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Tuesday, 12 December 2017

MY CHRISTMAS DIARY (ALL OUT OF FOOD) BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Why is it at Christmas some of us, obviously today, most of us shop like there will be no more shops after the 24th of December? No shops never ever again. As we stock up for Christmas it’s getting more ridiculous every year. My good old shop Morrisons, I went to do a New Year shop on line after my groceries came yesterday and I discovered that my toilet rolls were unavailable and they couldn’t substitute my snowmen loo rolls for any other kind in the whole shop, I mean any kind of toilet roll would have done… I decided to get some goodies for New Year as New Years day is the only day in the year I don’t cook unless I am fortunate to have a break for a couple of days away from my housewife duties.

 

Shocked the evening of the eleventh of December, they had no sweet mince pies, no Christmas cakes at all, no brand what so ever, no Christmas pudding, not even turkey that is turkey that normal people can afford. Have you checked out the prices of some turkeys out there? I think the most expensive one I have seen was and I mean was, £160. Seriously, OH, my goodness. Is it an ostrich? No, just stuffed with stupidness. No pigs in blankets, (Small sausages wrapped in bacon) or, in my Sons words “poor pigs wrapped in their own skins.”” There wasn’t even any streaky bacon to put on top of the turkey. Well earlier in the week, my Husband asked me why was I getting the meat for yesterdays delivery? It’s too early he told me… Well I’m glad I did as I normally do, and do so well too, and that was, I took no notice and added a large chunk of pork, pigs in blankets, streaky bacon and a turkey. All to go in the freezer. They all came thankfully last night. Hub said, where I am going to put this I don’t know… well we found a space in our small freezer in the garage. I swear if anyone comes over Christmas there will be plenty of meat as obviously my Son and myself don’t eat meat. As my brother and SIL have been that only leaves in our family who come my Father in law and brother and SIL in law. Whoever comes, will be getting meat… no way my Husband can eat that and I bought a small turkey it read serves four people. Really? Heck, it’s quite big, when it came yesterday I just handed it over to Hub the only thing I have to do with that is ordering it, I hate touching the poor thing… the pork looks big oh, and I bought a what they call three bird roasts. Basically, it’s three birds in one and topped with bacon. And that will serve about six people… Reminds me. I must go to our local shop and stock up in loo rolls haha.

 

My Son and I have a quorn gammon roll. And what they call a family roast. They are the size of a very large sausage and they are really nice, especially the gammon which I had never had until this year. I tried it a few weeks ago just to make sure it was OK before ordering it for Christmas lunch and both my Son and I loved it. I cook it in the oven with some oil poured over the top until it is slightly crunchy on the top. Turning it so it gets nice and crisp all the way around. You get loads of slices out of it you can eat the two roasts hot or cold and they are a fraction of the price but moreover they are not dead animals on our plates!

 

We have our Paxo stuffing mix that is the only brand I like. I chop onions up finely, add salt and pepper a little butter pour in the mix of sage and onion that is all the stuffing mix is as well as herbs and pour over boiling water, mix then put in a dish for the oven, cook with foil covering it then remove the foil for the last fifteen minutes. Yum. It’s delicious. We have our cranberry sauce we just need fresh vegetables and oh, I must remember plain flour to make Yorkshire puddings, they are mine and our Sons favourite. Veg wise, we will have mushy peas, I think a must for Christmas dinner. Turnip mashed with butter, sprouts, carrots, white cabbage, parsnips done in honey, roast potatoes and mash potato!

 

Re our Christmas cake, it’s a funny one. I asked my friend if we paid her would she make one for us as she is the original amazing cake maker. She said she would love to. She even told me the recipe she was going to use. I have asked her three times to let me know how much she wants for the cake. And now I can’t mention it again so I don’t know if she has even made one… I can’t have Christmas without a cake so I am going to have to buy a dam cake but as I can’t get one on line that sounds any good, in fact none were available last night, I will have to go to our horrid big shop across that awful deadly killer road. Battle through the crowds of people knocking each other out the way for the last cake on the shelf or the last parsnip. Seriously it’s crazy out there. The shops are closed for one day. Having said that, will there be anything left? Christmas is coming around earlier each year. Soon people will be buying at Easter and deep freezing.

 

Our snow lasted one day. It’s bitter cold out there but sunny. It’s colder here than what it is in parts of Canada. They said on the news yesterday we have had it colder in parts of Britain than Alaska.

 

I must buy some nuts for our birds outside. As there are no buries left on the trees. I just don’t know how they cope in that cold. I’m sitting in my conservatory freezing. I have my pathetic heater on but it’s not cutting it. My Husband is in the living room working from home. Why not the office? Good question. My Son is still in bed but he is taking our dogs out for a walk when he wakes.

 

Talking of nuts, we were honestly, keep up. Haha. There I was last night eating some nuts in shells… Well, not actually eating the shells, but using my nut cracker. Really, what have I done to the nut cracker what is it with nut crackers and me? After last years fiasco and last night, I was happily cracking away when ouch, the dam thing bit me. Nipped my finger. It bled you should see the blood blister I have now.

 

13 days until Christmas. Am I prepared? Almost just some final things to do, oh, like write Christmas cards, less and less people are bothering now days. I am off to see our friends in Northumberland next week. We always get a few nice cards from them. It will be lovely to see them it’s been forever. I think it was a year ago since we last saw them. Gosh where does the time go. It will be a big day out for Waggatail. She will love it, oh reminds me I have a doggy toy to buy too. We have one but have to go to the pet shop for another. Dogs love Christmas, don’t they? Or is it the thing of getting excited to open their presents as sometimes there are treats among them. So, in June we could wrap something for them and they would be equally excited. Or, do they really know it’s Christmas, perhaps they see Santa deliver parcels, or the reindeer flying over the houses whilst we are tucked in bed fast asleep. Because we all know that Santa won’t come if we are awake, right?

 

I’m amazed to learn just how many children read my blogs and as far as I know, most of them have been so good that they will be getting a nice present this year, but there will be some who receive a bit of coal in their stocking. Hmm. We all know why you will be getting that coal, don’t we? And it’s not to keep the fire going… but then there will be children who won’t be receiving any gifts. But they will be loved by all the angels and someone out there will be waiting for them to love them forever, just they will have to wait a while to find that person. And then there will be children who will have the best gift of all. The love from someone in their family. For those children I want to send my love. X  

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