyes, or that we can’t do certain things, but blindness has a very negative impact in daily living. Hey, firstly, I’m not saying we are useless. In fact, we are more capable than most sighted people in some ways. Our brains in some, cases work better than some of those with full vision, but keeping it real, there are things we just cannot do and no matter how we try, no matter how we even convince ourselves that we can do it, we have to step back, take a breath and say, well, yes, we failed.
I can count on one hand just how many times in life I have failed, but today, is one of those days.
Now I will go and iron, I will put more washing in the machine, I will clean our floors and cook dinner, I will post letters and go to the shop for something I forgot to order on our on line grocery list. We will record our dramas for the week and I will try, to track a parcel I have sent. My Husband will chair his meeting today and deal with conference calls. I will later go to our dog run and clean the mess. My Husband will pack his bag for his business trip. He will go to the train station and get a couple of trains go to his meetings and then his hotel afterwards with his lovely guide dog. He will find his way around the hotel thanks to his dog and get to more meetings the next day, where he is a key speaker. Then he will do the journey home. I just read a letter thanks to technology, it’s not how a sighted person would read it, but we get a rough idea what the print says. I have just answered seven emails from people who need advice and I have just made an important phone call. My Husband will make sure he has all his cards, cards that are not made for people who are blind to travel tomorrow. Life goes on, but from time to time, life just gets on top of us and it stinks.
I kindly and politely requested one hour of someone’s time and this person isn’t in work at the moment, but that person couldn’t spare one hour. And this is fine, why should they? Just next time they say, any time, I will smile, not because I’m happy, just because I can’t understand how some people can stand there and lie.
I’m sure there will be a lot of you who are outraged now by my words. I’m sure I will receive a load of messages, but I’m also sure I will receive even more messages saying I have written words that echo their every day. Just people will not talk out, they live in their protective world where in some cases, their world is so far from reality, but they have to live there to protect themselves from more hurt. There are those who are forgotten and those who are lost and afraid. Well, for you I speak out.
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