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Wednesday, 20 December 2017

SO MUCH AND MORE BY FIONA CUMMINGS


. Sorry I’ve not been here for a couple of days but we have had a busy time visiting our friend’s friends coming here too and just in general trying to do the Christmas thing.

 

The day before yesterday our friends came for a Christmas drink I had sprits I believe that is a mix between fizzy pop and wine. More the soft drink. That’s the kind of drink I like… I’m not into alcohol unless it tastes like flavoured soda.

 

I was so pleased after such a terrible day to hear them say our tree looks lovely moreover our house looks so homely and very festive. That day was a struggle more in a mo jo about that.

 

Yesterday our Son drove us all the way to my beautiful home in Northumberland. I had such mixed feelings about yesterday. Our Son was brilliant driving all the way but he too wanted to see our friends so much as they are the closest people they have had to Grandparents since my parents died. My ex’s parents didn’t care about my ex let alone their Grand Son. My friends stepped into his life when he was four. They have been my surrogate parents and when we moved out of the area my friend Vivi was so upset. As for me? I was chasing shadows and had a bunch of skeleton keys without locks.

 

The weather was icy so difficult driving but our boy has a lot of confidents and I only had to hang onto the handle once bearing my white knuckles…

 

Our dogs were great in transit. It is then when we know for sure they are amazing guide dogs, just sitting in the car. LF in the boot was sitting up, BW was laughing as his back-windscreen wipers were going left to right. As was LF’s head. He looked as if he was playing tennis. Hub told him to lay down, but LF got up again when the wipers went he was so curious. For other drivers behind, he must have looked so incredibly cute. Mind you, it doesn’t take much for him to show that feature of himself.

 

We arrived. I was so excited to seeing our friends. Our dogs are just at home there. My friend has a pet dog and I was happy to see just how pleased her dog was to see ours as the three of them played nicely but not destructively. Smile. When we go to people’s houses, we always keep them on a lead. Our dogs, not our friends. Hahah. But our friend is such a doggy person there was no chance plus our dogs were off work that day. It was their Christmas treat. And they loved it.

 

We had lunch a long chat BW loved his time with my friends Husband. When it was time to leave, BW was sad he said he loves the big man so much. I felt really sad saying bye-bye. Where they live I had a lot of things going on in my life when I lived there. I can tell you it was the most alone I have ever felt living there. It was there where I brought my Son home from hospital after giving birth to him and before all of that, it was that house where I woke up totally blind and my life changed forever.  and there where I had the dreaded time of my life. It was there where I had to give in and except that I was blind for the long run if my dreams don’t come true, possibly forever and where I learned the white cane with an earth angel called David. It was there where I got my first guide dog Also, where I grieved with the loss of my parents and there where I woke up and learned what people are truly like.

 

But it’s there where my lovely friends live and who we love as family. And it was there where I felt the atmosphere of the area and memories flooded in but there where we had a lovely day including our boy who was comfortable and loved his day.

 

We were really sad to say bye-bye though but after the very long drive home, we fed our wonderful dogs and our other friend came to exchange gifts where we shared some laughs with and had a lovely conversation. A good friend who not only took in a large parcel for us that day but removed the note on our door saying where to leave the delivery with. This kind of concerned me as I don’t like to advertise the fact we are not in so for her to do that was fantastic. Bless her.

 

So, what made the other day so bad, well a couple of things but this year is the first year in 19 Christmas’s that I have had to face facts, I now struggle more than ever with a worse outcome than ever with writing Christmas cards. I have always felt so proud that I could write remembering letters, though it was not easy as I had to write without any thoughts of anything else as I obviously can’t look at the letters before remembering where I was up to. I could write in a full office or shop.  This year turned into having to write in total silence. No one around me. And then came Christmas. Oh, this has been a shock. What a dreadful realisation. Not only am I now forgetting how to see in my dreams, but I really really struggled with writing Christmas cards. I wrote mine out the other night and I had to write the name Barbara. Oh, my, did I struggle. I ended up writing something like Barbarbra. It’s the way I write now too. I get so anxious. I panic. I forget some letters and really have to think how they are structured by the time I have done that, I have forgotten where I am up to!

 

I had ordered a box of Christmas cards, when they came apart from being tiny I felt ashamed to send such small cards, but they were bought on line, so, to the eye it would be obvious that they were small, but as obviously I can’t see pictures and sellers are rubbish at describing, anyway I sent small cards. Which way did they go? They felt the same back and front. I’m lucky enough to have an iPhone with the ap Tap Tap See. So, I had to use that and it told me there was a picture on the card so I knew which way it went. But it took about an hour and a   bit, to write and know which way the card should face to put the writing on the correct side as if I write on the side where the words are, I may go over them., where is if I could see I guess it would have took ten minutes.

 

This may not sound a big deal to you, but to me it was and is another kick to blindness.

 

Funny thing happened today our well, actually I shall start from the beginning. Our neighbour sent her window cleaner to ours some years ago. Well I did wonder if they spend most of their year in some kind of prison or rehab. Because seriously, this year they came in January and March and that is all. So, in the early summer our other neighbours have a different window cleaner and they sent theirs to us. Well they are great, nice men, mind you, so are the others but the others look like bad boys, but nice bad guys haha, where as these guys are or seem to be genuine blokes. Moreover, as really, it’s not a personality contest, rather than a window cleaning contest. The do the windows so well. And they come six times at least per year. So, we have clean windows most of the year. Well here is the funny story.

 

Our window cleaner charges £10 as did the other guys. So today Hub being here answered the door.  I handed him the money plus £5 for a Christmas tip… Well long and short, next thing we know, another window cleaner was up the ladders cleaning our windows. Our clean windows. Hub rushed out as he was onto window number two. “Excuse me, we have had our windows cleaned today.””

“Really? Who by?”” Well Hub didn’t say who or, tell them not to come back. Thing is, the voice I heard as I was upstairs drying my hair sounded like the voice from the better more regular ones. I’m thinking oh, no, we have given a tip to the wrong guys? And sent away our good guys… I text my neighbour who sent us the original people and between us we got very confused but a text half an hour later clarified that the second people who came were in deed the first original ones so the ones we don’t want back, but, will they come back and moreover will I know who’s who? Confused? Yep, me too… As were they… well I guess cross too as they had by this point cleaned two windows. Mind you, it was rather obvious that they were really clean. What chances is that, for two companies to turn up on the same day?

 

So, I think that’s us ready now for Christmas apart from one gift Hub is buying for our Son, Hub is such a good dad and is so very kind to BW. He’s a darling of a husband and I’m so blessed to have him.  

 

I went to our shop today and bought some nice food for Hub had a chat to a lovely pal and came home. It’s warm today I don’t like warm at this time of year… Gosh Bloggets so much going on in my life right now, I am praying for something to happen, please can you keep me in your hearts right now for something huge to change in the New Year? Something very good nothing to do with money or health, more personal.

 

OK that is my call to go now, Hub is doing something with our sound system on our TV it’s very loud… I’m grateful to you all and want to send my love for some right now it’s a difficult time. And you know who you are… You are in my prayers for 2018 to be one of better health and I hope your makers are caring for you now so this time next year, you will be free of all worries. X

 

 

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