DIVORCE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 Good afternoon Bloggets. I hope I find you well. Todays subject is one I have been asked to write about by a Blogget from Canada. Divorce. Smile, very cheerful but something a lot of my Bloggets are going through right now and certainly this time of year a lot of you are at least contemplating it.

 

It was ten Christmas’s ago I certainly made the decision that it was my last one with my ex. Not an easy decision after 23 years of marriage but I had to step out of the ditch I was in and moreover I had to get my Son out of that hole of life before it really affected him and his future!

 

My now and I pray forever Husband were talking about this subject earlier today and we said it will not be long before our grocery shops were issuing divorces. I mean years ago, would you think you could pop out for your loaf of bread and can of beans and get your blood pressure checked, glasses renewed or checked out to see if you are a diabetic?

 

Imagine filling in the forms doing your weekly grocery shopping and popping at the relevant counter afterwards, to pick up your divorce papers?

 

Divorce is awful, painful and can be sad. My now Husband wasn’t at all sad when he got divorced but I was because my ex though he was wrong for me, had been a part of my life since I was seventeen. I can’t imagine if you know your Husband is a caring father who adored you and your child, how difficult that must be. In my case, my ex loved me in his way but didn’t care at all for his Son or think about what was best for us both in life. Every day I did for him what I thought he would like and be happy with, but the roles weren’t reversed. Though of course we shared a load of memories. Some of them good. Most bad though. That last Christmas I woke up grew up and stood up!

 

There was so much paperwork to go through so much expense too.  My ex is very very greedy and took more than he was entitled to. But my belief is, what goes around comes around.

 

My Husband says if divorce was so easy, people would have a row and head off to the shop to get a divorce. But I said there should be a cooling off period like the paperwork shouldn’t take place legally until about two weeks. For me and my now Husband, we waisted a year of our time each getting divorced. Far too long.

 

I remember years ago, not that many about twenty, divorce took a couple or more years. My Mum used to tell me in her early days it was rare, people just lived with the same partners but the few who did divorce, it took years sometimes up to six. Oh, my I can’t imagine having to wait until six years before we were free of the life we wanted to leave. To be tied like that must have been dreadful.

 

Thank God now our past lives are, that, past. There is nothing at all in our past that features today with Hub and myself. We have each other and our Son and that is all good. But to get here there was a lot of baggage to get rid of!

 

Hopefully Hubs ex will find a love one day to share her life with and somehow, I doubt there will be anyone who would want to share love with my ex. But hopefully he will be so wrapped up in his own world he won’t bother about that. He will be always free to please himself.

 

There are some cultures where divorce just isn’t possible. I can’t imagine those stuck in such relationships. Each day knowing there is no escape. I really hope one day those people find freedom as we, did.

 

So, if you are at a place where you want out but don’t know how? As long as you are sure, you will find the strength. For me I had no sight, no job, no money and a child. But I had plans that would remove me from that life even though it meant living in a safe house with undesirables. The key word is plan!

 

If in your heart you know it’s your last Christmas year, with your spouse, it will be the toughest year of your marriage, I wish you luck but keep walking forward don’t look back. I haven’t. My now Husband says he is happier than he has ever been in his life. It was so difficult especially all of the paperwork as you can imagine there was nothing like aps on our phones ten years ago that made our lives easier. Like now you can get applications that read at least part of your paperwork out. Back then nothing. Letters would come signatures had to be signed all blank bits of paper.

 

This time next year you will be so much better off if not financially, for sure mentally!